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Hey guys! Today I am just going to talk a little bit about being a confident and happy
person, based on things that I picked up through the years in my teens and now my early twenties
that really help to boost my self esteem and keep me in the best mental space possible.
So the first thing I sort of learned to do is to prioritize things, as far as free time,
that make me feel really good about myself--things that I am good at. The important thing is
to invest your free time in constructive things that you are good at and passionate about
that also make you feel really good about yourself. These things can be anything, they
can be sports they can involve something creative. Anything that makes you feel a sense of mastery,
makes you feel really good about something that you do and love that you are also very
gifted at.
Another thing is to take part in activities that are therapeutic for you, make you feel
really calm and relaxed. For me, this blog is something that is very therapeutic for
me just because I get to zone out and do something that I love that's relaxing but also constructive
at the same time. Something that I think is really important is to set little goals and
challenges for yourself on the short term, so maybe on a timeframe of a week to two weeks.
Say something that you want to achieve! Whatever it is, doing this is really good because you
are also training yourself to be very driven and really efficient. No matter how big or
small it may be, that sense of achievement that comes from achieving your goals is something
that is really healthy to have in your life on a regular basis.
Affirm yourself everyday! Have your self esteem and self worth and confidence be rooted in
your own self affirmation. Growing up, sometimes I would get made fun of in school. More in
middle school, and a little bit in high school. Sometimes I would come home rally upset about
it and I would tell my parents, and usually they would respond with questions: "Are you
ugly? Are you dumb?" And I would always say no, of course. At the time, it didn't feel
helpful at all, but now in my early twenties I can honestly say that that was something
that was incredibly healthy for me to have. It made me a very strong person, and it made
me learn to be a self affirming person. So I would often say "no I'm not ugly or no I'm
not dumb," and then they'd respond "then don't worry about it."
All through college I watched people struggle with this and I was almost a step ahead because
I had learned to be self affirming and so it didn't really matter what other people
said about me, especially people who didn't know me, it didn't matter when people said
"oh she's this or she's that." It didn't really matter because I am self affirming, I love
me, and I very confident in the person I have become. So if you can become a self affirming
person it can help you, not only on the day to day but it also helps you drown out all
the noise created by chatter and gossip.
Growing up, I was always in these really small schools. My high school had less than 50 people
in my grade. Yes my grade, not my class my grade. I've always had these really close
knit, small communities and moving to college was really different because it was a much
bigger environment. Even though it is a small college, it still felt HUGE to me. All of
a sudden there were 1000 people in my class from all over the world and from different
walks of life, and so now that I have been through college and have a little more experience
I am learning that you really need to be careful about the company you keep in terms of positive
vs negative people.
Positive people are people who make you feel good, and encourage you and push you to pursue
your goals and don't judge new ideas that you have. They don't put you down for wanting
to try something new. Having negative people in your life just sort of hinders you because
then you have anxiety, and you have more negative thoughts. It doesn't just have to be naysayers,
people who just don't make you feel good. At that point, you really need to contemplate
whether it's worth having that kind of energy in your life because energies are so important,
and you really want to keep your mental space as free and clean of negative energy as posible.
Give back! This is so important. I remember I have been to Quaker school all my life besides
college, and a huge part of that was service! I grew up with the importance of service and
the importance of helping people who can't give you anything back. It feels good to help
other people. When I got into high school I traveled to Brazil to do service there,
and it was just so rewarding to see what difference you could make doing something so small that
you wouldn't think would make such a huge difference in someone else's life. When you
do it you can see what an impact you actually make, and there's no greater feeling.
Be your own person! If you want to do something crazy or wacky do it. I remember in high school
I used to wear my hair in braids, and I thought it was the coolest thing ever to have one
blond braid so I did that. It was fun! Having your own set of ideas and doing what you want
to do is so much more freeing and rewarding than just doing what everyone else is doing.
I grew into that when I was younger, so by the time I got into college it was really
easy for me to do. Something that really helped me with this is realizing that people do not
think about you as much as you're probably afraid that they do.
And that just brings me back to what I was saying about affirming yourself and having
your opinions be rooted in what you think. Understand that if you think positively about
yourself, nothing else really matters. Don't be too swayed by what other people think whether
it be positive or negative because people are fickle and you don't want your esteem
or hopes to be riding on the opinions of others.
This is so big for me, reward and appreciate yourself and demand that others do the same.
I'm not saying that you should require that other people gift you or treat you when you
do something good, but don't allow people to sort of downplay your achievements because
that is a very damaging thing to have around you. Stand up for what you achieve, stand
up for what you accomplish, and don't let anyone downplay that. I personally like to
reward myself with chocolate covered strawberries from Godiva, so if I do something small like
upload all the blog posts I wanted to by the end of the week, I treat myself to some chocolate
covered strawberries.
This is a really great and healthy way to keep yourself motivated and also to appreciate
yourself because that is very important.
You need to be in the habit of celebrating yourself, and It's really good to sort of
be your own cheerleader! I really strongly believe in that, so whatever you want to do
to sort of cheer yourself on, make sure you do that as often as possible because it is
really good to have that self affirmation as consistently as possible.
Be social! Get out there, talk to people, meet people. Talk to different people who
you wouldn't normally talk to or get to know. I feel like this is a really valuable thing
to do because when you are interacting with others and having positive interactions with
others, it makes you feel really good, it improves your self esteem and it makes you
have a positive outlook about people.
Follow your passions! Let your passions be your guide. I have two passions because I
am very creative and I love taking part in creative activities, but I am also really
passionate about the things that I studied in school and the professional and career
paths that I am on. I try to devote as much time as possible to all my passions and I
think this is really healthy to do.
This reminds me of a quote that I want to share with you, by Steve Jobs: "Your time
is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which
is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions
drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and
intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else
is secondary." So true!
So the last one I am going to share is something that is very close to my heart. This is something
that really changed my life. For me it was just realizing and remembering, and keeping
in perspective, the fact that I am created by the Creator of the universe. The same God
who created the sun and the moon and the stars and the trees and the sky created me, and
decided that I am good and that's all that matters. This is written by King David, he
is a person in the Bible, the guy from the David and Goliath story. I don't know if you
guys know the story but, it says:
"13 For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.[a]
Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them."
And so what this is basically saying is that not only are you fearfully and wonderfully
made by the Creator of the universe, He also values you and He put a lot of though and
intention into creating each and every one of you. He has a plan for you, He knows the
beginning of your days and the end of your days before even one of them comes to pass,
and that is just such an empowering idea. This realization changed the way I see everything:
the way I see myself, the way I see other people, and I just feel that I wanted to share
that with you because it was something that was so life changing for me. Hopefully it
can have the same or similar effect for you!
So that's my complete list on how to be a happy and confident person, and I hope you
guys enjoyed it. I hope you will use some of my tips, and be sure to like and subscribe
for more videos like this.
Thank you so much for watching, LOVE you. Bye!