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Hi, everybody. So...
When I first met Michael, it was 1984
He was in kind of a rough patch
He was crying all the time
He was living at home with his parents
And he was frequently wetting his bed
But then I came along and straightened him out
Before I get started in the real part of the speech
I just wanted to give a big thank you toast to the mother of the bride, Maribeth
And to the father of the bride Steve DeSantis
A huge cheers to them, to our good fortune
and to everybody who made it out here tonight to celebrate this beautiful couple
So, for those of you who don't know, I'm Michael's younger brother David
and I'm extremely honored to be here tonight, for not only my brother, but for one of my best friends
Now, before I get all sentimental
it wasn't always so great being Michael's brother
It was actually quite risky and somewhat dangerous
You see, the lesser known side of my brother
is that he was somewhat of a pyromaniac and a daredevil in his youth...
...and by somewhat, I mean I consider myself lucky to be alive
So, when we were small, we talked our parents into getting us a family dog
I was content to do what normal boys would do with our dog...
take her home, take her for walks, you know, run around- play fetch
But as she grew up, we started to realize that this dog was... FAST
She was very fast
So one day, Mike comes up to me and says, 'Dave.'
'I have this idea.'
'Go strap on your rollerblades...'
'And meet me out front.'
So I say, 'Okay, are we gonna go play some hockey or something? I dunno
I go outside and Mike comes out with our dog
She has this crazy- crazed look in her eyes
Like she's about to be shot out of a cannon
and Mike has a harness, and an extra long leash, and a pair of helmets
so I don't think this is a good idea Mike
but I trusted my older brother, and sure enough
by the end of the afternoon, we had invented a new extreme sport
dodging garbage cans
and crashing after squirrels
in tow behind our psycho dog
was nothing compared to the danger I would be asked to face during Michael's next phase
AKA: 'The Home Movie-Making Years'
AKA: 'The Pyrotechnic Phase'
they were the same phase
Calling high school Mikey a 'Pyrotechnic'
would be like calling Mozart a 'Musician'
Yes, Michael's pyro skills were ingenious
So, when he rallied all of his pyrotechnic friends
and got a movie camera and wrote a script called,
'Mortal Justice'
I should have known better than to be cast
as a dispensable lead character
named, 'Chuck', if I recall
Chuck!!!
We need you NOW!!!
I GOTCHYA!!!
Lured by the spotlight
and the amazing contract that he was offering me
I soon found my inner Chuck, running through carefully rigged gauntlets
of gunpowder charges and plumes of fire
for scenes that probably didn't have much meaning
at that time
Oh so THERE you are you little piece of--
Gooooo!!!!
CHUCK!!!
In the end, as I recall, Chuck had no love scenes, very few lines...
and he had to carry around this 50lb
fake AK-47 at all times
It was not fake
Chuck!!! GET OUTTA THERE!!!
HANG ON!!!
Incoming!
It was not fake
So yes, looking back, high school Mikey was kind of intense
and probably a little dangerous
but I can't hold it against him because he made up for it in so many ways
You see, as I came to realize then, Mike's passion for blowing things up was outmatched
by his love and passion for the people in his life
Whether it was racing the dog or shooting action movies with him
he always showed that it wasn't about the thrill
but it was about spending with me
and creating something together
Here I was, this snively little middle-schooler
and Mike's in high school and he insists to my parents that I was essential to the film
and that he be allowed to smuggle me out of the house to shoot late into the night with him and his high school buddies
So maybe it was awkward for him to have his little brother hanging out with his high school buddies
But he never made it seem like that
And I'll never forget those shoots...
They taught me camaraderie, trust, the thrill of creation, friendship, but most precious to me...
they allowed me to get to know one of the most generous,
sincere, and most beautiful friendships
I've ever had the pleasure to have in my life
If I were less hardened by the years spent with Mike,
I would be crying right now
Before closing off this section I have to mention that his safety record was perfect
as you can see I have all my limbs
and my eyebrows grew back
So naturally, as Mike got older
I couldn't help but look forward to meeting the woman who would capture his heart
She would have to have a huge heart
and she would have to be brave
I remember the first time I met Nicole and saw my brother and her together
It was a typical night in Mike's apartment...
...the space heater and the air-conditioner are running...
...at the same time
It's very dimly lit...
There's Chinese food laid out
But something was different about Mikey...
Something had changed...
and I noticed a certain restless glimmer in his eyes
that had accompanied some of the thrill-seaking and some of the pyrotechnic insanity...
had kind of changed into a peace, and a contentment
And as I hung out with Nicole, I understood
It was as if Mike had found a secret that he couldn't put into words
and this glimmer behind his eyes was just a content...
...smile
So as I got to know Nicole I understood. Here was somebody who loved him for who he was...
Who could light up the room with her humor and her wit...
Who's heart was huge...
...but who also enjoyed a nice mosh-pit...
at a Henry Rollins show, on the weekend...
...just to unwind
Sure enough, as time has gone on...
I've only seen this contentment and peace in my brother grow...
...and solidify
Nicole, I know that the look in my brothers eyes will never fade...
...because in you, he has found his soulmate, confidant...
...and partner-in-crime...
...that not only shares...
...but compliments his dreams, desires and his heart in so many ways...
I wish you both a lifetime of happiness together
So would everyone please raise their glasses and join me in a toast...
To my brother Mikey and Nicole...
...To your future.