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NARRATOR [OVER TV]: Join us next week
for another intergalactic adventure on:
- Vlador's Quest.
- Vlador's Quest.
[THUNDER CRASHES]
[STATIC ON TV]
Blasted storm.
[ZEKE HUMMING]
[BEEPING]
We've got a live one here.
[GRUNTING]
[CLANGS]
Huh?
[GASPS]
Log entry 31 B/12.
Uncovered alien artifact.
Similar to Thorian mind orb
from episode 21 of Vlador's Quest.
Preceding back to diner I mean, lab.
Where I will conduct in-depth analysis.
Yes!
[THUNDER CRACKS]
Contact.
[GRUNTING]
DATA LOG:
Sentient data log.
[MUTTERING]
This one's gonna be close, boys.
Finally, a challenge.
Oh, sorry, were we racing?
Oh, man.
[CAR HORN HONKING]
Whoa!
[TIRES SCREECHING]
Zeke, have you lost your lug nuts?
What's the deal?
I know the truth
about every single one of you.
[SIGHS]
Hey, Sherm, do we need this part?
That's the break, Spinner.
Hmm.
VERT: Guys, we've got company.
- Uh-oh.
- Yeah, darn right.
- Zeke, no.
- Wait.
AGURA: Hey.
[ZEKE CACKLES]
SHERMAN: Huh?
ZEKE: Triple duranium crystal plating.
An obvious alien alloy.
[ZEKE CLEARS THROAT]
- Zeke, let
- Fancy watch from Japan, huh?
I think not.
[CHUCKLES]
And these,
Sentient signs for leader, scout, hunter.
Heh, heh.
What did you just say?
But if you kids are really in cahoots
with the aliens
you'd need an underground base.
[LAUGHS]
Underground base?
No, nothing like that around here.
Yeah, I don't know
what you're talking about, Zeke.
Uh, the toilet is clogged
in our secret underground base.
[ALL GROAN]
Nice one, Stanford.
- This is bad.
- Very bad.
ZEKE: Cover me in batter
and dunk me in a deep fryer.
Crystal-based nanotech.
Greetings.
I am Sage.
Oh
[GASPS]
[ZEKE GASPS]
Hmm.
What is this thing, Sage?
A Sentient data log.
When my homeworld was overrun
by the Sark and Vandals
the council of five protected the
combined knowledge of our civilization by
Downloading it into data logs and
launching them throughout the multiverse.
The hope was survivors
would collect and bring them
to a safe zone so we could rebuild.
The world must know of this.
No, we don't need the government
meddling with our mission.
Knowing them, they'll just mess things up
and let the aliens in.
Oh, you're right about that.
Hmm.
Zeke, how do you know all this stuff?
It all kind of happened
after I got struck by lightning.
It must have fused the data inside this log
with Zeke's mind.
Well, let's get the data out of his mind
and find this safe zone.
Whoa, now, you ain't probing my mind.
You wanna get to the safe zone,
I'll take you there.
You know the coordinates?
Sure do.
Eh! Sure do.
Sure do.
Eh!
- Sure do.
- This is getting weird, people.
The human brain is not equipped for the
massive amount of data within these logs.
Meaning the information in Zeke's head
is probably unstable.
And could be wiped out at any moment.
A sound hypothesis.
Then we'd better use Zeke's knowledge
before that happens.
Sure do.
Argh!
BOTH:
I sense a stormshock approaching.
Who wants to hit a battlezone?
Initiating system protocol.
Constraining nulls after vectors.
Cyclotron, cycling.
Data log readings at maximum.
Let's roll, Battle Force 6.
Battle Force 6?
Actually, it's still five, I just quit.
Vert, I'm not sure taking Zeke into the zone
is a good idea.
If he can lead us to more Sentient tech
or even survivors
then it's a chance we have to take.
Okay, guys, let's burn some rubber.
What's the deal with the data log?
It syncs with a stormshock portal
to take us to the right battlezone.
What about our enemies?
Will they have access to the zone too?
Here's hoping.
[GASPS]
[SQUEELS]
Noob.
This is just like episodes 34, 51 and 62
of Vlador's Quest
all smooshed together.
You watch Vlador's Quest too?
You are aware that Vlador's Quest was
based on the far superior British show
with the same name?
Hey, Zeke, where to now?
Yeah, we wanna get a jump-start
on any enemies in this zone.
[COMPUTER BEEPING]
Too late, Sark at 12 o'clock.
Battle Force 5, you know the drill.
Zeke, we'll handle the rough stuff.
You stay out
ZEKE:
Down with the Sark empire!
[GROANS]
Timber!
Everyone scatter.
[AGURA SCREAMS]
No, Agura.
[GASPS]
[GROANS]
Spinner, Sherman,
get Agura out of there.
Let's roll.
Stanford, Zoom,
time to wreck some Sark.
Wrecking Sark is how I relax.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
I can help.
No, thanks, you've done enough.
Yeah, we got them.
Mine.
ZOOM:
Whoo-hoo!
[SPINNER GRUNTING]
Yee-haw!
A Sentient data pod.
Zurk, retrieve it.
They're going for the data log.
Zeke, hang tight, we'll save you.
[AGURA GRUNTS]
Vlador faced just such a predicament
in episode 42 of
Vlador's Quest, yeah, yeah.
He was able to divert the energy
from his ship.
And short-circuit the attacking robots.
With an EMP blast.
[SCREAMS]
ZEMERIK:
Zug, system damaged.
Must retreat and repair.
Electromagnetic pulse.
Whoo! Keep hitting them with that
and we're golden.
It can do it once every four hours.
And only if you reroute the power
through the mini hadron colliders.
That EMP blast was pretty impressive.
I think I'm getting a hang
of this hero stuff.
AGURA:
Uh, Vert, go to channel four.
We need to send him back now.
Before he drops an obelisk
on someone else.
He didn't mean it, Agura.
Is this the Sentient safe zone?
Scanning memory bank.
Scanning, scanning.
Scan coming, unload data.
[GASPS]
[CAR HORN HONKS]
Hey, buddy, are you all right?
I'm not sure
I'm interpreting the data correctly
but we need to head into an interzone.
A zone within a zone?
- Like in episode 33 of Vlador's Quest.
SHERMAN: Episode 33 of Vlador's Quest.
One more mention of Vlador's Quest
and I'm gonna lose it.
- How do we get into a zone within a zone?
SHERMAN: Um
[ZEKE BLOWING NOSE]
Well, the instructions don't say.
Well,
if we need to get into another zone
we're probably looking
for a portal of some type and a key.
Huh? And if we assume this is the key
then all we're looking for
- Is a key hole.
Everyone spread out and search.
Looks like they're cowering
before some sort of guardian.
VERT:
A phoenix.
[RUMBLING]
Hmm?
Huh?
SHERMAN:
Guys, I think I've got something.
There's faint energy readings
from the top of that obelisk.
Of course, the data log.
VERT:
Agura, climb up and insert the data log.
No prob, but make sure Zeke
doesn't knock it down while I'm up there.
STANFORD: Hmm?
- Ah
VERT:
Hmm.
- Huh?
- Ah!
Everyone stay back from the vortex.
Or we'll disintegrate, we get it.
VERT:
Sark closing fast.
ZEMERIK: Destroy organics
and retrieve Sentient artifact.
It is leading them to something.
The only question now is
- "Why?"
- No.
- "When?"
- No.
- "How?"
- "What?"
The only question is, "What?"
Zeke, the data log.
This is just like episode 26,
"Vlador's Last Stand.
"
SHERMAN:
Where he was trapped with no escape.
- And had to make a leap of faith into
- A swirling neutrino galaxy.
Awesome.
VERT:
The phoenix.
Everyone into the vortex.
Excuse me?
Vert.
ZOOM:
Where Vert goes, I go.
Yes.
I can't believe I'm doing this.
Out of the frying pan and into the vortex.
Huh?
[TIRES SCREECHING]
Whoa.
That was intense.
ZOOM:
Whoa!
The interzone.
ALL:
Whoa!
SPINNER: Cool.
- How'd you know we would rematerialize?
The phoenix represents rebirth.
Something that's destroyed,
but then reformed.
You risked our lives
based on artwork made of stick figures?
No risk, no reward.
Okay, everyone, let's move.
It won't take Zemerik long
to figure it out too.
ZUG:
The organics self-terminated.
The Earth is defenseless.
Jumping into a vortex of anti-matter
is completely illogical.
The organics are illogical.
That is what makes them weak.
Or perhaps
that is what makes them strong.
Zurk, advance.
[GASPS]
ZEKE:
This must be it.
Sentient survivors
could be behind that door.
With the answers to everything I've
always wanted to know about the universe.
Then let's crack it open.
AGURA: Could the data log be the key?
ZEKE: No.
According to the Sentient hieroglyphics
I think you're supposed to press this.
ALL:
Oh!
[WHIRRING NOISE]
That sounds like someone just turned on
the world's scariest air-conditioning unit.
SHERMAN:
Look, energy.
Huh?
SHERMAN:
I think we have to connect these pipes.
So it flows from there to there
before the energy leaks.
A puzzle? Puzzles hurt my brain.
A positron flow lock to be precise.
[GRUNTS]
ZOOM:
Huh?
Guys, we got company.
Zeke, keep on trucking.
Everyone else, it's slice-and-dice time.
[GRUNTS]
A few more pieces
and I'll know everything.
The secrets of the multiverse
decoded at last.
ZOOM:
Whoo-hoo!
Shred it.
Ah!
Oh, no, you don't.
[GROANS]
Okay, easy.
Easy, that's gonna
Consarnit.
Guys, a little help here.
- We're all tied up.
- Well, in one sec I'm gonna be all drilled up.
Easy.
Yes, oh, baby.
There we go.
So close.
AGURA:
Someone help me.
Uh
[SIGHS]
I can't believe I'm doing this.
SENTIENT COMPUTER:
Access to vault, denied.
Ahh!
[CAR HORN HONKING]
Agura, you okay?
- Perfect.
- You pathetic post-protozoan organisms.
- May you rot in this zone forever.
VERT: Hey.
- What?
- What, what?
What?
Recalculating.
SENTIENT COMPUTER:
Sark intruders.
Zone compromised.
What?
SENTIENT COMPUTER:
Initiating self-destruct.
[RUMBLING]
Time to get out of here.
Let's get to that portal.
SENTIENT COMPUTER: Self-destruct in five.
VERT: Move, move, move.
SENTIENT COMPUTER:
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
[SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING]
[ZEKE GROANING]
Zero, zero, one, E=mc2,
a double cheeseburger.
His brain is finally overloaded.
It's deleting all the Sentient data.
Is the old chap gonna be okay?
AGURA: I hope so.
- I like turtles.
- He saved my life.
- He will be fine.
But he will not remember anything
from the time of the lightning strike.
All right, guys,
let's get him back to the desert.
[GASPS]
They are coming.
- Hmm?
- Huh?
[SHERMAN GROANS]
ZEKE: Well, I'll tell you what,
I conked out in my truck.
And I had the wildest dream.
Dream?
Yeah,
about inter-dimensional battlezones.
And killer robots and aliens.
Ha, ha.
And the best part, you were all there.
Really? Sounds, uh, pretty far-fetched.
Yeah, I know.
Ha, ha.
Hey, my recorder.
I'm sure I documented my discovery
of the alien artifact.
Log entry 31 B/12.
What in blazes?
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ON RECORDER]
I didn't know you were a fan
of the Battle Force 5.
Great punk band.
Oh!
[WHISPERING]
Nicely done, Stanford.
Ha, ha.
Nicely done.