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-"Fetch Quest" begin.
-And now a guide to mobile games-- video games you can
play while you poop.
-Mobile games are so popular, smartphone companies have
banded together to install padding on city street lamps.
-The war between console gamers and mobile
gamers rages on.
Here's a minute with the world's most hardcore mobile
gamer.
-If you don't understand why "Bejeweled Blitz" is better
than "Call of Duty," then you don't understand
anything about fun.
First, what's fun about getting shot at?
Second, all of the colors in "Call of Duty" are brown.
Third, "Bejeweled" has a variety of gems, and there are
no gems in "Call of Duty." Fourth, "Call of Duty" matches
can take who knows how long. "Bejeweled Blitz" games are a
minute of pure pleasure every time.
Stop playing everything but "Bejeweled" because it is
better than everything.
And you can bury me under a pile of dead cats and garbage
if I am wrong.
-One of the hottest iOS games is called "The Room." In it,
you solve intricate puzzles and explore while a
long-haired freak yells at you.
-You are tearing me apart, Lisa.
-Mobile games like "Skulls of the Shogun"
also come to consoles.
Yeah, good luck with that.
Like I'm going to bring my Xbox on the subway?
-And now, another minute with the world's most hardcore
mobile gamer.
-Instead of working out, I play "Temple Run." I also play
"Temple Run" instead of playing "Sonic." I also play
"Temple Run" instead of reading.
I also play "Temple Run" instead of
talking to my family.
I also play "Temple Run" instead of texting.
In fact, I don't even call it my phone, anymore.
I call it my "Temple Run" console.
But it would be nice to get a phone call once in a while.
-And now, AMC presents "Breaking Bejeweled."
-Jesse, I finished the cook.
-Yeah, [BLEEP]
Nice gems, Mr. White.
-Careful, careful.
-Yeah, [BLEEP].
-God [BLEEP], Jesse.
-Mobile games are great for couples.
When the passion is gone from your relationship, use your
romantic dinners to get really good at "Simpsons--
Tapped Out."
-Happy anniversary.
-Huh?
-We will slip into the shogun's chambers under the
cover of night and end his tyrannous reign.
-Ooh, yeah.
About that.
I didn't know we were assassinating a guy.
I'm more of a fruit ninja.
-What?
-Yeah, I don't really do humans.
But I can chop apples, watermelons, and bananas like
a ***.
-What good does that do?
-Oh, I'll handle this.
-I'm sorry I doubted you.
-And now, a '90s R & B classic for fans of the "Clash of
Clans." [MUSIC - SHINTEK, "WHAT A CLAN"]
-What's your mobile gaming obsession?
Put it in the comments, and maybe we'll feature it in a
future episode.
-Fetch Quest end.
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