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Loch McHale: So LGBTQIQ2-S - the L is lesbian, the G is gay, Q - ***,
I is intersex, T is trans - Liz: A majority of the people that we see
in our services and in the city aren't from here, it's not like you instantly
turn liberal the day you move in to San Francisco.
Izzy: My friends, they weren't ready to have a girl in their circle and I accepted
that and I was like "Well, it's not a problem."
I said "I came into your group as a boy and I'm going to leave as a girl."
Toby Eastman: I understand you're looking for a new job?
Female Speaker: Yeah, I got a callback at this really high-end fashion place.
Though I'm kind of worried because when I answered the phone they expect a girl to
show up for the interview and I'm not quite sure if I'm going to fit their image.
Logan: If you look back 10 year ago,
every *** organization was LGB and then a couple of years later it was LGBT but
like gender identity started changing and varying and those communities became more
visible and the definitions that people were using and youth were using -- all of
these was changing, the generations were cycling through specifically with the
internet and so we say the use of gender ***, gender variant, and two-spirited
and all of this stuff and so as a provider you have to like constantly have those
conversations to know what the language is and what people are comfortable with.
Toby Eastman: If we can appreciate a human being's experience, a person's
experience and honor their experience and respect their experience for what it
is without needing to change it, without needing to judge it then we can support
them on their journey. What would you like to be the end result
of this interview? Izzy: I would really like to get a job.
It's been so tough on the sheets. I have been - don't have any retail
experience and I've never worked with any customers.
I've never operated a cash register. Loch McHale: I'm always making mistakes
with pronouns - he, she, zhe, they, them, their - one of the things that I'm trying
to remember is to stay humble and asking for clarification and asking what it
is that individual first but I can think of almost daily interactions.
Male Speaker: What exactly do clients mean when they say zhe?
What is that about? Liz: It's actually an alternative to he
or she. It's a third identity that doesn't
identify within the binary gender system of he and she so it's almost - it's
a third gender. Zhe and he are the same - you would use
zhe as a he or she and hir as their or they.
Loch McHale: Honestly, I just prefer - try to do names or they or them.
Toby Eastman: So one of the things that you mentioned was that they're expecting
a girl to walk in the door?
Izzy: Yeah, I don't really know how to do professional makeup.
I mean I know how to do makeup just to please a guy.
I mean if I'm getting interviewed by a guy, it's going to be a walk in the park.
I figure show a little cleavage, do some like red lipstick, let my hair down,
it's like, yeah, they're not going to turn me down.
But if it's a girl I feel like I'm going to be under this watchful eye like she's
going to judge my makeup or say that I'm dressing too slutty.
It's not like I have a lot of options. Toby Eastman: And so you've seen some of
the sales people there and some of the women there, how they dress and how they -
and I also don't want to make any assumptions - is it you want to present as
a woman in the interview? Izzy: Yes, I would like to.
Toby Eastman: Okay. Liz: There are no assumptions.
You cannot assume anything about anybody. I remember a situation when I used to
work at the shelter, an individual came in and presented male - looked like they just
walked out of the military yesterday - short hair, wearing very male-identified
clothing and they walked in and I had no assumptions that that's who they were.
And I did a whole intake with them and asked them - what gender they identified
as and they almost broke down in a sense that they had just come from I think it
was Iowa or something and had started crying and were so relieved that they
could actually come here and identify as female because that was their internal
gender identity and from that moment on they like kind of a wig in their bag
and they had their identity that they just needed to be able to sit - for somebody to
say that it was okay. Loch McHale: Name any AKAs, date of
birth, social security - and one of the big things that I've learned not to assume
is around gender so we always ask male, female, transgender male to female,
transgender female to male, intersex, or other as well as the option to refuse or
unknown. Toby Eastman: So let's sort of get out
what would make you feel comfortable in that environment?
Izzy: Well it's a little difficult to become comfortable when you're
a transgender. I mean, for one thing, I don't feel like
a boy and another thing I don't quite feel like a woman unless I have a man paying me
and telling me how beautiful I am.
Form day one as I started transitioning to a woman the only way I knew that I was
passable is by how much I got paid so when I started out naturally I wasn't making
that much money but as I progressed with my hormone therapy it seemed like the sack
of money was getting bigger. Liz: If you've known someone for two
years and you feel like you are at a space that you can just as casually as you need
to be like "Hey, I've never actually asked you this but I really want to respect you
and respect who you are. So can I ask you what pronouns you prefer
for me to be using?
I don't want to identify you as anything that you don't so can you share that with me?"
especially with a client that you've been working with for a long time
and they're actually going to be more than willing to share with you how they
identify. It's not something that for most - I guess
I can't speak for everybody - but for a lot of people it's not an offensive thing
to ask them how they identify, it's actually a privilege and an opportunity
for them to express their identity.
Izzy: You know with this job, I see stability.
I see a future for myself. For once I can finally see myself in
a stable household with my own apartment. I don't have to live in a hotel.
I don't have to sleep on the street. Loch McHale: I love coming to work every
single day. Even when I don't want to come, if I look
at it and I'm mindful about what it is I get to do every day, I've got a great job.