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[00:01] [United States Navy Training Film. Nonclassified.]
[00:08] [Commandments for Health]
[00:13] [Use Your Head]
[00:20] [McGillicuddy is peeling potatoes in the galley when he realizes he needs to
use the head and waves his hand]
[00:25] McGillicuddy: Hey, Sarge!
[00:28] Sarge: Ok, McGillicuddy.
[00:31] When you gotta go, you gotta - hey look out, Mac!
[00:34] [McGillicuddy runs out the door and into a tree with a sign]
[00:38] [7th Commandment] "Thou shalt not use any spots except chosen ones for deposition
of your excrement."
[00:46] "Thou shalt not urinate in thy brother's tent or street else he regard thee as a dog
and treat thee accordingly."
[00:57] In other words, that means: use your head!
[01:00] Avoid contaminating any area which could result in dysentery for your entire
unit!
[01:07] Uh, I gotta use the toilet.
[01:12] [Head]
[01:14] [Keep a lookout]
[01:17] [for a ***]
[01:19] [when you go-]
[01:21] [to take a cra-]
[01:24] [Burna Shave]
[01:28] [ Cawls away and doesn't follow the signs]
[01:32] Hey, stupid! Can't you read?
[01:38] [Reaches a chair with a hole in it with an umbrella over it]
[01:41] [Stacks of paper are piled next to the chair]
[01:42] Well, look at that. McGillicuddy's private one-holer. What a lay-up.
[01:49] Sun shade, library, toilet tissue, beautiful view, even gardenias, and a hell
of a good home for dysentery germs!
[02:04] [Reading a comic strip]
[02:06] Haha, what a dope.
[02:08] Yeah. What a dope.
[02:15] [Finishes and leaves the head while a fly overhead lands on the umbrella and rings
a triangle]
[02:20] Fly: Come and get it!
[02:23] [A swarm of flies fly towards the head]
[02:28] [Returns to the galley and smoke is coming out of the galley's chimney]
[02:33] [The fly smells the smoke and rings the triangle again]
[02:37] Fly: Oh, dessert!
[02:40] [Swarm of flies fly toward and into the galley's chimney]
[02:54] [Flies are sliding down potatoes, walking on pies, eating cheese, and touching
all the food]
[03:22] [Soldiers are eating the contaminated food in the mess hall]
[03:28] [All the soldiers in the Mess Hall run towards the head and behind them are all
the officers]
[03:37] And now, because of one man's carelessness, a whole unit is flat on its back!
[03:42] [Soldiers are in beds labeled 'Diarrhoea']
[03:45] Radio: We're Tokyo calling! We're Tokyo calling!
[03:49] Japanese man: We'sa good news! We discovered we have in the South Pacific, Yankee
Marine, who help our Japanese war effort.
[03:57] Japanese man: This'a Yankee, all the time make honorable bowel movement in wrong
location! All his buddy Yankee get dysentery!
[04:07] Japanese Man: Woo, make weak like pussycat! This honorable Yankee a'name, uh,
McGillicuddy!
[04:13] Soldiers: McGillicuddy!?
[04:16] [Soldiers are angry]
[04:19] Yeah, McGillicuddy. Go get'em boys!
[04:22] [A soldier on an excavator for the Decontamination Squad spots McGillicuddy on
his private head reading comics]
[04:29] Hahaha, what a dope.
[04:46] McGillicuddy, you made your bed - now lie in it!
[04:50] [The End. MN 2808 g. 1945]