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It used to be that the way to get a girl Was by being yourself
But now something has changed in the world And it's playing with my mental health
It used to be you'd walk up talk her up maybe make a joke or two
She'd laugh hopefully touch your arm and maybe share a smile with you
You'd walk her home hold her bag and she'd gaze into your eyes
And then you'd hope against hope that she felt the same feelings she provoked
But there's just one thing now To understand
It's not about humor or flowers or how you hold her hand
You gotta learn how to text Oh you gotta know how to text
Cause the joking and flirting only happens over SMS
Oh you gotta know how to text
It used to be the only period I was afraid of was the one that meant we couldn't have
sex But now I know just when I'm in trouble cause
she put one at the end of her text Inner debates about the meanings of smileys
have gone on for way too long Does the happy face mean she's down?
She texts me I text back right away and suddenly no retort
Now I'm wondering what I did wrong to cut this conversation short
She'll respond the next day as if that's just exactly how talking works
That's not how talking works That's really not how talking works
Yeah there's just one thing now You need to know
It's not about how you grab her hips when you dance so slow
You gotta learn how to text Oh you gotta know how to text
Cause the makeups and breakups only happen over SMS
And even some of the sex
My mind is racing Cause I don't know just what to say
If I write this Will she interpret it the wrong way
I'm counting words So I can make sure my texts aren't too long
If they're longer than hers Am I doing something wrong?
You gotta know how to text Oh you gotta know how to text
Cause your inflection and expression don't matter over SMS
You gotta know how to text
Did she mean to send a winky face or was something just stuck in her eye...phone