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Interestingly enough is that we don't just work in, come to our work environment with
all of these sorts of tricks. Sometimes, we cry to break people down so that they feel
sorry for it and they don't have to have the conversation, sometimes we yell and bully
people so that we don't have to have the conversation. If I can make it uncomfortable, we will avoid
the work. Now people may not consciously be thinking of that but we learn these things
at a very,very early age. And one of my favorite stories that I would like to share because
it illustrates what a wonderful parent I am: never had children, I now have a five-year-
old boy. I am old enough to be a great great great grandfather but I have got a five-year-old
little boy and his name is Max and we will get together and I will say," Max, would you
like to come with Daddy? Today is Saturday and we are going to go and go play at the
playground, we are going to go to chucky cheese or whatever we are going to do but before
we do, Daddy has got a few things he needs to do. We need to
go to Wal-Mart and I need to pick up a few things. So what I would like you to do is
I would like you to come with me but I don't want you asking for toys, I don't want you
asking for candy. We are just going into work and have some fun. How do you feel about that,
Max?" Max: "Oh Daddy, that sounds like the best
day ever!" So we get to Wal-Mart, we walk this far into the store, and my little Max
falls back on his back, waves his arm and screams," Daddy is hurting me!"
Me: What? You know, I thought, "Did I trip him? Did I hurt the little guy? Hey Max, are
you okay? I didn't mean to hurt you." Max: "Daddy, do I get toys and candy?"
Me: "Oh, I see the game that we are playing here. No Max, we don't get toys and candy."
Max: "Daddy is really hurting me!" And he starts screaming louder.
And I said," Okay, I am just going to let you sit down and scream."
Then I start looking around and everybody is looking at me and saying, "Who's that guy
next to the little boy? Is that really his father? What is he doing hurting him?" And
I start getting pretty uncomfortable. Me: "Max, please get up! Now I am gonna give
you something to be screaming around!" Max: "Do I get candies and toys?"
Me: "Yes you get two of them. Get up right now!"
So we go. I get my stuffs, he gets his candy and toys, we go back out to the car and I
leave it. Me: "Max, I thought we talked about that.
You were not going to get candy; you were not going to get toys"
Max: "Oh Daddy! I will never do that again" Guess what happens next Saturday? The same
thing! Guess what happens next Saturday? The same thing!
So the point of all of these besides a little bit of humor is that you know, we don't learn
these patterns of work avoidance just out of the blue, we sort of bring these things
into the work environment. A lot of research on all of these sorts of things. So, again
if we can help people and be sensitive to them but still hold them accountable for what
they are, therefore, that's real leadership in my mind. Makes some sense?