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fifty shades of blue
what really happened when I met mister grey
i was living with this girl
not like that we were just friends and she had a job to do but had a broken heart to mend
So I said I'd do it for her
and she went like, 'Uh OK'
So I dressed up and went along to meet this bloke called Mr grey
well to cut a very boring story short and to be quite clear I said O M G!
when i saw this guy
but he luckily didn't hear
he was like toterly GORGEOUS!
in a mesmerising way
and I knew that from that moment I'd do anything he'd say.
he looked into my limpid eyes and his voice was soft and low
as he asked me if there were any limits to the places we might go
My mouth went dry and useless while another place got wet and I knew I had to
take a chance on whatever I might get
he grabbed me in his steely arms I was lost in his wild embrace I was
toterly ecstatic as he kissed me all over the place!
Then a mystical something came over me
no not that, disgusting, ew!!
And I found myself unable to stop singing a really weird version of Don't Step
on my blue suede shoes
and it went
You can call me stupid
Call me thick, you can cover me with glue and see if I'll stick But don't you step
on my blue suede shoes
Well you can do what you want but don't step on my blue suede shoes
You can smack me in the mouth
smack me in the head , you can smakc me on the bottom until it turns red. But don't
you
don't you step on my blue suede shoes
Well you can do what you want but lay off of my blue suede shoes
you can make me shave
make me lose weight
make me be the sort of girl other girls hate.But don't you
don't you step on my blue suede shoes
you can do what you want but don't step on my blue suede shoes. You can
roll me in the hay
roll me in the greass you can even have a go at my sweet sweet
(I can't repeat that bit) but don't you don't you step on my blue suede shoes
well you can do what you want but lay off of my blue suede shoes.
Well I think you're getting the message
it just kept getting worse
as I just kept on singing verse after verse after verse and he stopped look
ing turned on and
instead began looking shifty
until i got to the last verse
i think it was verse fifty
Then he told me quite kindly ( in the way you'd expect him to do) when someone's just sung fifty
verse about their suede shoes of blue
that we wouldn't be suited no how and no way.
and that's the story of me and the sexy Mr Grey.
so I made my journey home and I wrote this to you
and I'm toterly bummed
and fifty shades of blue