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Jory: (in monotone for intro only) Hello, I'm Jory Caron, and this is "Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?" The next thing we're going to microwave is a banana.
Go healthy, go Chiquita, go stick a banana in a microwave!
*theme song plays*
Jory: Let's go roast some nuts!
I wonder how long I should put it in there? Three minutes? Okay!
Jory: Ventilation is key!
Jory: Oh, jeez!
Jory: Safety is our number-one concern.
Jory: Yeah, I think it's just gonna catch fire.
Jory: 'Cause nobody likes roasted nuts!
Jory: Definitely a good idea!
Jory: Stopping, stopping!
Jory: Is it a good idea to microwave this?
So, let's go find out! Here at the Jory Caron Laboratory, safety is our number-one concern. That's why we hide behind this giant tin foil shield- two layers now! 'Cause no one likes roasted nuts!
We also have two fans, so we don't get the black lung. Many people have died from that. We're not gonna be one of them! We also have our Sharp microwave, and it IS lookin' sharp today! I think it's earned its name today!
So, what're we microwaving?
Jon: Jory, is that a banana in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?
Jory: (mumbles gibberish) Let's get this over with! Let's put this in the microwave. And now, we're closing the microwave.
Ezra: 10 seconds an inch!
Jory: (laughs) 10 seconds an inch?
Jon: That's about a minute!
Jory: (laughs) About a minute! Okay! Going!
Jory: On second thought, it probably should have been in there for a little bit longer than a minute.
Ezra: It's probably a 7-incher. It depends if you count the stem.
Jon: I wasn't!
Ezra: It's like ***- does it count?
Jon: No!
Jory: I think it counts!
Ezra: How would *** count when you're talking about the length?
Jon: It's a Jewish banana- it doesn't count!
Jory: It still has its peel!
Ezra: It's not a Jewish banana! It still has its peel!
Jory: It's a Chiquita, by the way.
Jon: Oh, so it's Spanish. So, it's short!
Ezra: (laughs) You'd better [beep]in' edit that out! You'll get [beep]in' hate mail!
Jory: That's French, by the way! Oh, I think it split, actually. Either that, or it's turning brown!
Ezra: Yeah!
Jory: It IS turning brown!
Jory: Okay, let's check this out! Oh!
Jon: It started to splooge a little bit on the end there!
Jory: It's perfect for banana bread! Ooh! Steamy! This banana's HOT!
Jon: When was the last time you saw something that hot that was six inches, Jory?
I'm not even going to dignify that with a response!
Jory: Okay, so I'll put that over there. So, you might still be wondering, is it a good idea to microwave a banana? Well, judging by these brown marks and from my remembering, banana bread is better when the banana is kinda brown.
So, if you don't have a brown banana... See where I'm getting at here? It's always a good idea to microwave a banana if you're trying to make banana bread.
So, that's it for "Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?" I'm Jory Caron.
*end credits play*