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♪ There's a hundred and four days of summer vacation
♪ and school comes along just to end it
♪ So the annual problem for our generation
♪ is finding a good way to spend it
♪ Like maybe
♪ Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy
♪ or climbing up the Eiffel Tower
♪ Discovering something that doesn't exist
Hey!
♪ Or giving a monkey a shower
♪ Surfing tidal waves
♪ Creating nano-bots or locating Frankenstein's brain
It's over here!
♪ Finding a dodo bird Painting a continent
♪ Or driving our sister insane
Phineas!
♪ As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do
♪ before school starts this fall
Come on, Perry.
♪ So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all!
♪ So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all! ♪
Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!
PHINEAS: Okay, gang, today we're going to tie a legendary knot.
Whoa, whoa, we're just starting? No... No intro, nothing?
Just getting right into it.
Yep, we're just doing the knot.
Wait! How can we do something not?
No, it's "knot" spelled with a "K."
I didn't think it was spelled with a "K."
No, it's "knot," spelled with a "K."
I don't understand your pauses.
Let me start over.
Today, we're going to reproduce the Gordian Knot.
Well, why didn't you say so in the first place?
I've heard of that, but I can't remember the story.
I'll get this. Back in the day when men wore miniskirts...
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle.
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle.
Alexander the Great was vacationing in Gordium
when he came upon a celebrated ox-cart
that was tied to a post using a knot that was so complicated,
it was impossible to untie.
So he just sliced it in half in one bold stroke.
A simple solution to a complicated problem.
Hence the phrase, "Cutting the Gordian Knot!"
Sounds new to me.
Trust me, it's a thing.
So we'll tie these ropes around our waists,
follow this blueprint to recreate it,
then it's up to us to figure out how to get loose.
That will make us the second people to tie the Gordian Knot,
but the first people to untie it.
What if we cannot untie it?
No problem! Our mom was always really good with knots.
There was this one time when Candace...
Hey, I thought we weren't going to bring up
PHINEAS: Oh, right.
Anyway, would you mind getting Mom if we get stuck
in the ginormous Gordian Knot we're making?
When it gets big and weird, I'll go get Mom.
Excellent! Does everyone have their ropes tied?
All right, let's see. Isabella and Buford,
make two loops where you're standing.
Great! You're good to start climbing.
Baljeet, turn twice counterclockwise
and then dive in five loops from the bottom.
Then Ferb and I will do this and this and this and we'll join you inside.
Absolutely! Let's go, bro.
Baljeet and Ferb, twist to the right and wiggle towards the top.
Hey, where's Perry?
Morning, Agent P.
It seems that Dr. Doofenshmirtz has been hitting every
all-you-can-eat buffet in town, which can't be good.
I mean, if anything were to happen to Doofenshmirtz,
we would have to make some drastic cuts over here.
Especially in the "non-essential-personnel" department.
(VACUUM WHIRRING)
Oh, and don't worry about the mess. Carl will take care of it.
CARL: I guess, that makes me essential, huh?
Don't get cocky, Carl.
(DOORBELL RINGING)
JEREMY: Hey, Candace.
Hi, Jeremy. What a nice surprise.
Ooh! What's that?
Oh, it's an old mini safe of mine that I found in the back of my closet.
I've had it for ages, but I haven't used it in so long that I forgot the combination.
I thought your brothers could open it.
I figured that's a "safe" bet. (CHUCKLES)
That's the thing...
Maybe, it's a rare baseball card.
No, I sold all those long time ago.
Um, could it be your favorite toy car from when you were a kid?
No, I traded that for this safe.
Well, maybe it's something cute, like your baby teeth.
No, definitely not. I've still got those.
Ew! I mean, cute.
Yeah, the tooth fairy never visited me when I was a kid.
Anyway, could you give this to your brothers? I got to rush to work.
Sure. I'll give it to them as soon as they finish their Ferbian Knot.
Don't ask.
See ya later, alligator!
In a while, crocodile!
You guys have got to work on your pet names for each other.
I don't know.
But it's not baby teeth.
PHINEAS: Okay, everybody! Two twists to the left and we should all see daylight.
Well, I just earned my overcoming claustrophobia patch.
(GRUNTS) Daylight! Ha, ha!
Now what?
Now we burrow back in and untie ourselves.
You got to be kidding me.
Who looked at this idea and said, "Yeah, that'll be fun."
You see, this is what happens when we have no intro.
I have been making mental notes of the paths and probabilities
as I have gone along. It will be a piece of cake.
If I just walk backwards, it should work.
The heck with this game, I'm just gonna chill here for a while.
Hey! Who's pulling on my rope?
DOOFENSHMIRTZ: Over here, Perry the Platypus!
I am just having a little lunch. Why don't you pull up a chair and join me?
What do you think? Pretty clever, right?
It's my new "high chair" trap.
I thought of a high chair, 'cause you're just a little guy, aren't you?
Yes, you are, you're just the little guy.
You're not getting out of this, so...
Why don't you enjoy the food?
It's all-you-can-eat, you know.
You're good?
You're already full, right?
Me, too. I barely touched my plate.
That's how these all-you-can-eat places make their money.
They charge you like you're gonna eat a week's worth,
but then, when you fill up after, like, two plates,
then they've really made a profit.
That's why I'm opening my own all-you-can-eat Drusselsteinian buffet.
Look, I've already made a commercial for it.
DOOFENSHMIRTZ: All-you-can-eat Drusselsteinian Buffet.
It's food the way your mother never made.
We've got Hassenfloffer Entrail Waterzooi,
with Gopher Gut Au Gratin.
Fuzzy Fungus Flugelbrotchen!
And an assortment of tripe based desserts!
Those brave enough can try our new Mystery Lump!
Remember, Doof spelled backwards is food!
You know, come to think of it, it really should be called the "all-you-can-stand,"
Because Drusselsteinian food is terrible, that's the beauty of it.
Nobody will be able to finish even one plate's worth.
My profit margin will be huge!
But first, I've got to eliminate the competition with this.
The Eat-it-all-inator.
You see, it gives people a huge appetite, so everyone will eat so much
that all of these all-you-can-eat places will go out of business.
Then my restaurant will be packed! (MANIACAL LAUGHTER)
Maniacal laughter.
What do you suppose it is?
It's probably some dumb boy stuff, like firecrackers or turtle shells.
Or maybe it's his secret inner thoughts written as a sonnet.
No, no, no, no. That's not it.
I've got to think more like my brothers. You know, use my imagination.
This could be dangerous.
Maybe it's a secret spy plan,
or a glass eye, or Abraham Lincoln's beard!
Now just watch what happens when I zap those people over there.
Huh?
What happened? How could I miss?
Oh, I am so hungry all of a sudden.
(MUNCHING)
Phew! That was great. I can cut out the middle man and do all the eating myself.
I'm going back for seconds!
(MUNCHING)
How can you eat like that and stay so thin?
Oh, I built an All-you-can-eat-inator
and it speeds up your metabolism, so you don't gain any weight
no matter how much you eat, ever.
You should mass produce that machine. Everyone would buy one.
You'd be a millionaire.
(SCOFFS) Don't worry about me making money, mister.
I've got a complicated plan.
Like I'm gonna take advice from some guy in a diner.
♪ There's a legend I've heard, or so it's been taught
♪ 'Bout Alexander the Great and the Gordian Knot
♪ Looked it up on the Net so that we could recreate it
♪ Now the knot we have here is quite complicated
♪ It's got closed bends, loop splices, bowlines and lashings
♪ Maybe we can loosen it with just a little thrashing
♪ Square knots, sheepshanks and all kinds of hitches
♪ When it comes to good strength
♪ there's an embarrassment of riches
♪ It's already a knot So ready or not
♪ We're gonna try to untie it, though it's terribly taut
♪ So it won't be for naught, we'll give it all that we've got
♪ To untie the un-untieable knot
♪ We don't know what it is
♪ But we know what it's not
♪ It's not a Gutenberg press or a coffee pot
♪ It's not a car or tractor 'cause the safe's too small
♪ And a fish or a piano wouldn't make sense at all
♪ It's already a knot So ready or not
♪ We're gonna try to untie it, though it's terribly taut
♪ So it won't be for naught, we'll give it all that we've got
♪ To untie the un-untieable knot
♪ To untie the un-untieable knot
♪ To untie the un-untieable... ♪
Not even close.
That's it, I'm getting the boys.
PHINEAS: Looks like we've all got just a few more moves to get untied.
Except for Buford, who's managed to tie himself into a knot.
I'm a victim of circumstance.
Phineas and Ferb, you've got to open this safe and tell me what's inside!
It's driving me crazy!
Sure, we'd love to...
As soon as we finish untying the Gordian Knot.
All right, it's big and weird. Ma!
In a minute, Candace.
(MUNCHING)
Ha! You're too late, Perry the Platypus.
Buffet number two is history.
I am starting to feel a little full, though.
Hmm, I thought it would last more than a few minutes.
Better give myself a little boost.
That's more like it.
Wow, I am so hungry I could eat everything at buffet number three, baby!
Yeah! Oh, give up, Perry the Platypus
those chairs are...
Oh, man, I swallowed my inator.
Oh, well, at least you can't destroy it now, because it's inside my stomach.
So, today, I win.
(GRUNTS)
Okay, you broke it.
I can feel all the little pieces just rumbling around in there.
I'm starving.
What's that sweet smell?
Probably licorice.
We used it to make the ropes as a failsafe in case Mom wasn't around.
Perfect!
(MUNCHING)
Wow! I never knew Candace was such a licorice fan.
Hey, thanks.
(MUNCHING)
I am so in love with her right now.
Nothing.
That's a solution to the Gordian Knot that even Alexander the Great
wouldn't have come up with.
(PANTING)
All right, Candace, what am I looking at?
I ate it.
It was the size of the house and I ate it.
You ate it?
I know, I don't believe it either.
Well, what is that?
It's a safe. I can't open it.
Give me that thing.
I've got an opener that can open anything.
Para usted, senorita.
A pencil?
This is what I've been obsessed with all day? A pencil?
Oh, I remember that!
In grade school, a pretty girl loaned me that pencil and I've kept it ever since.
A pretty girl? Who was she?
Candace, that pretty girl was you.
See, those are your teeth marks.
Okay, Candace, you can eat the rest of that pencil,
unless you'd like to join us all for some chocolate triple-layer cake.
ALL: Yay!
Ugh. Ugh!
Oh, there you are, Perry.
(CHUCKLES) Hey, my baby teeth just fell out.
Why don't you put them in here?
Ew! I mean, cute!
MEAP: It was good getting down around town with my main men,
Phineas and Ferb!
I think those translation sideburns are really working for you, Meap.
Rock and roll!
Later, Meap!
ISABELLA: Hi, Phineas!
What you doing?
Aw, you missed it! We were just talking to Meap on the Galactic web.
What is that, flashing on your screen?
Hmm... I don't know. Let's open it up, Ferb.
Hi, my name is Morg.
Have you ever wished that you could pop off to another planet
on the other side of the galaxy for a quick visit?
Well, now you can,
with Mind Share Vacations! Hmm...
You and your friends can trade places with me and my friends
for the interplanetary vacation of a lifetime!
That sounds like fun!
Imagine relaxing on a hot rock by the pools of Nin
surrounded by beautiful newps!
Or splort through the tube worm forest of Pootwhistle Foomp!
Whoo-hoo! Hmm...
Here's how it works.
Your mind comes to lodge in his head, and his mind goes to stay in yours.
Only your mind makes the trip. Hmm...
All you have to do is build this highly sophisticated device,
and be on your way to pri... A Mind Share Vacation of a lifetime!
Ferb, I think I know what we're going to do today.
It sounded like he almost said we are on our way to Perry.
(CHUCKLES) Hey, where is Perry?
(BEEPING)
MONOGRAM: Morning, Agent P.
We have intelligence that Doofenshmirtz may have taken up square dancing.
He cannot be allowed to use one of our beloved American traditions
for his evil purposes!
So get out there and make sure he do-si-doesn't do that, I guess.
(CHATTERING)
There, finished!
Well, that was easier than I thought.
Let's fire this bad boy up!
(BEEPING)
Brace yourselves for fun, because we're going on a Mind Share Vacation!
PHINEAS: I think it did.
BUFORD: Hey, wait a second. Where the heck are we?
Oh, prison. We were on our way to prison.
ISABELLA: That's what he almost said.
MORG: Hmm, our escape plan worked perfectly.
We are now free to ransack this planet!
Everyone, celebration noises!
(ALL GARGLING)
(BICYCLE HORN HONKING)
Okay, that's enough!
FERB: It appears as though we've been transported into some sort of
intergalactic hoosegow.
I was framed!
I'm afraid we've all been duped into aiding in the escape
of some rather brilliant galactic prisoners.
And they did it with this little gadget.
Phineas, that's you.
That's right, losers! Hmm...
We pulled the old switcheroo!
In case you chumps have any ideas about coming back,
we're setting the device on our end to self-destruct
in one hour!
ALIEN 1: Why are we waiting an hour to destroy it?
ALIEN 2: Have you no sense of drama?
Sayonara, suckers! Hmm...
Ain't that the squirts!
Well, look on the bright side...
I got nothing.
Hey, guys, I just realized something.
I'm the only fly in a prison full of frogs and lizards.
Luckily, I do not think, anyone else has noticed.
INMATE 1: You're mine, flyboy!
INMATE 3: We're gonna get you!
Well, it was nice knowing you.
I think, I figured out how we can reverse this thing.
We'll be back in our own bodies in no time,
(ALARM BLARING)
What's that?
Out of your cells, ladies. Surprise inspection!
Cell number 12, don't make me come down there!
Morg! What are you and your misfits up to this time?
Oh, uh...
Contraband!
One more infraction out of you nerds and I will put you all in the hole for good,
you got it?
The guard just took our only connection back to Earth. Now what are we gonna do?
I think we might be able to rebuild it, if we could just get the parts.
We need to find a guy who knows how to get things.
Every prison has one.
Uh-uh, don't go there.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Where on Earth do you think you're going?
We're going to Lotsmo to steal food.
What? Are you pretending to be aliens or something?
Hmm... Yes. Pretending.
(ALL GURGLING)
(BICYCLE HORN HONKING)
I'm not gonna tell you again.
(HONKS)
Gotcha! (CHUCKLES) I know what you're thinking.
Why the snazzy get up? Why the boots?
Well, you see, I met this girl, Rosie, on a square dancing website
and I may have led her to believe that I'm an expert square dancer.
Hey! Don't give me that self-righteous look.
It's the web, man! Everybody stretches the truth.
You don't think that cat really eats cheeseburgers, do you?
Anyway, that's why I made these boots, to help me dance.
See, they have these little microphones
that hear all the commands of a square dance caller,
and they move exactly to those commands,
making me the perfect square dancer.
So, I really want to make a good impression.
Maybe you can come along and, you know, make me look good.
What do you say? Will you be my wingman?
There's my guy!
Oh, yeah, and by the way, she also thinks I'm a champion bull rider.
So if it comes up, you...
Hey! Don't look at me like that!
RED: There must be a guy like me in every prison in the universe.
I'm the guy who knows how to get things.
Dragonflies, a warm rock if that's your thing,
or maybe a lily pad for your kid's graduation.
So when Morg and his friends needed parts for a mind swap device,
they came looking for me.
Psst! (WHISPERING) I understand you're a guy that knows how to get things.
Stop it! Stop it! What is wrong with you?
Spit him out!
I am sorry. I skipped breakfast.
What is it you are looking for?
Here, we made a list.
You can find everything you need in the dumpster out back of the Lotsmo on Flyway 61.
So, then, you can get us the stuff?
No, I'm not the guy who gets things.
I'm the guy who knows how to get things.
You would have to tunnel out of your cell and crawl 500 yards
through the prison gunge pipe just to reach the outside.
That's the length of five football fields.
I know how long a football field is.
RED: Later that day, to make their escape,
those boys crawled through 500 yards of foul-smelling nastiness
I can't even imagine.
Five hundred yards. That's the length of 11 baseball banners,
one tennis court, a medium sized male elephant and a croquet wicket.
It wasn't long before they found everything that they needed.
Great! Let's hurry up and put this thing together.
The sooner, the better.
But if we do the mind swap here, those criminals will still be out of jail.
You're right. I haven't thought of that.
RED: So even later that day,
those boys crawled back through 500 yards
of foul-smelling nastiness that I...
Actually, it is not as bad as you would think.
Yeah, gunge is actually quite refreshing.
RED: Oh, well, it was still 500 yards.
That's the length of two volleyball courts,
a Nimitz-class aircraft carrier
a large three drawer filing cabinet,
BUFORD: We're not listening anymore.
RED: Oh. Okay, then.
Ooh! Check it out, Perry the Platypus. There she is.
That's Rosie.
She's from Hazel Park.
(WHISPERS) By the race track.
Why don't you go over there and sit with the other wingmen?
And you can, you know, give me hand signals in case I get stuck.
Right.
Hi, there. I'm JohnnyRingoinshmirtz217.
Oh, so nice to finally meet you face to face.
I must say, I like a man with a strong chin.
Oh... (CHUCKLES) Well, thank you.
A lot of people just focus on, you know, the weak forehead.
So you... So you care to dance?
Well, I would love to.
♪ Do-si-do with all your might
♪ Join elbows and circle right
♪ Now join hands with the lady fair
Well, Johnny, I'm impressed.
Well, these boots were made for dancing.
Literally!
Hello? Earth?
Hello?
(SCREAMS) Why are you talking like my little brother, lizard boy?
It's me, Candace. Phineas!
Outer space alien super crooks from a planet of frogs and reptiles
have taken over our bodies.
Okay, what do you want me to do?
Really? You believe that weird story just like that?
Yeah, it's been a long summer, kid. What do you need?
Well, okay.
We need you to find those aliens that look like us
and get them to stand on the Mind Share machine staging area, over there.
You know, that platform thing.
It's the only way we can get our brains back into our bodies.
Okay.
Oh, the machine is set to self-destruct in one hour, so you got to hurry.
Right, I'm on it, Phineas.
MORG: Hmm... Quickly, now. Get all that gluten on that transport vehicle.
Hmm... Let's go!
I've seen Argonian moon sloths that move faster.
(SQUARE DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
Hmm... What is that?
That sound...
I feel compelled to obey its hypnotic quadrilateral voice commands.
Hmm... Must seek out source.
Where are they going now?
You got me all tuckered out with that fancy foot work you been doin'.
What should we do now?
Oh, well, let's see.
We could rub our stomachs and...
Point to our mouths...
And later, we can roll our eyes and put our head in our hands.
I thought we could get something to eat.
Oh, that sounds good, too. Let me... Hang on, let me check.
Let's go!
Oh, rhinestone encrusted oracle,
command us with your quadrilateral, right angle voice commands! Hmm...
♪ Allemande with the ol' left hand
♪ Hand over hand and heel over heel
♪ The faster you go the better you feel
♪ Now allemande right with a two and fro
♪ Duck on under, don't be slow
Of course!
♪ Lift her up and set her down.
♪ Now grab hands and... ♪ (YELLS)
♪ Listen up, dweebs, and listen good
♪ You're gonna do what I say you should
♪ If you're a reptile four by four
♪ All join hands and head for the door
That's right, cross on through there.
♪ Out the door and all turn west
♪ Together now, don't be a pest
♪ Wait right here for all of us
♪ We're about to board the Main Street bus
Out of your cells, ladies!
Inspection time!
Oh, Candace better hurry up.
♪ I'm gonna get my brothers back
♪ You cosmic kleptomaniacs
♪ So get on up with a hop and a spring
♪ Climb up on the... ♪
The...
What the heck did Phineas call that thing?
Number 12, front and center.
Number 12!
CANDACE: Oh, what did he call it? The transfer stage arena...
The mind swap place...
The, the, um...
Come on, Candace, hurry!
Oh, I remember!
♪ Climb on up that platform thing! ♪
What have you got to say for yourself this time, Morg?
We were framed! Hmm...
Candace, you did it.
That's right and when Mom gets home, you're gonna be so...
And just in the nick of time.
Oh, never mind.
Oh, Johnny, isn't it amazing how well we square danced together?
(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
♪ Shake your body like you just don't care
♪ Shake your body like you just don't care
♪ Shake your butt, shake your body, shake your body...
DOOFENSHMIRTZ: It's the boots!
I don't usually have boogie fever... (STAMMERING)
Oh, Johnny Ringoinshmirtz, you said you only square danced!
Well, I could never go out with someone who would
stretch the truth on the Internet. Goodbye!
Oh, come on! You don't think that cat really plays the piano, do ya?
♪ Shake! ♪