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Hi, this is Ralph Zuranski. I'm on the phone with Frank Garon. He's an outspoken webmaster
of the widely successful Internet Cash Planet. He is a former bankrupt truck driver and he
pulls no punches about what you need to know right now to make your internet business a
success. Frank treats his readers like family, going
out of his way to help them any way he can. He's got a great newsletter and I've been
a subscriber for a long time. It's just like conversing with a friend. I've had the opportunity
to listen to Frank at a number of different seminars that I've taken photos at.
Frank really lays it on the line and tells people in a straightforward simple way on
what they need to do to be successful on the internet. How are you doing today, Frank?
Hey Ralph, I'm doing great. Thanks for having me here and I'm looking forward to help get
the message out to your people. I really appreciate you taking your valuable
time to answer the Hero questions. I wanted to ask you the first one. What is your definition
of heroism? I probably have two different definitions.
One, heroism would be anybody that does the right thing under any circumstances without
seeking any reward, just because it's the right thing to do. In today's day and age,
it is kind of heroic when people stay the course and do the right thing without any
gain or without anybody watching them. I think that is heroic, because day to day
we face challenges that test our spirit, our strength, and in reality, our soul. And every
time each one of us comes back with a great way to treat another person or the right thing
to do, even if it causes us a little bit of trouble to do it, I think that is something
to be celebrated and recognized in some way as heroism.
The second way I would define heroism is anybody that overcomes adversity in their lives and
remains positive and optimistic. I'd also like to combine that with somebody that -- I
mean obviously, the standard definition of heroism is somebody that lays down their life
or puts their life in jeopardy to help or save somebody else.
So I don't know if that is two and half definitions, Ralph, or three, but it's a little bit more
than the two I promised. Yeah, well that really covers the spectrum
of heroism. Did you ever create a secret hero in your mind that helped you deal with life's
difficulties? I guess one way of answering that is to say
my grandmother on my mom's side was my hero, my role model in life. She raised a total
of five kids on her own. She had two husbands. The first one got stabbed to death in front
of her. The second one was a drunken bum. And this was in the forties, going into the
fifties that she had to deal with all this. She kept the family together. She kept a house.
She kept the kids together. One daughter died tragically. Another son died and a third son
has been institutionalized most of his adult life. Yet, she always smiled. She always had
a kind word. She never really complained, even though she had more reason to complain
than a hundred other people. She was awesome to her grandkids. She was
supportive and understanding right up until the bitter end. So her and maybe to a little
lesser extent, my grandparents on my dad's side - those are my heroes. I prefer real
life heroes rather than sports figures or Hollywood heroes or whatever.
Did you ever create a secret hero inside your mind? A lot of times people go through difficulties
in their lives and they develop what I call a right brain hero or character inside their
brain that's always encouraging them and telling them that they can be successful and overcome
difficult obstacles that everybody has to face.
I would have to say I haven't done it. My conscious mind is too busy yelling at me to
keep me on track. There's probably not room for an imaginary friend in my brain right
now. [Laughter] Well, what is your perspective
on goodness, ethics, and moral behavior? I'm a big fan of all three. I can't get enough
of them. How would we define that? Well, my perspective is the right thing to do IS the
right thing to do, and that's why they call it that. It is the right thing to do. I can
only worry about myself and where I'm headed and what I'm teaching my two kids.
My son is four and half. My daughter's nineteen. My thing is no matter how big I am on the
internet, no matter how much money I make, no matter where I go business-wise, none of
it matters if I'm not good and kind, if I don't have ethics, if I don't conduct myself
morally. I think my perspective is I try to live everyday with keeping that in the forefront
of my mind. I wish I could say I do a better job at that
than I'm currently doing. We should always seek to strive to do better. But I'm concerned
about it and I want to live it. Like I say, I know what I'm supposed to be doing. My view
is if you know it's the right thing to do, then you should be moving towards that and
working towards that at all times. I guess that's the best way for me to define
the way I view myself. And I do. I hold myself responsible. I hold myself accountable, not
only to myself, but to God. I'm going to be pretty disappointed if I fall over dead tomorrow
and I get yelled at for not doing as good as I could. I'm always looking to do better
and I'm honest. I'm honest. I'm not perfect. I am fallible.
I do need improvement and that's why I really don't judge other people. I guess that's why
probably I'm able to treat my readers so good, because I know what I feel and I know what
I go through. And maybe I have a few extra breaks.
Thank God for the internet. I'm well connected. I have a mind for business. I'm home full-time.
People come to me with opportunities. So I'm able to take advantage of things that maybe
in some ways the average person can't. So I figure if I'm having challenges and problems
and obstacles in life, then people that are just getting to where I'm getting or not quite
there yet, must have even more. Again, why not have compassion and understanding for
them. Plus, on top of it, getting at a spiritual
mode and getting in a capitalist mode. Quite frankly, if I don't treat everybody else right,
they have no reason to do business with me. As we spoke privately before this call, I'm
here for the money. I am here for the money. I'm here to get a few million in the bank;
take care of my kids; make sure that I'm set for life. And then I'm off to do charity work,
volunteer work, and philanthropic work. That's where my heart's called. That's where my I
think my true fulfillment in life is going to lie and I definitely feel called to it.
I need cash in order to be able to do that. How you get cash is by serving other people
and doing the right thing. So, even if it didn't come naturally for me, which thank
goodness it does, from a business standpoint, it just makes a lot of sense.
Boy, that's so true. What principles are you willing to sacrifice your life for? I know
that there's a real question about real heroism. Like somebody, there's a burning building
and just on the sake of adrenalin, they race into the burning building and either die or
pull somebody out. But then there's the other idea of sacrificing
your life for a principle or sacrificing your life for somebody that's sick in your family.
What do you think about that? I guess I won't know until I'm tested. And
we could actually do a whole call on that. Don't ask me how I know, Ralph, but I just
know. On a very deep level, at some point in my life, I'm going to be called accountable
for protecting or saving somebody that could die without my help.
And I don't know if it's car accident, plane crash, burning building, mugging, I don't
even know. I just know that at some point I am going to be called accountable for that.
And I'm going to have to make a decision at that moment in time.
And at that moment in time, my character, all my talking, all my telling other people
what's the good thing to do and how they should do it, and all my truth about how I think
I'm trying to raise my kids is going to be called into account. And that's where the
real tire is going to hit the real road. So the answer is I won't know until I get
there. I like to believe I would lay it down for my fellow man, even if I didn't know them.
If they were in peril, I don't think, Ralph, I could walk away from a burning building
knowing that people were inside of it. When I drove a truck, I drove over a million
miles commercially. I saw accidents routinely. There were several that happened right in
front of me that I did stop at to help and so forth. Certainly, my kids -- I mean I'd
die this second if it meant having my kids safe and protected. I mean that's automatic.
That's the most primitive sort of brain function I have is to protect my kids, and to protect
my views and beliefs. I mean, I don't know. I'm pretty opinionated. I never did back down
as a kid from somebody else that said, "You're stupid," or "You're crazy," or "This won't
work," or "That can't work." I guess one way of saying it is that there's not really a
lot that I'm afraid of. I guess we'll see what happens when it happens,
but there's not a lot I'm worried about. I think if anything, I'm worried about dying
before I've fulfilled what I'm supposed to do, which is really helping other people,
really making a difference, through, like I say, volunteer work and so forth. That and
my kids getting hurt, are probably the only two things that I'm afraid of.
The only third thing would be if they stop making pizza and vanilla ice cream. That would
probably have me wanting to move to another planet, Ralph. Those are two of my staple
foods, I'm happy to say. You've had some real ups and downs in your
life. What was the lowest point in your life and how did you change your life path to one
of victory over the obstacles? Well, you know what, Ralph? Who's to say that
I'm not at the lowest point in my life right now? If I was able to look back and look at
my entire life history and how the story ends, that's one way I look at it.
I like to look at it as I'm not in as good of shape and I'm not as happy and I'm not
as healthy and well-rounded and successful as I am going to be tomorrow. Because, like
I say, I try to work on continuous improvement. On the other hand, it is also important to
know where I came from. I think going bankrupt was pretty low. That was pretty low. I think
when my grandmother on my dad's side died on Christmas day 1980 -- that was pretty low.
I think choosing to leave my previous marriage, knowing that I would never raise (then Frankie
wasn't even two years old), knowing that the decision that I was making that was "best"
for all of us, was a decision that would have me not under the same roof as him to love
him and protect him and kiss him goodnight every night.
I'd honestly have to say that that one right there, now that I think about it, that was
a low point. There's not too much lower than you can get, than saying, "Alright, this relationship
is very unhealthy. If I stay, it's going to destroy my son, too. Teach him bitterness,
and anger, and spite, and fighting and things like that. So I'll just be a man about it
and leave, so he can live a better life." I've got to say, that was not a good day,
Ralph. I laid on the floor and I cried once my ex-wife and my son drove away. I felt like
my world ended. I would still make that decision again at that moment in time. That would be
my answer. How did you recover from that? That's pretty
devastating when your family falls apart and your son leaves. I think that our family and
our friends, that's where the greatest joys and sorrows of our life are.
From your mouth to God's ears, Ralph. So how did you recover? Was there anybody
that helped you, or did God help you, or positive thinking? Because everybody goes through situations
like that, I don't know anybody that isn't having difficulties in some relationships
in their lives. And they're always questioning what's going on in their lives. What did you
do? To be honest with you, I just worked through
it. I just worked through it. I mean my heart still hurts, but the show goes on. The weird
thing about things like that is every day that goes by, your heart recovers even if
it's almost immeasurable, to a very, very small extent, your heart recovers and you
are able to move on. I guess it just happens one day at a time.
Like now, when he still comes out for the weekend. I get him for a full weekend, now
that he's older. He likes to do stuff. And I'll tell you what -- I still cry after I
drop him off at his mom's. I mean, that's my kid, that's my blood. I made 50% of him.
I'm 50% responsible for the rest of his life. And to just drop him off. I mean, his mom,
Marie, she's a wonderful mom. She's devoted her life to him. I don't have anything but
good things to say about her. But at the same point, not being there, I don't care who's
in charge of him. I don't care if God's in charge of him while I'm not there; you're
still going to worry about it. That's what parents do.
That's true. That's the only way I can put it. And on top
of that, I've got a nineteen year old that's going into her second year of college. She's
a thousand miles away down in Florida. She's gorgeous, five eight, tall, gorgeous body,
legs that go on forever. And I'm like, "Oh, great. I've got a supermodel
for a daughter." And here she is -- a thousand miles away. Don't know who she's with. Don't
know who's got designs on her. But all I can do is trust her.
Come to think of it, Ralph, my kids stress me. They're supposed to be fun -- yeah! I
don't know what happened there. I think probably every parent can make that
statement. They're supposed to get easier as they grow
up. The nineteen year old has me more stressed than the four and a half year old. He's a
walk in the park compared to that one. The only thing I can tell you for sure is
your kids will always be with you, no matter what age you are.
This call is bringing me down, Ralph. Suddenly, I want my mommy. I don't know what just happened.
What's your dream or vision that sets the course of your life? Is it the idea of generating
enough income so that you can work philanthropically full-time by helping others?
Oh, absolutely. I guess threefold. Number one, my dream would be to finally get to some
point of homeostasis where I feel like I've gotten the whole 'kindness' and 'do unto others'
and 'Golden Rule' and 'do the right thing' down to a science.
In other words, it's automatic. I have to say that right now I still walk in this world,
so I'm definitely not perfect. I would absolutely like to do better. So that would be number
one. I'd love to get to that point. Number two is I would like to get to the point
in a relationship where it was healthy and loving and productive and everything was talked
out and dealt with honestly and openly, rather than via yelling and anger, or even be emotionally
shutting down. To me that can be just as deadly. Then the third thing would be to have that
kind of money where I've got millions in the bank and I can just cut a check for some kid
in the inner city that's getting good grades, but he needs to get out of the hood. Or there's
a village in Paraguay that just got washed away in a mudslide. I'd like to cut the check
and say, "Here people. Do what needs to be done."
I think out of everything, being able to do that would probably take care of the other
stuff. If you're in a position to give like that, I think the universe is going to give
back to you and you'll reap so much more than you give. If I could only pick one of the
three, I think it would be serving other people. Really, without that, you could be Simon Legree
and what do you have? I've been alone at Christmas and I had a few options. I chose to be alone.
Even by choice, that stinks. I would never want to be in a position where money meant
more to me than people. On the other hand, you know me. You know I'm
a capitalist. It takes money to make money and it takes money to make changes. I'm absolutely
not money adverse. And I don't particularly want to be poor, and I hope I'm never poor.
I like being comfortable just like the next person.
I guess it's the serving and the wanting to help people. If that costs me money to be
able to do that, hopefully I'll be okay with that fact if it ever hits that point.
Now, everybody experiences setbacks and misfortunes and makes mistakes in their lives. How important
is it to have a positive view of those things? I might be the wrong person to ask, Ralph,
because sometimes I still get down and frustrated. [inaudible]
Just when it rains, now it's going to start pouring awesome. Can't I get a break here?
I don't know that I'm the most qualified to [inaudible]
How about being an optimist? What do you think about being an optimist?
I can tell you what I'd like to do and what I do do sometimes. It is to keep moving, keep
trying, and you only fail when you quit. That much I can honestly say. You only fail when
you quit. I've gone bankrupt. I've had tax issues due to the marriage that are only now
being settled, and still aren't totally settled. There are just things that happen. My thing
is that if I quit now, number one that is pretty stupid because I don't know how the
story ends. Number two, it's like, well I came this far, why would I bail now? Its decent
now, but I want to get to great. So quitting now, I would have had a decent
life. By keeping on moving, I have every chance of having a great life. And again, I don't
mean that in a selfish way. I'm just being honest. And I define great as being a fulfillment
of the goals that I seek to achieve. So I'm just like, "Okay, that kind of stinks."
I'm using words you can use in public here. But then I just keep going. I'm like a human
cockroach. You're not going to kill me. You're not going to keep my down. Drop a thousand
bombs on me, I might need to recover a little bit, but I am not going down and staying down.
Personally, I refuse to anymore. I refuse to.
Well, you changed to a lot of different paths in your life, in going from truck driver to
MLM to the internet, and to an assortment of all the different business opportunities
that are out there. Does it take a lot of courage to pursue new ideas and new business
opportunities? I would imagine in some circumstances it does.
However, truth be told in my case, most of it was for capitalistic reasons. In other
words, when I left truck driving and got into network marketing [inaudible] that was the
first arena that I dabbled in. I still do have a residual income from that.
Quite frankly, it was for capitalistic reasons and the fact that here was a way to get out
of a job that I was going to wind up strangling my boss at if I stayed there. I wish I could
say that took courage, but maybe another way of saying it was it took faith. I've always
kind of just laughed. Maybe that's a rhetorical statement, or a
chicken and egg statement. Does it take courage? Does it take nerve? Does it take bravado?
Are they the same thing described, you know worded differently? Is that courage? Is it
something on a more primal level? Is it something you don't think about? Is it your inner voice
or something spiritual guiding you? I guess on that one, I really don't know,
but I definitely knew there was opportunity moving forward. And I definitely knew there
was not opportunity staying put. Each time I made a move.
There are not many moves I've regretted. I would even say that the marriage and the divorce
-- because if I had never met my ex, I never would have had Frankie. So all the pain that
I went through there - If you said to me, "Hey, Frank. You don't have to go through
that pain. Maybe you'll marry this girl and have a happy family instead, and whatever.
But this particular child won't be born." Yeah, I guess I'd still go through it again.
I honestly wouldn't even have to think about that. So I tell you all that to say some of
it is courage. It has to be courage, because anybody that moves or makes changes has to
deal with it courageously on some level. But I want to be up front and say I was also there
to make the money. I was also there to make the creature comfort
improvements. And I was also there to better myself. Better myself financially.
So do you think it's important to have the courage to believe in your dreams, that they
will eventually become reality? A lot of times people around you, they try to kill your dreams.
They're sort of locked into where they're at and it's just incredibly hard for them
to move anywhere. And you have dreams, whether they're caused
by your life being so miserable, you've got to make changes or opportunities look so great,
you can't not help but make that change because you want to have a better life. What do you
think about that? I will say I think it takes courage for the
average person to dare to dream different dreams and to dare to do better and dare to
be stronger and smarter and live a life that most people... I mean 99.9% of the people
out there in the world are going to tell you you're crazy for doing this.
The internet is all scam. Network marketing is a pyramid scheme. "What are you? One of
those spammers?" "Do you own a *** site?" All the stupid things people say, instead
of not saying anything, or instead of saying something supportive.
It takes courage to face all that and to keep moving. That's one thing I try to keep in
mind right now. If I've got to be honest, I'm a little bit more stubborn, and I'm a
little more opinionated than the average person. At least I feel anyway.
When I was driving a tractor trailer, and I'd hand somebody one of my tapes that I was
listening to, or whatever, and I'd say, "Here. Check this out. Here's what I'm doing. Here's
what I'm in to. Here's what I'm going to do in life."
And they say, "That's all garbage. None of that works."
I always thought they were the nutty ones and that I was on the right track. I felt
bad for them. And that's the way I thought, but I do need to keep in mind that other people,
and the people I deal with in my organization, my newsletter list, my various endeavors,
that they may or may not have the resilience and the bravado that I did.
It does take courage. What you're doing is you're being the one who climbs out of the
boiling pot. All these other people are pulling you down and saying, "Stay with us. Don't
rock the boat. You belong here." That act is courageous.
And I'll say this for the men listening to this, buying another eBook, downloading another
product, going to another conference, taking one more swing at it, knowing that you're
going to have to show your wife the credit card bill, that my friend is courageous as
well. Boy, isn't that the truth. Everybody is affected
by doubts and fears. Some we create on our own and a lot of them are put into our minds
by the people around us. How do you overcome your doubts and fears?
Continuous immersion in self-improvement material, combined with surrounding myself with other
people that are of a similar mindset. You really do have to leave this world in many
ways to move forward with what you want out of life. You literally have to detach and
depart and disengage from the "real world," or I tell people, the civilian world, in order
to move your life forward. Your friends mean well, but forget about it.
They're going to say, "Ah, don't do this. Do that instead. You're no fun. You're a party-pooper.
All you do is this. Blah, blah, blah, blah." All those things take inoculation and immunization.
If you don't do that and if you don't motivate yourself and if you don't stick with that,
it's never going to happen for you. I did it. I was very fortunate to find one
person in particular, and that's a fellow by the name of Guy Finley. He can be found
at GuyFinley.com. I found him ten years ago, whether it was by accident or by Providence,
I don't know. Listening to his material and to hear that
other people thought like me, and to hear that I was on track, and I wasn't crazy, and
that there was another path. There was a path of peace and a path of positive thinking,
a path of saying, "No. I don't accept what other people tell me I need to accept." I'm
not living that life. I can actually design my own life.
That was crucial and critical to me. I've since found two other extremely helpful things.
One is Centerpointe and that's at Centerpointe.com. And then the third one is Doctor Robert Anthony.
I don't actually have a URL for that one handy. Those three studies, or those three journeys
-- Guy Finley, Centerpointe and Dr. Robert Anthony -- if I took those and the Bible,
because for me whether I'm religious or not, I got to say I probably come down right in
the middle. I believe in God but I also get angry with Him at times and don't necessarily
always do what I should. I'm not going to tell everybody, "Oh, follow
my way. Follow my path religiously." But I will be honest and say that no matter what
you do, if you listen to Guy Finley, Centerpointe, and Dr. Robert Anthony, well, you're, I don't
know, a hedonist, or a Christian, or Protestant, Orthodox Jew, whatever. It does not matter.
Listening to this sort of stuff is impartial religiously but there are basic truths that
we all need to hear and we all need to live with and we all need to abide by. They can
be found, I feel, and I say it humbly and respectfully, in these three bodies of works.
They are what have gotten me through. They are the things that I hold myself accountable
to because I know deep down they're very true. That's a little bit deep of an answer, Ralph,
but I'm hoping that answer made sense. Yeah. It's important, I think, probably. And
what those guys say is, "It's important to forgive others who upset, offend, and oppose
you," since there are always people that seem to be antagonists in our lives. How important
do you think it is to forgive others that offend us?
Well, let me say that I know it's important and I know it's necessary and I also know
if you don't do it, all you're doing is giving yourself a bigger problem by keeping the anger,
the rage, and the hurt in your heart. Then, you are hurting the other person that you're
holding that grudge or problem against. But, you know Ralph, I like to think of myself
as very forgiving but I'm up against a couple things right now where I am hurt, angry, and
upset. I got to be honest with you. I know I'm not doing as good a job as I should be
doing. I'm just not because I know me enough to feel
me inside. I am not doing everything I need to be doing in order to be bettering my life,
myself, and my way. I'm just honestly not doing it right now. I'm disappointed in myself,
but hey, I'm hurt. What do you want from me? That's true. It's a daily challenge I think,
even a moment-by-moment challenge, just to do the right thing. Some days, it's just overwhelming.
There's just nothing you can do. No amount of prayer, positive thinking, or anything
can just pull you out of the doldrums. The good thing is that life will change.
That is true. I kind of backed myself into a bit of a corner here. I'm probably just
as frustrated at myself as anybody else because I'm also not a hypocrite. I think we have
free will and I'll say this: We all would do a lot better if we just held
ourselves accountable for the decisions that we make and say, "Yeah, you know what, that
was a dumb decision. I won't do it again. But I've learned from it and I'm going to
love myself enough to forgive myself." I can tell you this. I'm a million times better
at forgiving other people than I am forgiving myself. I still beat myself up over things
I did twenty years ago. I guarantee you that's had a bad effect on my life.
Again, Ralph, I tell people this because I am not a hypocrite like that. You read on
my introduction that I am right up front. I'm very direct with people and I tell people
like it is. I think a lot of us could learn to forgive other people better.
I think probably our biggest problem is we don't forgive ourselves fast enough and quick
enough. I know for a fact that I don't forgive myself. I'll make a mistake and maybe I had
good intentions or maybe I meant well, but I'll still say, "You know what Frank, you're
an idiot. You're stupid. Why did you do that? Why whatever?"
This is a guy that makes very good six figure income a year. This is a guy that on paper
has the world by its tail. I'm feeling these things. It doesn't matter whether you're a
millionaire because I know millionaires and I will be a millionaire in the next couple,
few years. Or, you're dirt poor because I know people
that are dirt poor. Everybody feels this and everybody hurts. Everybody on a base level
feels the same emotions. I recognize that and I know I need to do better.
Do you experience service to others as a source of joy? I know that when I first approached
you about the Heroes program back at the Big Seminar in Dallas, you were one of the first
persons that said, "Yeah. Anything I can do to help out, just let me know."
Well, I think that probably came through on some of my other statements so I won't get
into it, but I have to say that the three joys I would most like to experience in life
would be seeing my kids, and hopefully grandkids, grow up to be moral and just people that contribute
to society. That would be number one. Number two is experiencing
the kind of romantic love that I've always dreamed about because I'm a mush. I cry at
chick flicks, Ralph, I got to tell you. I'm this big manly truck driver.
I can get out of a bad situation, either through brains or hustle. But you put on "Terms of
Endearment" or "Beaches," I'll tell you what man, I'm tearing up. Then the third thing
is service to others. Evidently I have what I need. How I know that
-- I'm talking physical possession-wise is because the more physical possessions I buy
the less content I am with the spiritual aspect of my life. What that's telling me, now that
I'm old enough and wise enough to listen, is that possessions don't equal happiness.
So what I need to do is go back and retrace my steps and say, "Okay, if buying things,
and pampering myself, and watching out for number one most of the time, and making sure
that I'm taken care of are not making me happy" -- and as a side note, I'm not saying, "Ignore
yourself and I'm going to donate my house and my entire internet business to charity
and live off the street and God will provide," I guess I'm not that brave yet.
But what I am saying is obviously buying things isn't bringing more true joy and inner peace
to my life, then something else must be the thing that will do it. The only thing I can
figure, Ralph, is spirituality and living according to the spiritual, moral, and religious
guidelines that I personally believe in combined with doing the right thing and serving my
fellow man more than I am. I'm looking at it like Mr. Spock. I'm looking
at it logically. I'm looking at it from every which way I can figure. All I know is the
money things were rocking and rolling. The other things were rocking and rolling.
But if all that has not gotten me to a point of bliss or Zen or at peace with the universe
spiritually, then we need to drop back and punt and reevaluate and say, "What else could
the answer be?" What place does prayer have in your life,
the power of prayer? Do you pray? I have to say I don't do as much as I should.
I'm probably just like everybody else. I pray more for me getting what I want than other
things I probably should be focusing more on. Again, do I pray? Sure. But is there room
for improvement there? Absolutely. Is it routine and every day? No. Would I like it to be?
Yes. How important is having a sense of humor in
the face of serious problems? I know being an emotional person like you, my wife is very
similar, and you just take the cares of the world and the hurts of others just onto yourself.
Sometimes that's either laugh or cry. How important do you think that humor is?
I'll say it's so important that I really think that and sheer bravado are the only two things
that have kept me alive. Other than your grandma and I think you said
one other person in your life, who are the heroes in your life now or who were the heroes
in your life? I know that you talked about your grandma. Who are the heroes in your life
now that you want to give credit? I guess honestly the other two people that
have been in my life that I would consider heroes are two kids I went to school with.
One kid Algal Shaskee sat in front of me in home room all the way up until he either died
in Junior High or High School and I can't remember now.
He went through cancer and chemo and being different from all the other kids, being sick
and missing classes, while he should have been listening to Van Halen's first album
and playing hockey, this probably was about 1980 or so.
While he should have been doing that and celebrating life, he was facing death, and he did it with
dignity, and courage, and helping other people understand what it was that he was going through.
He taught me how to be happy even when things were absolutely without fail going to go bad.
There is no getting out of this. You're sunk, and yet you can still be happy. You can still
laugh, still have some sort of spirit and zest for life inside your heart. The same
thing with my friend Stu. When they closed my school in fourth grade and shipped us across
town to the other school in fifth grade, Stu was the kid that welcomed us and made us -- we
were the Hill Toppers and they were sort of like the Kennedy Park kids.
Those were the different neighborhoods. He was the one kid out of the class of thirty
that made the ten of us that were transplanted feel welcome. He was very friendly, very good
kid. His mom and my mom were the class moms in fifth grade and all.
Then, later in life, he got I forget if it was meningitis or encephalitis, but they had
to do brain surgery. They took the top of his skull off to work on him and relieve pressure
and everything else. He was never right after that and most people disowned him because
he had a head injury, short to anger, didn't always make good judgments, and didn't take
care of himself. Deep down he was the same kid. He also taught
me courage and dignity because he kept on going. He forged new friendships. He had dreams
and interests and plans for life even though, unfortunately, it didn't work out that way
and he died in his early twenties. He taught me kindness, and courage, and the
simple fact of treating people right was the correct thing to do. So my grandma and those
two school kids taught me more about life than probably most everybody else ever has.
Why are heroes so important in the lives of young people?
I guess because today, based on what I know, young people really don't have a lot to look
forward to, sorry to say. It's definitely not as fun as it was when we were kids. You
got to worry about AIDS, getting stabbed, other kids shooting in school, terrorism,
pollution, just all this crap that is just stuff that no child should go through.
Music is not even as good. It's violent and destructive, a lot of it. Losers that beat
their wives and treat people like garbage are held up as heroes. Sport figures, movie
stars, musicians and whatever. So what does a kid look up to these days?
I think more than ever it's important to have heroes because if you don't have goals and
dreams, what else is going to keep you alive? I'm forty. If I didn't think tomorrow was
going to be better and if I didn't think I could do better and be better and have better,
honest question is what in the hell am I still alive for? Why not end the pain, right?
Do you think there are any heroes in our society today that aren't getting the credit and the
recognition they deserve? Yeah, obviously. Just like I talked at the
beginning, I know that the day-to-day heroes, the people that do the right thing, the people
that -- I have a friend whose mom is dying and dad is elderly and infirmed himself, but
he's busy taking care of her and trying to keep her home. I mean, it's inevitable she's
going to go to a hospice or nursing home. It's just to the point where she really should've
been in a while ago. This seventy or eighty year old guy that can barely move himself
is keeping his wife home and he's hurting himself physically and draining himself mentally
just to keep his wedding vows. When she goes in somewhere, they're going to take the last
fifteen thousand of his money. That's going to be it. To me, hey, that guy's
a bigger hero than I am right now. Yet he's not recognized. He can't get aid, he can't
get help, and he can't get support. What's wrong with this picture?
I think that a lot of people in my generation, the baby boomer generation, I'm taking care
of my parents now after catastrophic illnesses. I think that is something that a lot of kids
that are my age, that's something that they're going to have to face.
Are they going to step up to the plate and take care of the people that took care of
them or are they just going to stick them in nursing homes or put them on Medicare?
I think that those people that do step up and do the right thing are not only heroes
but those that take care of people that are sick in their families are true saints.
Well, again, it goes back to that's what you're supposed to do. I don't know how society started
thinking that that was an option. You know that you didn't have to do things and you
know, "Hey, she gave birth to me and I didn't ask that."
I definitely have a strained relationship with my parents because I'm independent and
I'm definitely different than my mom, and my dad, and my sister. But at the same point,
I know when they need help and they're old and infirm, I know that I will be there.
That is for two reasons. One is it's the right thing to do. Two, if I don't do it, where
am I going to wind up? What's going to happen to me when -- do unto others, man. Quite frankly,
I don't want to be seventy and have my kids feed me dog food and abuse me and this sort
of thing. How does it feel to be recognized as a hero
yourself? I know that a lot of the people that I've interviewed some accept that they
are heroes because they have an ability to know that they are helping others. Some people
are just straight forward like yourself that struggle with the struggles that everybody
goes through. A lot of people just won't admit it.
I think that even though we do go through all those struggles, the reason why I selected
you was that you are honest about the struggles you are going through. And yet you still help
other people that are struggling to achieve a better life. So how does it feel to be recognized?
I guess the way to say it is if it helps other people feel better about themselves, motivate
themselves, keep themselves on track, see that they can do better, be better, and have
better then I'm okay with it.
But as far as personal gain or how it makes me feel personally, I take pride in my work.
I take pride in that I made it from bankrupt truck driver to six figures a year. Quite
frankly, the only reason I went bankrupt was because I was dumb and didn't manage my money.
I don't know how heroic it is to bounce back from that. I suppose it is, and I suppose
I could've let it keep me down and so forth. But I really don't think I'm a hero. I think
I have a lot of room for improvement.
I think that once you get that much pride that you do see yourself as a "hero," I think
there's a real risk for losing the humbleness, and humility, and the willingness to serve
others. Ralph, the internet could blow off tomorrow. What would I have left? This is
how I make my living. You'd have all the friends that you've made.
Yeah. Well, you know, so then that's got to be what's heroic about me if anything is that
I've been nice enough to other people that they value me enough to keep me in their lives,
even when they're busy and sometimes thousands of miles and sometimes continents away.
But even then, is that heroic or is that just doing the right thing, Ralph? You can make
the case that everybody is a hero. You can make the case that nobody is a hero. It's
all in how you look at it. I have an ego in a sense that I'll compete,
and I'll try to do my best because I think you need to have that in business, but I don't
have an ego as far as, "Oh, are people looking at me and thinking good of me and are they
looking up to me?" I could give a rat's patoot about that to be honest with you. That's meaningless
to me because that can all be taken away literally in a heartbeat.
That's true. Well, my definition of a hero is somebody that helps out at any moment in
their life. As Gregory Alan Williams, the actor (He was a cop on Baywatch TV program.
Actually saved an Asian guy's life during the L.A. riots.) says, "There's a little bit
of bad in the best of us, a little bit of good in the worst of us. When we step up to
the plate and help somebody, at that moment in time, we become a hero because we didn't
have to do that. But we chose to make another person's life better by our sacrifice."
So I think that everybody, including you, has the potential of being a hero. I know
that you have because there are a lot of people that you've touched their hearts, and touched
their lives when helping them in different areas just because of your transparency and
ability to share that you're successful. But you've had failures and you're going through
difficult times. It's refreshing to have people admit that
their life isn't a bed of roses, that you suffer from the same doubts and fears and
griefs and sorrows that we all suffer from. But yet you don't let it get you down for
long. You get back up and you just keep on going and I think that is the true definition
of a hero, is somebody that presses on in the presence of fear and failure but yet refused
to give up. I appreciate that and all I know is that I
will not give up because there's more to life. I'm happy in many ways with where I am at
now. I'm not going to complain. I got it pretty well made compared to most people because
I work out of the house. I don't have to get up. I don't have to go to work. I don't have
to work today if I don't want. I don't have to work tomorrow if I don't want to.
But at the same point, Ralph, there's so much more that I need to achieve in life and so
many more things that I want to do that I really do think it's important that you keep
perspective and maintain the humbleness and the humility that has gotten me to this point
because it would be easy to say, "Oh, man, I'm Mister Internet Dude and I'm the man and
whatever and whatever." Where does that get anybody? Where is that
getting me? Also, where is it getting the people that I'm trying to serve?
I think that it's important that people look at individuals' lives and see them over a
time period and see how they react to the ups and downs that everybody has. I think
that it is inspirational for everybody when they see others that they have that desire
to do more, to be more, and to help others to a greater degree. That's what the Heroes
program is all about. What do you think about the Heroes program and its impact on youth,
parents, and business people? Well, Ralph, I think it's great what you're
doing. I think it's a celebration of the average person and a reaffirmation that doing the
right thing has its own rewards, that you're not alone. You can find heroism, fulfillment,
enjoyment, and satisfaction just in day-to-day events because I celebrate the average person.
If you gave me the keys to a Peterbilt a big white freight liner or tractor trailer, I
could drive across the country tomorrow and not hit a curb, not miss a gear or not whatever.
I still walk with the average person in very many ways.
If I walk back to work driving a truck or working in an auto parts store tomorrow, I
would do okay with that because I know what the average guy goes through. But at the same
point, Ralph, what a wonderful opportunity we all have here to take advantage of the
internet and some of the things we're speaking about and just move up in life.
The internet has been very, very good to me. That's all I can tell you. It's definitely
been a blessing. It's definitely been a blessing. I really can't complain. Anything I don't
like in my life, I could change now, this second.
I have a world full of opportunity at my feet, and so, to sit there are cry and go, "Ooh,
I got it so bad." That's stupid. I'm not sick. I'm not in the hospital. I'm not dying, I
didn't just lose somebody in a tube train in London so basically, just shut up and get
back to work, Frank. That's the way I look at it.
Let me ask you the final question. What are the things that parents can do that would
help their kids realize that they too can be heroes and make a positive impact on the
lives of others? Why, just from parenting, the thing that they
can most do to help them realize their child's potential is to spend time with them and not
outsource parenting. I know we all have to work. I know we all have to do this and that.
I'm not going to lay claim to the world's greatest parent, but we're going to lose a
generation here if we don't do things differently. Actually, we're going to lose a civilization
is the way I truly see it, because we're losing compassion. We're minimizing morality. We're
calling people in groups stupid and ugly. We're encouraging culture that demeans people.
It is just at what cost. Believe me, I'm not a prude or an old fogy.
I'm a truck driver from New Jersey. I know curse words just as well as anybody listening
does. It doesn't mean you need to embrace garbage talk and garbage thinking and garbage
mindset and a garbage lifestyle. It starts with parenting. You're old enough
to have a kid; you're old enough to raise them. And if you're old enough to raise them,
you're old enough to raise them right. I guess that's really all I can say, Ralph, is leading
by example you teach your kid heroism. I see people who work, but they always make
their kids' games, or they always make their kids' school functions. What's that teaching
them right there? What's that teaching them about family?
Okay, we live in this house because it's closer to the grandparents and it has a better school
system than the house I would like to move into, and the house that I could afford. But
I won't move because it would negatively impact the family, in spiritual and non-visibly lifestyle
types of ways. Things like that to me are heroic as well.
You know, I totally agree that the examples of the parents are going to have a big impact
on how their kids turn out, that the kids see actions and listen to words and see if
they match up. Well, Frank, I really appreciate your time.
I know that a lot of people enjoy this interview because it's rare that you find somebody that
is willing to share what's going on in their heart, their fears, joys, failures, or successes
and still is able to have a positive attitude and a desire to make the world a better place.
I just want to tell you how much I appreciate your time and what a good job that you're
doing. I appreciate that, Ralph. Like I say, it's
always good to hear that other people believe in what I'm doing because it at least shows
me that I'm on the right track and I'm making some kind of progress because otherwise you
wouldn't have had me here and the thought of using me wouldn't have even crossed your
mind, right? That's true. A lot of times it's not what
you say about yourself, it's what other people say about you that's the most important.
Well, that is true because the funny thing is I really can't get any bad press. As hard
as I am on myself, maybe if I stopped and thought a little bit more about the fact that
people do business with me and people love me and care about me.
My business is booming. It's just growing ever stronger. I guess I am on the right track
and I guess I am doing the right thing. I guess I am in the right place at the right
time. All of us need to recognize that if you have somebody that loves you, somebody
that believes in you, and somebody that says, "You know what, I like being with you. I want
to be with you," however we put that forward, then that's a good place to be. That means
you're on the right track. I think that's why people call you Uncle Frankie
and that you have such success with the people that are in your newsletter list is because
everybody wants a relationship with somebody that's a real person, that actually cares
about them. Like I say, I appreciate that. I can only
hope that I continue to do the right thing and that I help people and serve others. Because
without that I would be embarrassed to show my kids any other thing that I think is right
and correct. I'm just happy that people think good about
me. That's probably all I can add. I'm more worried about where my soul's going and what
my kids think about me and how I'm raising them. But, at the same point, I want to make
people happy. I want to make things work right and make a difference in other's lives.
So, yeah, I appreciate that Ralph. Frank, again, I really appreciate your time.
Sure am happy to be here Ralph. Thanks for having me.
Okay, see you soon. Okay. Bye.
Bye.