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The first ever prescription depressant hit the shelves today.
Approved by the F.D.A. last month, Despondex is intended
as a treatment for the approximately 20 million Americans
who are insufferably cheery.
Tests prove the drug is affective at reducing a range of symptoms,
from squealing loudly when a friend calls,
to use of the phrase "cool beans",
and excessive hugging.
Dr. Alman Wei calls the drug a huge step forward
in the battle against exuberance.
If you're in a good mood every so often,
well, that's fine. That's normal.
This is for those that have a persistent positive outlook on life.
Eva Hendry of New Haven Connecticut began participating
in a clinical trial of Despondex 6 weeks ago.
I was always telling people how cute their outfits were,
and bringing them little gifts.
I'd beam at anyone who made eye contact with me.
I didn't realize life didn't have to be like that.
Eva said she never knew how her annoyingly chipper attitude
was affecting those around her.
Over and over again I'd ask Jeff to ride his bike down
to the Botanical Garden with me.
No matter how many times, he said no.
And she was always smiling, but I didn't know what to do to help her.
I used to think, why am I the only one
trying to set up single friends with each other.
And now I realize that I was sick.
I needed treatment.
Eva says the drug may have saved their marriage.
Now Jeff and I can just waste a night sitting on the couch,
watching a TV show neither of us enjoy,
like a regular couple.
Not everyone is convinced that Despondex
is the cure all for perkiness, however.
In this week's Time Magazine, Michael Pelosic of UCLA argues
that many patients get similar results from natural remedies,
something as simple as a diet of corn syrup and white bread,
and a total lack of exercise.
But Dr. Wei disagrees.
We have to erase the stigma attached with
getting chirpy people help, real medical help.
I mean, do you know what it's like to be around these people?
It's pretty f#*king annoying.
Doctors estimate the new drug could reduce the number
of costumed or themed parties in the U.S. by up to 40%.
STILL AHEAD THIS HOUR Obama announces plan to weatherize
nation's borders to cut energy costs