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Week three. I can't say I'm feeling a heap different, but I have been thinking about
why I'm depressed as well as just being depressed. So that's a change. Mary, my psych, talked
to me today about antidepressants.. It's full on. I guess my face must have said it all 'cause
she went off on some spiel about having all as bad as you might imagine. Gave me some
pamphlets to read. I just kind of sat there saying nothing for ages.
And then she started to explain how depression messes with the chemicals in your brain that
allow you to live your normal life like sleeping, eating, not thinking about *** you know you've
gone over a thousand times already and how the problem gets made worse because if you
become an insomniac like me and not sleeping also screws with your ability to think straight.
So basically I'm a lot of whack up here. Man, I mean, medicated? I just don't know if I can
handle that. How will I know if I'm only different because of the meds? And what if when I come
off them I just go straight back down again? And whoever gets off antidepressants? I guess,
I just have to read up on them and talk to my doctor about it. You can only get them
from doctors anyway. Psychologists can't prescribe them. Oh, but really... I just don't know
if I can be bothered.