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Welcome back to my Super Mario All-Stars Review. We've reached the grand finale, guys. You
guessed it, today's review is Super Mario Bros 3.
Super Mario Bros 3 is a famous NES game released in 1990. Even if you're not a Mario fan, I
bet you've seen pictures of that grinning little plumber wearing raccoon ears and a
tail. It's not easy to forgot such a bizarre sight. There was a ton of hype for this game,
culminating in a wretched movie called "The Wizard," which was a shameless advertisement
for Mario 3. I've never watched it but I can just tell it's bad, and not like the 80s Michael
Jackson definition of "bad," I mean groan-worthy, hideous, vile film-making.
Well, Nintendo's massive advertisement campaign really hyped everyone up and got their expectations
high for Mario 3. Then when the game came out . . . everyone loved it! Super Mario Bros
3 was a huge adventure that set the standard for every Mario game after it, and it's just
a wonderful experience. Some gamers consider it to be the best Mario game of all time and
they certainly have valid reasons for believing that.
Let's take a look at this classic Mario game and find out why everyone loves it so much,
even to this day. Follow me into the realm of P-Wings, raccoon tails, clouds and airships.
Let's get down to gaming.
Super Mario Bros 3 opens up with a red curtain, begging the existential question: "Are we
actors in the game of life? Are we but sprites to be controlled by the whim of fate? And
when we expire and go down the pipe of mortality, is there a coin heaven on the other side?"
Yeah, never mind that stuff. It's a Mario game -- you're supposed to run the right and
stop asking questions.
Here's the first level of Mario's quest. I like the graphics; not too frilly or fancy
but definitely clean and pleasant to look at. The old Mario games aren't as shiny or
cutesy as the new ones but I prefer it that way. Even on the NES, before Super Mario Bros
3 got a 16-bit facelift in All-Stars, it was a graphically impressive game. By NES standards,
the environments were rich and colorful, the enemies were great to look at, and Mario himself
looked WAY better than he ever had before.
But the gameplay is the real selling point for this title. Let's take just the first
level and see how creative it is. First, you can pick up koopa shells after you jump on
them, using them as a weapon. Second, you have a brand new power-up that lets you fly.
Third, the game combines vertical and horizontal level design by letting you fly up to the
clouds. Fourth, you can use a secret ability within 30 seconds of the game: hiding behind
the scenery. Hold down on a white block for a few seconds and you fall behind the game
screen, like you just snuck into the game's backstage. Isn't this all mind blowing stuff?
Isn't it absolute splendor? Okay, maybe I'm getting a little overexcited but you get my
point. Mario 3 had big ambitions and wow did it succeed. When you can combine genuine creativity
and smooth implementation, you have a classic on your hands.
Mario 3 is big, bold, and almost braggy in its sheer scope. Take the map screen, for
example. On the NES, it was rare for action games to have level selections options. Even
in Mega Man, you only got to choose the order of the levels. But here, you've got 8 worlds
full of branching paths and optional levels, you've got mini-games, and you've got secret
boundaries break away when you bust them with a hammer.
Another expanded feature is the 2 Player mode, where you can battle each other in a nearly
complete version of the arcade game, Mario Bros. All this was packed into one 8-bit cartridge.
Other than some graphical and sound limitations, this could easily pass for a full Super Nintendo
Mario game. Hell, it has more levels than a lot of new millennium Mario games.
The worlds are now the standard for Mario games. There's a desert world, water world,
ice world, cloud world, and a fiery, lava filled Bowser world. A fan favorite is the
Giant World, which pits you against enormous Koopas and Goombas. It's kind of a novelty
since it doesn't change the gameplay too much, but I still love that place.
Another big selling point for Mario 3 is the power-ups. No Mario game to date has brought
in so many items and costumes. You can deck yourself out in the grandest of combat finery:
raccoon costumes, Hammer Bro costumes, P-Wings. But all these pale before the supreme overlord
of costume-dom, the Frog suit. Never have you seen such a dignified figure as Mario
disguised as an amphibian, leaping gracefully through the air and plunging into the murky
depths of the Mushroom Kingdom's ocean. He's even cooler than Winky the Frog from Donkey
Kong Country!
The only sad part is if you hit an enemy, you lose the suit and you're back to boring
old Mario.
No, you stupid fatso Cheep Cheep. Don't you dare eat me! No! I'll haunt your digestive
tract for this, you -- you fish!
Okay, so it's not the most powerful suit. But I love it. Another underrated suit is
the Hammer Bro suit, where you dress up in a shell and chuck hammers at everybody. It's
tougher to use than the fire flower, but it's stronger. You can kill Boos with it, I'm dead
serious! No spirit is safe from Mario's mighty throwing arm.
Probably the strongest suit in the game is the Tanooki Suit, based on a mythical raccoon
creature from Japanese legend. To the untrained eye, it looks like a normal Raccoon costume,
but it has a special trick up its sleeve. If you press down and 'Y,' BAM, you become
a statue. In stature form, you're invincible and you can flatten fireballs and even destroy
those weird rotating disco balls I hate so much. But it takes skill to use, since you
only have about 3 seconds before you turn back into Mario and enemies can hurt you again.
I wish I had more time to discuss all the power-ups since they really are fascinating,
but I've got to reach some closure with this review and address one big question: Is Super
Mario Bros 3 worthy of all the hype and legacy from the gaming world? I would say yes, definitely,
but it's not my favorite Mario game of all time. That award goes to Super Mario World,
but that's personal preference. I love Yoshi and the cape and all those secret levels in
Mario World.
I love Super Mario Bros 3 too, but it has a couple things that detract from it being
the top Mario game for me. First, I don't like the airship levels. Sure, they're unique
in art style, but they have a forced side scroll and a lot of fireball dodging. Then
at the end of the airship, when you're worn out and ragged, you always have to fight a
stupid Koopa Kid. It's like coming home from work after a long day and finding out your
cat threw up on the floor. My reaction is "I'm tired. I don't want to deal with this
right now."
And the simile is also accurate because the Koopa Kids are the gaming equivalent of lumpy,
regurgitated Costco brand Kirkland cat food. They're bland and boring, but they also make
you groan with disgust. Bowser's little kiddies make for lame opponents -- you just have to
jump on their heads and hope you don't accidentally get crammed in a corner where they can kill
you.
One more thing I don't like about Super Mario Bros 3 is the puzzle fortresses. I know I
whined about this last time with the Lost Levels, but I don't like overly confusing
Mario levels. Some of the fortresses here make you go through memorized pathways just
to beat them, and I can never remember the correct route. Now I get it, you guys didn't
click on this video to hear me bash on Mario 3, but I thought I'd be honest and address
that even legendary games can have flaws, or at least aspects that won't appeal to every
gamer.
But don't let me scare you away from this game. If you enjoy platformers at all, you'll
like this game. Even if you don't have nostalgia for it like I do, I bet you'll get a kick
out of the power-ups and the tight gameplay. The All-Stars version is my favorite since
it's got clean graphics and a save option, but you can also get it on the Virtual Console
and the Gameboy Advance, where they called it Super Mario Advance 4. What do you guys
think of Mario 3? Are you nostalgic for it like me? If you're a noob to the Mario series,
I would especially love to hear your opinion.
Well, I think it's a really fun, cheerful game to play. But, you know the quest might
not have been as fun for Mario! Think what it would be like to save your girlfriend over
and over from the same ugly, spiked lizard-***. That's why I wrote a song from Mario's perspective.
It's called "Just 5 Lives" and I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for watching my All-Stars
review and I'll leave you with this little ditty. Hasta luego, mis amigos.
Just 5 lives, that's all I need Call me a plumber but I'll bring you agony
Hit reset, no more therapy I'm chewing' mushrooms 'cause they bring me
clarity
If you see me leaping through the sky If you're a goomba, then prepare to die
If you're a turtle hiding in your shell I'll kick you straight to hell
If you think your armies get to me If you think you'll stain my legacy
I've had enough of you, you're going in the pit
I'm done with this
Inside my eye's it's oblivion Inside my hand, there's a flame
You stole my princess but I'll take her back You're descendants will curse my name
Just 5 lives, that's all I need Call me a plumber but I'll bring you agony
Hit reset, no more therapy I'm chewing mushrooms 'cause they bring me
clarity
You'll suffer unto me. You'll suffer unto me.