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What is there to do exactly in The Siege of Shanghai besides passing
the time with some tomohawk missile action? In this Review I hope to answer
that very question.
Now I know what your thinking... "Aren't you just supposed to shoot stuff?"
Well yes, you can always shoot stuff, but you can do that anywhere. Were in
the Beautiful city of Shanghai, so put on your tourist *** pack and lets a go.
When you load up the Siege of Shanghai you are greeted by a building that
is having an identity crisis on whether it is standing or toppled. When you get
in the game your going to want to pick your mode of transportation.
Gas Guzler.. Too many machine guns.. Aaahhh... Perfect. Once you sattle up
feel free to sit back, relax, and take an easy ride down the litter covered
if not smoky streets of Shanghai. You've Earned it. Where are all the people
and cars? What is it, China's Day off? What, a red light?! GOD DAMNIT!
Well I've always been more of a fan of walking anyway. If anything, this
is a better way to take it all in. And Boyo is there a lot to take in here. I've
divided the stuff to do into 4 categories- Games.. Water Sports.. Tourist Spots..
And Terrorism! Theres a lot on hand here so lets get to it!
And First on the list are games. Games are awesome, and there are a lot
of creative ways to have fun here. I found myself on more than one ocasion playing
a little sign ball. GOAL!!! Some games are for the more simplistic kind, like
automatic door chicken. Some game are relaxing and easy, for example going up
and down in an elavator. OOOooo... They even have fun videos for you to watch while
you wait. There are puzzle games like, what is different between these two benchs.
Hmmmm.. Oh! Oh course, this one has a copper frame. We have Sneaky games on hand
here to like, Making the least amount of noise car jumping. And then there is the coup
de gra of games, it is overly addicting and Fun. It is Clicking a button!
Next up we have water sports. Water sports are like games except less dry.
Now before you mount up on your favourite boating device, make sure you slap on any
appropriate communist manifesto, and then you can be on your merry red way. Ahhh..
The salty sea air, the wind blowing through my hair. Don't like your small totally
uncool boat that isn't technically a boat at all? Get a bigger one god damnit,
obviously there is nobody here whos gonna miss it. Ahh, now this is more like it.
Nothing quite says boating like a massive array of Miniguns, Rockets, and a Rapid
25mm Cannon. EMmmmm.. America.. I mean Shanghai. Once your done shooting park
your boat somewhere, get out a fishing pole and just cast your line into the
pollution soaked Chinese water ways. Ummm, I swore I packed my fishing poles
somewhere.... And after all that machinery, motors, and fire power you'll most
likely find yourself longing the great outdoors... But You don't have that,
instead jump into this cesspool and swim around a little. Or a lot. Its up
to you, just make sure you don't grow a 3rd head or something. After you've spent
a few hours boating/swiming/whale hunting, you probably want to see something new..
And that something is hopefully one of the many tourist spots to behold in
wonderfully urban downtown Shanghai. Start off your tour by shopping in an empty
apartment store. And because it is empty you can pretty much rob the place. Want
to move around underground? Hit the confusingly mapped out Shanghai Metro System.
And while your there watch a video on transit. Or People or Trains, I don't really
know it is in Chinese. And no trip to Shanghai would be complete without a look at
some of the Modern Art pieces in and around town and pray that it pulls some deep
seeded emotions that you didn't know you had. And I know my day isn't done
until I have fit a little coporate finance in it, for that go to one of Shanghai's
many skyscrappers. Being in Shanghai it will of course have more Telivisions
showing state approved content. But I will find myself sometimes just staring into the
majestic glow of a burning car. Or another burning car. Or.. How the hell did this
catch on fire? And to finish off your sightseeing tour go on a roof and just
admire the beauty and chaos before you. Look at all that green pollution!
And this of course brings us to the last part of our review today. Thats
right guys and gals, terrorism. There is not too much to say here so I will just
let it speak for it self.
Well thats all folks, I hope you enjoyed this look at The Siege of
Shanghai. I had a lot of fun playing this map, I had to stop though when ***
started shooting at me! All because I asked them to play some sign ball. Oh well. Have
a great day, and have fun doing these things and more in Sunny Shanghai!