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Well.
Hi Honey! What's up?
Ah, nice!
I just came back home, from doing the groceries.
I have a surprise for you!
I bought everything we need to prepare the Slava! [Feast of the Saint Patron of the Serbian family]
What do you say?
Ain't I the best wife on earth?
Hehehe.
Let me tell you... I bought loads of meat for the grill!
Let's go to the Slava!
Eh?
What do you mean "it can't be fatty"?
What?
Meaty?
But what is exactly "meaty"?
Ah, you mean we won't prepare meat?
It has to be "light".
And what is light?
I don't get it. You're the one always saying that a meal ain't a meal if it doesn't have meat, and precisely on the day you're throwing a party, you don't want to eat it.
Right, not a party, a Slava.
Ok, I'm just asking. Don't get mad. I'm just asking.
Ok, would you like me to tell you what else I bought?
Yes, well, I bought many different sorts of nice French cheeses.
Help yourself!
I beg your pardon?
We're not allowed to eat that either?
Damn it.
It can't be anything of animal origin.
Well, what am I suppose to prepare Daki? Salad? Nobody's going to come.
We'll prepare fish?
Ain't fish an animal?
Ok, don't get mad! I'm just trying to understand!
In that case, why don't I prepare a nice Spanish paella with seafood, eh, what do you think?
I love you!
Leave me alone!
Why not?
Pffff, then you don't know what you're missing.
Ok, what else can I prepare Daki?
You want me to bake a cake?
Ah, well, the only cake I know how to prepare is Tiramisu...
***!
but that cake is not baked, I just put in the refrigerator. And moreover it is a meaty cake, eh, sorry I mean a fatty cake.
Aha, not a cake for dessert, but a Slava cake. What kind of cake is that?
Ok, so you mean bread?
But why do you call it cake if it's bread?
Ey, I really don't get it Daki... what else?
Is dessert allowed or is it not allowed?
Bravo. And what kind of dessert?
Baklavas? Uuuh, I like that. I can order them at the Moroccan place.
Why not?
They have to be Serbian baklavas! And where am I supposed to find them?
At Dimče the Macedonian place in Montreuil?
I get it.
What else Daki?
We can have Strudel for dessert, OK.
Hahaha, Strudel. Jawohl.
I didn't mean anything by that.
Ok, what else, we won't be eating only sweets, will we?
Sarma. OK.
But sarma without meat.
Wait a sec, let me look up a recipe on the Internet.
Daki, here it says that sarma is a traditional Turkish dish. Are you sure we're allowed to prepare that?
I'm not messing with you! I'm just asking!
Ok, Daki. Tell me, whom shall we invite at the Slava?
Really?
But this makes 22 people, Daki.
Where are they all going to sit?
But wait, we don't have enough chairs!
What do you mean, you and I are going to stand?
We're not allowed to sit at our party, I mean Slava!?
Let me ask you something...
Are you sure that I AM allowed to be there?
I'm just kidding man!
OK, Daki, anything else? I have to start preparing. There's enough to prepare for the next 3 days.
Who could help me?
Your mother? No, no, no Daki. It's really not necessary. I can prepare all of it alone. Your mother doesn't have to come especially for that.
No, no, no, no. Don't worry. I can do it all. It's not a problem.
You just sit back and relax.
Yes, ok, Honey. I have a lot of work.
Bye, kiss kiss. See you tonight.
Holy cow, what am I going to do?
Is this fat? No it's not.
No way I can prepare everything by tomorrow!
Duška, it's Martina here!
How are you my dear?
I need your help.
I'm sure you know how to prepare sarma and the Slava cake, right?
Wonderful, wonderful.
Hello?
Yes...? Duška?
I can't speak too loud. Daki's cousin fell asleep under the table.
He's completely drunk.
Whatever. Let him sleep.
Let's just hope he doesn't vomit again on the carpet.
So, you wanna know how it was? What can I say...
The police came showed up at our door.
I'm not kidding. The neighbours called them, because of the noise.
150 Euros of fine.
And they told us that it's not allowed to have so many people in such a small apartment.
26 people came instead of 22.
Anyways, I got compliments for your sarma. Thank you. But I didn't have time to try them.
Yes, there was enough food. But I had to go three times to get more wine and beer.
They drink like Russians.
Duška?
I *** up something.
I didn't do it on purpose, but don't tell anyone.
I wanted to prepare bajadere sweets.
And then I put butter instead of margarine.
I didn't do it on purpose, I swear!
Everybody said they were excellent.
Yeah, hihihihi.
Duška, I have to hang up, I have a pile of dirty dishes.
Good, talk to you later, and once again thank you for your help!
You saved me!
You're a sweetheart.
Where there is Slava, there is Snajka (daughter-in-law)!