Well Safari

[safari music playing throughout] [in australian accent:] We're here, at Emmanuel Faith Community Church, to experience the mating rituals and social rituals here that the wellanites have, here in California. Now this territory is very dangerous, so we're gonna have very much fun trying to dodge and trying to get a real live view of what's gonna happen here. So come on as we experience the real wellanite village. [80s music plays] [music: 'who's watching?'...] ['tell me who's watching'...] ['who's watching me?'] >> DONNI: Hey! This is Donni Delomuerta. >> BRIAN: Donni is a seasoned pro at watching these human specimen work. And I'm Brian Baulson. Now with a combined experience of ten years, we are able to give you the best description of what we're going to be observing here. [safari animal noises] Now the Well was created some say over 2 days ago. But I think it was much longer than that. Now not to interfere with the wellian's special interactions that they have, we must have proper disguise not to disturb them or even let them know you're there. Cuz if they know you're there...you're dead mate. So let's go. >> DONNI: Now, the wellinians are very skiddish. So we have to make sure that we do our best to stay downwind and to avoid any unnecessary interventions. >> BRIAN: Now the well is very selective, it has a very small population. But it's very interesting when outsider sheila comes in. It brings a little drama to the group. It's very interesting to watch. Here we have 8 of the finest species here that the Well has to offer, all possessing a different skill in either strength, brains, or attitude. Uh oh, it looks like the sheila has just entered their sights. [sound of herd charging] And with a great *** they all just surround her, eager to just try to get to know her and understand what she's all about. Ay you can see her flirt. Now each of these gents are showing off its greatest quality. If you see there are a few that are flexing their muscles, others that are flexing their smiles. Now these species are unlike any other, where facial expressions are actually a good thing, it doesn't mean danger. Now, this species has the unique ability to change its haircolor in order to attract the sheila. Here we have this colorful species, and one with blonde hair walks by...ahh he like that sheila. Oh and look, another blonde. He really is liking these girls. Crikey! He didn't even see the brunette. Exaggeration is a great way to show shortcomings in this group. >> GUY: One time I like smashed this building down with my hand, and it was just like super sick. So I'm like mega-ripped. >> GIRL: Oh my gosh that is amazing. >> GUY: ...starbucks and I got myself a really large drink and it was delicious, and I really liked my drink... >> BRIAN: But there's always a tool that might come in and hurt you. >> GUY2: Remember that time when you cried yourself and wet yourself while watching 101 Dalmations?? Oh man... >> DONNI: Look at that bloke...he freakin CB'd the guy. Now sometimes a bloke's most effective way of attracting a mate is the element of teamwork. [sound of plane taking off] [girls laugh] This is what I like to call 'The Wingman'. Now here we have a very tall specimen. He's very interesting so we're gonna try to catch him. We decided to set a trap...and here we go. Ah he's a big one. Ah he took two of us to get him down, he's very hard. Luckily he didn't put up much of a fight as we thought so we got out of there alive. "Ok we now just bagged one..." Now we decided not to put him back but take him to our secret facility to better understand him. Now we wanna get him a mate so we're gonna try to catch us a sheila to put with him. [cougar sound] Crikey! Now let's watch this scary moment again. He just comes out of nowhere and swings that huge paw right at me and I barely get out of the way. Now I've gotta get out of there, I've gotta run for safety. And the bloke stole my hat. ***. Now we're goin to try to catch another one but this one do a catch and release type. Now because he's such a big one we're gonna use a special method to get him. [explosion sound] Now don't worry we didn't hurt him. We nearly just knocked him out for a bit. He'll be fine. Hopefully. Now we tagged this big one and we sent him back into the wild. We gave him the codename 'an-dai'. Hopefully we'll be able to see him in a couple of years and see if he was able to bag his own sheila. It'll be interesting to see what kind of mates he'll be making, mate. Ah it was a great day out here in the Well. We got to see some clever beasts. Some tough ones, some scary ones, and even some confused ones. We're going to say goodbye now, but next week we'll be looking at the dancing natalie, who is very rare to see here. Very skiddish. And we're gonna have much fun tryin to find this sheila. G'day mate! [music plays. some kind of deep acapella frog-sounding version of 'stand by me'] [cougar call]