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Listen, he is... he is pouring...
But what are they doing? Sack Tata now!
Oh, my wife is yelling!
No, sit down. It's the fourth floor neighbor who is a merengue: Hala Madrid! Hala Madrid!
- Give me a light. - What? - Give me a light.
- Give me a light! - But it burns.
- Eh, it's a foul! Referee, resign! - President...
We're in enemy territory.
And how, enemy territory.
Hala Madrid! Hala Madrid!
Short pass to Messi, he's in the box, shoots, and goal!
I'm sorry but I must be going.
Messi goal, Ricard! Messi scores!
With this goal, Messi equalizes Di Stéfano as top-scorer in Clásico history.
But is Di Stéfano playing? That's impossible, Ricard, because although they share the same origins, they've never played together, Torquemada!
No, *** Maria. I mean Di Stéfano had held the record for goals in Clásico matches so far. It was a historic fact.
But where are we, Ricard? Where are we? At a football game or at a history class?
- But... - No ifs, ands, or buts, Ricard!
As Aristotle said, 'No ifs, ands, or buts'!
I accidentally stepped on his foot and that's why he yelled.
Can you see it, huh?
He has 'onions' on his foot. [bunions]
Onions, like a burger.
Hala Madrid! Hala Madrid...!
Barça will win this game! I trust Barça! I trust Barça!
What? A penalty kick? But what are you saying? What are you saying? It was outside the box!
This referee is very bad! Very bad!
Note down, Ricard, because I won't remember later!
'The referee has robbed us!'
- But there're still 35 minutes remaining! - Ricard, I don't trust Barça! I don't trust Barça, Ricard!
What a jerk...
What's the matter, president?
- It's the 'Wasabi.' - Have they sent you a picture of Pepe?
No, they say I have to get the paid version of 'Wasabi'!
Keep calm, it's not so expensive, president. It's only...
99 euro cents!
That's very serious!
You animal! You trade unionist! You Luis Figo!
So switch off the cell and pay attention to the game.
I can't, I want to send 'emotiyawns'! I'm an addict, I want to send the flamenco dancer!
Ramos is sent off! Ramos is sent off! Note down, Ricard, 'This referee is very good'!
How can you give a penalty?
Excuse me, I think you're not doing it well.
- You're the one who's not doing things well! - Forget it, you'll say it later anyway.
*** off!
It's not so clear to me.
So get your eyes checked, Ricard! Get your eyes checked!
***, you're talking to the coat stand.
Believe me, Ricard! I say this sincerely!
Please, get you eyes checked! It was a penalty! A penalty!
Goal! Messi goal!
Messi goal!
Who doubted these players? Who?
Esteve did.
No, no... Excuse me, but I have to go. My wife has contractions every 3 minutes.
Every 3 minutes? Never mind! I din't bat an eyelid until I had contractions every 10 seconds.
Keep cool, don't be such a drama queen.
Come on!
What a relief, that was a close call.
What? Another penalty kick? Two penalty kicks against us at the Bernabéu? How dare you!?
- Can you hear it? - It's money, isn't it?
No, I have enough balls to do so.
Messi goal! Messi scores!
You cheap!
Note down, Ricard! I don't want to forget it! 'This referee is very good!'
Madrid will cry saying they have been robbed
and this, Ricard, is really pathetic!
But ***, you said a while ago, 'The referee has robbed us!'
Yeah, but there's a difference between Madrid and me! Do you know what one, Ricard?
I can make you get fired!
Alright.
'Patètic' [pathetic] has a grave accent on the e, doesn't it?
A grave accent? A grave accent? Ricard, please! That's like a dagger through my heart!
After so many years together, after so many sports moments shared,
I'm very sorry but I can't tolerate it! I can't tolerate it, Ricard!
You are fired! Fired! You are fired!
Joan, I'm more nervous than before knowing if I'm going to get a big or very big tax refund!
You know, president, that's the way football is.
Why are you talking about football?
I'm so nervous because I cannot send 'wasabis'! I'm not allowed!
- Do you have a cell phone, Joan? - I had to sell it to pay Overmars.
That's very serious!
- But what's wrong, president? - I can't send 'emotiyawns'!
The one yelling,
the one crying, the heart, the one with tongue sticking out...
Excuse me...
You support Barça, don't you?
No, no... You're mistaking me for someone else.
Joan, they've caught us and we're in enemy territory!
No, you are Gaspart.
I clearly remember what you did. How could I forget it!
No, no... When I took to the pitch in that Copa del Rey final at the Bernabéu.. It wasn't me, it wasn't me.
Well done.
Bravo!
It's him!
Eh! If we have the seventh and eighth Champions Leagues, it's thanks to this man and to the signings of Figo and Rochemback!
Listen, a free round for everyone! It's on me!
Yeah!!
Joan, Joan!
End of the game!
Ladies and gentlemen, this year we'll win it all! Ricard, we'll win it all!
Ricard? Ricard, what are you doing out there?
- Well, you fired me. - So I take you on again!
It's very sad, ladies and gentlemen, it's very sad, Ricard, to celebrate a victory like this alone!
What are you doing, Ricard? Please, that's enough!
You are fired! Definitely!
Barça! Barça! Barça!
- Esteve. - Yes?
Isn't your wife giving birth?
Gee! It's true!
How selfish!
He's watching football while his wife is giving birth!
- Barça! - Barça!
What a nerve!
Can you see it, Joan? We'll be the champions, and these folks are our friends too!
Don't get angry, sirs. Eh?
We can sort it out, there's always a solution. We're going to buy you a round!
No! I'd rather be dead!
Well, we were thinking of something different...
How about...
...you run for president again, huh?
Let them come back! Let them come back! Let them come back...!
Hold on a minute! This calls for a celebration, doesn't it? Another free round!
Listen, don't referee us again!
What if I referee like the Copa final you won at Mestalla?
In that case, yes.
You good-for-nothing!
You ***!
Go to hell!
After one of the best Clásicos ever, Barça will fight for La Liga title, and for the Champions League, and for the Copa del Rey.
I can referee the Copa final if you want to.
You Barça-biased!
Be that as it may, no one can take the joy of yesterday's great win at the Bernabéu away from us. It was a historic victory.
And why not? Maybe we can start to think about winning...
the Copa, La Liga, and the Champions League!