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Has this ever happened to you?
Traditional garbage cans have maimed and disfigured dozens
of people around the world.
Even worse, with a normal garbage can, it often takes
one, two, three tries to get your garbage into the can.
That's why we invented the human garbage can.
For only $8.99 a month, we will supply you with a
board-certified human garbage can.
Just hand them your trash, and they'll take care of the rest.
No mess, no fuss, and no more tears.
Cat litter, baked ziti, toilet drippings.
The human garbage can can handle it all.
Don't worry.
They'll never judge.
These cans are completely self-sufficient.
Exemplary service 24 hours a day.
Each human garbage can comes with a two-year
manufacturer's warranty.
We'll replace a defective can, no questions asked.
Order yours today.
It's against company policy to sexually engage the human
garbage can.