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Mrs. Sowerberry!
What is it?
will you have the goodness to come here a moment, my dear?
What is it? Well??
What is it Henry what do you want?
My dear, I've told Mr. Bumble that we...
Oh Hello Mr. Bumble
Hello Mrs. Sowerberry
That we have considered taking this boy to help in the shop
Oh dear me! He's very small
Yes he's rather small, but he'll grow Mrs. Sowerberry
I dare say he will, on our vittles and our drink.
They're a waste of time these work house boys
and they'll always cost more to keep than what they're actually worth
Still, you men always think you know best.
What you gona do with him?
There is an expression of sadness on his face my dear
which is very interesting
He could make a delightful coffin follower.
A what?
I don't mean a coffin follower to follow the groups
But only for the children's funerals.
It would be so perfect!
For once, just for once
I think you've had a good idea
Now then boy, what's your name?
My name's Oliver. Oliver Twist ma'am.
A singular name?
Ay ma'am, and one of my own choosing.
Yours Mr. Bumble?
Mine Mrs. Sowerberry.
Where did he come from Mr. Bumble?
The boy's mother came to us poor and alone.
Brings the child into the world and then dies
leaving us with the boy.
Oh dear dear
Now then boy, can you look like that gentleman up there?
Perhaps if I had a black hat.
Never mind about black hats
The boy's quite right Henry, go fetch him a top hat quickly
You stand right there
Yes. These things must be done proper and correct
Give me that!
It takes you twice as long to do anything as anyone else.
Yes
Yes
For once, and I'll say that again, just for once
You've had a good idea
Alright Oliver
Can you keep that expression on your face for a long time with a crowd watching you?
Yes ma'am I think so.
He's a born undertaker's mute.
I can see him in his black silk suit
Following behind the funeral procession
With his features fixed in a suitable expression.
There'll be horses with tall black plumes
To escort us to the family tombs,
With mourners in all corners
Who've been taught to weep in tune.
Then the coffin lined with satin.
That's your funeral!
That's your funeral!
Large enough to wear your hat in.
That's your funeral!
That's your funeral!
We're just here to glamourize you for that endless sleep.
You might just as well look fetching When you're six feet deep!
At the wake we'll drink a toddy to the body beautiful.
That's your funeral!
Not our funeral.
That's your funeral!
If you're fond of overeating
That's your funeral.
That's your funeral!
Starve yourself by undereating
That's your funeral.
That's my funeral?
Visualize the earth descending on you clod by clod.
You can't come back when you're buried underneath the sod!
We will not reduce our prices keep your vices usual.
That's your funeral
Not our funeral.
That's your funeral.
I don't think this song is funny.
That's your funeral.
That's your funeral.
Here's the boy, now where's the money?
That's your funeral.
That's your funeral!
We don't harbour thoughts macabre, there's no need to frown.
In the end we'll either burn you up or nail you down!
We love coughs and wheezes and diseases called incurable.
That's your funeral.
No one else's funeral.
That's your...
Funeral!
Right then Henry, get to bed!
Alright Oliver Twist, your bed's underneath the counter
You don't mind sleeping among coffins I suppose
It doesn't matter, cause you can't sleep no where else!