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Welcome to The Endorsement Game!
This week, our lucky candidate is Ted Cruz. So Candidate Cruz, let’s meet your suitors!
Over here, we have Phil Robertson!
You might recognize him as the star of Duck Dynasty, but Phil is also known for calling
marriage equality evil. He enjoys long walks on the beach and thinks that black people
were happy in the Jim Crow south.
Next we have Mike Bickle!
Mike is an evangelical pastor. He loves deep conversations and watching movies. Mike once
said Hitler was a “hunter” sent by God to go after the Jews who didn’t convert
to Christianity. He believes that homosexuality “opens the door to the demonic realm”
and that Oprah Winfrey is the forerunner of the Antichrist.
And we have Troy Newman!
Troy is the president of the controversial pro-life group Operation Rescue and a board
member for The Center for Medical Progress -- ya know, the group under indictment for
secretly filming meetings with Planned Parenthood. His hobbies include romantic candlelit dinners,
praising the killing of abortion doctors and calling women who have abortions murderers.
And finally, we have Glenn Beck!
Glenn is a conservative radio personality. His hobbies include spending time with his
family and spouting paranoid, anti-government rhetoric. He compared Al Gore to the Nazis
and called President Obama a racist. He has also claimed health care reform was “the
end of the constitution,” the government used the census to “increase slavery,”
and “white Americans are pretty much toast.”
So which endorsement will Ted Cruz choose to tout on the trail?
All of them!
Cruz’s campaign has embraced every single one of these men.
That’s our show! Please join us again.
This has been an amazing evening.