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When jeans become fat jeans, but one doesn't throw them away.
This is for one of two reasons
or both, if you're an OCD fashionista like I am:
They go really well with some of your outfits
and/or you really haven't lost enough weight to justify getting new ones.
In fact, knowing yourself, with your ability to yo-yo and retain water like a boss, you'll probably need them next week.
Now, I've only lost about five pounds. That's actually a big accomplishment for me.
Shut up.
But believe me, it makes a difference in how my jeans fit.
This is a pair of tight, new jeans.
In fact, they're still a bit tight, so if anything, these are more like goal weight jeans.
They'll fit perfectly when I lose another five to ten pounds.
... If I lose another five to ten pounds.
These are my fat jeans.
I got them in middle school. I'm in college now.
These are the only holes it had on purpose; the rest are just years of cumulative abuse.
These were the final straw. I think I was just in an awkward position, and then there was an almighty tear.
I was just like, "Oh, my gosh, finally I can get rid of these jeans."
But then my mom was like,
"Hey, let me put patches on the inside so you don't have to get rid of these jeans!"
And I was like, "No, wait--"
All done.
"... Thanks, Mom. (WHY ME?)"
I was a bit heavier in middle school, so look at how these fit now.
It's like one of those After photos.
Look at my arm. My arm fits inside my old thigh.
That should be true. At all, ever.
Jeans should not wrinkle like this. Jeans should never wrinkle here.
Because this is where guys look and guys do not want to look at wrinkles.
I just want to get rid of my fat jeans. Because they're such temptation.
They're just hanging in my closet saying, "Hey. Eat everything in sight. Just like you want to. We're here for you."
No. I want to be able to breathe in my goal-weight jeans.
"Eat."
No.
"Sparkle?"
Yes.
I'm not making any sense anymore, am I?
"No."
This has been an episode of The Life Of Me. I'm also doing rants, English grammar, Catholic apologetics, and music.
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Bye!