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You left a parsnip on my chair, I found some sweetcorn in my underwear,
You place some broccoli on every stair, And it frightened me.
I found a broadbean in my wine, And some spinach on my washing line,
You shoved a marrow where the sun don't shine, And it frightened me.
You're playing vegetable, vegetable tricks! Is that how you're getting your kicks?
playing vegetable, vegtable tricks! I'm dealing with someone who's sick!
You put a cabbage in my summer hat, You force-fed beetroot to my favourite cat,
Now there are purple patches where it sat, And it frightened me.
I found 12 mushrooms in my shoe, What a horrid, horrid thing to do,
I was going to use them in tomorrow's stew, You knew that, didn't you?
You're playing vegetable, vegetable tricks! Is that how you're getting your kicks?
playing vegetable, vegetable tricks! I'm dealing with someone who's sick!
You're playing vegetable, vegetable tricks! (broccoli!)
Is that how you're getting your kicks? (and parsnipy!)
playing vegetable, vegetable tricks! (butter bean!)
I'm dealing with someone who's sick! (and aubergine!)