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I'm going to dance, too.
Have a good conference. Thanks!
Hi! How are you all doing?
Thank you for being so many
I see some familiar faces I know,
Hi Jean Claude !
One day I had
I had a dream
when
I was 13
One of my uncles asked me
what d'you want to do later in life?
I was about 12 or 13 years old
and I told him...
I want to be happy
Well yes, he said, but thats not a career
I told him, what's the point in having a career if I'm not happy ?
My dream was precisely that, to be happy
and do exactly what I am doing today.
The reason I tell you this is because
everyone can realize their dreams.
I've been teaching personal development for 25 yrs now
I've seen people's live change
and transformed because
people understood,
understood that we all have a user-guide
personal development. Lots of people ask me,
what's personal development ? Well, personal development is just that
a user-guide
of who you are, of how you operate
how your brain, how your spirit works and
how you can use it
to create,
to create happiness,
the life you want to have.
And everyone can get there !
Jack Canfield, an American
you may have heard of him, he teaches
"The Secret"
He says that
success is like
the combination code of an armored safe
Once you have the numbers, that's it
you can always open the safe. Even if you are tired, or in shape.
regardless of where you are, you can open it.
At whatever level of intelligence, if you have a high IQ
or a very low one
Well, once you got it,
got the code, you can open the safe
and this is what's fascinated me in personal development
that's why I got interested in it at a very young age.
We also move forward in life
thanks to our shortcomings and difficulties.
If I had to describe my life, my childhood was
lite a Zola's tale
I had alcoholic parents, I was beaten by my teachers
I experienced things
I would not wish on my worst enemy
but it's not
determining. That doesn't exist. It's not because you have a bad
a rough start to life
that your life can not change.
You know, there's been extraordinary research on the brain
recognizing its functions
and yet, we are still very far from how it actually works.
But something that emerges from
those very interesting studies
and you probably already know if you're interested in personal development
that your thoughts
emit vibrations.
What you perhaps do not know
is that your positive thoughts
are a hundred times more powerful than your negative thoughts
and if you learn to
control your thoughts to use your thoughts.
Thats why there's a way of doing it
It can't be forced, can't just obtain it
by simple will
but by ability.
You can change the state of your thoughts. You are not required to undergo them.
and you do not have to subject to your life as it is today
you can change it.
Some people come and say
"yes but I've tried, I've studied great
personal development methods, I've subscribed to
all sorts of therapies
I've done all sorts of things in my existence."
sometimes I even get:
"I've been doing it for the past ten years,
and my life hasn't changed a bit,
sometimes life's even worse!"
However, remember
the armored safe's story
the Vault
Perhaps you are just missing
ONE number to open it.
Sometimes it's amazing to see people
they've understood it all
when I hear them, they've read
everything you'd need to know
on the mind, on the workings of the spirit, they
practices tons of meditations
yet, they are so close,
so close, to have the key.
Sometimes,
just a little tinny detail
makes the difference,
and causes it not to work.
The other thing that is very important,
Did you know I was fortunate to
meet a
Tibetan lama, by the name of Shimed Rigzin Rinpoché
he was one of my main mentors
an absolutely delightful being, really extraordinary.
A very impressive man. Sometime people feared him a little
because he had this stature
a quiet strength, very,very poised and calm.
He spoke very little
but when he said something it was extraordinarily
percussive.
This man has influenced my life greatly
because he was one of the first to give me
those numbers
to open the safe, the vault.
to transform our existence.
The first thing
on which he insisted a lot on
When for eg. I had a difficulty or problem
I'd go see him and instead of giving me a philosophical
or psychological lesson on my difficulties.
you know what he would reply ? - Practice -
The problem is, people know a lot of things,
but they don't apply them.
If you don't apply
Well, it won't change a thing
because you need to understand a very important thing,
the basis of personal development,
the law of cause and effect, it's clear.
The same causes,
produce the same effects. That is, if you continue to think
continue to act
and to express yourself in the same way
Well, there's no secret, it works very well
you will get
exactly
the same results.
However, if you start to change things,
if you begin to change your way of thinking
if you start to look at things from another angle.
that also what personal development is
it's that, how can I say..
It's amazing,
in the same situation
no one sees things the same way
Moreover, it is often said that the differences between a pessimist
and an optimist
is that
a pessimism walking down the street wont see the 50 euro banknote
lying on the ground, he's even going to walk over it
he will just miss it.
The optimist, is more relaxed, more open minded,
receptive,
he's got a larger field of consciousness
not lost in his thoughts like the pessimist
he really has a total open field of consciousness
and he sees everything
and he,
sees the 50 euro banknote.
Not only does he see the 50 euro banknote, he sees
all the opportunities that are offered.
Someone accomplished, is someone that
sees life as vast field
of possibilities.
and YOU,
you are a huge field of possibilities.
but what is it
that makes you feel limited ?
Your thoughts, your way of
seeing things,
your way of thinking.
It's really fundamental,
and all this is extraordinary, as it can all be learned
and everyone,
can learn it.
There again, whatever your intellectuality level is
whatever level of knowledge you have, whatever your status,
regardless of your physical sate,
you can learn.
It's something
that is taught, can be learned, and practiced.
Now, there's something very interesting,
Referring back to discoveries made on the brain,
NASA has revealed an extremely interesting phenomenon
precisely thanks to
those studies.
you know...
these astronauts undergo extreme severe training,
extremely hard training.
They placed a sort of shell over their eyes
that make them see everything upside down.
That's to train them
to manage stress when they'd end up in the space.
Under any type of conditions,
enabling them to easily adapt.
They wanted to see the what type of reactions it would trigger.
And, they actually found something very interesting:
After 30 days,
the brain had fully adapted.
they had see things upside down with that shell,
and after 30 days
the brain
had put thing back the right way around!
Just after 30 days. Even more interesting,
they wanted to see
what would happen
if they interrupted the experiment after 15 days.
they found, they needed another
30 days
for the brain to readjust.
so it could put things back the right way round.
It was an absolutely extraordinary discovery
in neurobiology, because we realized that to change
our habits
would take 30 days.
meaning that you need to repeat the same thing for 30 days,
until it's completely assimilated by your brain
and to register it indelibly.
Which brings us back to
- practicing -
people often only practice a little
expecting change.
It will have some affect sure,
but to the extent of which you've practice.
I you practice a little
then, you'l get little results.
But if you practice a lot,
if you practice regularly,
in a smart way, because there's
an intelligent effort,
you could make an effort that produce nothing:
you can swim against the current without moving forward,
not even an inch.
There's what we call the "right" effort.
The effort
that is perfectly appropriate
that is adapted
in relation to what you want.
If you persevere again and again,
well, something will happen.
The change will take place ! For people who've learned
to speak a language
You didn't learn French on your 1st lesson,
wasn't on the 2nd either,
not by the 3rd nor the 4th
it took weeks even months,
maybe even years to refine
your discourse.
This is exactly the same,
in the personal fulfillment field, in happiness,
and self-realization.
It's curious some have the impression that
we only need one session,
and snap!
It'l completely changes our lives.
Problem is, it doesn't work that way.
We are governed by the same laws.
What applies to
personal fulfillment, to personal development, applies to everything you want in you,
is the same thing
for any other discipline.
And it works !
You know what is extraordinary ? In the 25 years of teaching,
personal development
what has always moved me,
what has always amazed me,
is to see the human spirit's malleability.
To see that when people really apply themselves
and start to
become passionate for their own personal achievements,
when people really start to
ignite, to dig in. We have all sorts of students,
its quite amusing, people who are just waiting
"yheaa, it doesn't work, it's worth nothing"
and then there's others...
that dig in
that seek
they don't limit themselves to what they hear
they dig in a little more
they listen to their lessons, not only once, but twice, three times, ten times, a hundred times
because they want to understand
they have that motivation,
that deep motivation, they really want to achieve their goals
and give themselves the means to.
A Tibetan lama said "if you are lukewarm in practice, you get lukewarm results"
It's not that complicated.
Then, we see the real transformation in life.
I've witnessed it, and that's why
I teach personal development.
Because I found it so extraordinary,
to see how we could change.
Life becomes literally magical,
if you can direct your thoughts the right way.
It really is,
a question of know-how.
I's a matter of training,
of practice,
and if you have
what Buddhists call the "practicing correctly",
then, you'l get the result that comes with it.
but it doesn't happen
with a simple snap of the fingers.
My second book is actually called
I know
you can succeed.
I know because
I succeeded, because I saw lots of people succeed, because I saw lots of
people transform their lives,
because I know, it's possible.
And there are,
all over the world thousands,
there are even
millions
of testimonies,
of people who have profoundly changed their existence.
Because they have
the right code to the safe.
they understood "the thing", understoong there's a users manual.
However, are you willing to do what it takes
to get there ?
One day I came across a zen quote
when I was bout fifteen I came across the quote,
I found it was revolutionary
it is said
"The one who knows he can succeed,
is not immune to failure,
imagine he doesn't know he can succeed,
well, he fails."
What do you get from this sentence?
what does it contain?
personally,
it completely shook my life.
I realized
that regardless
of my starting point, whatever situation I found myself in,
well, I could change it . Obviously, didn't happen on its own.
I encountered practiclly all the difficulties
my students encounter when they come to a class.
Boubt
"it doesn't work"
makes us want to give up, the laziness takes over,
that's also an
extraordinary obstacle, and there are many other obstacles.
I actually discuss them in my book "I know you can succeed"
among others, perfectionism is a terrible obstacle.
there many of them, like guilt.
It's fantastic to see
how many people don't give
themselves the right to happiness.
Just do a little exercise, we can't really do it here,
the space doesn't really permit it, but have fun doing it at home !
Relax a little, juts summarily
let the calmness come,
maybe listen to some music if you're not used to it,
some calm music, to relax.
find your innerself, repeat to yourself,
I have the right to be happy.
At the surface you could have the impression you give yourself that right,
but you will see that deep in you,
like when I spoke of our thoughts earlier,
the worst aren't the thoughts you have at the surface, the conscious thoughts.
Psychology has demonstrated that,
for centuries now,
the worst are the thoughts you are not even aware of.
They act without you being aware.
It's also been said that,
a thought that is ignored by our consciousness develops into
destiny.
It's your conditioning.
As soon as you
become aware of those thoughts, you finally have
the freedom to follow them, or not.
But it is up to you to decide.
Do that little exercise, it seams like nothing at all
but how many
of my clients came to me saying
"It's extraordinary, because when I repeated it deep within me
I realized that
without noticing,
I was forbidding myself happiness.
There was a small inner voice emerging to the surface that said:
why do you have the right to happiness, what did you do of good in your life
to have that right ? "
Happiness is independent from external circumstances,
independent from your behavior and your attitude.
It's not a question of merit.
You are entitled to happiness,
it's a matter of mindset
If you cultivate good thoughts,
if you have the right attitude,
well, you get the happiness that comes with it.
And, those are things you can do yourself.
We can
use a much more elaborate method.
But have fun.
For example,
try to think of something, a stinging failure you had in life
Try to feel what you felt at the time,
how are you ?
Generally, not very well
unless you have enough detachment from it since
you've had these failures
and you're able to laugh at them now.
However most of us,
when we think of that failure, or unfortunate moment,
or a breakup.
we won't feel very well.
But, have fun, and you'll see how you can change
your thoughts.
For a moment
think of something you like,
like your grandchildren,
a little joyful child,
that's laughing, playful
having fun.
Try to soak in,
what that child might be feeling at that moment
will within you, bring that same joy,
You will be joyful.
It's extraordinary, happiness is something totally contagious
when you're with happy people,
even if you are sad,
after a while it changes you.
Well, some people don't really change much.
like Shimed Rigzin Rinpoché said
"Some people are very, very stable
in negativity."
The whole point is to gain stability, but in happiness
but yes, there are people who are obviously very, very
stable in negativity
and cling to it.
You'll never manage to make them smile
It's like they're saying "you won't catch me"
"I will not smile"
It's really extraordinary, refraining from wanting to be happy
maybe so that the others
also don't benefit from that happiness. But the fabulous thing
in happiness,
when you have it,
you want to give even more of it.
There's actually a TV show on right now,
They show how one can stimulate happiness.
It's something that you can have
and there is a time when you've practice enough.
because we are a set of habits.
An interesting thing when we study Buddhism, like I've studied for quite some time,
Buddhists say
we have developed a large number habits,
those dig trenches in our conscienceness.
well, they're actually neural connections.
So, for example
if your story
made you develop a choleric attitude.
Whenever you get angry,
you dig that trench just a little deeper
and you sustain
your state of anger.
This is why you become choleric, super easily.
The choleric is someone who has developed the habit of being angry.
It's as simple as that
and it is valid
of any habits you have.
I hear people say,
"but I'm,
I'm anxious, its my nature."
What does that mean ?
It's not your nature, it's also a habit.
"I am anguished" is also just a habit
you've developed a large number of habits
and sometimes you're
so, so, stuck in it,
that you think it's reality.
You think it is something which you can't escape from,
can't change.
Studies show exactly the the opposite.
- It's changeable -
You can modify it
I find it gives us extraordinary hope.
It gives us all
hope to change our life,
to change our behaviors,
whatever they are.
But then again, obviously it doesn't happen
just by wanting it.
Everyone wants to be happy, the whole world wants to be successful,
everyone wants to have a
fulfilled and rich life at all levels, have meaningful human relationships.
If it was enough to just want something for it to happen
everyone would be happy, I suppose.
It's the method,
It's the practice,
It's what you do
to achieve it.
Once you've understood it. That's what personal development is.
There are also other ways, not only personal development.
but it all teaches you,
what it shows you, is
you have that capacity, that there is a way
to train your spirit.
To move towards more joy, more happiness.
More luck too, because luck is as you'l see
a matter of vibration.
Some psychologist know
those things pretty well.
We often say that,
a person who lacks self-esteem
is unlikely to meet people
who have a healthy self-esteem.
Because you vibrate. Like I spoke of earlier,
when you vibrate at a certain level you necessarily resonate
with what is at that same vibration level.
That's to say, with your own vision of reality. If you think you
don't deserve a happy relationship
deep inside, even if you wish it,
even if you want very, very much. But if in your mind,
if in your subconscious
you do think you don't deserve it. What will happen ?
Well, what you'l get is exactly what
you'l be thinking of.
It's exactly what happens.
I often joke around with my students by telling them
there were two types of meditation
meditation on happiness and meditation on unhappiness.
To meditating on unhappiness, you could take
a piece of paper and write down
everything you don't have.
The friends you don't have, the luck you don't have, the money you don't have
Everything you'r missing, and you look at the list.
Read it and soak it in.
I can assure you that by the end you'l be fully depressed.
I works very, very well, it's very effective.
and it's what you do most the time...
if you listen to yourself think if you listen to yourself talk
It's extraordinary. Record yourself, you'll see.
Its a very, very good exercise to do.
It's not pleasant when you listen to it after.
You'll tell yourself "this not possible"
"this isn't me talking"
Oh yes, its you.
and when you listen
if you distance yourself to reflect, you'l say
"no wonder all these things are happening to me"
sometimes you don't realize you're aggressive when you
express yourself
when you ask things, but you feel guilty to ask,
you automatically become aggressive.
What kind of response will you get?
Obviously a negative one.
And then, there is the other type of meditation
you start to list everything you have,
even the smallest thing.
That's what I did when I was homeless.
I thought I was quite lucky
extraordinarily,
as a fellow homeless unfortunate man
told me: "you'l never stay on the streets, you're too optimistic"
I didn't believe for a minute in my misfortune
because it wasn't a misfortune for me.
It was an opportunity.
It's about a point of view.
The situations
you face
are the same for everyone,
but no one views them the same way.
no one looks at is the same way.
When faced with failure,
some people
will completely collapse, completely lose self-confidence
however the other hand, to others
its a learning experience, they grow from this bitter experience
they learn.
If you look into how they can do it in another way
and they'l actually be thankful
this painful event that is
they''l make it an opportunity.
One day we interviewed someone
who was missing an arm and leg
and he would say
it is not a misfortune
it's just a challenge
and he's a baseball player in the states
I could give you many cases like this
you must have seen many on TV, they're not rare
there are millions
people who go out of
of truly rough situations
very difficult
but because they were able to look at things
in the right angle
so if you are in front
of a mountain
you can look at it at the steepest angle
"I'll never make it"
"this is not possible its way too steep"
but you can also look at the same mountain
from a another angle
and you'll see that actually
the slope is a lot more gentle and that you can reach the top.
differently,
but you can get to the top
because it is possible
it depends on how you look at things.
a pessimistic will say "its hard" an optimistic will say
"it'l require more effort but it is possible"
How do you look at things ?
I know
you can suceed
whatever you want to achieve in life
I'm not trying to make you believe in miracles
but you are able
to do miraculous things, I've seen people... it's extraordinary
what they're able to do
as there came a time they were shown
they could do it
they found there's way
Well, there is a way to turn our spirit
there's s a way.
Today, at this very moment, as I speak to you
you can change your state of mind,
you can, right now
It's within everyones reach,
what counts
is that you do it regularly
for it to become
a reality
If you take a look,
The Dalai Lama said something about positive and negative thoughts
he said, to harbor
negative thoughts and feelings
Actually
It was more along these lines,
Harboring and getting positive thoughts, is as difficult
as taking a heavy stone to the top of a mountain.
Kinda discourages some people already,
But, indulging in negativity
is as easy as pushing this stone down the mountain.
what you must keep mind
is that everything you do
your way of thinking
has consequences
if you maintain your negative thoughts
what will result
negative things.
if you maintain your positive thoughts even if it seems to be harder
what will you get from it ?
well, positive things.
you know, personal development is quite mathematical in the end,
personal development teaches something fundamental, might even
make you laugh when I tell you
if you plant carrot seeds what will you get later? Carrots.
Obviously... its incredible to see
the seeds people plant constantly and daily, those who want a
thing
and plant the opposite.
they talk in negativity they always have a good reason
to be angry
they always have a good reason to be annoyed
they always
a good reason not to make an effort
to change their lives
they always
have excuses.
with 25 year in this field, it's crazy
the number of times I heard
people tell me
"yes, BUT "
I tell them
"yes, but...
you're still stuck,
still haven't changed
you always had a good excuse you always have a good reason
not to do, what you have to do to change your life."
first thing first
you need to do in your life
is to ask yourself the right questions
what do you want?
what do you want?
second question:
What are you willing to do to get there?
And what will you do to get it?
and this when we need a method
it's very difficult,
I confess that personally, if I hadn't met
all the people I met on my journey,
and I think the reason we meet them
is not by chance or luck, it's often said
the teacher arrives when the student is ready
and I think it's true
because at one time
what happens in your life, is that you've had quite enough
you've decided, "I must do something"
it's enough, I've gone too far in my destruction process
I must do something, once and for all.
sometimes people even get a cancer, or something of the sort
then they said,
there maybe a need to be change things in my life
there's probably something I need to change
misfortunes were signs
there are not misfortunes per se
you are just being told, "you've taken the wrong path"
and that you might need to change something
maybe reorient yourself.
And as i've told you so
It's hard to it alone,
if I hadn't met the people such as Gérard Duruz, Shimed Rigzin Rinpoché
his holiness the Dalai Lama with whom I had 2 sessions
all mentors I've been able to meet
who had those
numbers to,
to open the safe.
they gave me those numbers, each time I got a new number.
at at some point,
one understands how
the safe door opens.
so, to all those people who say "yes, but"
"I have a very good reason to be unhappy"
then you probably so have a very very good reason to be unhappy
but those reasons that you give yourself for being unhappy
they do nothing else but just keep you in your unhappiness
and if you try this option, and tell yourself
after all,
that's what I told myself one day,
I'm in such a total mess
what's the risk in trying ?
so, I planted a seed, daily.
then another, then the other
in the end you get a forest
instead of getting in despair
To cote Jack Canfield,
one thing
you must act
as if you were
at 100%
responsible
for your life.
you know, it's
quite a general rule,
those who maintain themselves in difficulty or unhappyness
are always, always
making others responsible for their unhappiness.
It's heaven's fault, god's fault,
It's the politics fault, the environment's fault,
It's the crisis' fault,
It's my hormones' fault
There's always something exterior
at the origin of their misfortune.
and they don't ever ask themselves,
"Might I be somewhat responsible for this unhappiness?"
for my difficulties,
"Could it maybe be all those thoughts
that I've fed all this time,
which make me attract it ?" its true, you are a magnet !
you've probably heard of the law of attraction. It's exactly this.
you are a magnet, you attract things towards you
all these things
What do you think you'l be attracting if you vibrate in negativity ?
well, negative things.
you'l meet negative people
you'l get yourself in trouble,
you call them without knowing
but if you start
change things a little
to change our way of thinking
to look at things in a different angle. Tell yourself the situation
is ultimately neutral
isn't positive
nor negative.
you might ask "what if I'm attacked?
it's not positive!"
But here too, if you place 10 people in front of that attacking person
we we won't get the same results
we can imagine a person who's got enough self-confidence
she won't let him impress her, she could do the oposite
and help her attacker, to say "But what gotten into you? What's going on?"
"Doesn't look like a good day for you, why are you so aggressive?"
How will that person react?
However, if you position yourself as a victim,
you lack self-confidence
the person attacks you
you fear, you internalize,
what's the result?
you know the answer, I don't need to give it to you
You know, the rapport we have with others
is directly affected by the rapport we have with ourself.
all psychologists say
if you lack self-esteem
if you lack self-confidence
what will be the relationship you have with others?
If you lack self-confidence, a person insults you
they will hurt you,
if you have self-confidence
it won't affect you.
you tell yourself, that person is tired, maybe been through a rough time.
or maybe she's just got a nasty character
and is precisely indulging in negativity
however, you'l stay calm,
you'l keep your peace of mind
but if you lack self-confidence,
Well you'l be the prey of all these people that cross your path.
that manage to press that button
triggering that painful reaction.
A master once told one of his disciples, who came to him
quite worked up,
because his roommates
where bothering him
and told him, "they got me angry"
and his master replies
He didn't get you angry,
he woke up the anger that was already in you.
you are owner of that anger
others only wake it up.
when you say, "he made me angry" No, no.
Maybe he pressed the button
and that angered you,
it woke up that anger within you.
But you have other options than anger
in any situation
even against an aggressor
something quite amusing happened to me, not so long ago
I went shopping
And I,
took my car
at the mall, and I needed to go get gas.
so I took my car, I literally cut through the parking
it was practically empty
all of a sudden, I found myself face to face with another car
He was obviously very angry.
He was frowning, I could see he was full of anger, because
I ended up in front of him
because I crossed the parking lot.
and I saw it in his eyes,
well, it wasn't a big deal, but for him,
it seemed so catastrophic
to find himself across from me
I shouldn't of been there.
I cut him off, and got him in a total state.
oh well, I went around his and headed over to get gas.
And other driver left to park his car.
He got out of the car,
and I saw him charge towards me.
I told myself, ooooffff
So he gets near me
ready to fight
And I told him,
very casually, "you are extraordinary"
"do you realize why you're making yourself so mad?"
I didn't really say it like that, more like
"don't tell me that it's because we found each other face to face earlier
that you're angry to this point. I can't believe it..."
He wasn't expecting to react that way
I could've been afraid, or I could've
rolled up my sleeves to fight, I had no desire to fight
He got completely destabilized
"You are really incredible"
well, obviously, he want to keep his position, and said,: you ***, *"&%§
I replied, "ok, if it makes you happy,
I am a *** *"&%§,
but come one, be honest,
It was definitely not worth coming over for so little.
and he walked away sheepishly
got back into his car and drove by me
with laser eyes
"I'll get you!"
I was convinced he be waiting for me later to chase me,
but no, I escaped that part.
It's amazing to see how people get in a total state
for so little.
If you're honest with yourself
without judging yourself
look in the mirror
how many times
did you let your emotions betray you
you've let your own feelings your own emotions
lead you directly to hell.
all the while you could've
keep your happiness.
It is not the external circumstances that destroy our happiness
it's your lack of stability
your own emotions
your own inability
to manage
to tame them
because you must learn to tame them.
We all have emotions
we are all moody at times
they key's how you then look at yourself
are you able to indulge yourself are you able
to laugh at yourself?
and tell yourself, "oh dear, I let my emotions take over"
and to take that step back, detach yourself,
and bring things back into order.
are you able, after a fight,
to look at your companion and tell him/her
we are intelligent people
we said things to each other that weren't very friendly
"Maybe we can find the prove we're capable of better than that ?"
People might tell me, yhea but it's the other..
it is always the others.
Sometimes, I admit, its hard.
Like in my story at the mall,
could of ended up badly. In the end
I got a good result
compared to what could have happened.
You might not end up
getting everything you want all the time.
But you can make sure
things happen a lot better.
than letting things unwind led your destructive emotions.
You're probably going to ask me, "How do I do that?"
"domesticate my thoughts?"
Well I can't really teach it
at this conference as it's the type of things
you learn
it can take months, or years or practice
but it's really something you can learn
by practicing
by training, learning to have a better inner relationship.
learning to look at yourself differently
having a friendly look at yourself
and instead of condemning your self for erros
try to understand what happened
look at what happened very objectively
failure does not exist
it is an experience
yes, it's not always very nice
because what happened doesn't not match what you want,
but it also gives you just the opportunity
to do otherwise
if you failed
it's probably because you were missing a number of elements.
You need to understand a fundamental thing,
and I keep repeating in my courses, I keep repeating it
in my books, I think it is very important.
I learned that
with a physician friend
as well as in Buddhism as it's thought in Buddhism
- you must realize
THAT ALL THE PHENOMENONS
ARE THE RESULT OF A CUASE AND CONDITIONS
what you live here, now, today
is a result.
It's the result of a large set of conditions.
Results, meaning result of.
What you are living now what you experiencing now
is the sequel of a long long chain
of circumstances of combined causes and conditions.
But you are not obligated to undergo them
because within those causes and conditions
you are a part of those causes and conditions
and you have
the conscious capacity
to change them
you can change those causes and conditions
imagine, a person insults you
you are not obliged to take it in
try for once not to let them insult you
whenI saw don't let them, I don't mean insult them back,
just don't let it get to you.
This other person is inventing stuff up
they are profiling you
but it doesn't concern you. It's not the truth.
I often play around
with my clients telling them if someone calls you dumb, and it hurts
it means you assume it to be true
but if you're aware of your value, if you're aware of who you are,
then insults no longer affect you.
It's his problem
The guy at the mall,who told me I was an *** *"&%§,
that's why I told him: "if it makes you happy..."
It's his though, not mine.
I'm not going to be pulled into
his story
I'd like to do a small thing with you
I think its an interesting imagery,
imagine that someone gives you
a 100 Euros banknote
for free, just like that.
by pure generosity, just like that
just imagine,
he's a multimillionaire, it doesn't really do much for him,
for him 100 Euros, isn't much.
so... he gives it to you.
I imagine,
to be honest that's
I would've done,
you'd accept it !
there is no exchange, nothing, he gives you the 100 Euro bill and disappears.
Personally I'd accept
so I guess you'd do the same, right?
would some of you refuse
those 100 Euros?
well, this will allow me to,
...I feel that you are...
well, i don't have 100 Euros
and I can't give it to everyone.
You'l see, you'l understand soon,
so lets imagine, this is 100 Euros,.
I'm a multimillionaire, that I don't care about it
I might even throw it out to the trash later
And I wouldn't be surprised to see everyone rush order the trash to go get later.
I'm just asking for you to play along,
for this demonstration
who wants the bill?
C'mon! I don't pretend !
Well, thank you
thank you to the honest ones.
Look at this
I crumple it, willingly
do you still want it?
I throw it on the floor,
I trample it
do you still want it?
why d'you still want it?
because it hasn't changed in value
in your life you'll get crumpled
you'll get trampled
but your value
won't change
for the association
I could,
I could talk like this for hours because
there are so many things to say
there are so many things to teach, even in my 25 year,
it's actually been more than 30 years I practiced personal development,
I was very fortunate to start young
with appalling life i had, I only had one thing to do
I'd, or submit to it,
as would say Cyrulnik, in suffering you have two
opportunities, you suffer
OR you do something with it
So, I decided to do something with it
this life was so
incredible in negative sense
That I though life was way to absurd
it's absurd to live like this
I even remember, when I was young, I had a fight with God.
I went to a chapel, and called him all sorts of things
and if he did exist I didn't care, he could struck me with thunder !
well, obviously nothing happened
I was very young, about 10/12 years old
I didn't understand why life could be so difficult
so cruel
But actually,
it wasn't cruel
life was just telling me
I hadn't choosen the right path
you know, if someone blindfolds you
Imagine some blindfolds you and leaves you in a in a labyrinth
how will you orientate yourself
you'll hit the wall,
and every time you hit the wall you'll know, "I'm not on the right bath"
so you reposition yourself,
until
you find
the path
the walls are there to tell you to reposition every time you hit them
and you move forward
that's what life is.
When you suffer, when you're not well, it's not a misfortune
life's telling you
you're wrong
in the way you think
in the way you act
in the way you express yourself
find the right attitude Once you find it, things change
You've already experienced it a ton of times
How many times have you "readjusted"
after a fight for example?
When you say, " I'm really sorry, It's really not what I meant to say,
wasn't at all what I wanted to do"
you descend
you get back to the same level
you understand the other
you're sorry and tell them.
Because you have affection for the person and fondness
you get back to a humane level
whereas if you would've stayed in your anger
what would you've obtained?
And there. Things change
the other softens too
well, obviously if you are facing as psycho-rigid
might take a lot more time
and if you're not a psychologist, might be better just to send him to one.
It's important you choose your partners wisely.
it is not by chance that you are with certain people
so don't complain either
you see how your vibration level changed on that moment.
you became softer
more affectionate
you had more love in your heart
and then
your relationship with the other person changed.
In Buddhism, it's said animals are mediums
medium, because they can feel how you are.
I remember
I had some episodes in life where I withdrew myself
to the countryside
and meditated. I remember there was a place
near a bench,
it was just below a huge statue of Jesus
with open arms.
most of the times he's crucified,
but not here, he just had his arms wide open
I was sitting on the bench, completely in the middle of nature
So, I'd wake up in the mornings at around 5am, and meditated there.
and I found it extraordinary because when I opened my eyes
I'd find wild animals in front of me
deers and does, I sometimes saw foxes passing by, all sorts
they weren't sacred of me
they weren't afraid because my mind
and spirit were at peace,quiet.
and perfectly aligned with nature,
the animals could feel it.
You can whiteness it if you have pets
this extraordinary how they vibrate
in correlation to your state of being.
and they too can give you points of references
animals are excellent masters.
We often hear people say
I am the master of this dog.
However, animals educate us
if you know when to listen. we're actually at
an organic and natural fair
So I guess you respect nature
because fortunately
we see what we have done to nature made it suffer greatly
and each one of you, I imagine, I hope
make a daily small gesture to to help nature
so far what we've done,
was limited to spoiling it
to take what she gives generously
without stopping,even when we continue to spoil it
she still gives, gives, gives,look we put tar all over, and nature still grows.
nature is extraordinarily generous
an extraordinary energy
nature vibrates within you
you are nature
you come from nature
that's why you must respect it, by respecting nature
you respect yourself
and when you respect yourself
you respect nature it goes both ways.
It's also part of your self-acomplishments
because you're
looking to accomplish and fulfill yourself.
you get more face to face with your nature.
with what you fundamentally are
and thus necessarily
with exterior nature too.
So yes,
to finish
I know, I know I still have time but
we don't always needs to have very very long speeches.
so, to conclude, I must say Yes, I know you can succeed.
whatever your goals are in life
if you have a dream aligned with your goals
then cultivate it well, as accurately as you grow a plant
give it water
give it sun
just enough, not too much
So you need to understand the art of gardening too
well, to achieve your dreams is the same thing
you must understand how you work, you must study yourself
same as studying a plant
the botanist told you "this plant needs a lot of
sun and this other one doesn't need it so much"
This one needs lots of water the other not really, etc...
There's a gardening science
and there is also the spirit's science.
you must understand how you operate
You must study yourself
understand who you are
and this is the only way
to gain self mastery.
There is no other way. It won't work to read a book here an there.
participating in a workshop here and there.
your life won't change.
Only by practicing every day.
Gandhi said "Be the change you want to be"
and now is when
you must do it
because what you do today determines what you will be tomorrow.
What you are today
is a reflection
of what you've nurtured and cared since
up to you to ask yourself the right questions
ask yourself if you are satisfied with your result
just ask yourself if
if there isn't something you can change to improve
It is your responsibility.
Thank you for listening.