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-- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com
CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS
Narrator: COMING UP...
CHECK THIS OUT, NEAL.
LOOK AT THEM PUNCTURE HOLES IN HIM.
Neal: LOOKS LIKE A CRIME SCENE.
BE CAREFUL, BUDDY.
FEELS LIKE I'M UP POOTIE CREEK.
Man: WELCOME TO OUR FAIR VILLAGE OF BRIARWOOD.
HUZZAH!
I MAKE YOU A KNIGHT.
[ IMITATES PEACOCK CALL ]
Neal: ERNIE, GET IT!
Neal: THIS THING WANTS MY EYEBALL
JUST LIKE A ZOMBIE WANTS YOUR BRAIN.
WATCH IT, NEAL! BACK UP!
Narrator: DEEP IN THE BACKWOODS OF KENTUCKY
LIVES A MAN WHO GREW UP WILD.
Neal: YOU KNOW, THERE'S A LOT OF BACKWOODS PEOPLE
IN KENTUCKY,
BUT NOBODY ANY MORE BACKWOODS THAN THE TURTLEMAN.
HE WAS 7 YEARS OLD WHEN HE CAUGHT HIS FIRST TURTLE.
Narrator: HE BONDED WITH THE ANIMALS AND LEARNED THEIR WAYS.
[ BIRD CALLING ]
LIVE ACTION!
[ CHEERING ]
Narrator: NOW HE'S KENTUCKY'S NUMBER-ONE MAN
FOR WILD-ANIMAL REMOVAL.
Man: THERE'S NOT AN ANIMAL PROBLEM AROUND HERE
THAT THE TURTLEMAN CAN'T TAKE CARE OF.
Narrator: AND HE DOES IT ALL... WITH HIS BARE HANDS.
[ HISSING ]
CRAZY, BABY!
[ LAUGHS ]
Narrator: THIS IS...
[ WHOOPING ]
Ernie: WHEN WE NEED TO FIND NEW TRAPS AND GADGETS,
ME AND NEAL, WE GO OVER TO JAKE'S SHED.
JAKE SAYS HE'S GOT A SKUNK TRAP THAT IS SPRAY PROOF.
THIS IS WHERE ALL THE MAGIC HAPPENS.
I GOT TO GET OVER THERE AND CHECK THIS OUT.
YEAH.
ALL THE MAGIC.
ME AND NEAL GO ON OVER THERE AND JAKE AIN'T THERE.
Neal: JAKE'S NOT HERE, SO WE SHOULD PROBABLY
LEAVE ALL OF HIS STUFF ALONE.
WHAT IS THIS?
BUT THERE'S A LOT OF FUN STUFF IN HERE.
WHAT'S THIS? A DREAM CATCHER, I WONDER?
THAT'D BE GOOD FOR SQUIRRELS, BUDDY.
Ernie: I'M LOOKING AT ALL THE CONTRAPTIONS THAT HE'S BUILDING,
AND WE FIND MAD SCIENTIST STUFF.
WELL, HERE'S SOMETHING HE MUST'VE BEEN WORKING WITH.
WHAT'S IT DO, NEAL?
BUDDY, I FORGET.
YOU GOT AN OUTHOUSE.
IF INDOOR PLUMBING GETS STOPPED UP,
YOU JUST PUMP, PUMP, PUMP
AND PUSH THE YOU KNOW WHAT DOWN THE YOU KNOW WHERE.
THAT'S WHY I GOT AN OUTHOUSE.
YOU JUST STOP, DROP, AND WIPE AND GO.
[ LAUGHS ]
MAN, HE'S GOT ALL KINDS OF STUFF.
WOW, NEAL. CHECK IT OUT.
I KNOW WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT.
WHAT'S THAT ALL ABOUT?
THAT'S A WIZARD'S STAFF.
WIZARD STAFF?
CRITTERUM CATCHIMUS.
I RECKON THAT'S HOW YOU USE THAT THING.
CHECK IT OUT.
Neal: I DON'T KNOW WHAT JAKE'S GOTTEN HIMSELF INTO.
BUT WE'LL HAVE TO FIND HIM LATER,
'CAUSE WE GOT A CALL.
WHERE WE GOING TODAY, NEAL, BUDDY?
BUDDY, WE'RE HEADED TO CEDAR HILLS PAY LAKE.
ROBERT CALLED.
HE RUNS A PAY LAKE,
AND SOMETHING IS EATING ALL OF HIS FISH.
Narrator: IN CORNISHVILLE, KENTUCKY,
CUSTOMERS OF ROBERT'S PAY LAKE ARE GUARANTEED A CATCH,
BUT LATELY, SOMETHING LURKING BELOW THE SURFACE
IS SINKING ITS FANGS INTO THE FISH FIRST.
Robert: SOMETHING IS EATING OUR FISH IN OUR PONDS.
WHATEVER IT IS, HE WON'T GO IN A LIVE TRAP,
SO IT'S GOT TO BE A PRETTY DECENT SIZE.
WHAT IN THE WORLD COULD BE WIPING OUT ALL THESE FISH?
BUDDY, THE ONLY THING THAT COULD WIPE OUT A LAKE THAT SIZE
WOULD BE A LOCH NESS MONSTER, BUDDY.
[ Chuckling ] WHAT?
A LOCH NESS MONSTER.
IF YOU WAS TO GUESS
AT WHAT THE LOCH NESS MONSTER WOULD SOUND LIKE,
WHAT WOULD YOU THINK IT WOULD SOUND LIKE?
[ SCREECHING ]
THAT'S WHAT IT WOULD SOUND LIKE, BUDDY.
LORD HELP US.
IT NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE ME
THE NUMBER OF LANGUAGES MY BUDDY SPEAKS.
WHAT ARE WE GONNA NAME THIS THING?
MESSY NESSIE EATING ALL THE CATFISH.
MESSY NESSIE. YEAH, IT SOUNDS GOOD.
LET'S GET OVER THERE AND CATCH A LOCH NESS MONSTER.
[ WHOOPING ] LET'S GET ON DOWN THERE, NEAL.
MAN, THAT'S A BIG OL' LAKE, BUDDY.
Ernie: PAY LAKE IS WHERE PEOPLE GO RELAX AND CATCH A CATFISH,
TAKE HIM HOME TO EAT.
I GO TO PAY LAKES ALL THE TIME,
BUT I'VE NEVER HEARD OF ONE WHERE ALL THE FISH ARE DEAD.
[ WHOOPING ] LIVE ACTION.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, ROBERT?
HEY, TURTLEMAN.
HOW ARE Y'ALL DOING?
HI, BUDDY.
WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM AT YOUR PAY LAKE, BUDDY?
WE STOCK FISH HERE EVERY WEEK.
SOMETHING'S CATCHING THEM AND KILLING THEM.
NOW THEY'RE IN MY BAIT TANK EATING ALL MY BAIT FISH.
IT'S NOT GOOD.
ROBERT THINKS THIS THING'S ATE ALL THE FISH IN THE POND.
THE POND IS LIKE A DINNER TABLE,
BUT NOW HE'S GOING TO THE REFRIGERATOR -- THE BAIT TANK.
Robert: OUR BAIT TANK IS A BIG CONCRETE TANK
WHICH WE RUN AIR IN IT AND FRESH WATER
TO KEEP THE BAIT LIVE, HEALTHY.
BUDDY, I'LL CHECK THE PERIMETER FOR YOU
AND SEE IF I CAN FIGURE OUT SOME CLUES.
ALL RIGHT, TURTLEMAN.
ALL RIGHT, MAN.
I'M GONNA START MY INVESTIGATION AROUND THE LAKE.
I'M LOOKING FOR SLIDES, CLAW TRACKS, TAIL TRACKS.
CHECK THIS OUT, NEAL.
IT'S A MASSACRE.
LOOK AT THEM PUNCTURE HOLES IN HIM.
WHATEVER'S COMING OUT HERE IS CATCHING THE FISH
AND THEN COMING BACK TO EAT THEM.
Neal: I'M FINDING WHAT LOOKS LIKE A CRIME SCENE.
WHAT COULD DO THIS TO A FISH, AND DO I WANT TO SEE IT OR NOT?
THIS THING COMES OUT OF THE WATER.
IT COMES UP RIGHT HERE,
SHOOTS OUT ON THE BANK WITH THE FISH,
WHIPS IT DOWN LIKE THIS, AND THEN WHEN HE'S DONE,
HE STANDS UP AND GOES -- PTOOSH! --
RIGHT BACK IN THE SAME SPOT.
Ernie: IT'S DECAPITATING THE FISH.
IT'S JUST LEAVING THE HEAD AND THE BONES AND SKELETONS.
THIS MAY BE A PAY LAKE,
BUT IT FEELS LIKE I'M UP POOTIE CREEK.
MESSY NESSIE IS GONNA GIVE A BIG FIGHT.
WE MAY HAVE TO CALL IN JAKE ON THIS.
I CAN DO THAT.
Neal: I'VE NEVER SEEN MY BUDDY NERVOUS LIKE THIS BEFORE.
WE'RE GONNA NEED ALL HANDS ON DECK TODAY.
Jake: WHAT'S GOING ON, GUYS?
HEY, JAKE. MAN, GLAD YOU HERE, BUDDY.
WHAT'S UP, BUDDY?
TURTLEMAN, HE IS THE CRITTER EXPERT,
BUT WHEN HE'S GOT SOMETHING HE DOESN'T QUITE KNOW WHAT IT IS,
I'M ALWAYS HERE TO HELP.
LET'S CHECK OUT THIS HERE BAIT SHOP THING HERE
WHERE IT'S GETTING IN.
ALL RIGHT. SHOW ME THE WAY.
ROBERT SAYS HE'S LOSING BAIT FROM THE BAIT SHED, TOO.
ON THE OUTSIDE, THIS PLACE LOOKS SECURE, BUT ON THE INSIDE...
LOOK AT THIS HOLE OVER HERE.
THAT'S A FRESH FISH.
GUYS, THIS IS DEFINITELY HOW IT'S GETTING IN RIGHT HERE.
ERNIE FOUND WHERE MESSY NESSIE'S COMING IN --
RIGHT THROUGH A DRAINAGE HOLE THAT LEADS DOWN TO THE LAKE.
HE'S GONNA GET HUNGRY SOONER OR LATER,
SO HE'S DEFINITELY GONNA COME IN HERE TO GET SOME FOOD.
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO BLOCK THAT HOLE.
YEAH. HOW YOU GONNA DO THAT, JAKE?
THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM.
OH, THAT'S EASY.
GUESS WHAT? THERE'S A TRAP FOR THAT.
Neal: WHENEVER WE'RE SHORT ON IDEAS, WE GO TO JAKE.
HE'S THE MAN WITH THE PLAN.
WHEN HE COMES IN, WE'LL JUST DROP IT AND PLUG THE HOLE.
IT'S GOING FOR THE FISH IN THE FISH TANK.
WHEN IT DOES, I'M GONNA HAVE A NET WAITING FOR IT.
AND THEN WE'LL JUST PULL THE TOP
OVER THE TOP OF HIM AND WRAP HIM UP.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO THIS. LET'S GET TO WORK, GUYS.
Neal: JAKE'S WATCHING THE HOLE, ERNIE'S ALREADY IN THE ROOM.
MY JOB IS TO LOWER A BUCKET DOWN OVER THE ENTRY HOLE.
AS SOON AS MESSY NESSIE COMES IN,
I'VE GOT TO SEAL OFF THE WAY OUT.
Ernie: NEAL, SEE ANYTHING?
DON'T SEE NOTHING.
Ernie: I DON'T HAVE A CLUE ON WHAT THIS CRITTER IS.
I JUST HOPE WHEN IT GETS HERE, I CAN HANDLE IT.
Neal: MESSY NESSIE!
[ WHOOPING ]
Narrator: A MYSTERY MONSTER DUBBED MESSY NESSIE
HAS BEEN DEVOURING THE FISH STOCK AT THIS LOCAL PAY LAKE.
MESSY NESSIE IS A RIVER OTTER, ERNIE!
NEAL, DROP THE BUCKET! DROP THE BUCKET!
DID HE GET HIM?
IS HE IN? IS HE IN?
Narrator: NOW TEAM TURTLE HAS ONE ORNERY OTTER
CORNERED IN THE BAIT SHED.
[ SCREECHING ]
THIS THING MAY LOOK CUTE,
BUT LET ME TELL YOU, IT'S VICIOUS.
STING LIKE A BUTTERFLY, FLOAT LIKE A BEE,
OR IT'S THE OTHER WAY AROUND WITH THIS THING.
[ SCREECHING ]
I'VE CAUGHT EVERY KIND OF CRITTER THERE IS --
BOBCATS, RACCOONS, SNAKES.
I STILL HAVEN'T NEVER CAUGHT AN OTTER.
[ SCREECHING ]
THIS THING IS MAKING NOISES I AIN'T NEVER HEARD.
Narrator: IN THE WILD, OTTERS ARE CHATTY CRITTERS,
COMMUNICATING THROUGH GRUNTS, GROWLS, AND SHRILL WHISTLES
TO SIGNAL DANGER.
[ SCREECHES ]
IT SOUNDS LIKE THE EVIL JOKER.
[ CHATTERS ]
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
OTTERS ARE SO FLEXIBLE.
THEY CAN BEND THEIR BODY INTO A CIRCLE.
THEIR TEETH ARE SO SHARP, THEY COULD CRACK A TURTLE SHELL.
BUDDY, YOU BETTER WATCH.
WATCH YOUR FEET.
[ SCREECHING ]
MAN, THAT'S QUICK DRAW.
[ SCREECHING ]
I WANTED TO CATCH HER IN A NET,
BUT SHE WOULDN'T GET INTO THE WATER.
IT MIGHT AS WELL BEEN IN THERE WITH US SETTING THE TRAP.
[ SCREECHING ]
I TRIED TO USE MY HANDS TO MAKE THE GRAB,
BUT THAT DIDN'T WORK EITHER.
YOU GOT A DIP NET ON THE WALL UP THERE. TRY IT.
Neal: PLAN "A" DIDN'T WORK.
I'M JUST THANKFUL THERE ARE 26 LETTERS IN THE ALPHABET.
[ SCREECHING ]
AH!
HE IS NOT HAVING ANY LUCK.
HEY! AH, MAN!
WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF OPTIONS HERE.
JUNK.
[ SCREECHING ]
Narrator: IN ADDITION TO BEING QUICK MOVERS AND SHARP BITERS,
RIVER OTTERS ARE SMART ENOUGH TO DETECT NEARBY DANGER,
MAKING THEM ESPECIALLY TOUGH TO TRAP.
Ernie: NOTHING SEEMS TO WORK.
MESSY NESSIE, SHE'S JUST TOO SMART.
THIS IS ONE CRITTER THAT I CANNOT GET A NUMBER ON
ON HOW TO GRAB IT.
JAKE, YOU GOT TO COME IN HERE AND HELP ME, BUDDY.
YOU SURE?
TURTLEMAN COMES UP WITH A NEW PLAN.
THE TWO OF US ARE GONNA TRY TO GET THIS THING.
IT'S JUST TOO FAST FOR ONE MAN TO DO ALONE.
I'M IN. SHUT THE DOOR.
THE NET STRAIGHT ON HIM.
TAKE THE CAGE UP,
AND WE'LL SET IT ON THE GROUND.
Ernie: I CAN'T CATCH NESSIE.
THE ONLY WAY TO CATCH IT NOW IS LET IT CATCH ITSELF.
Jake: HERE SHE COMES. SHE'S COMING.
GET THE CAGE! SHUT IT!
[ WHOOPING ]
WHOA, BUDDY!
GOOD JOB, MEN.
WE GOT NESSIE IN THE CAGE.
PHEW.
IT TOOK ALL THE TOOLS IN THE BAIT SHED AND TWO MEN,
BUT NOW WE CAN TAKE MESSY NESSIE TO A SAFE PLACE
WHERE IT WON'T BOTHER ANYONE.
[ SCREECHING ]
HEY, BUDDY. [ WHOOPING ]
WE GOT THIS LOCH NESS MONSTER FOR YOU. LOOK.
IT'S AN OTTER.
Robert: I WAS SURPRISED.
I NEVER REALIZED IT WOULD'VE BEEN AN OTTER.
Y'ALL BOYS ARE WELCOME TO FISH HERE ANYTIME FREE OF CHARGE.
APPRECIATE IT A LOT. THANK YOU.
Narrator: IT'S A NEW DAY, BUT TURTLEMAN AND NEAL
HAVE JUST GOTTEN A CALL FROM A WHOLE NOTHER ERA.
BUDDY, WE GOT AN UNUSUAL CALL TODAY.
FELLA NAMED ED CALLED.
HE RUNS THIS THING CALLED A RENAISSANCE FAIR.
RENAISSANCE?
YEP.
RENAISSANCE?
YEAH, IT'S LIKE A TRAVELLING CARNIVAL FROM OLD TIMES.
'50s? 1950s OR SOMETHING?
WAY OLDER THAN THAT, ERN.
ED'S RENAISSANCE FAIR BRINGS THE FEEL OF MEDIEVAL SCOTLAND
TO BACKWOODS KENTUCKY,
BUT HIS MOST AUTHENTIC REENACTMENT ACTOR
HAS BEEN PLUCKED RIGHT FROM THE FAIRGROUND.
Ed: WE BOUGHT THESE PRIZE PEACOCKS,
AND WE BOUGHT THIS ONE BIG MALE
AND HE HAS THIS BEAUTIFUL PLUMAGE.
WELL, WE LOST HIM, AND WE'VE GOT TO GET THIS PRIZE PEACOCK BACK.
Narrator: NOW TURTLEMAN MUST SCOUR THE FAIRGROUND
AND GET THIS MISSING BIRD SAFELY BACK TO ITS OWNER.
[ CHUCKLES ] PEACOCK RESCUE.
CAN THEY FLY, ERNIE?
YES, THEY CAN.
THEY FASTER THAN LIGHTNING, BUDDY.
I MEAN, THEY CAN MOVE.
WE DON'T HAVE NO BIG AERIAL NETS OR NOTHING.
I DON'T KNOW HOW WE'RE GONNA DO THIS.
THINK WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO CALL
THE WHOLE TURTLE TEAM IN ON THIS ONE.
IT'S TURTLEMAN, THE TURTLE KING, TO RESCUE A PEACOCK.
[ WHOOPING ]
YEAH.
GOT TO GET THE WHOLE TURTLE TEAM TOGETHER
BECAUSE PEACOCK, THEY'RE A FAST BIRD.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE JAKE IS.
NEAL'S TRYING TO CALL HIM,
AND SQUIRREL, HE HAS NO CLUE.
I AIN'T SEEN A HIDE AND HAIR OF JAKE NOWHERE.
WELL, WE JUST GONNA HAVE TO GET DOWN THROUGH THERE.
WELCOME TO OUR FAIR VILLAGE OF BRIARWOOD.
Ernie: ALL THESE KNIGHTS FIGHT DRAGONS
AND ALL THESE ELVES AND CREATURES
ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MYTHS AND LEGENDS.
THEY ALL COME TRUE RIGHT HERE AT THIS RENAISSANCE PLACE.
THERE HE IS.
TURTLEMAN.
WE CALLED YOU BECAUSE WE BROUGHT IN A BUNCH OF PEACOCKS.
AND WE GOT SOMETHING RUNNING THEM OFF.
WE GOT THE HENS, BUT THE PRIZE MALE IS THE ONE THAT'S GONE.
YOU SEE AROUND YOU, WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WOODS,
AND WE GOT COYOTES AND *** AND POSSUMS.
OUT IN THE WOODS, THIS PEACOCK IS FAIR GAME.
HE'LL NEVER MAKE IT.
ANYTHING YOU GUYS NEED, LET ME KNOW.
WE'LL FIND HIM OUT THERE.
APPRECIATE IT.
WOW, I DON'T KNOW WHICH WAY TO GO.
WHERE DO WE START LOOKING?
WE GOT A LOT OF AREA TO COVER
TRYING TO FIND WHICH WAY THE PEACOCK WENT.
PEOPLE ARE DRESSED WEIRD AND THEY'RE TALKING WEIRD.
I'M MARQUISE ZANY FROM ZANZABAR, AT YOUR SERVICE.
AND I'M WONDERING WHAT IN THE WORLD'S GOING ON.
AND THEN, ALL OF A SUDDEN...
WAIT A MINUTE, GUYS.
WHOA. WHOA.
I KNOW THAT HAT ANYWHERE.
JAKE, WHAT ARE YOU IN, DUDE?
Jake: THERE'S ONLY ONE TYPE OF PERSON
THAT DON'T LIKE THE RENAISSANCE FAIR,
AND THAT'S THE PEOPLE THAT NEVER BEEN, 'CAUSE THEY'RE AWESOME.
Neal: I SEE JAKE'S GOT THAT WIZARD STAFF.
NOW I KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING WHEN HE'S NOT WITH US.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH A DRESS ON?
IT'S NOT A DRESS, ERNIE. IT'S A KILT.
A WHAT?
A KILT.
IT KILT ME. [ killed]
[ LAUGHTER ]
Jake: THESE GUYS CAN LAUGH IT UP ALL THEY WANT.
IT'S A GREAT TIME.
TRIED TO CALL YOU ALL DAY.
YOU DON'T HAVE A PHONE IN MEDIEVAL TIMES.
THEY THINK THESE REN FAIRS ARE SILLY.
CHECK THIS OUT.
ALL RIGHT.
LIVE ACTION.
IT'S A SHIELD.
BY THE END OF THE DAY, THEY'RE GONNA BE IN KILTS.
I GUESS IT AIN'T ALL BAD.
THANK YOU, BUDDY.
WELL, WE FOUND JAKE.
NOW WE GOT TO FIND THIS HERE PEACOCK.
Narrator: COMING UP...
HUZZAH!
TEAM TURTLE BUCKLES TO THE PLEASURES OF A BYGONE ERA.
WHOO-WEE!
CAN TURTLEMAN RESCUE THE PRIZE PEACOCK
ALL ON HIS OWN?
[ SQUAWKS ]
[ WHOOPING ]
Narrator: AT A LOCAL RENAISSANCE FAIR,
TEAM TURTLE IS SEARCHING FOR A MISSING PEACOCK.
YOU AIN'T SEEN NO PEACOCK SINCE YOU'VE BEEN HERE?
I AIN'T SEEN A PEACOCK.
MAN, THIS PLACE IS JUST TOO BIG, ERNIE.
Ernie: THIS PLACE IS SO BIG, WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO SPLIT UP
TO GET THE INVESTIGATION GOING RIGHT.
I KNOW WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING...
HUZZAH!
...BUT THERE ARE TOO MANY WONDERFUL THINGS
AT THIS REN FAIR.
Squirrel: WHOO-WEE!
Ernie: MY WHOLE TEAM IS WORKING PRETTY HARD.
THEY'RE SEARCHING THE REN FAIR.
I'M THINKING IF I WAS A PEACOCK, WHERE WOULD I HIDE?
Narrator: HUNGRY PEACOCKS TEND TO PECK FOR BUGS AND PLANTS
WHERE THERE'S PEACE AND QUIET,
MAKING THIS ENCHANTED FOREST JUST THE PLACE
TO SEARCH FOR THE FLIGHTY CRITTER.
Ernie: I GET DOWN TO THE MUD PIT AND I'M LOOKING AT THE TRACKS.
THE BIRD HAS DEFINITELY BEEN HERE
BECAUSE IT'S GOT ITS TRACKS GOING ACROSS IT.
AND THEN HE STOPPED BY TO EAT SOME OF THESE BERRIES.
FOOD SUPPLY.
THIS PEACOCK HAS BEEN SPOOKED OFF AND RUN OFF.
IF HE'S DOWN IN THE WOODS,
HE MIGHT BE BACK LATER WHEN THERE'S NO PEOPLE AROUND,
SO I'M GONNA HAVE TO WAIT TILL THIS PLACE CLOSES
AND COME BACK WITH A PLAN.
Narrator: WITH THE RENAISSANCE FAIR CLOSED FOR THE DAY,
THERE ARE NO MORE DISTRACTIONS FOR TEAM TURTLE,
AND IT MIGHT JUST BE QUIET ENOUGH
TO COAX THE PEACOCK OUT OF HIDING.
TURTLEMAN FOUND TRACKS, TRAILS, AND A FOOD SOURCE
RIGHT NEAR THIS MESS HALL.
ED'S PEACOCK MUST BE NEARBY.
Ernie: PERFECT PLACE TO CATCH HIM IS RIGHT IN THIS DINNER HALL,
AND IF I ACT LIKE ANOTHER PEACOCK,
HE SURELY, SURELY WILL COME RUNNING.
WE'LL DO SOME CALLS.
HE'LL THINK IT'S ANOTHER PEACOCK TRESPASSING ON HIS TURF.
AND HE AIN'T GONNA HAVE THAT.
[ IMITATES PEACOCK CALL ]
IF I DO LIKE THAT, HE'LL COME RUNNING.
WELL, BUDDY, YOU SOUND JUST LIKE ONE.
I THINK THAT THESE PEACOCKS
HAS GOT A POTENTIAL TO BE DANGEROUS.
Neal: I JUST DON'T CARE MUCH FOR BIRDS.
I'M AFRAID THEY'RE GONNA PLUCK MY EYES OUT.
NOW YOU KNOW, BIRDS LOVE EYEBALLS.
Neal: WHEN TURTLEMAN HAD THAT PIGEON CALL A WHILE BACK,
MY MAIN CONCERN WAS MY EYE.
MY CONCERNS ARE NO DIFFERENT TODAY.
YOU STILL GOT YOUR GLASSES?
Ernie: THIS BIRD, HE'S GONNA COME IN LOOKING FOR A FIGHT.
HE'S GONNA BE MAD AS A DRAGON,
SO I'M GONNA NAME IT DRAGON BIRD.
ERNIE SAYS THE PLAN IS THAT WE'RE GONNA HIDE
INSIDE THIS MESS HALL.
HE'S COVERED HIMSELF UP WITH A KILT.
JAKE'S GONNA HELP HIM CATCH IT.
I'M SUPPOSED TO PULL THE ROPE AND CLOSE THE DOOR
WHEN THE PEACOCK COMES IN, AND SQUIRREL,
HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S TRYING TO LAND A 747 OUT ON A RUNWAY.
THERE WE GO.
HE'S GOT TO BE THE FLAG MAN
TO KEEP HIM FROM GOING THROUGH THE PLEXIGLASS WINDOW.
ME, I'M NOT TAKING ANY CHANCES.
I PUT ON A PAIR OF DARK GLASSES
SO THIS PEACOCK CAN'T PLUCK MY EYES OUT.
Ernie: NEAL'S LOOKING LIKE RAY CHARLES.
I HOPE HE CAN SEE THE BIRD WHEN HE FLIES IN.
ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY BE QUIET, GET IN PLACE.
[ IMITATES PEACOCK CALL ]
I'M SITTING THERE CALLING.
[ IMITATES PEACOCK CALL ]
AND CALLING.
[ IMITATES PEACOCK CALL ]
I GOT ALL MY GUYS QUIET.
AND SUDDENLY...
[ IMITATES PEACOCK CALL ]
...HE COMES FLYING IN.
GET THE DOOR, NEAL.
OKAY, HE'S IN.
HE COMES FLYING IN LOOKING FOR A FIGHT,
LOOKING FOR ANOTHER MALE PEACOCK.
WATCH HIS SPURS.
[ IMITATES PEACOCK CALL ]
BEST WAY TO CALM DOWN A BIRD -- BLOCK THEIR EYES,
TRY TO THROW THE QUILT ON IT AS FAST AS I CAN.
AH, MAN. MISSED HIM.
THE FEATHERS ARE LIKE ITS ARMOR.
IT JUST SLIDES RIGHT OFF.
I DIDN'T KNOW PEACOCKS COULD RUN THAT FAST --
LIKE A LITTLE ROAD RUNNER BIRD.
[ SQUAWKS ]
ERNIE CAN'T HURT THIS BIRD, SO HE'S GOT TO BE CAREFUL,
BUT THE PEACOCK'S STILL LOOKING FOR A FIGHT.
HE'S GOING FOR THE WINDOW.
THIS THING HAS GOT BIG OL' LONG SPURS.
THEY'RE A KNIFE-LIKE PIECE OF BONE
THAT GROWS OUT OF THE BACKS OF THEIR LEGS.
[ SQUAWKS ]
CAREFUL. WATCH HIS SPURS.
IT STARTED OUT BEING A RUNNING BATTLE.
THAT THING WAS HARD TO GRAB FLYING IN THE AIR.
[ SQUAWKS ]
Neal: WATCH OUT, ERNIE. OH, MAN.
Narrator: PEACOCKS' ELABORATE FEATHERED TRAINS
ARE TOO HEAVY FOR LONG FLIGHTS,
BUT THEIR POWERFUL WINGS CAN CARRY THEM UPWARD
IN SPEEDY SPURTS.
Ernie: FLAG HIM DOWN. FLAG HIM DOWN.
IF THIS BIRD FLIES UP IN THE RAFTERS,
I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M GONNA GET IT.
I GOT TO KEEP IT DOWN ON THE GROUND.
THERE YOU GO.
Squirrel: FEATHERS WENT FLYING. HE WENT CRAZY.
OH, IT WAS WILD THERE.
Ernie: HERE HE COMES, JAKE.
WATCH HIM, ERNIE.
I DON'T WANT NO PART OF THIS BIRD.
I'LL BE SO GLAD WHEN THIS JOB'S OVER.
[ SQUAWKS ]
I CAN'T GET AHOLD OF HIM.
HERE HE COMES! HERE HE COMES!
WATCH HIM. WATCH HIM.
WATCH HIM. WATCH HIM.
AND DRAGON FINDS THE ONE MAN IN THE ROOM
WHO DON'T WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM.
NEAL, HE'S HEADED TOWARDS YOU.
OH, GOD.
ERNIE, GET IT! GET IT!
[ WHOOPING ]
Squirrel: NEAL, HE'S HEADED TOWARDS YOU.
Narrator: A PEACOCK NAMED DRAGON HAS FLOWN THE COOP
AT A LOCAL RENAISSANCE FAIR.
OH, GOD. ERNIE.
AND IT'S TURNED THIS CRITTER CALL INTO ONE ROLLICKING RESCUE.
JUST LIKE I THOUGHT, THIS PEACOCK --
THERE'S FOUR GUYS IN THE ROOM, WHO DID IT FLY UP ON? ME.
THIS THING WANTS MY EYEBALLS
JUST LIKE A ZOMBIE WANTS YOUR BRAINS.
ERNIE, GET IT! GET IT!
OH, GOSH!
ALL RIGHT, LOOK OUT. OH!
[ SQUAWKS ]
Jake: THIS BIRD, HE THINKS IT'S A FIGHT.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW, BIG BOY?
HE HAS NO IDEA WE'RE HERE TO SAVE IT.
GET HIM, ERNIE. GET HIM.
OH! NOT AGAIN. NOT AGAIN.
THERE HE GOES.
Ernie: HE GETS UP THERE UNDER THAT ONE LITTLE AREA.
THAT'S ONE OF MY ONLY CHANCE WAS TO GRAB IT RIGHT THEN.
Jake: OH, HE'S GOT ERNIE.
I FINALLY GET MY QUILT OVER IT
AND WRAP UP HIS TAIL AND ALL AND HIS WINGS.
GET DRAGON IN THE BAG.
TIE HIM UP, BUDDY.
ALL RIGHT, WE GOT HIM. [ WHOOPING ]
LIVE ACTION.
[ WHOOPING ]
Squirrel: GOOD JOB.
GOOD JOB, GUYS.
GOT THE TURTLEMAN TURTLE HUG ON IT.
IT'S GOING BACK TO ED.
ED NEEDS TO BUILD A BIG BIRD CAGE,
AND YOU KNOW, PEOPLE DON'T GET SO CLOSE TO HIM.
HEY, WE GOT HIM, ED.
HEY, MAN.
GLAD TO SEE YOU, BUDDY, ED.
ALL RIGHT.
THE TURTLEMAN CAME IN, HE GOT MY PRIZE PEACOCK BACK.
IT MEANS A LOT FOR HIM TO BE BACK.
WE'D REALLY LIKE TO HAVE YOU GUYS COME BACK
AND HAVE THE KING KNIGHT YOU.
Ernie: HE GONNA CALL ME SIR TURTLEMAN.
WOW.
SIR KNIGHT! HOORAH!
Jake: HUZZAH!
Squirrel: THERE WE GO.
[ HORN HONKS ]
Jake: I TOLD THEM, BY THE END OF THE DAY,
"I'M GONNA HAVE ALL OF YOU IN A KILT."
LOOK WHAT HAPPENS.
DEEP WITHIN YOUR HEART AND SOUL,
YOU WISH TO BECOME A KNIGHT.
Neal: HE PUT THE SWORD ON EITHER SIDE.
NEXT THING YOU KNOW, THE FAT MAN'S A KNIGHT.
Man: I MAKE YOU A KNIGHT OF BRIARWOOD.
STAND TO BE RECOGNIZED.
Ernie: BEING KNIGHTED IS LIKE BEING A WARRIOR.
FEEL LIKE A NEW MAN.
I GIVE YOU SIR TURTLEMAN.
HIP, HIP!
All: HUZZAH!
[ WHOOPING ]
HUZZAH!
[ WHOOPING ]
LIVE ACTION!
"CALL OF THE WILDMAN" CONTINUES ONLINE.
VISIT animalplanet.com/wildman FOR DELETED SCENES AND MORE.
[ WHOOPING ] LIVE ACTION.