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Hollywood Hotel. Good evening.
Just a moment, I'll connect you.
[PLAYING "HOORAY FOR HOLLYWOOD"]
[SINGING] Hooray for Hollywood
That screwy, ballyhoo-y Hollywood
Where any office boy or young mechanic
Can be a panic
With just a good-looking pan
And any shop girl
Can be a top girl
If she pleases the tired businessman
Hooray for Hollywood
You may be homely in your neighborhood
[IMITATING BASS]
To be an actor, see Mr. Factor
He'll make your kisser look good
Go out and try your luck
You may be Donald Duck
Hooray for Hollywood
Hooray for Hollywood
Hey, Benny.
Hi, Ronnie. Come on, fellas, here he is.
Come on, Ronnie. Come on, Ronnie.
Hooray for Hollywood
That bully, wild and woolly Hollywood
They hire cowboys then they hang their chaps up
And doll their maps up and give them all that they lacked
Now, ain't it funny?
They pay them money
Shows what you can do If your horse can act
Hooray for Hollywood
They hire fellas Whose physiques are good
And then they tell them They're the perfect-shape men
To act like ape men
And they convince them they should
They make them grunt and yell
[IMITATES TARZAN]
And people think they're swell
[IMITATING TARZAN]
Oh, hooray for Hollywood
It's really got me, hooray
-Hooray -Hooray
Hooray
Hooray for Hollywood
Hollywood
ALL: Yeah!
Hey, thanks. Thanks, gang. Gee, Benny.
It's swell of you to come down and give me this sendoff.
-Made me homesick before I left. -Oh, forget it, kid.
It's not every day we send a sax player off to Hollywood.
MUSICIAN 1: You said it. MUSICIAN 2: That's right.
PILOT: All aboard for Los Angeles.
-Hey, I guess that's me, huh? MUSICIAN 3: Goodbye, Ronnie.
You thrilled? Going to Hollywood with a 10-week contract.
That's just it, I'll be back in 10 weeks.
-You got what the movies want. -What's that?
I don't know. All I know is, I ain't got it.
That scout must've been cross-eyed.
He was looking at somebody else.
Benny, I'm hanging right on to my saxophone.
That's alright, boy, you've always got a job in my band.
-I'm afraid I'll be back for it. -Good.
Gosh, I'm gonna miss you kids.
You're gonna be so busy running around with those picture stars.
-You won't have time to miss us. -I will.
Oh, what a life. Just falling in and out of swimming pools.
[LAUGHING]
-Your name, please? -Uh, Bowers. Ronnie Bowers.
Seat 9, sir. All aboard.
-Goodbye, gang. -Goodbye, Ronnie. Goodbye.
BENNY: Goodbye, kid, and good luck.
Goodbye. Thanks for everything.
Don't you ever kiss an old pal goodbye?
Sure.
-Goodbye, Alice. -Goodbye.
Goodbye, Benny. Goodbye, gang.
The things I do for All-Star Pictures.
This meets a new low. Getting up at 7:00 in the morning
to meet a saxophone player.
For 15 years, I met boats and trains.
Then they started this plane business.
When they begin shooting them in rockets, I'll quit.
Me too.
Hi, Bernie. I hear All-Star signed up the Supreme Court
to do a picture and they're coming in on this plane.
You know me.
The photographer that covers Hollywood for the world.
Why don't you give up and go on relief?
What do you mean?
Want me to stand in line and wait for my check?
Maybe I can arrange to have them mailed to you.
Where do you think you're going?
What? See that? What do you think it is, rhubarb?
-Wait a minute. -Alright. Don't be yelling.
See that crowd? They're waiting to see Ronnie Bowers.
That first guy's a publicity man for Ronnie Bowers.
And the second guy's a cameraman for Ronnie Bowers.
-Well, who are you? -Ha-ha.
I'm Ronnie Bowers. Okay.
That must be him.
They won't make a star out of him.
Why not? They made one out of Rin Tin Tin.
Yeah, but he could bark.
-Bowers? -Yes.
I'm Bernie Walton, All-Star Pictures. Publicity.
-Oh, how do you do? -Did you have a nice trip?
-Little bumpy. -Yes, yes.
How are things back east? Good. They're good everywhere now.
-How do you like California? -Well--
Everybody does till their option's dropped.
Alright, let's have him over here on the steps.
-Uh, what's your name again? -Bowers. Ronnie Bowers.
Yeah, Bowers. We wanna take a couple of pictures.
You know, getting out of the plane.
Happy to be in California. Stand up on the step.
-That's fine. -This okay?
Yeah.
Stay there. You better take another one, Joe.
Look, Bowers, take your hat off and be waving it.
Smile. Give us a big smile.
One of those, "Hello, California.
I'm tickled to death to be here."
You can't tell. You might like it.
CAMERAMAN: Is that all? BERNIE: Yeah, see you.
Okay, Mr. Bowers, let's go.
-Hold it, Bernie. Hold it, now. BERNIE: That'll be all.
-Okay, another picture, kid. -Smile. Here we are. Hold it.
A corker.
You ought to use light makeup on that guy.
He photographs pretty dark.
Come on, Bowers, let's get going.
Well, here we are.
Sorry I can't stick with you, I've gotta interview a horse.
We signed him up for the lead in a Western.
-What are you gonna say? -I don't know yet.
He's an Arabian horse. They'll have an interpreter.
Well, goodbye. Thanks for meeting me.
I'll stick around the hotel till I get a call.
-Just relax. You're on salary. -Thank you.
-So long. -So long.
Alright, let's go.
PAGE: Paging Mr. Randolph. Mr. Randolph.
Paging Mr. Randolph. Mr. Randolph.
Paging Mr. Randolph. Mr. Randolph.
Paging Mr. Randolph.
Paging Mr. Randolph.
Mr. Randolph.
Hello. Oh, Miss Marshall.
Take this package to Miss Marshall.
[PHONE RINGS]
-Hello. Any mail for Miss Marshall?
-Studio calling Miss Marshall. -Studio wants Miss Marshall.
-Miss Marshall's car canceled? -No.
-We'll cancel your car, Miss. -Cancel Miss Marshall's car.
Yes, thank you.
I'm the manager. Can I be of service to you?
Oh, yes. Thank you. Have you a reservation for Miss Marshall--?
-Uh, uh-- Ronnie Bowers? -I'll see.
-Reservation for Bowers. -I'll see, sir.
-You came in on the plane? -It was bumpy.
-Is Miss Marshall's car ready? -Yes, sir.
Is that Mona Marshall, the picture star?
There's only one Mona Marshall, sir.
Oh. Oh.
[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]
We're putting you in 711-A. You'll find it most comfortable.
You're to be with All-Star, I see. Acting?
Well, uh, yes, I-- In a way. I'm really a saxophone player.
Saxophonist. Oh.
-Put Mr. Bowers in 312. -Yes, sir.
Good morning, sir.
Right this way, sir.
That's the Orchid Room, huh?
Yeah, I've heard a lot of broadcasts from there.
PAGE: Paging Mr. Marshall.
Mr. Marshall, please.
Paging Mr. Marshall.
Mr. Marshall, please.
Paging Mr. Marshall.
-Want a light? -Yes, thank you.
Oh, yes. Thank you. Here.
[HUMMING]
Paging Mr. Marshall.
Mr. Marshall, please. Paging Mr. Marshall.
I just saw Mr. Marshall in the barroom.
-Thank you. -Just a minute, please, boy.
-This is Mr. Marshall. -Oh, how are you?
-How are you? Glad to see you. -You're Mr. Marshall.
-When did that happen? -I have a telegram.
You have? Why didn't you tell me? It's important.
Well, goodbye, Mr. Marshall. Glad to have seen you.
OPERATOR 1: Hollywood Hotel. Good afternoon.
-Yes, sir. Here's your party. OPERATOR 2: Good afternoon.
Hollywood Hotel. Good afternoon.
Orchid Room reservation? Just a moment, please.
Tell Miss Marshall Louella Parsons is on her way up?
Sure. Thanks.
-Hey, Fuzzy. -What?
-There's Louella Parsons. -Who's Parsons?
-Newspaper woman, the columnist. -Yeah.
-Hey, Parsons. -Oh, hello.
-Are you sure that's her? -I think it is.
Well, don't let me waste my time.
Are you going up to Marshall's apartment, that crazy house?
-For a little quiet interview. -Yeah? So are we.
Hey, why don't you put me in that column once in a while?
-I'm never in there. -Oh, you're not news.
"I'm not news." Get her.
She wants me take a bath in champagne.
-Soap and water will do. -"Soap and water." Ha-ha.
That's Parsons, alright.
Hollywood Hotel. Good afternoon.
Miss Marshall's apartment? I'll connect you.
[RINGING]
Hello?
No, this is Miss Jones, Miss Marshall's secretary.
Yes, I know. It's always important.
What was it you wanted?
Yeah-- Did you say "launch" or "lunch"?
I see. Well, to be perfectly frank with you...
...Miss Marshall had a very unfortunate experience...
...with the last battleship she launched.
Yes, it slid into the water, sunk
and hasn't been heard from since.
Oh, yes. Yes, she was very embarrassed.
So was the captain. He was on it.
You're welcome.
-Darling, I really think-- -No, Miss Marshall, I want--
Yes, I do like that.
Here, take Frou-Frou to the library. Yes, I like it too.
Have you seen my lovely bracelets?
Please, everybody. Quiet. My nerves. I'm going mad.
Mona, darling, the dress is so gorgeous, I can't stand it.
Do you really think so, Butch?
Really. I want it right on the floor, Bella.
If your fans don't collapse on the sidewalk...
...when you walk into that theater tonight...
...I'll tear it to pieces.
Stop pulling it.
-You pushed me. -No, I didn't.
Someone did.
Oh, Louella, don't you think this gown is just too obtrusive?
Well, it is you, dear.
Alex will be simply mad about it.
Tell me, what are your views on marriage anyway?
Well, I do like a ceremony.
I can have these dyed any color you wish.
-Oh, yes-- -No, no, no.
-But I like the shoes. -Am I the designer...
-...or am I the designer? -Alright, dear.
I want her feet practically on the ground.
Nothing but jewels.
You'll have to stand still. I can't get this straight.
-Darling, I'm trying. -If you don't--
This contract is ready to be signed.
Oh, Jonesy, where are you?
Take that to my agent. He should do something for his 10 percent.
Ow! Bella, those pins. Oh, my nerves.
-Have you a cigarette, dear? BUTCH: Sure, dear.
You still haven't told me a thing.
What about your romance with Alex?
Do you think two actors should marry?
-One of them should be a woman. -What?
The one that looks the best in the veil.
Now, Jonesy, you're confusing Mona.
I'm giving this interview, Miss Jones.
What's going on in the living room?
Fuzzy Boyle. I told him he could take some portraits of you.
What, again?
Why do you this to me?
Why do you torture me like this?
People. People. People.
Isn't there anybody else in the world but people?
You see what my life is, Louella. Not a minute to myself.
I work, I slave and what do I get? Money, money, money.
A ridiculous fortune.
But give it to me. I'll sign it.
Oh, I do hope you'll tell every girl to stay out of pictures.
My dear, I've been telling them that for years.
But the glamour of Hollywood's too strong.
What am I signing? I thought you said it was to be 4000.
Your father wants a new horse. Sign it.
There you are.
Radio. Pictures. People.
What will they invent next to annoy me?
Please stand still, Miss Marshall.
You try this on. The furrier wants an answer.
Oh, yes. Let me see.
Oh, I don't know.
I think maybe it should have a few more skins.
Still-- What do you think of it, Butch?
I don't like it at all.
I don't think I like it either. Here.
Here. Send it back. Tell them I don't want it.
Tell them to add more skins and I'll take it.
They didn't have any more skins. If you go and get more--
Me? Why, where would I--?
You see what I have to contend with?
They expect me to play in my pictures...
...sign my radio contracts, design my wardrobe...
...appear at luncheons and dinners.
And they want me to go out and shoot my own skunks.
I mean, mink. No, fox. Oh, I don't know what I mean.
I'm going mad. Mad.
-Hurry up. -Yes.
Oh, my thyroids.
Why don't you get Mona like this?
FUZZY: Alright. Okay. -Hey.
-What are you doing up there? -Pictures.
Why don't you sit over here? It's lower. Ha-ha-ha.
Hey, what are you mumbling about?
I'm not mumbling. Get the focus.
-I thought you was mumbling. -Aa-ha-ha!
Come on. Cut it out. Who are you?
How do you do? I'm Mona's sister.
Mona's sister. Hey, just goes to show you.
Yeah, don't it? I'm anemic.
-You're what? -I'm anemic.
-What, from the eyes up? -Oh, no. That's not the trouble.
What blood I got goes to my head and I, pfft, fall over.
Sometimes I fall over six, seven, eight times.
-On your head? -Yeah.
That's where the trouble is. Look out she don't grab us.
-Hey, wait a minute. -She's got me.
I know a man that's got so much blood
he doesn't know what to do with it.
He sold it for $10 a quart.
Just shows you the different rackets.
You can get wine for less than that.
You can get out for less. Come on, now.
I wanna talk to you. You got such a nice, swollen face.
Swollen face. What do I look like, two people?
-Cut it out, will you? -Wait a minute.
I'll be back and then we can continue our interesting talk.
What does she mean, "swollen face"?
Hello.
You like that material, Miss Parsons?
I think it's really beautiful.
-Hi. -Hello.
Mona, can I please wear this dress to the premiere tonight?
No, you can't. You get out of here.
Oh, is that your little sister?
Oh, yes. Yes, the baby.
Yeah. Yeah, I'm the baby.
Darling, this is Louella Parsons.
-Oh, how do you do? -Hello, baby.
I'm just crazy about your column. Sure wish I could read.
She's such a shy little thing.
Of course, my father, has kept her in school most of her life.
She simply adores languages.
Now, say something in algebra, dear.
DOT: You bet.
It's a dead language, Mona.
-Dye these and send black ones. -I guess I better go.
Louella, I want you to see my bracelets.
You mean you want black ones too?
Get her a pair of skates while you're at it.
I want a pair of very high-heeled jeweled sandals.
What are you gonna wear them with?
Oh, Louella, I've neglected you terribly.
I have a secret to tell you. It's the headline of headlines.
-How nice. -Promise you won't publish it.
It's simply terrific.
I'm going to play Angela in Bitter Night.
-But, my-- -It's a wonderful role.
-Marvelous story for an actress. -Listen.
Who else in pictures could play it?
The book was practically written for me.
It's a secret now.
Mona, you haven't read my column this morning.
Oh, hello, Alex.
Have you seen Parsons' column?
It's perfectly preposterous, Louella.
How could they possibly put this picture on without me?
-I mean, without us? -What are you raving about?
It can't be that important.
"Randall and Lynn sign to play leads in Bitter Night."
Oh, that's ridiculous.
"The most coveted roles of the season...
...the leads in the best-selling novel Bitter Night...
...have been given by All-Star Pictures to stage favorites...
...Ralph Randall and Carol Lynn.
This finally puts an end to the rumor...
...that Mona Marshall was to play the feminine lead." Aah!
This smells like some of Faulkin's work.
Oh, Louella, I'm so sorry, but her nerves are overworked.
I understand. I've got a deadline to make anyway.
-I'll see you to the door, dear. -Goodbye.
What is this, a trick? Don't think I care
whether or not I play the part. I've no selfish bone in my body.
It's millions of people that have grown to love me...
...that I'm constantly thinking of.
Do something. What are you standing there for?
You must have fans interested in what you do.
A couple of fans?
The letters have been pouring in, demanding I play the part.
I didn't know your fans could write.
I'm crazy to see that picture. I saw Carol Lynn on the stage.
-And she was just wonderful. -Get out of here.
Things are pass when your own family...
...don't wanna see you on the screen.
I'm gonna see my agent. Something's gotta be done.
I'll show them. They're not going to do this to me.
BUTCH: Honestly-- Oh! -I'm very much loyal--
-My creation. -Never mind my creation.
-Where's the phone? -Oh, my--
-What's this? -Studio.
I thought you'd wanna talk to Faulkin.
Hello. Never mind. I'll do the talking.
Now, now, now, Mona, dear, listen...
...you must realize your fans don't want to see you
in that sort of a role.
They expect more glamorous things from you.
That picture probably won't make a penny.
We're just making it for the prestige.
Prestige? Prestige?
Hasn't my name and my pictures given you the prestige you need?
Is this the treatment I get for giving you
the best years of my life? I've worked to play that part.
I even went to the trouble to read the book.
Well, every page that my part was on. Prestige.
Haven't I held up one trash story after another?
Acted with every dummy you found that had a good set of teeth.
Haven't I? Well, I'm through being the patsy.
I'm gonna start thinking of Mona Marshall.
You let All-Star do your worrying for you.
All-Star loves you. We'll talk it over at the premiere tonight.
Premiere? Ha! I'll be so far away from that premiere...
...you won't even be able to reach me with an aeroplane.
Jonesy, pack the bags.
They're packed.
But--
Walton, come in here right away. Trouble.
Get me Mona Marshall's apartment, quick.
Hello, chief. Well, what's up?
-Marshall again? -Yes, Marshall.
Well, what's wrong now?
She's not going to attend the premiere tonight.
Ouch.
[PHONE RINGS]
Hello, Mona, dear.
Miss Marshall ain't here, Mr. Faulkin.
She ran out like a mad dog with a tin can tied to it's tail.
-Where'd she go? -I don't know where.
She just plain went.
She's gone, huh?
Another Marshall premiere without Marshall. Fine thing.
-We'll send a story she's sick. -Sick?
What about the broadcast? The press party at the Orchid Room?
Every star in town at the premiere
but the star of the picture. She's got to be there.
It'll take a magician to find her. You know Mona's tricks.
Yeah.
Well, I've got a couple myself.
Get me Casting.
Hello, Casting, this is Bernie Walton.
Yeah. Now, get this.
We need a double for Mona Marshall and quick.
Get me every dame who looks anything like her...
...and send them over to my office.
-Hello, Mr. Walton. -Hello. Oh, lift your veil up.
-I'm kind of tall. -No.
Do you mind stepping out, please?
That's all. Some other time. Sorry.
Come on inside a minute. I want the boss to see you.
Maybe she took a clipper for Honolulu.
Step on it and call me back. Mona. Never mind. Never mind.
I knew you'd-- Oh, who's this?
Right now, this is Mona Marshall.
-A few minutes ago she was-- -Virginia Stanton.
Done with a flip of the wrist and turn of the mirror.
-What do I jump off of? -Jump?
-I'm a double for Mona Marshall. -Yeah.
That's all I've done since I've been in this town.
Everything from riding a horse to falling out of a plane.
I'm the fool that rushes in where Mona fears to tread.
This job will be a snap for you.
You just have to look like Marshall and enjoy.
Wait a minute. What's the catch?
None. Marshall can't make her premiere and she's got to.
She's, uh, let us say, indisposed.
I catch on. Temperament.
You're gonna be Mona and you'll make an appearance.
There's $100 in it for you. Will Mona Marshall be there?
She looks like Mona Marshall, but can she act like her?
-Can you? -Oh, my thyroid.
Ha-ha! It's a cinch. I'll be back in a minute.
This is amazing. Even her mannerisms.
Your resemblance to Mona Marshall is astonishing.
You're telling me. It's kept me out of pictures.
-Kept you out? -Would you want to hire me?
We can't very well have two Mona Marshalls.
No one else can either. That's why I'm working as a waitress.
Honey, you go to the Makeup Department and see Mr. Malley.
When he's through, I'll pick you up.
-Goodbye, Mr. Faulkin. -Goodbye, my dear. Good luck.
Well, am I a fixer or am I a fixer?
-That's okay, but what next? -What do you mean?
Who's gonna take her to the premiere?
You're not figuring DuPrey?
That boulevardier from the Bronx?
That would be like broadcasting it to the world.
-Then, who is gonna take her? -I don't know.
Wait a minute. I've got it.
Boy meets girl. We just brought a kid on.
He's never seen Mona off the screen.
So he takes her to the premiere and to the party.
And who knows the difference?
Get me the Hollywood Hotel.
We don't tip the kid off.
Hollywood Hotel. Good evening.
Ronnie Bowers? Just a minute. Here's your party.
Hello, Mr. Walton. Yeah, I looked around a little bit
and mailed a few postal cards.
Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm a little bit lonesome...
...but I'll be alright when I get to work. Mm-hm.
Hey, hold on. There must be something wrong with this phone.
Yeah, You kind of scared me there for a minute.
I thought you said you wanted me to take Mona Marshall
to a premiere.
[CHUCKLES]
You did? You mean the big star? The one that's in the pictures?
I don't know her. Would she go with me?
She will? Oh, say, that's wonderful.
Yeah, well, what'll I wear? Where does she live?
The Hollywood Hotel? Where's that? Oh, oh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm here now, yeah.
Eight o'clock? Eight o'clock. Alright, alright, I'll be there.
Yeah. I gotta go now. I gotta go.
I gotta go take a bath.
Goodbye.
That's wonderful. Did you hear that?
I'm taking Mona Marshall to the premiere.
The star in pictures. Wait till the boys in the band hear this.
Have I got a clean collar? Did I bring my suit? Oh, boy. Mona.
Oh, boy.
Come in, there's nobody here. Everything worked out fine.
That's great. Cleo, this is Miss Virginia Stanton.
She's the spitting image.
She'll be when I get through with her.
Hope so. This is Mr. Perc Westmore. You've heard of him.
How do you do?
Let's go into Mona's room and get started.
-How long will it take you? -Maybe an hour.
-You got everything? -I think so.
If you haven't, Cleo here will help you out.
Everything's been fixed. I don't want you to worry about a thing.
Least of all, about Bowers.
He'll be a cinch for you to handle.
Don't forget that you're Mona Marshall.
I have a hard time remembering I'm Virginia Stanton.
-Okay, you can go ahead now. -Can we get started?
I've to get to the theater. I'll have the car in time.
-Alright, Mr. Walton. -Thanks.
Nobody gets in but Bowers.
No. You know I ain't never failed you yet.
You're a good girl. So long, everybody. I'll see you later.
Ooh, what a lot of makeup.
PERC: Let me see.
Well, let's highlight the cheeks
and we'll change the brow a little bit.
A little more rouge. Mary, let me have those pictures.
Let's see.
That's the one I want. Right there.
Penthouse floor, sir.
Oh, thanks.
Oh, boy, uh, where is Miss Marshall's apartment?
Straight ahead.
-Right there? -Yes, sir.
Thanks.
Just come right in. Seat yourself.
I'll tell Miss Marshall you're here.
Thank you.
Tell Miss Marshall that Alexander DuPrey
is on his way up.
Yes, sir.
Miss Marshall's apartment, please.
[RINGING]
Hello.
Mr. Alexander DuPrey is on his way up...
...to Miss Marshall's apartment.
He is? Oh, you gotta stop him.
He can't come up here. We ain't home. Oh....
-What's the matter? -It's a man. He's coming.
-She don't wanna see him. -Tell him she's out.
-He won't take that answer. -Well, I'll tell him she's out.
[DOORBELL BUZZING]
Miss Marshall is out.
[KNOCKING]
Miss Marshall is still out.
Now, see here. I'm Alexander DuPrey.
You've seen me in pictures. What are you, a new servant?
-Where's Cleo? -Cleo is out.
Miss Marshall is out. And you're out.
Why, you--
[GRUNTS]
I'll tell Miss Marshall you called.
Oh, how do you do? You're Mr. Bowers, aren't you?
Why, yes, yes.
-How do you do? -Very well, thank you. And you?
Oh, I'm fine, I guess.
I was pleased when I heard you were to take me this evening.
Oh, I was so excited, I forgot to eat my dinner.
Oh, I'm afraid you're going to be awfully hungry.
Gosh, I couldn't eat now.
-Well, shall we go? -Why, yes.
Oh, I forgot something.
-Oh, how lovely. -Yes, they're flowers.
Oh, I guess you won't need these.
Oh, yes, I will.
I'm going to love wearing these.
[CHATTERING]
BERNIE: Louella Parsons.
-Hello. Glad to see you. -Hello, Bernie.
Looks like another great night for All-Star.
-Sure does. I hope you enjoy it. -Thank you so much.
-How are you, Eddie? -How are you, Bernie?
Miss Marshall.
[CROWD APPLAUDING]
You look grand, honey. Make a noise like a star, will you?
-Thank you. -Darling, fine--
No, no autographs. Sorry.
-Say, who is that? -I don't know.
-Why, that was Mona Marshall. -Marshall. Mona--
Name sounds familiar. That's my daughter. That's my name.
-Where are you going? -It's a lie. I had my hand out.
-Fellow hit me, ran into me. -Where's your ticket?
Wouldn't do you any good if you did give me a ticket.
-The ticket for the show. -Why didn't you tell me?
Oh, here. There, your part, this is mine.
And here is Miss Mona Marshall...
...escorted by All-Star's latest singing discovery, Mr.--
-Hey, what's the kid's name? -Ronnie Bowers.
-Ronnie Bowers. -No. no.
They've been photographed by cameramen.
I'm going to ask Miss Marshall to say a few words.
Miss, would you say a few words to our radio audience?
Hello, everybody. I wish you all could be with me this evening...
...at this glorious premiere of my latest picture
Glamour Girl.
Hope you will enjoy the picture as much as I enjoyed making it.
Oh, yes, you must meet my escort.
He's one of the nicest men I've ever met in Hollywood...
...Mr. Ronnie Bowers.
Well, what shall I--?
Oh, well, this is all pretty exciting.
I hardly know what to say.
It's my first day in Hollywood and I feel that--
That was Ronnie Bowers, ladies and gentlemen.
I see many more celebrities coming down here.
I'm going to get them up to say hello.
I'm sure that you'll--
Hope you have as much fun as I had making the picture. Hoo-hoo!
Mona. Mona. At first I didn't recognize you.
My own daughter. I never forget a face. Never.
I'll see you kids later in the Orchid Room.
Wait. The boys wanna get a picture of you.
They do? Let the newsreel boys take a couple of shots.
That's be fine. Too bad they're using cameras instead of guns.
Oh, you're killing me. You're killing.
Alright, boys, take a couple of shots.
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
[CHATTERING]
Oh, look at that.
MAN: Good evening, Mona.
Boy, those autograph hounds sure get in your hair.
Excuse us while we park our hats.
-Over here. -Over here?
Yeah. Here we are.
Oh....
Gee, this is swell.
What's that, Mona?
I mean, the Orchid Room is too, too divine this evening.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
-What do you think of it? -This is--
-It's always crowded. -I wonder if we can get a table.
Oh, my dear Mr. Bowers, when Mona Marshall appears
if they haven't got a table, they build one.
Oh, well, yeah.
Good evening, Miss Marshall, Mr. Walton. This way, please.
-Miss Marshall. WOMAN: Beautiful.
MAN: It is.
It's for you. It's for you.
Oh, thank you. Thank you.
-Mona, you were great. -Thank you.
Last scene was terrific.
-Really? -Gowns were marvelous.
-How sweet. -A sensation.
Hello, Mona, dear. Grand success tonight.
Oh, uh, Mona, you know Louella Parsons, don't you?
Oh, yes, Louella, my dear. How are you, darling?
Fine. And you?
Splendid. Splendid.
Where have you been keeping yourself?
I haven't seen you for ages.
Why, I saw you this afternoon in your apartment.
Oh, of course. Of course. How time flies, doesn't it?
I've been working so hard, it isn't any wonder that I--
Oh, Mr. Bowers, shall we dance?
Oh, sure, I'd love to. I mean, I'd be glad to, yeah.
-Oh, I'm so-- -Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, look-- Mr. Walton.
-Oh, I'm sorry. -Oh, goodness.
I didn't see him. I didn't see him, Mr. Walton.
-I'm awfully sorry. -Not here. Not here.
-Are you alright? Come on. -Perfectly alright, sir.
He's perfectly alright.
-I'm awfully sorry. -Thank you.
Oh, don't thank me, thank you. Thank you.
Never mind thanking him.
Get out there on the floor before you do some real damage.
I better. I'm awfully sorry. I didn't see him down there.
-And you won't need this. -I don't guess I will. Alright.
Anybody home? Anybody home?
-Your hat, sir. -My coat, please.
-Good evening, Mr. Marshall. -Good evening.
-How do you do, sir? -Hello. How are you?
-Here's your coat, sir. -Oh, thank you very much.
-Here. -Oh, thank you.
Oh, that's alright. That's it. Thank you.
[HUMMING]
-What about that coat? -Yes, it's a bad fit.
-Bad fit? -Too tight under the arms.
That's my coat and hat.
What are they doing on me? Take it away. Take it away.
-Give me that coat. -There you are.
Please, I'll help you, sir.
But, monsieur, please, your coat.
-What's the matter with my coat? -Mr. Marshall, here it is.
Hoo-hoo! Oh....
Look at that. Way past my bedtime. Had a wonderful time.
-Goodnight. -Goodnight.
Oh, I do hope they don't take any more pictures.
The excitement of the premiere has made me more tired...
...and nervous than I realized.
Oh, you must be tired. I never thought of that.
Is there someplace that you can go--?
I can kind of sit down and look at you.
That's a very good idea.
Well, let's go, shall we?
Isn't it nice to get away from the crowd?
Oh, being anywhere with you is pretty exciting.
I guess the crowds and the autograph hunters and stuff...
...must get on your nerves sometimes.
You're fed up with me and everyone else.
Oh, no, it's grand being with you.
It's almost made me forget a lot of things.
-Really? -Mm-hm.
-Boy, I'll never forget tonight. -Why?
It's my first night in Hollywood and being with you.
Especially being with you. It just doesn't seem real.
-Maybe it isn't. -Oh, it is with me.
You don't know it, but I've made love to you many times.
I don't mean really, though.
I mean, like when people watch a picture show...
...they always put themselves in the actors' place.
-And, now, you're in that palce. -Mm-hm.
Ooh....
Oh, it's cold.
-I love dunking my toes, you? -Uh-huh.
Oh, I'm afraid I've embarrassed you.
No. In Arkansas, where I come from, I was 18 years old
before I had on a pair of shoes.
Me for Arkansas.
Mr. Bowers, I can see that we have a great deal in common.
I hope so. I'm afraid so far, I haven't been very bright.
Gosh, you're a big celebrity and you're beautiful.
You're glamorous.
-You got swell teeth. -What?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm all mixed up again.
Oh, I wouldn't say that. I think you're kind of witty.
Oh, no, I'm not witty. Would you believe I took Pelmanism...
...to give me some magnetism to put myself across?
[SINGING] And so it really seems a pity
You put me at a total loss
I'm like a fish out of water
When I'm with you
Just like J.P. Morgan swinging it on the organ
Or Dizzy Dean with no ballyhoo
Every time that I'm with you
I'm like a fish out of water
When you're around
I'm like Eddie Cantor doing a Van Devanter
Or Colonel Lindbergh upon the ground
Whenever you're around
I feel so small
And I get red as a beet
I trip and fall
I'm all hands and feet
I'm quite a card and a cutup around the boys
But you make me shut up and lose my poise
It's a funny thing what love can do
I'm like a fish out of water
With you
Though I'm good at conversation
Though I've been around a lot
Though I make a showing to keep the party going
When the party's not so hot
In spite of my sophistication
You've put me in an awful spot
I'm like a fish out of water
When I'm with you
Like Marion Talley doing a Rudy Vallee
Or Mickey Mouse as an ingénue
Every time that I'm with you
I'm like a fish out of water
When you're around
I'm like Ginger Rogers running the Brooklyn Dodgers
I'm on the most unfamiliar ground
Whenever you're around
My whole life through
I've always known what to say
But now with you
It all goes away
Exactly like Man O' War as an also-ran
Or like Sally Rand if she lost her fan
You can make me feel
The same way too
I'm like a fish out of water
With you
DOT: Who are you? I want Fuzzy.
Fuzzy.
Fuzzy, where are you?
Fuzzy, where are you?
Hey, Fuzzy.
Hey, Fuzzy, wait for me. Wait.
Fuzzy.
Hey, how long you fellas been here? Ha-ha.
Hey, Fuzzy, where are you?
-Oh, Fuzzy? -He went that way.
Oh, there you are. I'm gonna get you.
Oh!
I'm gonna get you. Aa-ha-ha!
Now, we can continue our interesting talk.
What, again?
Cut it out, kid.
Cut it out, will you, kid?
[SPUTTERING]
[LAUGHING]
[SINGING] I feel all wet
And it's no wonder I do
That's how I get
When I'm out with you
So if I act like a dummy and seem insane
And won't even come in out of the rain
[LAUGHING]
It's a funny thing what love can do
I'm like a fish out of water with
There you are.
-Don't bother. I'll take it in. -Thank you, madame.
-Here's birdseed and coffee. -Where's the paper?
Here. Wonder if there's anything about the premiere.
The usual thing. I don't see why they think...
-...my pictures are important. -Wondered about that myself.
There are more important things going on in the world.
There happens to be a very serious war in China.
I haven't had a picture released there in more than a year.
And there's another important world event.
They tell me Russia no longer has a czar.
My dear, it's a wonder to me--
Oh!
What's the matter? Did the czar show up?
-What do you make out of that? -What?
Look at it. Read it.
"Stars attend brilliant premiere of Glamour Girl."
[READING NEWSPAPER]
MONA: How do you like that?
I'll get back to that office. I'll show them a thing or two.
I can't figure this out. Who's this guy you're with?
Who's that he's with? That's what I wanna know.
If you knew who he was, you could find out who you were.
You were in Santa Barbara last night, or did you sleepwalk?
If I did, it wouldn't have been to a show.
-Somebody impersonated you. -They can't get away with it.
-That's forgery. -Yeah--
Who does that guy Faulkin think he is anyway?
Pulling a trick like that. There's a few choice remarks
I've been wanting to deliver to that crowd.
The place will be in flames by the time I'm through with it.
-I'll show them. -Yes.
Who do they think I am, some fly-by-night girl?
-Yes. -What?
If it doesn't rain, the fight will be in the open.
They start playing with my personality behind my back.
Right on time.
Mona, good morning. Have a nice trip?
Don't "Good morning" me.
-What's the matter? -Look.
"What's the matter?" He wants to know what's the matter.
There I was in utter exclusion
my nerves pounding at every pore.
All I wanted was a little rest, rest and peace...
...to be away from it all.
When all of a sudden, I saw this awful picture.
This girl, this nobody telling the world she's Mona Marshall.
A girl who doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to me.
What? That girl's the image of you. We fooled everybody.
She didn't fool me, and neither did you, Bernie Walton.
A handkerchief.
DuPREY: And that ruffian with his gang of armed hoodlums.
Is it possible for one man to do a thing like this?
Well, yes, if he was under 70.
You allow my home to be overrun with gangsters.
Think of my family. They might have been murdered in bed.
But, Mona, dear--
I refuse to work in the same studio with that jailbird.
You refuse? And what about me?
Is my life and my reputation of no importance?
Does it matter now that you have this marvelous double?
She's so good at fooling everybody
she can fool them at the box office.
I demand that this impostor and her crooning gangster be fired.
-They should be deported. -Sent back to their country.
But, Mona, they're perfectly innocent.
We've got a contract with Bowers.
Alright, nobody cares anymore about Mona Marshall.
I'll step aside.
Oh, don't protest.
I know my career's over...
...practically in my teens.
There'll be a few fans remember me.
I suppose.
Pay attention.
I liked you better in Exiled Lovers.
There's nothing left for me now but a monastery and my memories.
[BUZZES]
-Yes? -Mr. Bowers to see Mr. Faulkin.
Bowers? Have him wait.
You're not asking the important Mr. Bowers to wait, are you?
I mean nothing. Ask him to come in.
If you do, I don't face another camera and neither does Alex.
-Enjoy the premiere last night? -Oh, yes. Very much.
-I took Miss Marshall. -Yes, I know. I saw you there.
Isn't she beautiful?
She's adorable.
Mona, darling.
-I'll never forgive you. -For what?
For not blacking both his eyes.
They've decided to pay you off for the rest of your contract.
You'll find the cashier's office down the hall.
Just mark it down to experience, kid. Good luck.
Mona Marshall's apartment, please.
Hey, Bowers. Wait a minute. I wanna see you.
Hello, Jonesy? How's Bernhardt this morning?
Hope she hasn't forgotten she's laying a cornerstone.
I'm gonna grab a cup of coffee. Listen, stick a firecracker
under Marshall and get her moving.
I'm your manager, watch your p's and q's.
Look at me once in a while.
-How are you, Bowers? -Hello.
How do you expect a guy to feel, the way you tossed him around?
Go back to your rat hole. What are you doing with this guy?
-He's my manager. -The manager.
Maybe after what happened yesterday, I better have one.
Don't blame you for being sore. It's part of the game.
Anything can happen. Come and have coffee.
You too, chiseler. It's free. You worry too much.
He threw you out of the studio.
He's plotting to get you thrown out of town, I ain't leaving.
-Mr. Walton. Glad to see you. -Hello.
-This way. -Hi, Frenchie.
-How's the floorshow? -This is the coffee shop.
Coffee shop? Give me a tea. That'll cross them up.
Ha-ha. That's a corker.
-Hats, please. -Thank you.
Here, take this.
Last time I watched it, somebody stole my dinner.
-Virginia? -Yes, sir.
-This table, please. -Yes, sir.
When it's all written out like this, I can't make up my mind.
-Your order, please. -Why, I--
I'll have some--
Hello, Mona.
Hey, Walton, what is this, a gag?
May I have your order, please?
BERNIE: Orange juice and coffee will do. What'll you have?
What is this? A publicity stunt?
-Wait a minute. -Wait, nothing.
Last time I saw her, I got my face slapped and lost my job.
Let's get out before we get thrown in jail.
-Let him go. VIRGINIA: You don't understand.
Come on, Frenchie.
Strongheart, behave. Now, Baby, walk straight.
Hurry up. Everybody's watching.
Who, me? Hoo-hoo!
Time marches on.
I told you to watch out for that guy.
There's one mistake we made. We should have eaten first.
Mona, Mona, what is this? A minute ago you were a waitress.
Waitress?
Wait a minute, that's my client. Oh, hey, she hit me too.
Behave. Behave.
CHESTER: Oh, hey.
[CHATTERING]
Hey, where's the dog?
Baby, Strongheart, come back to Mommy.
Look here. Who was I out with last night?
You were out with that waitress. I was gonna tell you.
-What's her name? -Virginia Stanton.
She used to double for Marshall.
Oh, then it was Mona Marshall who slapped me.
-Oh, it wasn't Joe Louis. -It felt like it.
All's fair in love and war in the Publicity Department.
Hey, Walton, prosperity hasn't changed you a bit. Ha-ha.
You're still a rat.
-Back again, sir? Alone? -What do I look like, a crowd?
[LAUGHING]
What are you, crazy or something? Blown your topper?
-Virginia. I've to talk to you. -Please, I'm busy.
I knows but I'm awfully sorry I made that scene.
-You're making another one. -You must know how I felt.
We went out and we had fun.
Next time I saw you, you slapped my face.
-The eggs go to the lady. -Excuse me.
-What? I never hit you. -I know. Mona Marshall hit me.
-Cream? -Sugar?
-One lump. -One lump. Yes. And you?
-Four, yeah. -Trouble is, you're starstruck.
While you thought I was Mona, I was fine.
When you found out I was a waitress, you lost interest.
I never did any such thing. I've always loved waitresses.
-I mean, I love waitresses. -What?
-I mean, I love a waitress. -I love my job. Go away.
Please, don't talk business during business hours.
-I'm sorry. -Go away, you romance wrecker.
This boy loves this girl. Should it matter where he loves her?
Do little birdies look where they are when they make love?
Love, love, love, love.
Love is a beautiful thing.
And you think pots and pans and scrambled eggs...
...and bad coffee are important.
Young man, I congratulate you and this beautiful girl.
And phooey on this peasant.
I guess-- I guess I better go, huh?
-Yes, please. Go. -I'll see you later. Goodbye.
Listen, Mr. Sight-Seer, I still juggle trays
at that diamond-studded beanery.
I've got to get some sleep, or I'll be losing my job too.
You promised to show me the town.
I pointed out the Cocoanut Grove...
...Trocadero and the Brown Derby.
-I was looking at you. -Oh, silly.
Say, do you realize we're on a dead-end street?
-How in the world did I do that? -By looking at me.
-Are you satisfied? -No, and I never will be.
I'd still rather look at you. Where are we now?
We're still sight-seeing, I suppose.
Over that hill, Mr. Bowers, is the famous Hollywood Bowl.
-The Hollywood Bowl? -Mm-hm.
-Say, can we get in? -At midnight?
Why not? It's the best time to get seats.
We won't be bothered with shows. Where's the entrance?
Highland Avenue. You can't get in. Gates are closed.
-Let's climb over the hill. -What?
-You promised to show the town. -Very well, if you insist.
I always wanted to see the Hollywood Bowl.
Oh, lady, this is something.
And this, Mr. Bowers, is the Hollywood Bowl.
RONNIE: A person singing on that stage way down there...
...can be heard all the way up here?
I can prove it. Stay right where you are.
-Well, wait a minute. -You stay there.
Yoo-hoo! Can you hear me?
I can hear you, but I can hardly see you.
I can see you.
You look like the man in the moon.
[SINGING] I'll remember this moment
I'll wrap this picture in a dream
For, silhouetted in the moonlight
How sweet you seem
Through the long night of waiting
I'll hardly know that you are gone
For, silhouetted in the moonlight
You will linger on
Your actions, your expression
Will fill my heart
And thrill my heart
Every single moment we're apart
So I'll never be lonely
Though there be shadows everywhere
For, silhouetted in the moonlight
You'll be there
-Wonderful. -Oh, thank you, monsieur.
Well, here we are. Your future factory.
I hope so.
Something tells me we shouldn't have bought this car.
-It ain't paid for yet, is it? -That's the trouble.
Didn't I tell you to stop worrying? I'm the manager.
We're going inside, talk business...
...we're not gonna take the first thing that comes along.
We're gonna play hard to get. Come on, kid.
This guy's another Caruso. He's going places.
What's he stopping here for?
-What, getting ignorant on me? -I'll call him when I need him.
He said he'd call us when he needs us. Alright. Come on.
Sorry, we're not making any musicals right now.
We can take a hint.
Radio and opera. They're all after him.
Let radio and opera catch him. We're not using singers.
Well, how about me? You know, I do an impersonation.
[SINGING] When there are blue skies--
CASTING DIRECTOR: No. No.
-You ought-- RONNIE: Come on.
There goes my last chance of ever getting a job with a band.
Oh, bands are passe anyhow.
Imagine only getting $10 for a saxophone.
You should've brought a piano. Ha-ha-ha.
I like that new tune, Benny.
-Oh, you do, huh? That's swell. -Oh, here's a mailbox.
Wait. I'll help you.
Ronnie. Hey, Benny and Alice, look, there's Ronnie.
-Hey there. -Oh, Ronnie.
Hey, Benny.
Give me that. It might be a touch.
GEORGIA: There's Ronnie. BENNY: Hey, Ronnie.
[HORN HONKING]
-Ronnie. It's good to see you. -How are you?
-Ronnie. -Hello, Georgia, Benny.
How's the moving-picture star?
You don't know what a kick we get out of seeing you.
It's swell seeing you. What are you doing out here?
The band's opening in the Orchid Room at Hollywood Hotel.
-How's that for a break? -Hey, that's great.
[HORNS HONKING]
-Hi, kid, how are you? -Come on.
You're breaking the traffic laws. Move along.
We're citizens. What are you doing?
Ronnie, we'll have a swell time. I'd love to see the studio.
We'd sure like to see the Brown Derby.
How about taking us all there for lunch?
-Uh, well-- -No. No need to bother him.
He can't. He's making a picture on location.
Here's your car. Here comes his car.
-There's his car. -What a beaut.
He's gotta go on location.
Come to our opening tomorrow night.
Maybe we can sing a song together again.
Just for old times' sake?
-Well, well, I-- -He's in the picture business.
He's gotta go on location in the High Sierras.
He's making a North Pole and a South Pole, you know.
Everything wholesale--
Hey, there goes your car.
-You telling us? -Goodbye.
Ronnie. Say, Ronnie, look. When'll we see you again?
-There you are, Mike. -Hey, ain't this ***?
That Virginia fixed us up alright, didn't she?
-At least we get fresh air. -There's fresh air here
But there's no fresh air in that kitchen.
There's a rat sitting in the icebox with his arms folded.
I ain't kidding, on the level. Oh, it's you.
Wash them. Don't throw them away.
Alright, I'll wash them.
Or maybe you'd like me to do it so you won't get your
lily-white hands all rough and red.
All I do is wash dishes. People eat off of them again.
They get fat, go on a diet. Get thin, anemic.
Then start eating. Then I start washing the dishes again.
It don't make sense, I'm telling you. It don't make any--
Those dishes come out of your salary.
Thank you.
Have someone take that out to the fat man for me.
Okay.
-Hello. -How's it going?
Easy on the head, tough on the feet.
-I'll be through in a while. -Okay, I'll wait.
How about a double-chocolate malted?
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
Okay, kid.
For our next number, ladies and gentlemen...
...we're gonna play a tune that featured Ronnie Bowers
when he was with the band.
Ronnie's up on location making a big picture.
He couldn't be with us tonight, we all hope he's listening in.
[SINGING] Oh, Columbus was the discoverer of America
And he sailed the sea in 1492
But the good Queen Isabella
Found a more attractive fella
And Columbus wound up in the jug-a-roo
[SCATTING]
Let that be a lesson to you
Now, everybody meets his Waterloo
Oh, he wasn't too big to end up behind the eight ball
And remember, buddy there's a lot o' room for you
[MUSIC PLAYS]
[SINGING] Ronnie Bowers once was a singer In Benny Goodman's band
And he came to Hollywood to be a star
But his screen career was halted
By a double-chocolate malted
Now his spotlight is the headlight on a car
Oh, let that be a lesson to you
Everybody meets his Waterloo
I wasn't too big to end up behind the eight ball
And remember, honey, string along and you will be there too
What's the difference if you're a waiter
Or you're a movie star?
Don't you know that I'm all for you anyhow?
That's the kind of girlfriend I am in the words of Omar Khayyám
Give me ham on rye a lemonade and thou
Oh, let that be a lesson to you
Now, things are not so tough in Waterloo
You really don't have to end up behind the eight ball
Give a good kiss, honey and watch it roll away from you
Hey, Bowers, that ain't no part of Callahan service.
Oh, let that be a lesson to you
It is.
That shows you what the old love bug will do
Yeah, kind of looks as though she's putting you...
...behind the eight ball, eh, buddy?
What do I care, Pop? If there's room enough for baby too
[HONKING HORN]
Pardon me, young man, will you bring me a soda right away?
Why, sure.
You can make our order just the same as Pa's
That'll be one, two, three, four drinks?
Kids, you'll have to pay for your drinks
Well, in that case, bring his drink and three more straws
Oh, let that be a lesson to you
Oh, yeah?
I can see your Pa knows what to do
Says you
You're never too big to end up behind the eight ball
So remember, buddy there's still a lot o' room for you
-And you -And you
-Who, me? -Yeah
There's still a lot o' room for you
Bowers, stop that singing.
[CROWD APPLAUDING]
MAN: More. More.
Callahan service.
Oh, let that be a lesson to you
Certainly
Everybody meets his Waterloo
Certainly
You're never too big to end up behind the eight ball
So remember, buddy there's a lot o' room for you
Mr. Samson once was the mightiest man upon the Earth
He could lift a building forty times his size
But his muscles couldn't save him
'Cause he let Delilah shave him
When she got through he couldn't lift his eyes
Now, why don't you let that be a lesson
A lesson to you?
Please, hear me
Just remember what a gal can do
If little Delilah put him
Put him behind that eight ball
Why don't you please remember, buddy la-da-la-da
Please remember, buddy la-da-la-da
That's what I'm going to do to you
De-de-de-de-da-da-da-da
I'm going to do to you, yeah
Listen, sister, don't you remember Jonah and the whale?
Yes, the whale thought he was quite an eater too
I don't know about your figure
But the whale's was even bigger
And he found out he bit off more than he could chew
Oh, hallelujah let that be a lesson to you
There's nothin' that the whale He could do
He wasn't too big to end up with indigestion
Take it easy, sister
You're gonna be the same way too Oh!
Take it easy, sister
You're gonna be the same way too, yeah
Oh, Columbus did discover our America
He sailed the sea in 1492
What a hero
But the good Queen Isabella
She found a more attractive fella
And Columbus wound up in the jug-a-roo
Oh, let that be a lesson to you Yeah, you
Everybody meets his Waterloo
[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] He wasn't too big to end up
Behind the eight ball
And remember, buddy there's still a lot o' room for you
Oh, let that be
Da-da-da
A lesson to you
Everybody meets his Waterloo
He wasn't too big to end up behind the eight ball
Oh, don't forget it
You'll regret it
Gonna save a place for you
Room for 200
Room for 5000
Room for 10 million
Room for 12 billion
Still a lot of room for you
[HORN HONKING]
Hey. Come here.
Excuse me, honey. I'll see you later.
Alright.
-Yes, sir. -You sing alright.
-Thank you. -Think of going into pictures?
I've thought about it. That's far as I got.
-My name's Walter Kelton. -Glad to know you.
-Ronnie Bowers. -Now, listen, Bowers.
I'm directing a musical over at All-Star.
I can use your voice. That is, if you're interested.
You mean-- You mean you wanna hire me for a picture?
Right. Get me an orange juice, a chicken sandwich on rye toast.
Yes, sir.
Here we go, Cyril. Look out there.
Ha-ha! He missed them. I couldn't help it. He missed.
Here, what's the matter with you? You drinking or something?
Hey, those dishes come out of your salary.
You know you make more money off these dishes than you do food?
Hey, Fuzzy. A great thing just happened.
-Price of dishes go down? -No, no.
Walter Kelton, director of All-Star, just gave me a job.
-He ordered a chicken on rye. -Ordered chicken on--
-The moving-picture guy? -I gotta get his order now.
-Here. You gonna call me, right? -Hey. Hey. Hey.
Virginia. I'm all set in pictures. I'm all set.
Walter Kelton, the director, gave me a part in a picture.
He ordered juice and chicken sandwich.
-On toast? -Yeah. Yeah. On toast, rye.
What? I'm gonna be in pictures.
-Are you playing a waiter? -No. I'm gonna sing.
There's his card. Walter Kelton, director, All-Star Pictures.
Didn't I tell you? Isn't that swell?
If he sticks with me, we're going places.
We're gonna go places.
Imagine what'll happen when I get working this noodle.
Wait. Wait till I bawl this Callahan guy out.
-Why don't you tell him? -Just a minute. A minute.
May I suggest maybe you are building up to a letdown.
-What do you mean? -You have this job.
It isn't much, but you get paid.
Before you say anything to Callahan wait till tomorrow.
What are you trying to do, give the kid an inferiority complex?
I just happened to have a long talk with the director...
...and the studios expect big things from him.
Once before they expected great things of you...
...the next day you were O-U-T, pronounced "fired" to you.
Virginia, don't try and change the subject, because--
-Ahem. -Look out.
Excuse me for intruding
I hate to break up this little tete-a-tete...
...but the customers are waiting.
Will you get those trays moving?
What do you mean, trying to strike a lady?
You should be ashamed.
Hey, let me ask you a question, curly-locks.
Are we men or are we mice?
-You got me there. -Yeah?
He's not carrying no more trays. I ain't washing no more dishes.
You get two new waiters. We're quitting.
You're fired.
-Virginia. Wait a minute. -Ronnie, you're a fool.
Wait a minute. All I got is a chance to go in pictures.
-I guess she's mad. -Let's get out of here.
Got plenty of work tomorrow.
Shouldn't have got these suits until we got my first paycheck.
You're gonna be an important guy. Gotta dress the part.
I hope so, but having that 100 bucks to pay tonight worries me.
What are you worrying about?
We'll get an advance or you won't chirp a note.
Here they are. Here's the set.
They're getting ready to make a shot.
Quiet. Get this camera over here and put the dolly on the track.
Let's have the music.
Sam, start your song. Action.
[SINGING] Gone are the days
KELTON: No, no, dear. Let me explain to you.
My child, you've got to suffer.
You've got to feel it from your heart.
Your lover is going away. He may never return.
Don't you understand? Right from the heart.
Alright. Go ahead and suffer. Let me see it.
Alright.
[SIGHS]
That's fine. Alright, DuPrey, that's your cue to come on.
-Lucy. -Bob.
-Goodbye, honey. Mammy. Tom. -Goodbye, Master Roberts.
I'm depending on you to take care of Lucy while I'm away.
Yes, sir, Master Roberts.
I'll protect her with every drop of blood there is
in this old black body of mine.
I know you will, Tom.
Oh.... I can't let you go, my darling.
But she has let me go. It doesn't make sense.
Don't leave him. Stay there in the embrace.
Oh, yes.
Oh, I can't let you go, my darling.
-I may never see you again. -There, honey. Dry your tears.
I wanna leave you with a smile on your face.
Listen, they're singing.
Walk with me to the gate, honey.
They ought to put this picture on the shelf and release DuPrey.
I'm coming
[GIBBERING]
Cut it. Cut it.
Who is that monkey over there?
Come on. Get up. What's the big idea?
Mr. Kelton. Some makeup, huh? Some makeup. You know who I am?
-Mona's father. Uncle Tom. -Get off the set.
What? Here she comes.
Don't tell her. Make her guess a while.
Make her guess.
Father. Father. What is all this ridiculous nonsense?
Oh, Missy, don't let them sell me down the river.
Don't let Simon Legree beat me no more.
I pick my cotton by the bale. Don't sell me down the river.
Call lunch. We gotta re-take the whole scene.
Lunch, everybody. Back in one hour.
You go home. I'll do the acting for this family.
Your lunch, Mr. Kelton.
-Mr. Drew. -Thank you.
-Hi, Kelton. Well, there he is. -Hello, Mr. Kelton.
You asked me to drop in this morning
and see you about a part in a picture.
You remember me, don't you? From the drive-in last night?
-Oh, yes. -Certainly you remember him.
He's another Caruso. I'm the manager.
I'm not gonna charge you much dough.
-But the second picture-- -The second.
-Oh, yeah. Drew? -Yes, sir.
This is Bowers, the singer I was telling you about.
-Hello. -Glad to know you.
How soon can you arrange to see the music?
-We could do it right now. -How many songs?
-Three. -Three?
That's swell. What kind of a part do I play?
You don't play any kind of a part.
KELTON: We just use your voice. You don't appear in the picture.
DREW: The picture's a musical. DuPrey can't sing
And we wanna dub your voice in for his.
I don't even appear on the screen?
That's right. We just make a record of your voice.
When we shoot, DuPrey just goes through the motions of singing.
When the picture comes out, the audience will think
DuPrey is singing, huh?
-That's right. -I happen to be the manager.
What are you doing, giving us the shuffle?
Wait a minute. What's the matter with you guys?
Nothing, I thought I was gonna get a part in the picture.
You're not gonna get a part.
You get $100 for singing those songs.
-Take it or leave it. -Better than juggling trays.
I'd like to do it. Only thing I thought--
Take him over to the studio, have him see Forbes.
If this manager gets in the way call the studio cops.
-Yes, sir. Boys, out this way. -Okay. I get it. I get the hint.
Go ahead. Drink your milk, bottle and all.
Ha-ha. Wise guy. Come on.
Hollywood Hotel. Good morning.
Benny Goodman? He's rehearsing in the Orchid Room...
...and can't be disturbed. You're welcome.
[PLAYING "SING, SING, SING"]
Alright, boys, that's all.
Don't forget, let's be on time tonight.
[SINGING] I've hitched my wagon to a star
That lucky little star
That watches over you
And now no ties can bind me
I'll go where you go
I've left the world behind me
And I want the world to know
If it wants me it can find me
In your afterglow
I've tied my heartstrings to a dream
That lucky little dream
That introduced me to you
I've made my heart a guiding chart
To lead me where you are
I've hitched my wagon to a star
Doesn't Alexander's voice just thrill you?
He makes the goose pimples run up and down my spine.
Let's get out. I can't even call my voice my own.
Yeah. ***. That guy ruins your voice.
-Why don't you stand up? -Watch where you're going.
-Who said that? -I did.
Oh, I thought it was you.
[CHATTERING]
-Mona. -Yes, dear.
Have you seen Louella? I wonder if she liked the picture.
There she is.
-Oh, hello, Louella. -Oh, hello, Louella.
-How are you, darling? -Mona.
I'm so glad to see you.
Alex, why did you keep it a secret?
What a voice. I didn't know you could sing.
Yes, divinely.
Why didn't you tell me he could sing?
-Well, dear, I was-- -You see, Louella.
Didn't want to bewilder public by showing my talents at once.
I felt my acting would be sufficient. Thank you.
When I feel the public are ready, I give them my singing.
Let's tell the world. You're both to be my guests on
the Hollywood Hotel program Friday night.
-In the Orchid Room? -Yes.
That'll be splendid.
Alex can sing the numbers from his picture.
-Of course he can. -I'll too delighted, Louella.
Goodbye. Congratulations, Mona
and don't let him lose that wonderful voice.
Don't worry. He can't.
[LAUGHING]
-Goodbye. -Goodnight, Louella.
Come on, girls. Let's go now.
[JONESY AND MONA LAUGHING]
What's the joke?
So you're going to sing on the radio?
-How nice. With whose voice? -With whose voice? Why, with--
I can't sing.
You're a little late in discovering that.
What'll I do?
Something could happen to your throat.
-You might try cutting it. -Yes.
[LAUGHING]
I pay my publicity department thousands a year.
What good does it do me? Can't keep DuPrey quiet.
That guy needs a muzzle.
I don't want wisecracks. I want action.
DuPrey can't sing, and he's gotta sing on that show.
-Who's gonna do it, you? -Don't get excited.
We'll get the guy whose voice we used in the picture.
Oh. But we can't. What about the mob that watches the program?
DuPrey gets temperamental and has to sing from another studio.
-Oh, boy, I'm a genius. -Never mind being a genius.
This fella that sings for DuPrey, where is he?
-I don't know where he is. -What? You don't know--
Now, don't get excited, B.L.
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
-Yes? -Miss Stanton to see you, sir.
Stanton? What does--?
Virginia Stanton. I sent for her.
The singer's girlfriend. She'll know.
Send her in.
She's the girl who doubled for Marshall.
Bowers fell in love with her.
I couldn't find Bowers, I called her.
BERNIE: Hello, Virginia.
-Did you want to see me? -Yes. Come on in here.
-We wanna talk to you a minute. -Where's--?
-How do you do? What's his name? -Ronnie Bowers.
-We're looking for him. -What do you want?
He has to sing on the Hollywood Hotel program.
Oh, that's wonderful. What about DuPrey?
He'll be there, Miss Stanton, Mr. DuPrey cannot sing...
...in spite of the contrary impression
that he has given press and public.
-So? -So we want Bowers...
...to sing for DuPrey, incognito, so to speak.
Oh.
-For how much? -The usual, 100 bucks.
-Not enough. -Two hundred.
You're not even warm.
-Three hundred. -No.
-Four hundred. -No.
-Alright, $500. -Whose money are you spending?
-Is it a deal? -No, it isn't.
-What would you--? -We can get together.
-If we could only find Ronnie. -You don't know where he is?
-Don't worry. We'll find him. -You have to find him.
If DuPrey sings on the air I'm gonna stop breathing it.
DISPATCHER: Attention all cars:
Bulletin from the Missing Persons Bureau.
Be on the lookout for Ronnie Bowers.
-Come on, Fireworks, step on it. -Stop yelling. Here we are.
Alright. Get in before you get arrested.
A corker. Get in before you get arrested.
Be on the lookout for Ronnie Bowers. Age, 26--
That's a nice radio you got in your car.
--sings and plays saxophone.
Do you hear that?
-What? -You're still missing.
-It's time to find yourself. -I like it this way.
Find out what's going on. Maybe somebody left you a legacy.
All I wanna be left is alone.
Of course I won't, Fuzzy. Not a word. But why?
You know how he is. He's got an overdose of pride
especially where you're concerned.
Okay, Virginia.
Hey, Ronnie.
Ronnie. Everything is alright. You got nothing to worry about--
Do you two have to keep talking all the time?
You should be lecturers, not waiters.
If you don't like us, what'd you hire us back?
You're the only two half-wits that'll work for me
a second time. I'm a public-spirited citizen.
And I'm trying to keep you deadheads off the relief roll.
[HORN BLOWS]
My good man. My host. Landlord. Landlord. Landlord. Here.
-Alright. -Here you are.
Come on. Come on. Take your time.
Hey, what do you want, Paul Revere?
I want two double-malted milks. Plenty of shake.
One for me and one for Clarence, the horse.
Hello, Fuzzy. Thanks for calling me. Where is he?
Wait. He's back there washing dishes.
You know, Callahan thought it's best we change jobs
but it's no good for me at all.
-Oh, hey. Cut it out, will you? -Hey, that lady's here.
-Oh, hello. -Hello, mister.
Some people are stubborn.
Oh, yeah?
Did I ever tell you dishwashers fascinate me?
-Oh, yeah? -Even when they do stupid things
-like hiding out on me. -You were right. I was wrong.
Nobody admits his girl has more sense.
I'm too smart to ever let you admit that.
I have big business and glad tidings.
Come here a moment, won't you? Come on, Ronnie.
-I have wonderful news for you. -Yeah? What?
You're going on the Hollywood Hotel broadcast, Friday.
-For money? -No. Cigar coupons.
Well, that's great, honey. But what for?
-For Love & Glory, a few bucks. -Oh, no.
I happen to be the manager. Never mind.
He's gonna get his usual $100.
-We're going to get $500. -That's alright.
-No. -What do you mean, $500?
A few songs? They'll get DuPrey to sing it.
They won't unless he sings it in a bathtub. The price is $1000.
Wait. The producer himself don't get that kind of money.
-He can't sing. -This is an out-and-out stickup.
-What's the matter? -What if it is?
-$1000. -Hooray!
-A song. -A song. Both of you are crazy.
Wait a minute. Isn't DuPrey gonna be on that program?
Yes, but you know DuPrey can't sing and All-Star thought that--
-Oh, I see, All-Star? -Yes.
If All-Star thinks I'm gonna sing for DuPrey again...
...they're thinking wrong.
Don't think anything about it.
Keep your mind on the $2000 and maybe they'll pay it.
Virginia, let's tiptoe away. Maybe he'll fall asleep.
When he wakes up, he'll be alright.
No, I won't. If my voice is used again, my face goes with it.
-What do you want? -What's going on?
-What's the matter? -I'll tell you.
He won't let DuPrey use his voice again.
I wouldn't let him use my razor. It isn't sharp enough.
You're a big help. You need the money.
I need my self-respect more.
The boy is right. Let's hatch a conspiracy. Come on.
-A conspiracy? -A conspiracy.
Hey, look, look. I got a great idea. Come here.
[COUGHING]
I think something like this will suggest a sore throat.
-Very nice indeed. -Thank you.
Miss Marshall just called.
-Why didn't you let me talk? -She seemed in a hurry.
She said she'd pick you up in her car.
Hurry up. Let's get dressed. Get my tails and things. You know.
-Mona, darling. -Hello, Alex.
-A new car, isn't it, dear? -I have it on approval.
I wanted to see what you thought of it darling.
Something to carry the laundry in, you know.
Well, it's very nice, perhaps something more elaborate...
...all white, would be more fitting your position.
You know, this broadcast should be very interesting.
I've never thought of radio before
as a means of projecting my art.
It's frightening to think millions of people...
...all over the world stopping at their work...
...just to listen to my voice.
And, of course, yours too, darling.
Just fancy, they'll even be hearing it in Siberia.
You should be very popular there.
Yeah.
Hadn't we better be starting back? It's 5:00, and I--
Uh, we go on the air at 6.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
This is Ken Niles welcoming you to Hollywood Hotel.
Tonight is a gala night in the Orchid Room...
...for Louella Parsons has as her guests
those two popular screen stars:
Mona Marshall and Alexander DuPrey...
...who will preview scenes from their latest picture
Love & Glory.
But more about that later on.
Now, let's get on with the show.
Tonight, the Orchid Room bids au revoir to Benny Goodman...
...and a welcome to Raymond Paige and his orchestra...
...who are back after their vacation.
Thank you, Ken, and thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
And, now, spotlight for our own Jerry Cooper.
Jerry sings for the first time on the air a lovely ballad:
"Silhouetted in the Moonlight."
You're on the air, Jerry.
Thank you, Ken.
A beautiful song calls for a beautiful girl.
And so I've persuaded that charming singer of songs...
...Miss Alice Craine, to join me.
[SINGING] I'll remember this moment
I'll wrap this picture in a dream
For, silhouetted in the moonlight
How sweet you seem
Through the long night of waiting
I'll hardly know that you are gone
For, silhouetted in the moonlight
You'll linger on
Your actions, your expression
Oh, they fill my heart
And thrill my heart
Every single moment we're apart
So I'll never be lonely
Though there be shadows everywhere
For, silhouetted in the moonlight
You'll be there
Your actions, your expression
Will fill my heart
And thrill my heart
Every single moment we're apart
So I'll never be lonely
Though there be shadows everywhere
For, silhouetted in the moonlight
You'll be there
ANNOUNCER: You're listening to the Hollywood Hotel program.
This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.
Mona, did you hear that?
Your clock's wrong. It's past 6 already. What'll we do?
We won't do anything.
I don't believe we've ever met, Mr. DuPrey.
-I'm Virginia Stanton. -What?
April-fooled in September. Hoo-hoo!
You're an impostor.
This is kidnapping. I'll call the police.
Kidnapped? You been free since you been in this car.
You can get out whenever you wanna.
-I wanna get out of here now. -You do? Go ahead.
The whole road is yours.
Take care of your throat. It gets awfully windy here.
That ain't the wind. That's Alex. Hoo!
[HORN HONKS]
And now ladies and gentlemen, Raymond Paige...
...who gives us his own special arrangement...
...of a Russian gypsy folk song, "Dark Eyes."
Take it away, Raymond.
[SINGING] Eyes so dark and bright
Bow
Light my way tonight
Bow
Into lands of love
Bow
Where we'll find delight
Where all sorrow's gone
Where love reigns alone
Where I'll be with you
My dark eyes
And now we come to the highlight of our evening's entertainment.
Presenting the originator of the Orchid Room...
...the first lady of Hollywood, Louella Parsons.
Thank you, Ken. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
This is certainly a star-studded evening in the Orchid Room.
One of the brightest stars is our own guest of honor...
...Mona Marshall.
Due to sudden complications,...
...Alexander DuPrey will not appear...
...with Miss Marshall, as we announced.
However, Mr. DuPrey's role will be sung and acted...
...by a promising young man...
...a boy I know you're going to love: Mr. Ronnie Bowers.
And now ladies and gentlemen, I take pleasure in presenting...
...Mona Marshall and Ronnie Bowers...
...in scenes from Love & Glory.
"The time is 1862.
The Civil War has already been in progress for one year.
We find Lucy O'Mara, a Southern belle...
...bidding a tearful goodbye to Captain Robert Cutler...
...who is rejoining his regiment at the front."
Miss Lucy, I'm powerful sorry I have to leave you...
...but I can't stay. Duty calls.
Captain Cutler, sir, this breaks my heart...
...but I wouldn't have you act no other way.
Hurry, Fuzzy, the program's half over.
Don't worry, honey child.
We'll be there to get the Yankees out the trenches.
Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hoo-hoo!
[SINGING] I've tied my heartstrings to a dream
That lucky little dream
That introduced me
-That boy's alright. -A fine time to discover it.
You had him in contract for $100 weekly and fired him.
-Get him back. -Okay. But not for $100 a week.
Alright. Not for $1000 a song, either.
I've hitched my wagon to a star
Virginia. Oh, oh.
Excuse me a minute, will you?
Virginia. Virginia. Oh, it worked. It worked.
-Certainly, it worked. -They're calling for you.
Let me go. You've got to go back.
Oh, Miss Marshall, this is Miss Stanton the one looks like you.
Thousands of girls think so, and where are they?
They're having their faces changed.
How dare you go around with a face like mine?
Why don't you have it copyrighted?
It is copywighted. For years, my face has been on the sidewalk...
...in front of Grauman's Chinese Theater.
Why don't you leave it there?
Bowers, hurry. And, Miss Marshall, they're waiting.
Wait a minute, you're making a mistake.
I am Mona Marshall.
-Miss Marshall, they're waiting. -Let them wait.
Go. Go on out there. I'll stand aside, as I always have.
What's one more sacrifice, since I've made so many?
But, Miss Marshall--
Not another word. Go. Go quickly.
I want to be alone.
-She's gone, Jonesy. She's gone. -Sure. She believed you.
[SINGING] Stand up and sing, you son of a gun
You know it's spring, you son of a gun
The skies are blue
The birds are twittering too
There's lots and lots of moon about
And that's enough to croon about
Go have your fling, you son of a gun
Let romance ring, you son of a gun
Go and get someone to make a duet
Get in the swing and sing you son of a gun
Hooray for Hollywood
Stand up and sing, you son of a gun
Hooray for Hollywood
You know it's spring, you son of a gun
Oh, the skies are blue, the birds are twittering too
There's lots and lots of moon about
And that's enough to croon about
-Go have your fling -You son of a gun
Let romance ring
You son of a gun
Go and get someone to make a duet
Get in the swing and sing you son of a gun
Sing, sing, sing, sing, you son of a gun
Give it that zing, you son of a gun
Sound your A And sing your worries away
You know it's spring, so sing, you son of a--
Swing, you son of a-- Sing, you son of a gun
Hooray for Hollywood
That screwy, ballyhoo-y Hollywood Ha-ha
Where any office boy or young mechanic can be a panic
With just a good-looking pan
And old vaudevillians are making millions
It doesn't matter if you're 5 or 50
If you look nifty
Then leave the old neighborhood
You've got a chance to win you might be Rin Tin Tin
Hooray for Hollywood
I really mean it, hooray
-Hooray -Hooray
Hooray, hooray for Hollywood
It makes your dreams come true
Just like the movies do
Hooray for Hollywood