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This is ridiculous.
Do you have any idea
what time we get out of here?
Nobody likes to work late.
Least of all, me.
- You have plans tonight?
- No, I don't.
Remember when you told us not to make
plans 'cause we were working?
Yes, I remember.
This is B.
S.
This is B.
S.
Why are we here?
I am gonna call corporate.
Enough is enough.
I'm
God, I'm so mad!
This is Michael Scott, Scranton.
We don't wanna work.
No, we don't!
It's not fair to these people!
These people are my friends,
and I care about them!
We're not gonna do it!
Everybody,
I just got off the horn with corporate,
and basically I told them where they
could stick their overtime assignment.
- Go enjoy your friday.
- Thank you, Michael.
- I think we dodged a bullet there.
- I think you did.
I think we should celebrate.
How about you, Pam, mi casa
A little dinner, dancing, drinks?
- Oh, I
- You said you didn't have plans.
That's what you said.
Michael has asked Pam and me
to dinner at least nine times.
An every time,
we've been able to get out of it.
But I've got to give him credit.
He got me.
Because I'm starting to suspect
that there was no assignment
from corporate.
Michael, what time
should I be arriving?
Dwight, it's couples only.
And besides,
I only have six wine glasses.
So it will be me and Jan,
and Pam and Jim.
And Angela and Andy.
Does it bother me that I wasn't invited
to Michael's dinner party?
- Hi.
- Hello.
- How are you?
- Come on in.
- Good to see you.
- Chilly, huh?
I'm so glad we finally
Finally got to do this
with you guys.
This is great.
You want to
- take their coats, babe?
- Yes, I would.
So what have you been doing?
Let's see, since I saw you
an hour ago?
I have been getting ready,
and then driving over here.
Well, we've been doing
pretty much the same thing.
- Really?
- Except driving.
We
We got you this.
Thank you.
This will be great
to cook with really.
Well, have a seat,
or come on in or
I don't know, make yourself to home.
This is our casa.
Really nice.
So what you guys think? Should we do
the tour first or have appetizers first?
Tour.
Let's do the tour first.
You've a preference, babe?
Upstairs first?
- Totally your call, babe.
- All right, well, let's go then.
I say upstairs.
You guys doing a little construction?
Oh, just redoing
the sliding glass door.
Yeah, so sorry
about this god-awful carpet.
We are still a work
in progress here.
This is my office.
Yep.
Never been used.
- Not super-exciting.
- No.
- And this is my work space.
- This is it.
Check that out.
You smell it?
As you can smell, there's a lot
of different odors going on in here.
So you have an office
and a work space.
I do, you know.
I just
I cannot create in the same space
that I conduct business.
I'm sure
that you're the same with your odles.
Smell.
It's fire.
- Bonfire.
- Bond!
- Men love this one.
- James bond fire!
I am Bond fire
James Bond fire.
Michael Scott!
When I get frustrated,
or irritated or
angry, I come up here
and I just smell all my candles!
And it just goes away.
- Just like that.
- Yeah.
So this is the master bedroom.
And these walls, they used to be,
like white, like an asylum.
So I wanted it to be softer
so I had it painted in eggshell white.
Guess what.
White and eggshell white
are exactly the same color.
- Babe
- Exactly.
I thought you said that
you were gonna tidy things up.
Well, I
Shame on you.
- What a cute bench.
- Thanks.
That's my bed.
Jan has, uh, some space issues,
so I curl up on that puppy.
Really?
'Cause
It seems pretty narrow
and short.
It's actually a lot bigger
than it seems.
Look at that!
See?
It fits perfectly.
I finally
broke down and bought myself
a plasma TV.
Check it out.
I actually hung this
on the wall myself.
- That's good.
- I wanna show you something.
A lot of people in the room,
you need more space
voila.
Right into the wall.
Sometimes, I will just
stand here
and watch television for hours.
I love it.
I love this TV.
And I also built this table.
- What is that, chestnut?
- No, it's either pine of nordic cherry.
It's pine.
Yeah.
I'm just terrible at this stuff,
so that's cool.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Yeah, he tried to set up
my Tivo for me,
but then I didn't have audio
for a week.
If you ever need any help,
I'm just a phone call away.
I bet you are.
Well, I saw
Oh, your dundies.
I'm surprised they're not out
on a coffee table for everybody to see.
They was between
the neon bier sign
and the dundies.
So I said,
"Honey, keep the trophies.
"
Oh, honey,
I have the best trophy right here.
Aside from my dundies.
- Oh, excuse us just a second.
- I'll get it.
So glad we were finally
able to do this.
- So glad we
- No.
No.
- Okay.
- Tuna!
What's up, Tuna?
We gonna have some tuna for dinner?
I bet you're sick of tuna.
You've probably tuna every night.
All right.
Tuna.
These are for you.
- Oh, how thoughtful.
- Very nice.
Except for one flower,
which is for
my flower.
What am I supposed to do with this?
How'bout we do the short tour,
and then I'll start dinner?
Oh, I can help starting dinner,
if you need it.
The osso buco needs to braise for about
three hours.
Everything else's done.
Three hours from now,
or three hours from earlier, like 4:00?
You know, Pam, in Spain, they often
don't even start eating until midnight.
When in Rome.
You have a preference?
Upstairs first?
- Whatever you say, babe.
- Follow me.
All right.
How'bout a toast?
Shall I?
Here's to good friends.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Kinda sorta an oaky afterbirth.
What was that?
So music?
Should we turn some music
That sounds good.
Do you guys remember
my old assistant, Hunter?
He is an excellent song writer.
Wait to hear this.
Okay, here we go.
You took me by the hand
Just made me a man
That one night
You made everything all right
So raw,
So right
All night, all right
Oh yeah!
So raw, so right,
All night, all right
Oh yeah!
You know what?
Hunter was a terrible assistant.
- That's why Ryan fired him.
- He's probably just as reliable as Pam,
because it usually takes you
an afternoon to get back to me.
Sometimes I think
she olds on to faxes.
I don't care what they say about me.
I just want to eat.
Which I realize is a lot
to ask for.
At a dinner party.
- Cow.
- No, it's a hump.
There's a hump.
- Joe Camel.
- Yes!
Okay, yes.
First name of that animal,
and the second name is the state
where Helena is the capital.
Montana.
- Joe Montana?
- Yes! Yes!
- Time's up!
- All right, two pieces!
Why don't say 49ers quarterbacks?
All right, my my
My my turn!
My my my my turn!
My my my my turn!
Babe, can you just, like, really
- You're just, like, really
- What?
- What?
- Could you just simmer down?
- I'm just making people laugh.
- No.
- Yes, I was watching Jim's face.
- I was watching Jim.
And he was laughing.
No smile.
Look at him.
He's laughing.
Michael and Jan seem to be playing
their own separate game.
And it's called, "Let's see how
incomfortable we can make our guests.
"
And they're both winning.
So I am going to make a run for it.
I just got a message from my landlord.
Apparently, my apartment flooded.
- Something with the sprinkler.
- Oh, no!
Pam, we should probably get going
to see the damage.
- Okay.
- You don't need two of you to do that.
That's true
Dinner sounded delicious.
Pam,
I'll see you at home.
Thank you so much.
Oh, Jim, I don't think you're going to
abandon this party here all by itself.
I don't know,
everything I own is there.
You can buy new stuff,
but you can't buy a new party.
That's true.
That is a great point.
Come on down here.
Sit down on that couch
and be amongst friends,
and we're not gonna think about all
your stuff being destroyed.
All right?
- Michael, you're up.
- Here we go.
This is gonna be fun.
- Ready
- Go!
All right.
First name is Tom.
No, no, no.
No names.
No names, no rhyme no soundalikes.
All right, okay.
You're getting into my head!
First name is blank,
and he goes on a cruise.
He goes on a caribbean cruise.
- I don't know.
- Katie Holmes.
- No, but he's married to her!
- Oh, Dawson's Creek.
No, it has to be a real person Jim.
Come on!
No, no, I'm gonna pass.
I'm gonna pass.
- Rhymes with Parnold Schporzenegger.
- No rhyming!
Not really a rhyme.
Another clue!
Okay, he's the governor
of California.
- He is the terminator.
- Those aren't helpful.
- Tom Cruise!
- Time!
God!
Does anybody read the paper?!
Here you go.
- Oh, thank you.
- You're welcome.
I'm so, so sorry
for the temperature in here.
The, um
sliding glass door shattered.
- So
- It's okay.
It's actually a really cute story.
Do you wanna tell it, babe
or should I tell it?
- I don't like that story, babe.
- Come on!
It's a cute stor Michael
ran through the sliding glass door
because he thought he heard
the ice cream truck.
Stop.
Stop it!
I mean, I like ice cream, okay?
Sue me.
Oh, no, don't.
I shouldn't say that jokingly
because she will sue me.
She loves to sue.
She loves lawsuits.
You know, honey,
that door was extremely clean
and it looked invisible.
You are so right.
You are so right!
Because before I lived here,
the glass was always covered in smudges.
And I moved in and I cleaned it,
so I guess that makes me the devil.
You are!
She is!
She is the devil!
I'm in hell!
- I'm burning.
Help me.
- You shouldn't joke about that.
- Is there more wine in the kitchen?
- I will get it.
I will get it.
What kind of hostess
would I be if
- It's okay
- No, no.
In fact, you know what?
Girls' trip.
Angela, come on.
Girls' trip.
Oh, not even close.
So you keep a very tidy house.
You should see our bathroom
after Michael takes a bath.
- But I don't need to tell you, Pam.
- Oh, yeah
What?
Oh, don't tell me that he's really
changed since you guys dated.
Oh, are you joking?
Michael told me a little bit about it,
but I see the way you look at him.
I have never, ever dated
or wanted to do anything resembling
dating Michael, ever.
Not ever, not now, not then,
not now, not ever, ever.
I've noticed how you look at him
at the office.
So I spend most of my time
right here.
Have a hand.
So, Jim, I noticed you
checking out Jan's candles.
Oh, no, she just put it
in front of my face.
Yeah
Did you know that candles
are the number one fastest-growing
product in the scent aroma market?
$2 billion a year industry.
And for only $10,000,
you could become a co-owner
of "Serenity by Jan.
"
- What do you think about that?
- Thought about it.
I'm in.
I'm sorry, are you really trying
to get us to invest in Jan's company?
I'm sorry.
What now?
Coming.
Hello.
What are you doing here?
We came here to eat dinner and to party.
This is a dinner party, right?
- Awesome!
- What is he doing here?
- Yes, what are you doing here?
- Dwight is friend.
We weren't invited?
You said that
I could not invite Dwight
because he was not
part of a couple,
and because we didn't have
enough wine glasses.
Dwight brought glasses
and a person.
Fine.
Whatever you want.
Just like always.
Whatever you want.
Whatever I want?
It's never whatever I want.
- It's fine, Michael.
- When I wanted to see Stop
and you wanted to see Wicked,
what did we see?
We saw Wic
When I said
that I wanted to have kids,
and you said that you wanted me
to have a vasectomy, what did I do?
And then, when you said
that you might wanna have kids,
and I wasn't so sure,
who had the vasectomy reversed?
And when you said
you definitely didn't want?
Who had it reversed back?
Snip, snap!
Snip, snap! Snip, snap!
- I did!
- Okay
You have no idea
the physical toll that three vasectomies
have on a person!
And I bought this condo
- to fill with children.
- I am so sorry
that I don't want to bring kids
into this screwed-up world.
- Okay? But look
- Sorry too.
If you want to have kids,
then fine, you win.
Let's have a ***' kid!
You mean it?
You wanna have a kid?
I hate my life.
So can we come in?
Great turkey leg.
Okay, I'm just gonna check
on dinner.
Angela, would you like
some of my beet salad?
I hate beet salad.
It's actually really good.
I know you love beet salad.
I've seen you eat it many times.
The thought of popping one of your beets
into my mouth makes me want to vomit.
Pam
I hope she didn't do
anything to the food.
Like what?
I can't prove it,
but I think she might be
trying to poison me.
- Hey, looks great, babe.
- Yeah, it really does.
I know Jan didn't poison the food.
I know that.
But if she was going to poison
the food of someone at that table,
wouldn't it be me?
Michael's former lover.
Can you not do that?
It's disgusting.
You know I have soft teeth.
How could you say that?
Excuse me for a second.
So
How do you guys know each other?
I was his babysitter.
And now you guys are dating?
It's purely carnal,
that's all you need to know.
Would you write down your email?
Because I have just
so many questions.
Email?
Never mind.
All right.
There we go.
There.
- That's nice.
- Everybody enjoy their meal.
Hey, babe.
How'bout we take
the beer sign down
until our guests leave,
and then we can discuss it?
No
I'm gonna leave it up.
I think it ties
the whole room together.
Okay.
Jan thinks Hunter is very talented.
You know what?
I don't think he's that good.
At least he's an artist.
B.
F.
D.
, I'm a screenwriter.
And I'm a candle maker,
but you don't hear me
braggin'about it!
No, all you do is you get me
to try to work on my rich friends.
For an investment opportunity!
Man, I would love
to burn your candles!
You burn it, you buy it!
Oh, good, I'll be
your first customer!
You're hardly my first.
That's what she said!
That is a $200 plasma screen TV
that you just killed!
Good luck paying me back
on your zero dollars a year salary
plus benefits, babe!
- I'm gonna get going.
- Fine, get out of here.
It's getting late.
You know what,
she'll be out of the bathroom soon.
Of course.
Get out of my way.
I'll take care of this.
Okay, what seems to be
the problem, officers?
Not now, Dwight.
We got a call about a disturbance?
No.
Nope.
Nothing disturbing here.
Just a couple of friends
having an awesome dinner party.
Your neighbors heard shouting.
Yes, there was screaming, but
My girlfriend threw a dundie at my TV.
A plasma.
- You want to press charges?
- Would she get into trouble?
Yeah, she'd be charged.
I will take the fall.
- I did it.
- You don't have to press charges.
You could just try to be more quiet.
- Michael!
- Yes.
What
what are you doing to him?
Sir, do you have any other place
you could stay? Maybe with
one of your friends here?
Michael can come home with me.
Jim, Pam?
- Oh, my apartment's on fire.
- Flooded.
You people!
- Come on, you're sleeping with me.
- No.
- I'm gonna take you home, Michael.
- No.
Come with me.
All right.
Bye, babe!
This is the best burger
I've ever had, babe.
Babe,
I should have told you, but
I did something bad.
I stole this.
For you, babe.
I love that.