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When You Fall, I Am With You—Because I Love You
May 18, 2018
The Lord is our strong tower in times of adversity.
And He continually protects us from all things that are not going to bring about good in
our lives at some point.
This morning, I awoke to three readings from different books I use—and the readings were
about tragedy.
I couldn’t imagine what it meant, but I went straight into a communion service and
prayed my heart out for all of us to be protected.
Of course, in times like that our imaginations run wild.
So, I wasn’t in the greatest place after I received communion.
However, the Lord kindly came running to my side to comfort and reassure me.
And my rhema cards were, “Be at Peace.
Let nothing frighten or upset you.” and “Perverse counsels separate a man from God.”
As well as “May the Lord bless you and keep you.
May He show His Face to you and be merciful to you.
May He turn His countenance to you and give you peace.
May the Lord bless you, my Beloved.”
Well, I wondered where this came from, because the 'm' was small.
So, it wasn't the Lord that gave me this message, or this card.
I don't know how long ago I wrote it.
But obviously, it was someone I'm close to, and very possibly, part of the Great Cloud
of Witnesses.
But Jesus came to comfort and clarify quickly.
He began, “I don’t want you to be so deeply disturbed.
It is not anything earth-shaking, just difficult—and as always, you will navigate through it.
In flying colors.
Clare, I have heard your repentance and your feelings of hopelessness.
You are nothing more than human.
When these temptations assail you and you fall, you are just like the rest of humanity—no
better, no worse.
And you are suffering from PTSD.
That’s why you cry so easily."
Well, I forgot to mention.
The reason that I fell, and this is SO silly.
But it wasn't silly to the Lord—it's important.
I've been getting... trying to cut down on the calories in my coffee drink.
So, I got rid of the things that are fattening.
And I ordered a few extracts to try them and see what was going to work to flavor it.
So at least I could enjoy my coffee drink in the morning.
Well, anyway...
To make a long story short, I ended up with 4 or 5 little tiny jars of extract on my counter-top.
And I looked at that, and I thought, 'This is TERRIBLE!
How could I be so foolish as to do this?
What in the world is going on with my mind?'
I mean, one or two would have been fine.
But 4 or 5?
That's ridiculous!
Well, I was very upset with myself.
And I could see that I was reaching outside for comfort, rather than reaching close to
the Lord.
I was reaching outside for physical comfort, from something I could put in my mouth.
Just like a baby!
Looking for the breast, you know?
Crying and looking for the breast...
Just like a baby.
But, Satan didn't waste any time in using that against me.
And of course, I did feel conviction, being so foolish as to spend unnecessary money,
that really belongs to the poor, on such a thing.
And I felt really badly about it.
So, that's what He was referring to when He said that I'm nothing more than human.
"When these temptations assail you and you fall, you are just like the rest of humanity."
He continued, “But I have you covered, you and your family.
Each and everyone of them is so precious to Me.
I am guarding them as the apple of My eye.
You have gone through a great deal of tragedy with them already—I could not make springtime
bitter for you.
“When I say you are like the rest of humanity, you run for comfort from the nearest thing
when you’re feeling low.
Once you have gotten over all this—and you will get over it—then you will be standing
on solid ground again.
I know your hurt and woundedness from all of this.
I understand the depth of trial you have endured with your husband far better than you do.
And let Me reassure you—this, too, will pass."
Of course, I started crying right away, because it made me feel so good to hear Him say that
to comfort me!
Jesus continued, “You are going through a bit of a dark night right now.
Do not despair.
This, too, will soon be over.
What I do need from you is consistency and faithfulness.
Your voice is coming along painfully slowly, because you are drawn away by other things
constantly.
Some are necessary; some are not.
But I want you to know that this, too, will be removed from your aching heart.
Just work as hard as you can on hydration and practice.
Practice does make perfect!
“I long to see you doing what is in your heart, and you’ve had tremendous opposition.
But you are becoming more and more aware of it during the day, of what is taking your
time, as well.
What needs to be added to that awareness is a conscious decision to go forward with some
things, and forego others in favor of what is most important.
I see you doing that.
I just want you to do it more.
“Music is important.
Other than prayer, and specific time with your husband, that should be first and foremost
filling your day.
And I do mean filling it.”
At that point, He stopped talking and He took me in His arms and started swaying back and
forth with me.
“You just don’t see," He began, "the deep, deep wounds you have incurred during his sickness.
And they have really taken a toll on you physically, spiritually, mentally.
But I am turning the tables on this and healing you.
And may I say?
You will be better than new when I am finished?
Jesus continued, “Somethings cannot be said with words, but only with hugs.
I do love you, just as you are; full of flaws.
I do forgive you.
But I ask you to have more of a heart when it comes to sacrificing for the poor.
Do with less, but take care of essentials.
“You are so desiring to go back to that state you were in, in Analomink, in Pennsylvania.
When you were so very poor and happy with only Me.
Yes, I understand that.
I want you to have that now.
But understand that you cannot go back.
You must go forward, implementing the lessons of the past.
And I will bestow on you the joys of that freedom you felt embracing holy poverty—free
from so many likes and dislikes, wants and don’t wants.
"But this will be a process—very little bits at a time.
Do not embark on a project to empty your house, that would be so distracting.
Instead, just cull things away as you see them, and stay first and foremost focused
on singing and music.”
Well, a little bit of explanation for this.
Here, Jesus is talking about the time we left the world.
I'd gotten really disillusioned with the Evangelical church.
I just wasn't seeing enough of Jesus in it.
And I ended up in the Catholic Church.
I was fascinated by the Early Church and the traditions of the first Apostles.
And I wasn't finding that in the places I was going.
I wasn't finding anything about self-denial, carrying your cross - things like that were
not being spoken.
It was more prosperity oriented.
And that felt wrong to me.
So I got rid of every trapping I had only the most meager furniture and bedding, pots
and pans.
In fact, all the furniture that we had in that little cabin on the side of a mountain
in the Poconos - all we had was build with 2x4's and plywood.
Beds, table and benches.
When I left that three-story Victorian house in Annapolis, Maryland, I left the old me.
The one that my mother had raised.
The worldly one, constantly taken up with taste, color, design, and every superfluity
you could imagine.
I left her behind—big time.
Of course...I didn't leave behind my flavoring in my coffee...
But I think that's coming, too!
Anyway, my mother came from a wealthy family and always loved the really nice things, which
she couldn’t easily afford.
I definitely came out of that cookie mold—although a slightly scaled down version.
But when we left the DC area and settled in a tar-paper cabin in the Pocono Mountains,
we had to build bunk beds for everything.
For us to sleep on, for our four children to sleep on.
We had running water only when it rained.
The well froze in the winter, so we had to haul water.
This was during the time of Hurricane Gloria, for those who might remember.
And I have to tell you, never in my life was Jesus so present to Me.
It was a heavenly time where only God and my family mattered; all else was irrelevant.
And oh, how free I was, finally!
My husband at that time went to the University of Maryland for public affairs and we dressed
the part.
Bailing out of that into the wilderness was the most liberating thing that has ever happened
in my life.
And now that I have need of equipment and a functional house...
Well, here come the temptations.
Jesus continued, “In the areas where you are concerned, I am protecting you from unjust
circumstances.
The camp of the enemy has already suffered many losses.
And may I say, there is a certain reticence setting in about so many attacks against you.
There are repercussions to attacking My servants, you know.
"Pray for them.
Some are lying dead and others wounded.
And My heart for them is that they renounce their lives in the darkness, and come into
the Light to be restored to the fullness I intended for them at conception.
A beauty and a life they could never imagine to be so good.
So, please remember to pray for them with great tenderness.
“Clare, I am pleased with you.
I do understand the pressures you’ve been under.
I am here to comfort you, My Love, because your heart is for Me.
Even Paul suffered from the same afflictions of heart and mind, and had his own way of
seeking comfort in difficult times.
There is not one on Earth who does not reach for a cup of cool water in their journeys
through this very harsh and depleting world.
“You are all just human.
“And to you, My dear Heartdwellers, understand—she is no spiritual giant.
Just a little girl with her hand planted firmly in Mine.
She is assailed just as you are.
She reaches for the chocolate, just like you do.
And you are all so similarly endowed with temptations, that from My view and from the
Great Cloud’s view, you are all family.
My family.
Children growing to maturity, encountering the wilderness of this world.
“And when I say 'wilderness', I do not mean the beautiful places that are wild.
I mean this Earth, it’s cultures, it’s habitations of demons—with or without some
kind of body, as demon-aliens have.
They are NOT family.
I could not even say they are dogs, because I love and cherish dogs—and that would be
an insult.
They are more like poisonous vipers, continually looking for a place to inject discord, hatred,
judgment and everything destructive.
“So, walking through this tangle of snakes is not easy, and only Virtue can protect you.
And that is the path all My children are walking: learning the art of virtue, character, integrity.
It is difficult at times, because trials must come to perfect you—and so, I permit them.
“But at the same time, you are constantly receiving instruction, prayers and encouragement
from those who are around you—the visible and the invisible.
But nonetheless, just as real as I am to you.
"Tell Me.
How fair would it be to you if I allowed you to walk in the midst of vipers constantly
giving you poisonous counsels, and did not at the same time give you angels and saints
to instruct you through that mess?
“Do you see?
And I mean this question pointedly: do you SEE?
For your own good, not only have I given you the lives of those who conquered themselves,
written for you to study.
I have even assigned them to you to help you overcome these trials.
And that truly is the Great Cloud of Witnesses!
Plus, I am always with you.
“Oh, how I detest this separation you must endure on Earth.
How I long for your spiritual eyes to be opened, so you can see the friends that walk by your
side and pray for you as well!
“Certainly, the Devil has his advisors.
His 'familiar spirits'.
To try and poison your conscience.
Would it be right for Me to allow the devils to outweigh the angels and saints in your
lives?
Of course not!
And bear in mind, the devils have counterfeits for everything good and licit that I have
established.
He has nothing original in himself; all he can do is copy and pervert the good I have
given My creation.
“I am leading you outside the box, My people.
I am restoring you to the truths that were stolen by Satan through well-meaning men without
thorough understanding.
In truth, the Body does much more harm to itself than the enemy ever could.
But that is because the enemy works through those with very good intentions and very limited
understanding.
"So, ponder these Truths I am imparting to you.
They are part of the path that you must walk to Holiness.
You can stay where you want to stay.
I will still work with you.
"But for those of you who want more and want the fullness of what I've provided for you,
this is a difficult journey.
And requires a great deal of discernment and courage.
"I bless you now, that you may go and bring forth fruit with greater and greater insight,
understanding and spiritual vision.
"I am with you, because I love you.”