Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
BOOOOONNNGGGGG!
Welcome to episode two of COMPUTO OBSCURIO!
I'm LimpingFish, and this is FZ Senki Axis, developed by Wolf Team for the Sharp X68000, and released in 1990.
If you're familiar with Wolf Team, you're probably also aware of their propensity for opening their games with elaborate, anime-style cinematics.
FZ Senki Axis is no different, and while it may not be among Wolf Team's best intro sequences, it can safely claim to be one of its longest.
Uh oh.
Ominous ticking.
Mechs!
Bomb!
Okay...
You made it out. Hooray!
But all your friends died. Boo!
Sneaky enemy mechs.
Better take them out.
Now to slowly trundle towards them.
Yeah.
Sick donut, and I'm outta here!
Meanwhile...
Pretty lady is sad.
Purple = Evil.
Time for a quiet moment.
Is that a Kleenex?
Oh.
Is it all happening inside his head!
Hint: It isn't.
About time!
Take note of the fact that I'm playing this on easy.
First things first.
You have multiple weapons to choose from, and the ability to equip two at a time.
Any weapon set as your main weapon will have infinite ammo.
When set as your option weapon, though, all weapons will be subject to finite ammo levels.
Also, the size of your arsenal is directly linked to how much of your lifebar is left.
Confused yet?
Your mech has the ability to move and fire in eight directions.
Holding down a fire button allows you to strafe, while tapping twice in any direction will result in your thrusters kicking in.
The object of this opening level is to destroy a number of these fat tanks, and some helicopters that will show up in a bit.
At this stage, let me just state that I really, really dislike the helicopters.
Oh, you'll see why.
That's them!
They're hard to hit, and they tend to disappear once they drop off the screen.
You also find yourself at the mercy of smaller enemies while you're faffing around with the Helicopters.
It makes the already slippery controls feel awkward and clumsy.
To be honest, this isn't an easy game, even when setting the difficulty to its lowest.
The background is on an infinite loop, which makes actual navigation feel very random.
You might also find yourself running into stray enemy bullets; a frustratingly common occurence.
In case you were wondering, I have six helicopters left to kill.
And now I'm down to warning health.
Stop shooting at me!
Bullets. Slow, but deadly.
Wait. Where am I?
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
A Sega Megadrive port of FZ Senki Axis would later see a release in the US, under the title "Final Zone".
Localized and published by Renovation, it was more or less...inferior.
I'll be looking at some of Wolf Team's other home computer releases in future episodes.
If I manage to get past this one, that is.
*** it! I'm just gonna head straight down until I see some helicopters.
***.
Wait! There's a helicopter!
Come back, you ***!
Yes!
And a single-bar health pick-up. Score.
Those shadows perform bombing runs down main-street once you have a certain number of enemies left to kill.
Another single bar of health?! Really?!
Two helicopters. Twice the hate.
Hold still, you slimy ***!
Just a heads up: I do actually complete this level, and I did manage to see the opening nanoseconds of level two.
There was a train.
This video will climax with my triumphant victory over the hateful helicopters, though.
Wherever they are.
Down to a single bar of energy again.
Unexpected helicopter!
Run away!
Before I forget...
See? All my weapons are gone, even though I never actually used them. Awesome.
FZ Senki Axis doesn't seem to be a bad game, though, awkward controls aside.
It's just that I get a nagging sense of unfairness when playing it.
Let's be diplomatic, and call it a challenge.
And so, as I chase down this last feckin' helicopter, I'd like to thank you for watching this second episode of Computo Obscurio. I hope you enjoyed it.
Check back next week for more madness.
And less helicopters.
I am winner!