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LET'S GO!
24 ORDINARY MEN AND WOMEN ARE ABOUT TO GO HEAD-TO-HEAD
WITH THE MOST EXTRAORDINARY OBSTACLE COURSE EVER ASSEMBLED.
THOSE BRAVE ENOUGH MUST BE PREPARED
AAH!
SPECTACULAR TUMBLES AND CATASTROPHIC FALLS.
ONLY THE SWIFTEST AND FASTEST FOUR WILL MOVE ON
AND COMPETE IN OUR FINAL OBSTACLE COURSE--
THE BIGGEST OF THEM ALL-- THE WIPEOUT ZONE,
THE FINAL STEP IN THE JOURNEY TO $50,000.
THE EPIC COMPETITION BEGINS NOW
TO SEE WHO WILL EMERGE VICTORIOUS
AND WHO WILL...
(woman) YEAH! "WIPEOUT"!
(John A.) HELLO, AMERICA,
AND WELCOME TO TROPICAL STORM "WIPEOUT,"
WHERE IT'S RAINING CATS AND BIG BALLS.
I'M JOHN ANDERSON, AND JOINING ME
IN DELIGHTING IN THE MISFORTUNE OF OTHERS--
JOHN HENSON.
TONIGHT, 24 GUYS AND GALS WILL COMPETE
AS THEY BUILD AN ARK, GATHER ANIMALS TWO BY TWO
AND SEARCH FOR DRY LAND.
YEAH, THANKS, NOAH, BUT NO.
BUT OUR 24 REGULAR GUYS AND GALS
WILL TRY AND CONQUER THE BIGGEST, CRAZIEST,
SOGGIEST OBSTACLE COURSES EVER ASSEMBLED.
GREAT. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THE ALPACAS?
YEAH, THAT'S NOT MY PROBLEM RIGHT NOW.
ALL RIGHT. I'LL LEAVE 'EM IN YOUR TRAILER.
THE ONE CONTESTANT LEFT STANDING
AT THE END OF THE DAY
THERE YOU GO.
BUT FIRST, EVERYONE MUST TRY AND CONQUER
THE DAUNTING "WIPEOUT" QUALIFIER.
THIS WEEK, THE FAB FOUR COMPRISED OF--
PLANK IN THE FACE...
THAT DOES NOT SOUND GOOD.
DON'T HATE. MOTIVATE.
THE LOG ROLL, WHICH FEATURES
(deep voice) I'M GONNA MESS YOU UP.
AND THEN WE MOVE ON TO OUR FINAL ELEMENT,
THE FENDER BENDER-- SIX SPINNING BOAT FENDERS--
OF OUR 24 FEARLESS COMPETITORS,
ONLY THOSE WITH THE TOP 12 TIMES
WILL MAKE IT PAST THE QUALIFIER
AND ON TO THE NEXT ROUND.
ALL RIGHT, JOHNNY, THE BALLS COCKED, RACKED,
(grunts)
OUR FIRST CONTESTANT OF THE DAY--
25-YEAR-OLD PROFESSIONAL WELDER PETER WEIMAN.
AND I BELIEVE HIS HAIR WAS THE RESULT
OF AN UNFORTUNATE BLOWTORCH ACCIDENT.
THE THIRD MEMBER OF OUR "WIPEOUT" TEAM,
TELL ME ABOUT THE MUTTONCHOPS.
TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON. DO THEY COME OFF?
DID YOU PUT THEM ON?
THEY'RE REAL?
WOW. THAT'S MAGNIFICENT. LOOK AT THAT.
AND THAT'S WHY I'M A WELDER,
(John H.) NO!
(John A.) WELL, LET'S SEE IF OUR WELDER HAS THE CHOPS
(air horn blows)
WHOA.
NOW PETER WAS SUPPOSED TO NAVIGATE HIS WAY
ACROSS THE PLANKS,
(bell dings)
SOME OF WHICH ARE NOT.
WHOA.
NOW PETER GETS TO CLIMB THE LADDER
TO TAKE ON THE SECOND HALF OF PLANK IN THE FACE.
AAH!
YOU KNOW, JOHNNY, THESE PLANKS--NOT STURDY.
YEAH, WELL, IT'S NOT LIKE YOU CAN JUST FIND
PETER MAKING HIS WAY OUT OF THE FIRST TANK
AND ON TO THE NEXT OBSTACLE-- THE BIG BALLS PLUS MOTIVATOR.
AH, MOTIVATOR.
IF ANYBODY STOPS TO THINK ABOUT THE BIG BALLS TOO LONG,
LET'S SEE HOW THIS GOES.
OH! (laughs)
JILL, HOW'D IT LOOK FROM DOWN THERE?
THANKS FOR MUTTON, JILL.
HEY, LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THAT AGAIN IN OUR...
(voice slows down) SUPER SLO-MO CAM.
THE GRAVITATIONAL PULL ON HIS MUTTONCHOPS JUST TOO STRONG.
(normal voice) WELL, NOW REMEMBER,
ONLY OUR TOP 12 ADVANCE TO THE NEXT ROUND,
SO HE'S GOTTA PULL HIS FURRY FACE UP THAT LADDER,
OH, BOY.
WHILE ALSO LOOKING OUT FOR THE WRECKING BALL
(deep voice) ALL RIGHT, BOYS. WHO'S HUNGRY FOR MUTTON?
(growls)
JILL, WHAT HAPPENED TO PETER?
I THINK HE JUST FELL ASLEEP.
JILL, THIS COULD BE DANGEROUS.
I MEAN, WHAT IF HE'S A NARCOLEPTIC WELDER?
NO TO WORRY, JOHN. HIS MUTTONCHOPS ARE INFLATABLE.
THEY'RE LIKE FACIAL WATER WINGS.
HARD. (groans)
IT LOOKS PRETTY... (imitates pirate) HARD
(grunts)
WELL, OUR LAST OBSTACLE IS PRETTY HARD--THE FENDER BENDER.
THE REQUIREMENT HERE, HOP ACROSS SIX SPINNING BOAT FENDERS
AND TIME WILL STOP WHEN YOU REACH THE PLATFORM.
OTHERWISE, YOU'LL HAVE TO
MAKE THE SLOW SWIM TO OUR FINISH SPOT.
(mutters)
MAYBE THOSE AREN'T MUTTONCHOPS.
MY PILLOWS AT HOME ARE STUFFED WITH MUTTON HAIR, JOHN.
SOFTER THAN DOWN AND HYPOALLERGENIC.
YEAH, DISGUSTING.
UH, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE A STRONG SLEEPWALK FINISH.
WHOA.
JOHN, I'D SAY THIS COURSE DID NOT RESPECT ITS WELDERS.
ALL RIGHT, CHOP-CHOP.
LET'S GET BACK TO THE TOP OF THE COURSE
WHERE WE HAVE 27-YEAR-OLD RASHEED LATHIEF.
RASHEED, I HEARD SOMETHING VERY INTERESTING
I BECAME AN AMERICAN CITIZEN.
WHOO! (beatboxing)
(John H.) AND IT'S A GOOD THING
THERE'S NO DANCE SECTION ON THE CITIZENSHIP TEST.
WELL, JOHN, HOPEFULLY HE HAS BETTER MOVES
WHOO-HOO!
YEAH, JOHNNY.
(bugle plays "Charge!")
ALL RIGHT, RASHEED UP TO THE BIG BALLS.
I'M GONNA JUMP ON THE SECOND BALL, RIGHT THERE.
(tape rewinds)
I'M GONNA JUMP ON THE SECOND BALL, RIGHT THERE.
WHOO!
AND HE DID IT.
WHOO!
RASHEED EXERCISING THE AMERICAN FREEDOM
TO MAKE REALLY BAD DECISIONS.
(chants) U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
LET'S GO!
WITH THE COURSE WETTER THAN USUAL,
IT'S BEEN DOING MORE DAMAGE THAN USUAL, JOHN.
AAH!
AAH!
AN OLDIE BUT A GOODY.
ABSOLUTELY BRUTAL.
ALL THE WAY TO OUR FENDER BENDER...
OH. AAH!
IT'S FAIR TO SAY THIS WEEK'S WET AND WILD QUALIFIER
AAH!
OH!
(Jill) CONGRATULATIONS. YOU HAVE THE FASTEST TIME YET.
YES.
(John A.) WELL, JILL, MAYBE IT DOESN'T TAKE SPEED
TO CONQUER THE COURSE.
IT COULD BE AN EXPERIENCE THING.
YOU'RE OUR OLDEST CONTESTANT TO DATE ON "WIPEOUT."
GREAT. GREAT.
(John H.) EASY, JACK.
YOU'RE 69. LET'S TAKE IT ONE HOUR AT A TIME.
JOHNNY, DON'T COUNT HIM OUT. HE'S SEASONED--OH!
HE JUST HAD HIS HEAD BASHED BY A PLANK.
(high-pitched voice) OH, NO!
HE'S 69 YEARS OLD.
HE WAS 69, JILL. HE WAS.
JOHN, THE CAMERA SO SLOW, I CAN SEE HIS SPIRIT RISING.
(harp music plays)
AND, YOU KNOW, TODAY THE PLANK IN THE FACE
(smack)
HER, TOO.
WHOA!
AAH!
COME ON!
COMING UP ON THE BIG BALLS IS JEFF BUZARD.
THEY CALL HIM "BUZZ MAN" 'CAUSE HE'S AN AMATEUR PILOT.
PILOT IS THE ONE POSITION
WHERE I INSIST ON A PROFESSIONAL.
(bounce, whoosh, cymbal crashes)
OH, GOOD LORD IN HEAVEN. WHAT?!
I AM SPEECHLESS!
HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? PLEASE BE KIND. REWIND.
I HAVE GOT TO SEE THAT AGAIN.
THIS COULD BE STUDIED FOR GENERATIONS.
BUZZ MAN ACTUALLY ABLE TO JUMP TO THE FIRST BALL,
BELLY FLOP ON THE SECOND BALL AND THEN FLIP HIS WAY
(grunts)
THE BUZZ MAN NOW PREPARING TO JUMP TO THE FOURTH BALL.
IF HE MAKES IT THE ENTIRE WAY,
HE WILL BE OUR NATIONAL BIG BALL HERO.
HE'S DETERMINED.
JEFF THE BUZZMA--
NEVER MIND. MOVING ON.
GAINING HER COMPOSURE OVER AT THE FENDER BENDER
IS THIS WEEK'S YOUNGEST CONTESTANT--
OH!
OOH! SHE HUGGED THE FENDER BENDER
THAT ONE'S GOING ON TV, I KNOW.
OH!
I HOPE THAT HEMP JEWELRY IS QUICK DRYING.
LET'S GO BACK TO THE TOP OF THE COURSE NOW
I'M GONNA RIP IT. WHOO!
FOR NOW.
THANKS, GUYS. I'M DOWN HERE WITH MICHELLE HART.
THANK YOU. HI.
29.
SAN DIEGO WITH... MY PARENTS.
BUT, HEY, LOOK, IF YOU WIN THE $50,000,
UH, I'M GOING TO VEGAS,
(air horn blows)
(John H.) 29-YEAR-OLD MICHELLE WEARING THE GARANIMALS
(bleep)
OOH! THERE GOES $1 IN THE SWEAR JAR.
(bleep)
(bleep)
HERE GOES OUR DEADBEAT DAUGHTER NOW
AAH!
(thunder rumbling)
JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE TO GO BACK IN THE WATER,
HEY! TAKE THAT!
HIYA!
ALL RIGHT, THANKS, GUYS.
THAT'S RIGHT.
DIDI, WELCOME TO THE SHOW.
I ALWAYS SAY THAT-- DIDI WONG FROM HONG KONG.
(John H.) HEY, I WANT TO SAY IT, TOO.
IN FACT, I'M GONNA CHALLENGE ANDERSON
I'M READY.
(air horn blows)
DIDI WONG FROM HONG KONG
(buzzer sounds)
DIDI WONG FROM HONG KONG
DIDI WONG FROM HONG KONG
OH!
THE WRECKING BALL PLAYING PING-PONG
BUT SHE'S STILL BADDER THAN OLD KING KONG.
AAH!
SHE'LL RUN THIS COURSE LIKE LIONEL RICHIE--ALL NIGHT LONG.
HER FAVORITE AUTHOR IS ERICA JONG.
LORD, LIFT HER UP WHERE SHE BELONGS.
SHE'S ALL HOPPED UP ON DING DONGS.
WASHED 'EM DOWN WITH A CUP OF OOLONG.
AAH!
I GIVE. DIDI WONG FROM HONG KONG...
COMES IN AT 3 MINUTES, 33 SECONDS...
(John A. and John H.) LONG!
WERE YOU USING A RHYMING DICTIONARY?
IT'S CALLED SAMPLING, JOHN. IT'S AN ART FORM. I'M AN O.G.
ORIGINAL GANGSTER?
NO, ORIGINALLY FROM GREENWICH.
WHEN WE COME BACK, MORE CONTESTANTS
WILL SAMPLE THE QUALIFIER,
AS WE NARROW OUR FIELD FROM TWO DOZEN TO ONE DOZEN.
♪♪
(John H.) WELCOME BACK TO "WIPEOUT."
WHOO!
OF THE 24 WHO BEGAN THE DAY,
REMEMBER, ONLY THE 12 FASTEST TIMES
AND THEY'LL BE ONE STEP CLOSER
TO THE GRAND PRIZE OF $50,000.
ALL RIGHT. LET'S GET RIGHT TO OUR NEXT CONTESTANT,
JILL SPOKE WITH HER EARLIER. WATCH FOR THE HORNS, JILL.
THANK YOU, GUYS. I'M DOWN HERE WITH RAEGAN PHILLIPS.
THANK YOU.
ONLY TINY, TINY BITS AND PIECES.
MM.
(John H.) REALLY? OKAY. WELL, HERE'S A RECAP.
AAH!
(smack)
AAH!
NOW I ALSO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU HEAR VOICES IN YOUR HEAD.
(laughs) YES.
RUN. (laughs)
(laughs)
(cackles)
(laughs)
(air horn blows)
AAH! (cackles)
I THINK SHE MIGHT BE SUMMONING HER FLYING MONKEYS
WELL, LET'S SEE HOW SHE DOES ON OUR FIRST OBSTACLE,
OY VEY. OY VEY. OY VEY.
OY VEY! AAH!
OOH! THERE SHE GOES LIKE A MATZO BALL INTO THE SOUP.
OY VEY.
WELL, LET'S SEE IF RAEGAN AND THE FRIENDS IN HER HEAD
THIS IS NOT EASY.
AH, STOP IT, RAEGAN.
THAT'S JUST CRAZY TALK.... LITERALLY.
WHOA! (whimpers) GO FOR IT! OOH!
(crack, boing)
AAH! WHOA! EEK!
JOHN, SHE CERTAINLY WENT FOR IT, THOUGH.
(creaking)
SOUNDS LIKE SHE WENT
FOR LEAVING A FEW LAYERS OF SKIN ON THE BIG BALL.
MIGHT WANT TO PUT A LITTLE SALVE ON THAT.
HEY, GUYS. GOOD NEWS. THE RAIN IS LETTING UP.
THE BAD NEWS?
♪♪
MY LUNGS ARE GONNA BURST.
(bell dings)
I MEAN, YOU DON'T GO TO A GALLAGHER SHOW
MORE BAD NEWS NOW--
RAEGAN FACING THE LOG ROLL WITH WRECKING BALL.
(deep voice) WHOA. TAKE A STEP. I DARE YOU. OH.
(normal voice) COME ON, RAEGAN.
IF YOU'RE GONNA DO A CANNONBALL,
YOU GOTTA YELL "CANNONBALL!" IT'S TRADITION.
RAEGAN NOW APPROACHING THE FENDER BENDER.
IT'S THE FENDER BENDER.
OOH! THE BULL HORNS ARE BACK.
THIS IS GONNA BE EXCITING.
WHOA! (grunts) EEK!
OH... THERE GOES MY SHOE... AND MY DIGNITY.
(grunts)
LET'S GET BACK TO THE TOP OF THE COURSE
WHERE WE HAVE FEMALE FIREFIGHTER THERESA RIVERA.
SO, THERESA, I HEARD YOU CAN BENCH, LIKE, 180.
YES, I CAN. I ACTUALLY DID IT TO QUALIFY
YOU COULD PROBABLY, LIKE, BENCH JOHN HENSON.
WELL, I THINK HE'S ABOUT 230 OR 240,
(John H.) HEY, IS SHE A FIREFIGHTER...
OR A CARNIVAL BARKER?
HERE'S OUR FIREFIGHTER, TAKING ON THE PLANKS.
MY ENTIRE FAMILY IS HUSKY, JOHN. IT'S IN MY GENES.
THERESA UP AGAIN.
LET'S SEE IF SHE DOES BETTER ON THE SECOND SET OF PLANKS.
CRAP!
I HAVE A THYROID PROBLEM.
I WILL SHOW YOU A NOTE FROM MY DOCTOR.
YOU KNOW I'M RETAINING WATER RIGHT NOW.
FINE. YOU'RE A WAIF. SHOULD WE GET BACK TO THE COURSE?
NOW APPROACHING THE BIG BALLS--
LET'S GO, DIESEL.
EARLIER JILL FOUND OUT WHY SHE CALLS HERSELF "THE DIESEL."
THEY CALL ME "THE DIESEL" BECAUSE I'M JUST FAST.
WHOA!
OH!
OH!
OOH, DEBBY DIESEL JUST BECAME DEBBY DOWNER.
WHOA!
(wah-wah horn plays)
HEY, "DEBBY DOES BIG BALLS." I LOVE THAT MOVIE.
I STILL HAVE THE POSTER ON MY WALL. IT PLEASES ME.
TOUCHé, BIG BALLS. TOUCHé.
THEY'RE NOT GOING TO ANSWER YOU.
EVERYONE KNOWS BIG BALLS CAN'T TALK.
(deep voice) YEAH, THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
(thump)
ALL DAY LONG.
AAH!
NO!
(grunts) DANG!
AND FOR THOSE WHO NEED A LITTLE MOTIVATING...
THE MOTIVATOR IS IN FULL SWING.
AAH!
SWING AND A MISS.
AAH!
(water splashes)
(air horn blows)
THIS IS 23-YEAR-OLD FILM DIRECTOR SAM GRIFFITH
APPROACHING PLANK IN THE FACE.
AH, JOHN! HE COMPLETELY MISSED HIS MARK.
OKAY, SAM. PLANK IN THE FACE, TAKE TWO.
NAILED IT.
ENJOYING THE WEATHER AT THE TOP OF THE COURSE
IS CLAUDIA MOREL,
A STAY-AT-HOME MOM WHO DESCRIBES HERSELF
AS A DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE.
OOH, JOHN, I LOVE THAT SHOW.
(apple crunches)
CLAUDIA WAITED FOR HER HUSBAND TO LEAVE FOR WORK
TO RENDEZVOUS WITH THE GARDENER.
LITTLE DID SHE KNOW...
CARLOS HAD HIRED A 300-POUND WRECKING BALL
AAH! WHOA!
UPSET, SHE RAN TO HER NEIGHBOR JILL
WHOO! WHOO!
BUT SHE WAS OVERCOME WITH EMOTION
IT WAS AWESOME. (burps)
(tape rewinds)
IT WAS AWESOME. (burps)
AND NOW OUR FINAL CONTESTANT IN THE QUALIFIER--
6'3", 300-POUND--
280 WITHOUT THE ANKLE WEIGHTS-- MARKUS LINDLAHR.
MARKUS SAYS HE'S DEDICATING THIS RUN TO HIS SON...
MAXIMUS, WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH,
YOU GOTTA PUSH THROUGH, PUSH THROUGH THE PAIN. YEAH!
(air horn blows)
WELL, GONE NOW ARE THE ANKLE WEIGHTS,
(grunting)
HEY, MARKUS IS HOLDING ON. THAT'S A GOOD LESSON FOR MAX.
(smack)
THERE'S ALWAYS ANOTHER PLANK IN THE FACE.
REMEMBER, MAX, PUSH THROUGH.
AND NO TV UNTIL YOU FINISH SUN TZU'S "THE ART OF WAR."
MARKUS NOW UP TO THE BIG BALLS,
EYEING THE MOTIVATOR.
YEAH!
YEAH!
AND REMEMBER, HELMETS ARE FOR GIRLS.
NEVER GIVE UP, MAXIMUS.
IT'S LIKE THAT BEDTIME STORY I READ YOU--
"THE LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULD
BECAUSE IT MANAGED TO SUCK UP THE PAIN!"
AT LEAST MAX IS LEARNING
THAT LIFE ISN'T ALL ORANGE SLICES AND JUICE BOXES.
UH-OH. MARKUS REALLY NEEDS TO HUSTLE HERE
TO SNEAK INTO THAT TOP 12.
GOTTA COME IN UNDER 3:30. AND HE'S DONE IT.
WITH A TIME OF 3:18,
MARKUS WILL NAB THE FINAL SPOT IN OUR TOP 12.
YEAH!
LET'S GO TO THE SAFETY OF OUR LEADERBOARD, SHALL WE?
NOW WE'VE GOT OUR DIRECTOR, SAM "D.W." GRIFFITH,
DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE CLAUDIA MOREL,
(high-pitched voice) WHOO-HOO!
AND, OF COURSE, DIDI WONG FROM HONG KONG.
ALSO MOVING ON, DEBBY "THE DIESEL" CHOP,
TREE HUGGER TORREY STREED,
OUR FEMALE FIREFIGHTER, THAT'S THERESA RIVERA,
DEADBEAT DAUGHTER MICHELLE HART,
AND LET'S NOT FORGET OUR VERY FIRST CONTESTANT OF THE DAY--
(man) WHOA.
AND WHEN WE COME BACK, HALVE THE FIELD AGAIN.
WE GO FROM 12 TO 6.
RIGHT.
WE'LL SEE A LOT MORE CONTESTANTS...
♪♪
WELCOME BACK TO THE COMEDY OF ERRORS
KNOWN AS "WIPEOUT."
JOHN AND JOHN WITH YOU FOR ALL THE FUN, AMERICA.
AFTER OUR QUALIFYING ROUND,
WE HAVE CUT THE CONTESTANTS IN HALF,
AND 12 ARE NOW MOVING ON.
AMONG THEM WE HAVE DIRECTOR SAM "D.W." GRIFFITH,
MAXIMUS' DAD MARKUS LINDLAHR,
DEADBEAT DAUGHTER MICHELLE HART...
AND, OF COURSE, THERE'S DIDI WONG FROM HONG KONG.
DIDI WONG FROM HONG KONG-- I LOVE SAYING THAT.
I LOVE SAYING THIS, JOHN.
UP NEXT, THE KING OF THE MOUNTAIN.
12 CONTESTANTS STANDING ON 10-FOOT-HIGH PEDESTALS
AS THE PLATFORM ARM CIRCLES AROUND AND AROUND.
THE FIRST SIX CONTESTANTS WHO CAN JUMP ON THE PLATFORM
AND MAKE THEIR WAY TO ONE OF THE SIX SPOTS
NEAR THE EDGE OF THE MOUNTAIN MOVE ON TO THE NEXT ROUND.
THE LARGE AND PAINFUL CATCH, HOWEVER, THEY HAVE TO AVOID
TWO GIANT CLUBS ROTATING IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION.
THE BEST PART THOUGH?
WHEN A CONTESTANT WIPES OUT, THEY HAVE TO TRY AGAIN
AND POSSIBLY WIPEOUT AGAIN.
ALL RIGHT. LET'S QUIT TALKING AND GO DOWN TO THE ACTION.
THERESA THE FIREFIGHTER SOUNDS THE SIREN.
NEW CITIZEN RASHEED LOOKS WORRIED.
IT'S OKAY. YOU'RE LEGAL NOW.
AND THE KING OF THE MOUNTAIN IS UNDERWAY.
TREE HUGGER TORREY LOOKS LIKE SHE'S COLD.
AAH! OH.
YOU CAN DO IT. YOU CAN DO IT.
OH! OH, NO.
OH.
WHOA! (laughs)
YEAH, THAT WAS FAST, HUH?
FIRST OUR TREE HUGGER LEARNED THE INCONVENIENT TRUTH
THAT GETTING CLUBBED IN THE FACE HURTS.
DIRECTOR SAM "D.W." GRIFFITH LEARNED...
(high-pitched voice) I'M THE KING OF THE MOUNTAIN!
(normal voice) HE'S NOT THE KING OF THE MOUNTAIN.
AND I LEARNED, IF THAT'S WONG, I DON'T WANNA BE RIGHT.
WHO KNEW OUR SHOW COULD BE SO EDUCATIONAL?
LET'S SEE WHAT MAXIMUS' DAD HAS LEARNED
AS HE GETS READY TO GO.
APPARENTLY HE'S LEARNED NOTHING.
DEADBEAT DAUGHTER SHOWS SOME INITIATIVE.
OH, GETS REJECTED, THOUGH, LIKE HER LAST JOB APPLICATION.
OH!
UP ON HER BIRKENSTOCKS-- OH!
INTO THE WATER TO RINSE OFF THE PATCHOULI OIL.
AND THE MOUNTAIN REMAINS WIDE-OPEN.
(roars)
UH, WHAT WAS THAT, JOHN?
THIS DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE HAS A DARK SECRET
(roars)
(roars)
I'M NOT SURE SCARING THE PLATFORM
YEAH, BUT NEITHER IS THE POINT AND DISCUSS,
THE CLAP AND BOUNCE
OR THE NEW LAZY AMERICAN.
AAH!
NOTHING LAZY ABOUT DEADBEAT DAUGHTER
AS SHE GOES FOR HER THIRD TRY AT THE MOUNTAIN.
(bleep) OH, GOD.
OH, MY GOD!
AND IT LOOKS LIKE SHE MIGHT BE...
NO WAY.
YES, WAY.
THE BAR TRIES TO SEND HER PACKING LIKE HER PARENTS,
BUT SHE HANGS ON.
YOU KNOW, ALL THAT RUNNING FROM RESPONSIBILITY
WELL, IF SHE CAN HANG ON NOW
UNTIL THOSE OTHER FIVE SPOTS ARE FILLED,
IS "THANKS FOR MUTTON" WEIMAN ASLEEP?
JUST PACING HIMSELF. UNDER THE PLATFORM NOW,
AND THANKS FOR MUTTON DRAGS THOSE GLORIOUS FACIAL BOOKENDS
TO THE MOUNTAIN AND CLAIMS THE SECOND SPOT.
(snoring)
AND JUST LIKE THAT,
TWO CONTESTANTS HAVE MADE IT TO THE MOUNTAIN.
DEBBY THE DIESEL MAKES IT ON.
IT LOOKS LIKE THE CONTESTANTS, JOHN,
AH!
BABY STEPS, JOHN. BABY STEPS.
WELL, WITH FOUR SPOTS LEFT, AT LEAST SOME OF THE CONTESTANTS
DIDI WONG TRIES HER SHOT AT IT.
SHE MAKES IT ON AND GETS HER BUTT UNDER THE BAR.
FEMALE FIREFIGHTER THERESA MAKES IT ONTO THE PLATFORM,
AND DIDI WONG MAKES IT TO THE MOUNTAIN.
(grunts)
AND NOW OUR DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE IS ON THAT PLATFORM
LIKE IT'S HER TEENAGE GARDENER,
AND SHE PUTS THE HEAT ON OUR FEMALE FIREFIGHTER,
(Theresa) WOO-WOO-WOO!
OKAY, WE GET IT. YOU'RE A FIREFIGHTER.
WELL, WE HAVE TWO OPENINGS LEFT
AS DIRECTOR SAM "D.W." GRIFFITH PUTS HIMSELF INTO THE SCENE.
AND THE DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE DIVES ONTO THE MOUNTAIN.
SHE GRABS THE FIFTH POSITION.
THAT LEAVES, JOHN, ONE SPOT REMAINING.
WILL FILM DIRECTOR SAM MAKE IT TO THE MIDDLE
AND BE ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE
NOT IF DEBBY THE DIESEL HAS ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT.
SAM'S UP. STILL TRYING TO REACH THE FINAL RED CIRCLE.
OH.
TRYING TO EDGE HIM OUT FOR THAT LAST SPOT.
A WRESTLING MATCH FOR THAT FINAL POSITION.
IN FACT, JOHNNY, THAT'S FANTASTIC.
THE DIESEL TRYING TO EDIT DIRECTOR SAM OUT OF THE SCENE.
(tape rewinds)
RIGHT HERE, YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE
THAT SAM "D.W." GRIFFITH GOT TWO FEET IN THE CIRCLE
BEFORE DEBBY MANAGED TO DIESEL HIM OUT OF THE WAY.
TAPE NEVER LIES,
SO WE HAVE OUR FINAL SIX CONTESTANTS.
UH, MARKUS.
NO, MARKUS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IT'S OVER, MAN.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE MOVING ON. SORRY, MAX.
BUT THE SIX CONTESTANTS WHO ARE MOVING ON
INCLUDE DEADBEAT DAUGHTER MICHELLE,
THANKS FOR MUTTON WEIMAN, DIDI WONG FROM HONG KONG,
FEMALE FIREFIGHTER THERESA, OUR DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE CLAUDIA
AND DIRECTOR SAM "D.W." GRIFFITH.
BUT BEFORE THEY HAVE A SHOT
AT THE WIPEOUT ZONE AND 50 GRAND,
OH! AAH!
♪♪
WE ARE BACK ON "WIPEOUT," AND THE GOOD NEWS IS, JOHNNY,
THE RAIN'S LETTING UP.
YEAH, BUT THE BETTER NEWS IS THAT DOESN'T MEAN
OUR SIX CONTESTANTS ARE GONNA STAY DRY.
SPEAKING OF THOSE FINAL SIX, HERE THEY ARE--
DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE CLAUDIA MOREL,
DEADBEAT DAUGHTER MICHELLE HART,
DIRECTOR SAM "D.W." GRIFFITH,
OUR FEMALE FIREFIGHTER THERESA RIVERA,
PETER "THANKS FOR MUTTON" WEIMAN...
AND...
(both) DIDI WONG FROM HONG KONG.
OH, I LOVE THAT, JOHN.
INDEED. AND OF THOSE SIX,
JUST FOUR WILL MOVE ON TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE
AND GET A SHOT AT OUR $50,000 PRIZE.
BUT STANDING IN THEIR WAY IS THE DIZZY DUMMY 2.0.
HERE'S HOW IT WORKS--
CONTESTANTS ARE STRAPPED TO THE DIZZY DUMMY
UNTIL THEY'RE GOOD AND DIZZY, THEN THEY'LL HAVE TO
GET THROUGH THE SPINNER,
WHERE CONTESTANTS WILL HAVE TO CLIMB THROUGH THIS DOOR
TO THE OTHER SIDE BEFORE THEY CAN MOVE ON.
NOW IT'S ON TO THE TIPPY TABLE.
THE FIRST PERSON TO THE PLATFORM MOVES ON.
THE REMAINING FIVE GET BACK INTO THE DIZZY DUMMY
AND DO THE BARREL RUN.
WHEN THAT'S DONE, YOU GUESSED IT AND YOU LOVE IT,
ALL RIGHT, THE CONTESTANTS ARE STRAPPED IN.
THIS IS ROUND ONE.
WHOO!
(woman screams)
DEADBEAT STICKING HER TONGUE OUT.
LET'S HOPE THAT'S ALL THAT COMES OUT.
DIDI WONG TRYING NOT TO GET TOO DUMB.
UNFORTUNATELY FOR MUTTONCHOPS, HE'S ALREADY THERE.
AND THEY'RE OFF.
WAY OFF, ESPECIALLY OUR DEADBEAT.
SHE'S LOST. THEY'RE ALL MOVING, JOHN.
YEAH, A SYNCHRONIZED FALLING TEAM.
BUT LOOK WHO'S COMING TO SPINNER--
DIRECTOR SAM THROUGH THE DOOR ON HIS FIRST TAKE.
HE'LL BE HEADING ON TO THE TIPPY TABLES,
DIDI WONG'S THROUGH, AND BIG SURPRISE--
OUR DIRECTOR CALLING "ACTION"
AS HE'S ON THE FIRST TIPPY TABLE.
OUR DIRECTOR'S GOT A GREEN LIGHT.
HE IS MOVING AND... REENACTING A SCENE FROM "SPLASH."
WELL, HE'S DOING A SEQUEL FOR SURE,
BECAUSE NOW HE HAS TO SWIM BACK.
DIDI WONG LEAPS AND ONTO THE NEXT TIPPY TABLE.
AAH!
SHE GETS HOSED. BACK TO THE STATION FOR HER, JOHN.
THE DIRECTOR'S STAGING A COMEBACK.
DIDI WONG STILL GOING STRONG.
OUR DEADBEAT DAUGHTER IS IN THE WATER.
MUTTONCHOP'S UNSTABLE ON THE TIPPY TABLE,
CAUSING OUR HOUSEWIFE CLAUDIA TO FALL... IA.
MUTTONCHOP'S NOW ON AND... OFF.
DIDI IS STILL HANGING ON.
JOHN, I THINK SHE'S WAITING FOR SOMEBODY TO BALANCE OUT
AND OUR FIREFIGHTER RESPONDS TO THE CALL.
BUT SHE MAKES THE TIPPY TABLE TIP,
OUR FIREFIGHTER IS RIGHT THERE.
ONE LAST HUGE JUMP FOR DIDI.
YEAH!
DIDI WONG FROM HONG KONG WILL BE OUR FIRST CONTESTANT
I DID IT!
(Didi) WHOO!
ON TO OUR NEXT ROUND--
OUR CONTESTANTS WILL BE HEADED TO THE BARRELS.
FIRST ONE ACROSS--A DATE WITH THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
AND OUR DIRECTOR NOT LOOKING LIKE THE BEST BOY FOR THE JOB.
(air horn blows)
HERE WE GO. THIS IS ROUND TWO.
AND FINALLY SHOWING SOME INITIATIVE IS OUR DEADBEAT.
SHE FINDS THE SPINNER RIGHT AWAY THIS TIME...
AAH!
OUR DIRECTOR AGAIN HANDLING THE SPINNER.
HE'LL BE THE FIRST ONE THROUGH,
SAM, OUR DIRECTOR, ON HIS WAY DOWN.
SAM ON TO THE BARRELS.
(grunts)
(laughs) OW.
(John A.) MUTTONCHOPS COMING UP WITH A FLOP OF HIS OWN.
THE DEADBEAT AND THE DIRECTOR JUMP. SHE'S DOWN.
(grunts)
OUR DIRECTOR ON TO THE NEXT BARREL,
THAT LEAVES OUR FIREFIGHTER ALONE IN THE LEAD.
ON HER TAIL, THOUGH, IS DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE CLAUDIA.
OH!
SHE GETS DOUSED.
THAT OPENS THINGS UP FOR OUR HOUSEWIFE.
OUR DIRECTOR'S BACK IN ACTION.
AND UP IN FRONT, SHE'S DOING THE DISHES.
OUR DIRECTOR JUMPING, BUT HE'S DOWN.
(grunts)
NO! SHE'S OUR SECOND CONTESTANT
AND OUR SECOND WOMAN MOVING ON TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
AND SHE DID IT WITH A LITTLE MOVE
(seal barks)
ALL RIGHT, THIS IS ROUND THREE,
AND THEY'RE HEADING BACK TO THE TIPPY TABLE.
YEAH, I KNOW.
(air horn blows)
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. THAT'S NOT FUN.
MUTTONCHOPS-- JUST LOOKING TO HIBERNATE.
THE FIREFIGHTER, SHE'S ON. THERE'S THE DEADBEAT.
WAIT, WHERE'S THE DIRECTOR?
OH, HERE COMES QUEASY RIDER.
OUR LADIES, THOUGH, THROUGH THE DOOR AND MOVING ON.
YOU KNOW, I THINK I ACTUALLY SAW HIM IN A MOVIE ONCE--
"WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S." HE PLAYED BERNIE.
OUR TWO LADIES OBVIOUSLY NOT AS QUEASY.
OH!
MUTTONCHOPS LANDING FACE FIRST
OUR DEADBEAT MAKING A MOVE.
YEAH, NOW OUR DEADBEAT'S DEAD IN THE WATER.
I GET IT.
MUTTONCHOPS NOW CATCHING UP WITH OUR FIREFIGHTER.
AAH!
DEADBEAT'S UP AND BACK IN THE RACE.
MUTTONCHOP NOW OUT IN FRONT, AND HERE COMES THE FIREFIGHTER.
MAN, THIS IS EXCITING...
FOR... MOST OF US.
A VERY TIGHT RACE.
ONE LAST JUMP FOR EITHER OF 'EM,
OH, I THINK HE'S GONNA GO FOR IT.
(laughs) OH, NO!
I DON'T THINK HE WAS GOING FOR THAT.
AAH!
ALTHOUGH MAYBE HE WAS GOING FOR ANOTHER NAP.
(snoring)
OH, EITHER WAY, IT LEAVES OUR FIREFIGHTER CLEAR
WITH ONE JUMP TO MAKE.
BUT SHE CAN'T SEEM TO FIND HER FOOTING HERE.
(Jill gasps) OH, MY GOD. OH!
AND SHE LEAPS. GOT IT!
THE THIRD WOMAN MOVING ON TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
ONE MORE WOMAN ACROSS,
WE'LL HAVE OUR FIRST ALL-FEMALE WIPEOUT ZONE.
THE SPINNING WAS A LITTLE MUCH THAT TIME,
SAM, ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU'RE QUITTING?
UH, YEAH, IT LOOKS THAT WAY.
DON'T GET SICK ON ME.
OKAY.
(John H.) SO I GUESS WE'LL ROLL CREDITS
ON SAM THE DIRECTOR'S DAY,
WHICH LEAVES US WITH A BATTLE OF THE SEXES.
OR WILL SHE GIVE MUTTON THE CHOP
AND JOIN OUR OTHER THREE LADIES
(air horn blows)
TIME TO FIND OUT. MUTTONCHOP OUTTA THAT GATE FIRST.
COME ON, THERESA! GET IT!
SHE'S THROUGH THE DOOR, DOES A LITTLE STOP, DROP AND ROLL.
WE GET IT. YOU'RE A FIREFIGHTER.
AND OUR NARCOLEPTIC'S GETTING SOME REM SLEEP.
OUR FIREFIGHTER SMOTHERING THE FIRST BARREL.
THERESA, GET UP THERE. COME ON.
FIREFIGHTER'S DOWN.
THAT OPENS THINGS UP FOR MUTTONCHOP.
WHO GRACEFULLY... PLOPS ONTO THE NEXT BARREL.
COME ON, THERESA!
SHE VAULTS AHEAD, AND THEY ARE NOW HELMET TO HELMET.
MUTTONCHOP'S NOW... BARREL TO BELLY.
YOU CAN'T GET MUCH CLOSER THAN THIS.
(John H.) YOU'RE TELLING ME, JILL.
A SLIP HERE COULD COST THEM $50,000.
MUTTONCHOP NEEDS TO MATCH HER.
OH, WOW.
MUTTONCHOPS COULDN'T HOLD ON
BY THE HAIR OF HIS CHINNY-CHIN-CHIN.
THAT'S A LOT OF HAIR.
FIREFIGHTER ON TO THE NEXT BARREL.
MUTTONCHOP'S RACING BACK.
OUR FIREFIGHTER IS ONE JUMP AWAY
FROM MAKING IT AN ALL-FEMALE WIPEOUT ZONE,
THE OTHER LADIES LOOKING ON.
(woman) GO, THERESA!
YES! SHE MADE IT.
POOR PETER.
(women cheering)
SO IT'S LADIES ONLY MOVING ON.
FINALLY, A WIPEOUT ZONE WITH SOME STYLE AND GRACE.
SO JOINING OUR FIREFIGHTER,
DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE CLAUDIA MOREL,
DEADBEAT DAUGHTER MICHELLE HART...
AND SING IT WITH US...
(both) DIDI WONG FROM HONG KONG.
STICK AROUND, BECAUSE THESE FOUR INTREPID SOULS
WILL FACE DOWN THE WIPEOUT ZONE NEXT.
AND ONE OF THEM WILL WALK AWAY WITH $50,000.
AAH!
WELCOME BACK TO LADIES NIGHT HERE ON "WIPEOUT."
THAT'S RIGHT.
WE HAVE AN ALL-FEMALE WIPEOUT ZONE TONIGHT.
BUT BEFORE ONE LUCKY GIRL CAN WALK AWAY WITH 50 GRAND,
THEY ALL MUST FACE THE CHALLENGES
PRESENTED BY THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
IT STARTS WITH THE AQUA LAUNCH.
CONTESTANTS WILL HAVE TO ATTEMPT TO CONTROL THEIR LAUNCH
INTO THE ZONE WHILE ENDURING A TORRENT OF WATER.
THEN THEY'LL HAVE TO MAKE THEIR WAY UP THE RAGING RAPIDS
AND AVOID BEING WASHED AWAY BY A 1,000-GALLON TIDAL WAVE.
NEXT UP,
IT'S THE CRAZY SWEEPER, WHERE CONTESTANTS WILL HAVE TO
GET ACROSS THESE PEDESTALS TO THE OTHER SIDE
AND THEN THE FINAL OBSTACLE--
CONTESTANTS WILL HAVE TO MAKE THEIR WAY TO THE FINISH
ACROSS THESE BUMPER TURNTABLES.
FOUR CONTESTANTS REMAIN,
AND THE ONE WITH THE BEST TIME GOES HOME $50,000 RICHER.
UP FIRST
IS OUR DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE CLAUDIA MOREL.
LET'S SEE HOW SHE GOT TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
♪♪
DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE CLAUDIA
GAVE OUR QUALIFYING ROUND A TOUCH OF CLASS.
THEN SHE CONQUERED THE KING OF THE MOUNTAIN
AND BELLY FLOPPED HER WAY THROUGH THE DIZZY DUMMY
TO SEAL HER SPOT IN THE FINAL FOUR.
SO OUR ALL-FEMALE WIPEOUT ZONE
IS ABOUT TO BEGIN WITH THIS ONE--
OUR STAY-AT-HOME MOM FROM RANCHO CUCAMONGA
(air horn blows)
THE HORN SOUNDS, AND DOWN SHE GOES.
WOW, SHE WENT FLYING OFF THE AQUA LAUNCH.
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
AAH!
EXCELLENT DISTANCE BECAUSE THE OBJECT IS TO LAUNCH YOURSELF
AAH!
TO OUR NEXT OBSTACLE, THE RAGING RAPIDS.
AND JUST GETTING UP ON THIS OBSTACLE CAN BE AN OBSTACLE.
RIGHT. HERE THEY NEED TO FIGHT THEIR WAY UP THIS RAMP
WHILE BEING POUNDED BY THESE RAPIDS.
AND DON'T FORGET, THERE IS A 1,000-GALLON TIDAL WAVE
COMING THEIR WAY, AND HERE COMES THE RAIN AGAIN.
WHOO! STEADY AS SHE GOES, THOUGH.
YEAH, THE DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE DESPERATELY HOLDING ON.
UNBELIEVABLE. AVOIDS THE WIPEOUT,
OH, WITHOUT A DOUBT.
AND AS SHE MAKES IT TO THE TOP OF THE RAPIDS, LOOK AT HER.
THAT CONSTANT GUSH OF WATER WEARING HER DOWN.
CLAUDIA PAUSING JUST AN EXTRA MOMENT,
MAYBE TO CATCH HER BREATH.
SHE MANAGES TO COLLECT HERSELF,
AND NOW SHE'S ON TO THE CRAZY SWEEPER.
AND THERE SHE GOES.
AAH!
OH-HO!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
IT'S A VERY TIME-CONSUMING PROCESS
TO SWIM ALL THE WAY BACK, CLIMB UP THAT LADDER.
JUST LOOK AT HER, JOHN. SHE IS WIPED OUT.
FATIGUE IS LITERALLY WRITTEN ALL OVER HER FACE.
BUT THERE SHE GOES FOR HER SECOND ATTEMPT.
AND THE SWEEPER ARM IS RIGHT ON HER TAIL.
NO.
I GOTTA TELL YOU,
THE WIPEOUT ZONE IS NOT PULLING ANY PUNCHES
ON CLAUDIA MOREL TONIGHT.
NOW SHE'S OFF ON THAT THIRD ATTEMPT.
PAUSING TO LET THE SWEEPER ARM PASS BY.
IT COULD BE SOUND STRATEGY RIGHT HERE.
ALSO ALLOWS HER TIME TO TAKE ANOTHER BREATH, WHICH IS GOOD.
EITHER WAY--OH, SEE.
SHE'S FOUND THAT SOFT SPOT IN THE CRAZY SWEEPER.
AAH!
AND NOW SHE'S MADE IT.
YES!
YES, INDEED,
(grunts)
AND SHE'S ONTO THE FIRST TABLE WITH VERY LITTLE TROUBLE.
SLOW TO GET UP. LET'S SEE HOW SHE DOES.
♪♪
OH!
OOH. THAT IS A HARD HIT. INTO THE WATER SHE GOES AGAIN.
IT'S JUST ANOTHER LONG SWIM BACK,
COME ON.
SHE'S UP AGAIN. A LOOK OF DESPERATION ON OUR HOUSEWIFE.
APPROACHING THE 9-MINUTE MARK NOW.
LOOKING TO GET THROUGH THIS COURSE
AND SET THE TIME TO BEAT.
OOH! ANOTHER CRUSHING BLOW, JOHN.
I QUIT!
DID I HEAR "I QUIT"?
SHE QUIT? CLAUDIA HAS REMOVED HERSELF FROM THE COMPETITION.
JOHN, I GOTTA TELL YOU, I'M SHOCKED.
AN EXHAUSTED CLAUDIA MOREL HAS QUIT THE COMPETITION.
SO IT'S UP TO THIS WOMAN, MICHELLE HART,
LET'S SEE HOW SHE GOT TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
DEADBEAT DAUGHTER MICHELLE
HAS BEEN MAKING HER PARENTS PROUD ALL DAY LONG.
OH!
OH, MY GOD.
WHEN SHE BREEZED THROUGH OUR NEXT CHALLENGE.
AND WHEN SHE BLAZED PAST OUR FEMALE FIREFIGHTER
TO CLAIM HER SPOT IN THE WIPEOUT ZONE,
WE KNEW MICHELLE WOULD BE HERE TILL THE END.
OKAY, OUR 29-YEAR-OLD COMPETITOR
TAKES HER PLACE AT THE TOP OF THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
$50,000 ON THE LINE.
THERE'S THE HORN, AND OFF SHE SLIDES.
AAH!
AND HURLED INTO THE ICY WATERS OF THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
YEAH, SHE PUT HERSELF IN GREAT POSITION.
AND NOW SHE'S GOTTA MAKE HER WAY
(grunts)
NOW SHE'S UP AND THE REAL WORK BEGINS.
REMEMBER, CLAUDIA MOREL WITHSTOOD THE WAVE.
(whimpers)
AND HERE IT COMES!
AND SHE IS SWEPT AWAY.
TAKE A LOOK AT THAT WALL OF WATER.
SECOND TRIP UP THE RAMP NOW.
NO, SHE'S GOT A STRAINED LOOK ON HER FACE
WITH LOTS MORE WIPEOUT ZONE TO GO.
YEAH, OUR DEADBEAT DAUGHTER
STRUGGLING TO MAKE HER WAY UP THE RAPIDS.
BET SHE WISHES SHE SPENT
A LITTLE LESS TIME IN HER PARENTS' BASEMENT.
WELL, SHE'S FINALLY NOW CONQUERED THE RAGING RAPIDS.
YEAH, AND THAT IS AN APTLY NAMED OBSTACLE, JOHN--
CRAZY DIFFICULT.
OH! AH! AAH!
OH, AND SHE'S LOST HER FOOTING.
JUST THE MERE THREAT OF THE SWEEPER ARM
AH! AAH!
YEAH, THAT JUST LOOKS SLOPPY. TAKE ANOTHER LOOK AT THIS.
MM. SELF-TACKLIZATION--
(grunts)
AND SHE'S OFF AGAIN. SWEEPER ARM GIVING CHASE.
(grunts)
BUT SHE'S MADE IT ONTO THE PILLARS.
AAH!
OH, NO!
AAH!
AAH!
HER THIRD ATTEMPT...
AND SHE'S RUNNING.
THE SWEEPER ARM GAINING GROUND ON HER.
IT'S GONNA BE TIGHT.
♪♪
WHOA!
THE CRAZY SWEEPER CONQUERED.
NOW, JOHN, WE'VE--WE'VE SEEN THAT FACE BEFORE
ON THE FACE OF THE PREVIOUS CONTESTANT
ON THE BUMPER TURNTABLE.
THIS IS THE OBSTACLE THAT ENDED CLAUDIA MOREL'S DAY.
WE'LL SEE IF MICHELLE CAN DO IT ANY BETTER.
HOLDING ON TO THAT PLATFORM FOR DEAR LIFE.
AAH!
NO, AND AS YOU CAN SEE THERE, SHE IS BACK IN THE WATER.
AAH!
ANOTHER LOOK AT THE FALL.
JUST RICOCHETING OFF THAT PLATFORM.
A DIFFICULT WIPEOUT ZONE TO BE SURE.
(grunts)
OR PERHAPS IT'S WILL SHE FINISH?
YEAH, BETTER QUESTION.
(grunts)
THERE IS ONLY ONE TURNTABLE LEFT
IN THIS EXHAUSTING WIPEOUT ZONE.
ALL SHE HAS TO DO IS JUMP TO THAT LAST BUMPER TURNTABLE,
AND SHE STICKS THAT LANDING.
PLANT BOTH FEET, THE CLOCK WILL STOP.
AND THE FINAL TIME-- 17 MINUTES, 2 SECONDS.
LOOKS LIKE SHE'S STILL GOT...
A LITTLE BIT OF ENERGY LEFT TO RIP IT, JOHN.
MM-HMM. BUT LET'S SEE IF HER TIME WILL HOLD UP
AGAINST OUR FIERCE FIREFIGHTER AND DIDI WONG FROM HONG KONG
WHEN WE RETURN.
♪♪
WELCOME BACK TO "WIPEOUT," WHERE WE ARE IN THE SECOND HALF
OF OUR ALL-FEMALE WIPEOUT ZONE.
DEADBEAT DAUGHTER MICHELLE HART
CURRENTLY IN FIRST PLACE.
THERESA RIVERA, OUR FEMALE FIREFIGHTER,
IS ON DECK AND DOWN WITH JILL.
JILL.
OKAY, THANKS, GUYS. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS?
I'M JUST GONNA TAKE ONE THING AT A TIME
(laughs)
GOOD LUCK. GO GET 'EM. BACK TO YOU, GUYS.
(John H.) THERESA'S STRONG PERFORMANCE IN THE QUALIFIER
MADE A STRONG IMPRESSION ON EVERYBODY.
SHE MADE IT THROUGH THE KING OF THE MOUNTAIN
AND THEN BARELY BEAT OUT HER MUTTONCHOPPED COMPETITION
TO CLAIM THE FINAL SPOT IN OUR ALL-FEMALE WIPEOUT ZONE.
(cheering)
AND THERE SHE SITS, OUR FIERCE FEMALE FIREFIGHTER,
WAITING TO SET FIRE TO THIS COURSE.
SEEMS IRRESPONSIBLE FOR A FIREFIGHTER, JOHN.
THERE'S THE ALARM SOUND.
PLUNGING INTO THAT BIG-MONEY POOL
IN THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
I HURT MY ANKLE.
UH-OH.
APPEARS TO HAVE INJURED AN ANKLE OR FOOT.
THE SAFETY TEAM COMING OUT TO GIVE HER AID.
THAT SIGNIFIES THE END OF HER RUN
HERE ON "WIPEOUT" TODAY.
THIS IS A SPORTING COMPETITION,
AND WE HAVE TO MAKE SURE EVERYBODY IS SAFE.
OUR SAFETY TEAM HAS CALLED IT,
WHICH MEANS THERESA WILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO CONTINUE.
YEAH, THAT'S TOO BAD.
SHE WAS A VERY FIERCE COMPETITOR,
AND I'M SURE SHE'S DISAPPOINTED.
SO AS WE SAY GOOD-BYE TO OUR FEMALE FIREFIGHTER,
THERE IS ONLY ONE CONTESTANT REMAINING--
DIDI WONG FROM HONG KONG.
DIDI WONG FROM HONG KONG NEVER LET THE PRESSURE
"WIPEOUT"!
AAH!
SHE ACED THE KING OF THE MOUNTAIN
AND RACED ACROSS THE TIPPY TABLES TO BECOME
YES!
SO DIDI WONG, OUR FINAL CONTESTANT,
SITS ATOP THE AQUA LAUNCH,
WHILE DEADBEAT DAUGHTER MICHELLE HART
IS THE ONLY THING THAT STANDS BETWEEN HER AND $50,000.
♪♪
THERE'S OUR HORN, AND SHE IS OFF,
OH! (laughs)
AH! BIT OF A BUMP THERE
OUTSTANDING!
DIDI WONG ATTACKING THIS COURSE WITH RECKLESS ABANDON,
HEADFIRST.
NOW AT THE BOTTOM OF THE RAGING RAPIDS.
DIDI WONG STRUGGLING JUST TO GET ON THIS OBSTACLE.
♪♪
GOTTA LOVE HER ATTITUDE,
BUT LET'S SEE IF SHE CAN SURVIVE THE BLAST OF WATER
THAT'S COMING HER WAY RIGHT NOW.
OH! (laughs)
NO SHOT!
SHE CANNOT HOLD OUT AND WASHED BACK DOWN THE RAMP.
THAT'S GONNA COST HER A LOT OF TIME.
WELL, THAT IS A LOT OF WHITE WATER
FOR A LITTLE GIRL, JOHN.
SHE'S BACK ON COURSE.
THOSE SECONDS, THOUGH, CONTINUE TO ADD UP.
LOOKS A LITTLE MORE WEATHERED THAN BEFORE.
BUT GIVES US YET ANOTHER THUMBS-UP. SHE'S OFF AGAIN.
REALLY BOOKING IT UP THE RAGING RAPIDS THIS TIME,
WHICH SHOULD HELP HER OUT TO RECOVER SOME OF THAT LOST TIME
IF SHE CAN STAY ON HER FEET.
AND A THIRD THUMBS-UP.
YOU GOTTA LOVE THIS GIRL'S ATTITUDE. SHE HAS THREE THUMBS!
OR MAYBE SHE'S JUST HAPPY
BECAUSE SHE KNOWS SHE STILL HAS ALMOST 13 WHOLE MINUTES
TO COMPLETE THE OTHER HALF OF THIS COURSE.
AND SHE'S MAKING A RUN FOR IT.
AAH!
OH! AND A BRUTAL WIPEOUT.
CHECK THE REPLAY-- SHE GOES FOR IT...
BUT JUST NO MATCH FOR THAT POWERFUL SWEEPER ARM.
SORT OF BLINDSIDED THERE.
LET'S SEE IF IT CHANGES HER STRATEGY.
LOOKS LIKE SHE'S COUNTING UP THE STEPS.
LET'S SEE IF IT PAYS OFF FOR HER.
MAKES HER BREAK.
OH, STRATEGICALLY PAUSING THERE,
AND THEN PICKING THE PACE BACK UP.
LOOKS LIKE SHE'S FOUND THAT PERFECT LITTLE WINDOW.
WILL SHE MAKE IT?
MM. OH.
OH!
OH, SHE IS IN SAFE. EXCELLENT WORK THERE.
NOW SHE HAS TO CONTEND WITH OUR FINAL OBSTACLE--
THE BUMPER TURNTABLE.
THE TIME TO BEAT STILL 17:02.
YEAH, SO SHE WOULD SEEM TO BE IN GREAT SHAPE
FOR THIS FINAL OBSTACLE, JOHN.
USING A SLOW, METHODICAL APPROACH.
YOU GOT TIME TO DO IT RIGHT NOW.
(grunts)
OH! AND SHE SHORTS HER JUMP ONTO THAT TURNTABLE
AND GETS DUMPED INTO THE DRINK.
(grunts)
EATING INTO HER VALUABLE LEAD RIGHT THERE.
NOW SHE IS BACK UP
FOR HER SECOND ATTEMPT AT THE BUMPER TURNTABLES.
SHE NEEDS TO BE FLAWLESS HERE.
A WIPEOUT COULD RUIN HER CHANCES AT WINNING THE $50,000.
♪♪
OH! AND SHE REBOUNDS RIGHT INTO THE WATER.
THAT WIPEOUT COULD NOT HAVE COME
AT A WORSE TIME FOR DIDI WONG.
AND NOW AFTER BURNING UP ALMOST SEVEN MINUTES,
DIDI HAS ONLY 20 SECONDS
TO MAKE IT THROUGH ALL THE TURNTABLES.
MICHELLE THE DEADBEAT DAUGHTER, CURRENTLY IN THE LEAD,
CAN'T EVEN BRING HERSELF TO WATCH, SHE'S SO NERVOUS.
ONTO THAT SECOND TURNTABLE. THIS IS IT.
IT ALL COMES DOWN TO ONE LAST JUMP. TEN SECONDS LEFT.
SHE IS ONE JUMP AWAY FROM $50,000. OH!
OOH! SHE DOESN'T DO IT!
OOH!
MM.
AND THAT IS IT.
MICHELLE HART IS THE NEW "WIPEOUT" CHAMPION.
THE WINNER OF "WIPEOUT" RIGHT HERE--MICHELLE HART.
D'OH! THROW UP.
SHE'S A DEADBEAT NO MORE, JOHNNY. FLUSH WITH CASH NOW.
YEAH, AND WITH NO RENT TO PAY, I BET SHE'LL BE
TEARING IT UP IN VEGAS WITH HER FRIENDS IN NO TIME.
WELL, THAT'LL DO IT FOR US, BUT PLEASE JOIN US NEXT WEEK,
AS ALWAYS, WHEN WE HAVE 24 NEW CONTESTANTS
AND SOME CRAZY NEW OBSTACLES.
BUT UNTIL THEN, AMERICA. I'M JOHN ANDERSON.
FOR OUR COLLEAGUE JILL WAGNER, I'M JOHN HENSON,
SAYING GOOD NIGHT AND BIG BALLS.
WHOO!
AAH!
AAH! (cackles)
AAH!
(speaks indistinctly)
♪♪
WAH!
(cheering)
OH!
DANG!
♪♪
YEAH!
♪♪
WHOA!