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You know that dirty-looking guy
who buys beer, drugs and a chopped sandwich
at ten in the morning?
The kind of guy you wait to come out
before you go to rob the store?
Well, that slacker guy's me
My name is CJ
And if you took the time to really get to know me
instead of just stereotyping me because of the way i look
you'd be wasting your time,
because I'm exactly who you think I am:
I'm a ***
I work robbing gas stations and blowing up everything I can
I live in Fort Carson,
a town in the San Andreas's desert
and if you had not noticed,
I'm not black.
I lived in a trailer park,
until I lost my trailer.
After the accident I was a week living in my neighbor's garden.
And I used their flowerpots as bathroom.
Lucky for me that day I heard that my aunt Enrique had died
and she had left her home in heritage.
Well, is better than nothing
I hope not smash it
I watch TV.
Lucky for me My name is Earl is on.
"...Do bad things and it'll come back to haunt you."
"-Is deep, Earl."
"So why don't you stop hogging them Vicodins?"
"We can chat about that for a while."
"-I'm talking about karma."
Karma
That's when I realised I had to change.
I was wondering whether it would be best left to steal and behave well
I had spent years *** outside the flowerpot.
And I had spent one week *** outside of my neighbor's flowerpot literally.
A place where I think well is the ***.
But when I went over there, I found karma
Hell, I nearly died.
***, they should withdraw his driver's license to drunks train drivers.
If I do not want to lose my new house, or something worse happens to me,
I'd better make a list of everything bad I've done.
After hours thinking I made a list of 150 bad deeds.
Number 150: I *** the owner's donkey because he would not give me a lighter
Now I just have to comply with all before death.
It's easy.
which should I cross first?
Maybe the number 39:
I hit a cop without any reason
Well, he hit me back, so I can cross it off.
That's remember me the number 77: Stole a cop bike.
I don't have nothing against the police
but some years ago I stole one of their bikes.
Thank goodness I kept the bike in the garage of my deceased aunt.
Since I hardly remember
Luckily the bike still running
I left it at the police station and crossed out on my list
but when I went, I remembered that I used the bike for another crime.
I loaded gasoline and went without pay
that is the number 102 on my list.
When I went to the gas station that had stolen so many times,
I learned that they had closed.
They had moved to the outskirts of the city because the opening of fast food restaurant had ruined
I'd better go to pay
Hello gas man
***, call me Agapito, that's my name
I come to pay for gas once stole
Are you ***?
No, I want to pay to not be homeless
Are you crazy?
Hell no, I give you twenty dollars and we forget all? Ok?
No, you can't pay for nothing.
Well, I will buy a bag of stale Doritos then.
Ok?
***, are 2 bucks
I give you twenty-two and you stay with the 20 bucks as a tip
Well, do you leave balls
I can finally cross out number 102 on my list
***
Well, this does not add to the list, because otherwise I will never end
、astard, my gas station!
I'd better engage in other wrongdoing. Number 3: I *** out of my neighbor's flowerpot.
The End
This outtake is real.
the voice was added after.
A place where I think well is the ***.
Whoawe# �&|@~$sadaefucmwe ;uck!
a flying car