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My name is Tony Farraiolo and I'm from New Haven, Connecticut.
I wanted to kinda talk about my childhood and how I struggled with dealing with
first my *** orientation and second my gender identity.
Through my life I was pretty much abused by my father, continuously.
I was supposed to be his daughter but I acted more like his son and I don’t think he could handle it.
So, I was in school and it was like sixth grade or something and the teacher said,
“What do you want to be when you grow up”
and I stood up and said, “I want to be a boy.”
And the whole class laughed at me and made fun of me for the rest of my school, let’s say, life.
I kinda went into isolation, did a lot of drugs, was a cutter. I used to mutilate my body.
But it was really weird because even when all that was happening I always knew my life was going to be better.
It was like, the craziest thing. I was just trying to survive.
So, about five years ago things still weren’t right. I mean, I had friends and my life was better.
I identified as a lesbian. Things were okay.
I had some partners but still I wasn’t connecting with myself.
And then I watched a documentary on transgendered people
and I was blown away because that’s who I was and I realized it.
About five years ago I got my chest surgery and as soon as I saw myself in the mirror
my life just totally changed and I became an activist for my community and I work a lot with the youth.
First I was a mentor and I said, “You know there’s gotta be more than this one trans kid
who needs my help” so I started a youth group for trans kids between the ages of 14 and 17.
And it’s amazing how when I’m sitting in a room with a kid and the kids like cryin’, “I’m cuttin’ myself.
I don’t wanna be in school.” I’m like, “Dude, everything is okay. I was there.”
So it’s almost like being with the kids rights all my wrongs.
I always wondered why I was abused so much and why I was a cutter and I did so much drugs.
Like, why was that thrown on one person? And now I know why.
Sometimes you gotta dig really deep and fight like an animal to survive but there will come a day
when you’ll sit back and say, “That was all worth it, all that pain was worth it, because now I’m happy and I’m me.”