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Remember the 80's?
This is especially for all you guys out there
I don't know if you had this experience but... remember those little
footie pajamas
those cute little *bleep*
Zippiddy...Zip...Zip Zip. Okay
and they had the cool prints. You could get like the Dinosaur ones
You could get the Ninja Turtle ones...
they had like He-Man if you was doing it like that. You know what I'm sayin.
You could get what you needed in them footie pajamas.
my kids
my kid
my child
doesn't know about footie pajamas. And she's a girl so she really
don't know
about
*bleep* Footie
Pajamas
all right so this is how it starts
get out of the bathtub... what are you like 3. Woot woot
fresh bath
getting ready for bed
oh hey what's up mom
hey how you doing? I'm getting dressed? Okay cool ummm
you got my pajamas? Oh dinosaur pajamas! Those are my favorite. I love dinosaurs
You know I like the Ninja Turtles too
but the dinosaur ones will work tonight
okay so...she's like alright put your foot in. You put your foot in & your like mom I love these new
pajamas. She's like yea I bought them for you.Got them at K-Mart
We are in the 80's
remember K-Mart???
So you put one foot in... you put the other foot in
and she's like stand up
were going to zip it up and get your
arms in. And your like
you put your arm in. Then you put your other arm in
and your like WOOT
I got on my night gear son!
Red dinosaur blue dinosaur
You see these dinosaur's? Cause I'm a ***!
And I'm gonna sleep in this *bleep* too. Woot.
and your like...this is good. This is real good. I look you mom your doing this
right.
And then there is like one more spot
She's like "alright let's zip them up". Cool
let's zip this *bleep* up. Let's do this
Flintstones is coming on in a minute
Charlie Brown special. Let's do it.
Ziiiiiiiip ... ahhhhhhhh!!!! (scream)
what just happened there
Your *bleep* got zipped!
Welcome to the 80's.
what happened was is your mom does not have a ***
so for her first time zipping you up, second, third or
as many times it happened she fails to
remember you have a *bleep* appendage
sticking out
between your legs called your *bleep*!
And when she zips up
real fast
your *bleep* hits that zipper
and she zips right over your... *bleep*!
Remember that?
Remember nineteen eighties child
Do you remember that
and and then so like you are screaming... your yelling your like
looking down like and you can see your zipped. You got your dope pajamas on!
Your looking down. And your seeing your zipped... your zipped
and you look down
and your zipped
but your *bleep*! is sticking out of the zipper
above and below
this makes you scream just a little bit more
And soo while your screaming for your life
because let me reiterate you just watched your *bleep*
get zipped up umm
mom hits you with something else! She's like "baby calm down it will be okay". Your screaming ahhhh
looking down you got a little bit of blood
you don't even know what your *bleep* is at point but
this *bleep* hurts! Okay...
it hurts. So
mom's got one more thing for you. She's l'ike
um... "baby calm down, calm down it's going to be okay
just one more thing".
ahh ahh! what mom what we gotta do! Help me mom... help me! Baby... I
gotta go down
to get it out
WTF you talking about!
Ahhhh!!! You gotta go back down over my *bleep* to get my *bleep* out?!
Yea baby hold on tight...hold on tight. Ah! No! Don't do that *bleep*.
Don't do that!
It's going to be okay.
It's going to be okay. I promise it's not going to hurt like before. I'm gonna do it right. I'm going to get it out.
Okay... You promise? You promise?!
She goes. She tries her best and she ends up... Zip Ahhh!!!
zipping your *bleep* down.
So after she zipped up your *bleep*
She's got to unzip it.
Now your screaming for your life and these footie pajamas *bleep* suck okay. These
dinosaurs can become
extinct for all I *bleep* care.
Take this *bleep* in the burn pit
and show these dinosaurs where they belong, Turn that *bleep* into oil.
I never want to see those *bleep* pajamas for as long as this *bleep* face lives do you understand me mom?!
I won't do it again baby.
I won't do it again. I'm sorry I didn't know. This and that... but you wanna know what she probably
did it again.
because she's not perfect and she's a *bleep* human being and sometimes people are in a hurry. Annnd.... Your *BLEEP* got Zipped.