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VOLPONE: Good morning to the day; and my gold!
(NANO laughing maniacally)
VOLPONE: Mosca, do you not greet my gold?
MOSCA: Oh, sir, I pity it.
VOLPONE: Pity it? Why?
MOSCA: Because it's caught there in the chest!
VOLPONE: And what would you do, set it free?
MOSCA: If I had the power, I'd give it wings--
VOLPONE: You fool! You must tense your muscles when you hold it...
VOLPONE: Coddle it! So it does not run away!
VOLPONE: You know I have no wife, no parent, no child to give my wealth to;
VOLPONE: but whom I choose to be my heir; and this... this makes men observe me.
NANO: Fool!
ANDRO: Fish!
NANO: Dog!
ANDRO: Bean!
MOSCA: Fools, be gone!
VOLPONE: May I ask what you--
VOLPONE: --supposing I should give them to you--would do with these golden swallows?
VOLPONE: You've been my parasite eight weeks now, you stupid pupil!
VOLPONE: Have you seen one single golden beetle creep from my treasure chest in that time?
MOSCA: Never master! Indeed, a whole new swarm has settled there.
VOLPONE: And do I live badly?
MOSCA: I hope I never live worse.
VOLPONE: Did you spread the news that I am miserable--dying?
MOSCA: Full-cheeked, like a trumpeter.
VOLPONE: Then the troops will soon be moving in. But I am ready to receive them.
VOLTORE: Master Volpone!
VOLPONE: The advanced guard already? MOSCA: It is Master Voltore the lawyer, I know the voice.
VOLPONE: Fetch me my furs, my gowns... (NANO laughing maniacally) VOLPONE: What now?
MOSCA: A plate, sir! Huge! Massive!
MOSCA: With your name engraved!
VOLPONE: Good, good. And now the fox mocks the vulture.
VOLPONE: I'll lay me down and make him think I'm ready for extreme unction.
VOLPONE: Now let the comedy begin!
MOSCA: Master Voltore! How magnanimous of you, sir,
MOSCA: to sacrifice your time--all Venice knows how precious it is.
MOSCA: Sir, Master Voltore is come.
VOLPONE: What say you?
MOSCA: Sir, Master Voltore is come, this morning to visit you.
VOLPONE: Oh, I thank him.
MOSCA: And he has brought an antique plate which he here presents.
VOLPONE: He is welcome. Pray him, to come more often.
MOSCA: Yes...
VOLTORE: Yes..
VOLTORE: How is his pulse?
MOSCA: Thin, barely there. Did you bring the will with you so I can have him fill it out?
VOLTORE: Here it is, all filled out, except for the heir's name
VOLTORE: and his signature. But am I the sole heir?
MOSCA: Without a doubt sir, confirmed this morning.
CORBACCIO: Volpone!
MOSCA: Now go sir, and speak to no one in the house.
VOLTORE: Oh Mosca! Happy, happy me!
VOLPONE: You are a sweet rascal, my Mosca!
VOLPONE: An excellent parrot, an apt pupil of mine.
MOSCA: Keep you still sir. Here is Corbaccio.
VOLPONE: Put the plate away,
VOLPONE: the Vulture is gone, and the old Raven has come.
MOSCA: Master Corbaccio!
CORBACCIO: How does your master?
MOSCA: In truth sir, he is rather worse.
CORBACCIO: Good! Good!
MOSCA: His speech is broken and his eyes are set.
CORBACCIO: Oh good!
MOSCA: A freezing numbness stiffens all his joints
MOSCA: and makes the color of his flesh like lead!
CORBACCIO: Very good! I shall outlast him! This makes me young again by scores of years.
CORBACCIO: Has he made his will? What has he given me?
MOSCA: Nothing, sir.
CORBACCIO: Nothing?!
MOSCA: He has not made his will, sir.
CORBACCIO: Why then did Voltore the lawyer just leave here?
MOSCA: Well, he presented him this plate.
CORBACCIO: To be his heir?!
MOSCA: I don't know, sir.
CORBACCIO: Oh, I know.
CORBACCIO: Well, I shall prevent him. I have brought a bag of bright coins.
MOSCA: This will recover him!
CORBACCIO: No! No! No! Not recover!
MOSCA: Recover so that at his first opportunity I will urge him to make the will and sign it.
CORBACCIO: Good! Good!
MOSCA: Now, make home with speed, sir.
MOSCA: You have not only done yourself good, but added multitudes upon your son.
MOSCA: But I do desire your worship to make haste.
CORBACCIO: It's done...
CORBACCIO: I go... (laughs)
VOLPONE: Oh I will burst! Such a bait, good rascal!
CORVINO: Volpone!
VOLPONE: Who's the thief outside?
MOSCA: Corvino.
VOLPONE: Oh, I will scourge the Crow's hide till it's the color of a monkey's bottom.
CORVINO: Volpone!
MOSCA: Softly, softly... he's just dosed off.
CORVINO: How soon will he be dead?
CORVINO: I've brought an *** here!
CORVINO: The doctor said upon taking it he'd fall into a fine, deep sleep.
CORVINO: Give it to poor Volpone in his wine if he is thirsty. Why should he be tortured?
MOSCA: Uhh... I've often wanted to get him a good doctor--
CORVINO: No! No doctors! Sometimes they actually help!
CORVINO: If a man is going to die...
CORVINO: ...let him die! Is the will made?
MOSCA: It is written, but not yet signed!
CORVINO: Not yet signed?!
CORVINO: Get a doctor right away!
MOSCA: The lawyer Voltore was just here.
MOSCA: He came of his own accord to draw the will for the master
MOSCA: and brought that plate as well.
MOSCA: Master Corbaccio came too!
CORVINO: They all got him presents?!
CORVINO: Did you think I brought nothing?
CORVINO: I have him, here...
CORVINO: A pearl!
MOSCA: Is the pearl oriental, sir?
CORVINO: Venice has never seen one like it.
VOLPONE: (groaning) Master Corvino...
MOSCA: He is here, sir!
VOLPONE: Master Corvino...
MOSCA: He calls you, step up and give it to him!
MOSCA: He is here, sir, and he has brought you a rich pearl!
CORVINO: How are you doing sir?
MOSCA: Sir, he cannot understand, his hearing is gone; and yet it comforts him to see you!
CORVINO: Say, I have a diamond for him too.
MOSCA: Best show him, sir.
MOSCA: Put it into his hand; it is only there he understands:
MOSCA: He has feeling, yet. See how he grasps it?
MOSCA: How is your gallant wife, the toast of all Venice?
CORVINO: Who said she was gallant?!
MOSCA: Oh, sir, the whole town knows the lovely Columba.
MOSCA: St. Marks is never so full as when she goes to hear the sermon.
MOSCA: My friends have often made my mouth water to admire her.
CORVINO: What right have you to look at her, you good for nothing?!
MOSCA: Every Friday, at the sermon...
CORVINO: At the sermon?
CORVINO: I'll teach her about the sermon. I'll go see to this myself!