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bjbj< Hi I m Dr. Liz Hale Marriage and Family Therapist with HusbandandWife.com and RomanticMarriages.com
We have one goal and that is to help you form and sustain a healthy, lasting, loving marriage!
Facebook is becoming one of the most popular gathering places on the internet, it doesn
t necessarily have to be a cyber-threat to your marriage but marriages are vulnerable
to all kinds of online and real-life threats because we fail to protect ourselves with
necessary boundaries and we are all vulnerable. So the key? When on-line, stay in line! Set
Some Safeguards: Discuss with your mate: What FB friends and groups are O.K. and what s
not O.K. How much information about yourself and family is too much information? Are either
of you uncomfortable with potential FB friends? Are any communication methods off limits?
Keep correspondences with people of the opposite sex public by posting on their walls, or limited
to commenting on status here and there. Keep each other informed of Facebook emails from
people. Whatever your safeguards, be sure that both you and your spouse are on the same
page when it comes to what is and what is not acceptable for each other on Facebook.
A little prevention can go a long way in safeguarding your relationship. And you know the couples
I worry most about are those that say, that will never happen to us because we are all
vulnerable. Don t Post Anything Negative About Your Spouse A lot of banter, complaining,
and sharing occurs when people post their status updates. It is common for FB friends
to whine about the weather, joke about a frustrating work issue or report on something new in their
life on their status updates. But it is always uncomfortable when someone complains about
their spouse. When first getting started on Facebook accepting Facebook friends and accepting
friend requests can be very exciting because you are reconnecting with people from your
past. Ultimately, it is your decision to accept them into your social network. They can be
family members, friends, neighbors, co-workers, associates, long-lost friends or past flames
will come up. Once FB friends are accepted, they see and view everything you post publicly
and vice-versa. So one question to ask when requesting or accepting a FB friend is, would
my spouse be comfortable with this would my spouse like me being friends with this person
on Facebook? Listen to your heart, and listen to your spouse. A common pattern arises when
reading a variety of news stories on internet affairs I know you have seen them, a spouse
starts chatting with someone of the opposite sex about their relationship woes. Over time,
the live chats turn to emails that turn to phone calls that turn to face-to-face meetings
that turn to you get the picture. And when the adulterous relationship becomes public
knowledge, the confiding spouse says, What I never meant for this to happen I never intended
to have an affair. Why we are so vulnerable with online past loves, looking at past flames
is that our hormones have been memorized, there is a part of us that has memorized senior
prom back to Mike and suddenly we see Mike on the Facebook and we go, Oh my gosh, senior
prom! Whatever happened to Mike? And you know the adage curiosity kills the cat! Well it
can kill a lot more. It can kill just our good old wisdom that says, you know I better
leave that one alone. So bottom line, learn from other peoples mistakes. Avoid discussing
your relationship difficulties with people of the opposite sex, and be careful of developing
too close of a confidant online or even at work. When on-line, stay in line! When at
work, stay with work! ph)0; ph)0; ph)0; phfff [Content_Types].xml u$Nw @8Jb _rels/.rels
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