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[radio being tuned into a station]
[Singing] "MARS Tee Vee!"
On Mars. In Knobby's bedroom.
[cute electronic snoring]
[clock plays happy jingle]
Wake up Knobby! Orders to take! Meaningless chores to do!
Get up, GET UP! It’s another WONDERFUL day on MARS!
IRIS! COME HERE! THIS CLOCK’S TRYING TO WAKE ME UP!
[Ker-BOOOOM!]
[clock breaks] "Wonderful day on M-a-r-s..."
THANKS!
(MARTY! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!)
(YOU STUPID FAT GREEN FROG-EYED IDIOT!)
[door crashes open]
Ah, Marty! You'll be wanting my breakfast order.
Knobby! Get up and fix the U.F.O!
How many more times do I have to ask you?!
Space Pops and Moon Juice.
Right! That's it! I've had enough of this STUPID planet,
That’s me, GONE!
Bye then.
I don’t have to stay here to be insulted!
I’m a great GENIUS!
I’ve got to venture OUT! "Bye, again..."
The Universe NEEDS me!
The GREATEST INVENTOR, EVER!
[snore]
So, GET UP AND FIX THE U.F.O!
So invent a way to make me.
Look Knobby...
Will you please, please, PRETTY please,
with SUGAR on top,
FIX THE U.F.O!
I dislike this new adventurous,
but polite, you. [rude snoring]
[zoo-woo-wooop! zoo-woo-wooop!]
Knobby?!
Have you fixed the U.F.O. yet?
All fixed! Good as new! Job done! [Ting!]
Oh, WOW!
That's FANTASTIC!
I’m in SHOCK!
ERROR! ERROR! I mean...
Job not started.
Absolutely NOT!
No way, San Jose...
NEVER!
[zoo-woo-woop! zoo-woo-woop!]
What's THAT?! Your new mobile phone?
Not very cool, are you?!
It’s a prototype Transmatter-fone Marty.
I’m still working on it.
GIVE me THAT!
How do you make a call on this brick?!
[zoo-woo-woop! zoo-woo-woop!]
[beep]
[beep]
[beep]
[beep]
"Hello?!"
[beep]
[beep]
"HELLO?!"
[beep]
[beep]
[beep]
“RAWWWL!”
Bongos!
This phone’s a lemon, Knobby!
I can’t do anything with it!
[Bonk!]
LOOK!
I’m the inventor around here,
Not YOU!
STOP TRYING TO COMPETE WITH ME!
Marty!
Put me down...
Right now!
Sorry...
Yes of course,
I always forget page 1 of the manual.
Exactly!
Don’t TILT the robot!
[***!]
Bad luck!
I also forget page 2!
Oh, good!
I see you found my little note!
Don’t get too excited, Iris.
I’m not using these in the conventional way.
I’m using this stuff to build my,
GREATEST INVENTION
EVER!
Can’t you just mop up a bit?
Bongos!
My greatest invention ever was a disaster.
But my expanding pink gloop is the one!
[drops echo in jar] "Plop! Plop! Plop!"
Now to light the burner
[Fzzzzzzzzt]
[sound of pink gloop bubbling and expanding]
[More bubbling and expanding]
Fudgenuts!
I should’ve used the BIG jar!
[bird song, perfect day]
[distant rumbling and thundering]
[pink gloop expands out of the front door]
AAAAAAARGH!
MARTY!
What the hell have you done, NOW?!
Ah that’s right!
Blame ME again!
Everything’s always MY fault!
it’s never YOU, is it, Iris?!
Well don’t worry,
once the STUPID robot,
fixes the STUPID U.F.O...
I’m going to a place where my genius will be appreciated!
Fifty million miles away from HERE!
KNOBBY!
FIX THE U.F.O!
Knobby?!
Why aren’t you working?!
Because I’m reading your travel brochure.
Knobby!
How more times do I have to ask you?!
Ask me what?
Ah, fudgenuts!
Everything’s really getting me down.
Don’t worry!
Everyone feels like that.
But I’ve got so much to THINK about,
I just can’t cope!
Don’t worry!
Everyone feels like that.
Hey!
You’re actually quite comforting to talk to, Knobby!
I feel a bit BETTER now!
Don’t worry!
Everyone feels like that.
[Ting!]
[Thump!]
You’re a loser Marty!
U.F.O. KNOBBY! UFO!!!
No...
U.F.O!
[footsteps]
[Buzzzzzzz!]
[woosh]
[echoey footsteps]
[footsteps]
[wooop]
[Djjjjjjj]
[echoey footsteps]
[sound of door opening]
[footsteps]
[sound of footsteps going up]
[door creaks]
[low throbbing hum of deep space]
[Boing, Boing, Boing, Boing, Boing, Boing, Boing, Boing]
[footsteps]
[Ding ***!]
"Djjjjj"
[footsteps]
.
[sliding whistle down]
[Bump!]
[footsteps]
[Floor moves] "Rrrrrr'
[Floor stops]
[Floor moves] "Rrrrrrr!!"
[Floor stops]
[Floor moves] RRRRRRRR!
[Floor stops] Rrrr
"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!"
[wobbly sound]
[calming music]
[approaching footsteps]
[Pzzzt!] "I’m dusting!"
KNOBBY!!
FIX THE U.F.O!!
Alright, alright!
I heard you the first TEN THOUSAND times!
Pzzzzt!
.
I’ve HAD it with this robot, Iris...
I’m taking it BACK to the Knobby Exchange.
Well make sure the next Knobby recognises a dustpan and brush!
Dustpan and brush?
DUSTPAN AND BRUSH?!
Invite them for dinner
and I'll cook!
I’m out of here...
NO!
IT’S NOT FIXED YET!
Don't go there!
WHAT?!
Are you completely stupid?!
No Pea! You mustn’t do it.
They’re trouble on legs!
You’ll spend the rest of your PATHETIC empty life regretting it,
Don’t buy a Knobby!
Are you LISTENING?!
Never EVER, buy a Knobby!
Fine then!
Buy a Knobby!
Stop wasting my time, Pea!
[doorbell] "Ding! ***!"
Pea?
Hey, thanks for the great advice Marty!
I put you on loud speaker
and got a MONSTER discount!
The clue’s in the discount, idiot!
[doorbell] "Ding! ***!"
[Knobbys all together] "Hi Knobby!"
Hi Knobbys!
Trumpet Head!
I wan’t my money back!
This robot is rude, and annoying!
And lazy!
Oh yeah! Thanks Knobby...
And lazy!
Yeah, but he’s good at reminding you of stuff though, isn’t he?
[Parp]
"SLAM!"
I want my MONEY BACK!
How many more times Marty?
We don’t do refunds.
[Parp]
In that case,
I DEMAND a new Knobby!
Look Marty, Knobby is a clone, [Parp]
They’re all exactly the same
It won’t make ANY difference. [Parp]
but I've kept the receipt.
I just told you
There’s no point.
They’re all the same. [Parp]
I want to change him!
I demand a new Knobby! [SLAM!]
Change him, change HIM!
CHANGE HIM!
I’d like to change you.
[Parp]
Alright, alright, you’ve nagged me into submission.
[Parp]
Yeah, he does that a lot.
Go home
and we’ll send a new Knobby round later...
NEXT!
[Parp]
I feel really GOOD about getting a new Knobby!
I‘m looking forward to it now!
I think I’ll celebrate!
I know!
I’ll throw a party
put up some balloons!
DO YOU MIND?!
I haven’t GONE yet!
AAAAAAARGH! Bongos!
What the hell are you doing here?!
I took you to the Knobby Exchange over an hour ago!
They said they would deliver a new Knobby!
Why are you back?!
That’s just my sense of humour
I’m a CLONE (!)
I AM the NEW Knobby!
Howdy!
PACK YOUR BAGS!
[doorbell] "Ding! ***!”
Trumpet Head! I want my OLD Knobby back! This one’s ridiculous!
That was your old Knobby.
We were hoping you wouldn’t notice the difference.
[Parp]
Have you tried our new Premier Service? [Parp]
Ooooooh!
No!
[presses buzzer]
"Dzzzzzz-zzt-zzzt"
Who am I?
And what do I want again?
NEXT!
[Parp]
[Noisy electric drill]
[repeat hammering] "***! ***! ***!"
[whirring machinery, drilling]
Listen to that racket!
It’s taken him a MILLION years to start!
[sawing]
Clank! Clank! ***! Bash!
[high pitch drilling]
[sudden burst of Mexican mariachi band]
[more drilling]
Stupid little ROBOT!
***! ***! ***!
bash, cuckoo, cuckoo cuckoo...
***! ***! ***!
[sudden silence]
[Futuristic sound] "warble"
Huh?
Wow! Knobby!
You’ve actually done it!
You’re in the air!
Can I have a go?
[sound of U.F.O. speeding off]
Knobby?
Fudgenuts!
Marty?!
I thought you were going somewhere!
Why are you still here?!
He’s taken my U.F.O!
He’ll be light years away by now!
He’s sitting in MY seat,
Eating MY Fizzy Twingles!
Wearing MY lucky driving gloves!
[pressure cooker whistling] "Eeieeeieeeiee!"
I’M GOING TO PULL HIS STUPID CLACKERS OFF!!
MELT HIM DOWN!
AND THROW HIM IN THE BIN!!
"Honk, honk, honk! Honk, honk!"
Nonsense Marty!
He’s hooting outside!
All ready for you, Sir!
Your keys?
Shall I pack sandwiches?
"?!#!!"
Apologise Marty!
...Marty?
"SLAM!"
What's HIS problem?!
Sorry Knobby!
I dont know WHAT'S got into Marty today!
What can i get you?
There must be something!
Space Pops
and Moon Juice?
And a froca-mocha-choco-chapacino?
Oh, flippers!
You still haven’t had your breakfast!
I’m so sorry,
I’ll get it for you straight away!
Don't MOVE!
(MARTY!)
(WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU?!)
(CLEAN UP THIS MESS IMMEDIATELY!)
(HOW DARE YOU UPSET KNOBBY!)
(COME AND SAY YOU'RE SORRY)
(RIGHT NOW!)
I do LOVE
a happy ending!
[Low humming sound of U.F.O.]
They’re going to LOVE me on Earth!
They'll recognise GENIUS when it lands!
Bongos! Everything looks the same!
Which way do we go NOW?!
Wake up Knobby! [smack!]
Do we turn left,
or right to get to Earth?!
We go straight on.
How would you know?!
Your eyes aren't even open!
Small technical glitch...
I couldn't be bothered to fix the steering.
Oh, great!
So I can only fly in a straight line,
How boring!
Don’t worry!
Things should get more exciting when we hit Earth!
I couldn’t be bothered to fix the brakes either.
Aaaaaaaargh!
We’re going to have a terrible cartoon accident!
Ah, you’ll be fine Marty.
Just try and aim for a blue bit.
Anyway,
I’ve just got to make a quick phonecall.
[zoo-woo-woop! zoo-woo-woop!]
[beep]
Knobby?
Knobby...?
KNOBBY!!!!!!!!!
[Happy Latin American music]
[END]