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Meat Is Not Green, huh?
If it is, you probably
shouldn't eat it.
Don't mock.
This book is fascinating.
Did you know that 18% of the
world's greenhouse gas emissions
come from animal agriculture?
That is fascinating.
If everyone at this school ate vegetables
instead of processed animal flesh
just one day a week, it would
make a huge environmental impact.
Huh.
What else can I do?
Is there, like, a
walk-a-thon or something?
No.
If you don't want
to do it for the earth,
- do it for your colon.
- Come on, I'm eating.
I can see that.
Vividly.
- [bleats]
- [scoffs]
Okay.
Recess is over.
Enjoy your carbon footprint.
I'm going to go do
something about this.
Of course you are.
- Still want to hang out after school?
- Sure.
Hey, Cameron, this seat
has your name on it.
Well, actually, it says "Dee's nuts,"
but you can still sit here.
No thanks.
My friends are waiting for me.
Hey, guys.
Thanks for saving me a seat.
Anyone want my Fruit Roll-Up?
I can't believe he's still hung up on you.
It's been three whole weeks.
I wish he'd get over me so we
could go back to being friends.
Those Goth kids are
going to eat him alive.
Ooh, don't look now.
It's Max Morita.
I'm so in love with him.
I thought you were in
love with David Allen.
That was before he flirted with
Kelly Morris in front of my face.
That's so rude.
Eh, I'm over it.
I've upgraded to
Max, and I couldn't be happier.
Oh, my God.
Dawn, that's it.
What's it?
If we find Cameron someone else,
he'll be so happy we can
go back to being friends.
Bianca, are you saying what
I think you're saying?
[both] Matchmaking!
and iSubs.
coil.
us.
to Teams!
What about Barbara?
She bites her nails and eats them.
Ugh.
Gina?
She just had a baby.
Oh, I thought she just
lost a bunch of weight.
What about her? Stacy.
According to her stats,
she's freakishly tall,
just like Cameron.
But I don't know if she's his type.
It says here she likes cats, hiking
in the foothills, and Celine Dion.
Cameron hates cats and hiking.
[cell phone rings] Ooh,
it's my future husband.
Hi, Max.
[Dr.
Stratford] Bianca.
So what's up?
No!
Really?
Uh-oh, you have "old person
trying to use the computer" face.
I can't figure out how
to uplink a photo.
Upload.
What's it for?
CyberSerenade?
A friend at the hospital convinced me
to sign up for this online dating site.
Oh, Dad, that's so great.
I don't know.
I haven't dated since
Since Mom died.
Yes, but also since
I looked like this.
Hair?
Oh, my God.
My friend says
you should assume
everybody's 10 years older
and 50 pounds heavier
than their picture.
I figure when women
meet me, they'll think,
Well, he's bald, but at
least he can see his feet.
It says here you're interested
in Nora Ephron movies,
antiquing, and tending
to your herb garden.
We don't have an herb garden.
But we could.
Think about it.
Fresh herbs, mm.
Dad, these are all lies.
My friend says to think of
them more as sales tools.
You're right.
He's an idiot.
No.
He is a genius.
Well, he is a brain surgeon.
Dawn, I have a great idea.
School spirit has
seriously been sagging
since we lost the girls' golf finals.
As spirit chair, it's my job
to lift people's spirits,
which is why we need
more funds for balloons.
Danica, this is a travesty.
If the balloon budget has been blown,
then we cannot afford to
just stick a pin in this.
Out of order.
You must be recognized
by the president in order to speak.
Our president's asleep in his chair.
[snores]
A vivid example of why so few
surfers become great legislators.
I've got orchestra
practice in 15 minutes,
and I have to soak my reed.
Can we adjourn?
Motion to adjourn can only
be made by the president.
Is there any more business?
I have something?
Point of order, you must
be recognized by the
The president recognizes the patient
young lady with the long brown hair.
Please continue.
I'm here to ask for your help.
Every day, the earth is
getting closer and closer
to cataclysmic climate change,
yet every year, we're burning
more and more fossil fuels.
It's time for our
generation to say enough.
We didn't cause this mess,
but we can clean it up,
and that starts right here, right now,
with your approval of
"Meatless Mondays".
But Mondays are pepperoni pizza day.
Allow me to share this short but
educational slide show on the urgent
I don't have time for a slide show.
Can we table this?
Unlike Balloongate, this
actually is a serious issue.
If we stick a pin in it,
we're all going to die.
I doubt that'll happen
by our next meeting,
but I'll put you on the agenda.
Adjourned.
Welcome to hell.
You're lucky.
You're just visiting.
Cameron James?
He's one of the eight boys at
school who's taller than me.
Plus he's got great eyes.
But trust me, he's not interested.
Yet.
That's where we come in.
We are going to give you
A makeover!
A makeover!
Oh, my God.
I've always dreamed of getting
makeovers from cheerleaders.
Wait, you're not going to pour
pig's blood on me, are you?
No, we just want to help you
reach your full potential.
This is so great.
I can't wait to see my new hair.
And when do I get to try on
all my different outfits?
Will I get to twirl around
while the sales girls applaud?
We only have until next period,
so we don't have time for
the full makeover montage.
But relax.
Dawn is a styling genius.
And I'll give you a crash course
on all of Cameron's favorite things.
Oh, my God, this is going to be fun.
This is Kate.
She blew up the
trailer her stepfather was in,
but you learn later that she
was completely justified.
You love your old Legos
and refuse to give them away,
no matter what your mom says.
You're counting down the days
until Toy Story 3 comes
out on June 18th,
and he's going to college.
? I don't know what
to do about her ?
? She's one of those
kind of girls ?
? So tell me what
to do with her ?
Wow.
You look stunning.
Can I see?
Not till the big reveal.
Now we just have to find the
perfect place for them to meet.
Somewhere where she's back-lit.
Oh, yeah.
We did not get a chance
to officially meet.
Kat Stratford.
William Blankenship.
Everyone calls me Blank.
I wanted to thank you for trying
to intervene on my behalf.
Oh, I'm sorry I gave that impression.
Frankly, I couldn't care less
about your little crusade.
I just had a spontaneous outburst
because you're the first
American I've met
who's actually aware
there's an entire world
beyond the boundaries
of your jingoistic,
gluttonous, puffed-up
former superpower.
Okay.
I think there's some
common ground in there.
Different words, maybe.
I also noticed your hair.
I like brown hair.
It gives a woman an
air of intelligence.
Much like your English accent
gives you an air of
snobbish entitlement.
Oh, dear God.
It's not just an air.
You actually are intelligent.
And I want meatless Mondays passed.
Never going to happen.
This year's most sweeping piece of legislation
was the bold switch to
two-ply toilet tissue.
I agree.
This school is filled
with apathetic mouth-breathers.
But this is a chance to actually
change things for the better.
Isn't that what politics is all about?
Aw, that's adorable.
Politics is about power.
Wait.
And this would show people that
the student council has it.
See?
Your ego wants to help me.
All right, I'm in.
Let's shake things up.
Give me your number.
We can strategize.
That was easy.
I'll call you.
Who's that guy?
- His name is Blank.
- Blank?
Sounds like a ***.
Please don't use that word.
It's loaded with gender bias.
I know.
That's why I like it.
Hey, Cameron.
I'm sorry, I'm
late for an awards ceremony.
Wait.
I know you don't
want to talk to me, but
Yeah, I know, and that's easier
to do when you don't talk to me,
so please don't.
Look, I'm just trying to do a
favor for my friend Stacy.
She has a huge crush on you.
Really? Your friend?
Stacy who?
Stacy.
The cute, tall girl.
That's her right over there.
[Cameron] Wow.
That's not how she looked first period.
[Bianca] Girls are like flowers.
You'll never know when they'll bloom.
Listen, she's too shy to talk to you,
so if you're interested,
you better make a move
before some other guy snatches her up.
Oh, gosh.
A move?
Which one will I pick?
Just talk about Lost.
She's a huge fan.
Lost?
So am I!
My theory about the smoke
monster will blow her mind.
It's the spirit of the island.
[Bianca] Great.
I don't know why,
but I just have this feeling
you two are going to
really hit it off.
Thanks, B.
Hey.
- Hi.
- So I hear you know
something about a plane crash.
So
You need to go after the 3 swing votes
voting is all about exploiting the
weakness, desire or vanity of your target.
First up:
Tabitha 'out of order' Cook
She's more desperate for respect
than a washed up boy band.
Tabitha, you are the
face of student council.
I mean, you make the
announcements every morning
It's harder than it looks.
We don't even have a teleprompter.
That's why I need you to be the
face of "Meatless Mondays".
If this thing works,
it could go National.
-You could be interviewed on
-Fox News?
Just picture it "Tabitha Cook,
the voice of America's future".
"This is Tabitha Cook".
Then is our illustrious President Trey.
This is how he looks awake.
To see him like this, you need
to get him before second period.
Trey, got an idea.
Sign this absentee ballot and you won't
have to come to today's meeting.
And I hear the surf's 10 feet
and off shore and cresting.
Dude, that's awesome.
I mean, it's too many damn meetings.
I only ran because my
friend Luke goes "Dude
if you run for President,
I'll lick your dogs butt.
":
I go: "Dude, it's on"
[mumbles]
And let us not forget
Our school spirit fundamentalist.
Meat is so much more expensive than
even locally grown vegetables,
that the savings would
be enough for us to
buy our very own helium tank.
So then, I tell her about the
helium tanks, and she says
"Thank God, my cheeks
are killing me.
"
Sounds like my Roast Beef
sandwich days are numbered.
You can kiss your meat goodbye.
I still got Tuesday through Thursday.
Oh, so we're not having
"Meatless Friday's" too huh?
So I printed this up, it's a
new theory on the real reason
why Oceanic flight 815 crashed.
My God, time traveling
fantasy TV is so confusing.
Oh, hey Cameron, we were just
talking about you.
Sit, Sit.
Hello Ladies.
Gotta a little gift for you.
-Oh
-Yeah
It's your favorite!
Brigadier General, Billy Mitchel.
Right! From that
war.
World War I, Stacy.
She's a little nervous.
Thank you so much, Cameron.
I'll put them by my bed.
Well, no it should really be in a
climate controlled environment.
You'll keep him in your special
refrigeration case Stace.
- Oh Ok
- Perfect.
Ok, I got a little surprise.
My mom, made and extra
peanut and bacon sandwich for you.
She cut the crust off and
put it on olive bread
just like we like it.
That
looks really good.
Oh, it's so good, right?
I bet it tastes better than
one of those expired Dharma
candy bars Hurley found
in the Hatch huh?
Yeah, like from "Lost", right?
Uh, I can't.
I can't.
Bianca, I really appreciate
the make over but
remember everything you told me to say
and I hate bacon and
Kevin deserves a girl
who will treasure this Billy D.
Williams action figure.
I'm sorry.
She just called this an Action Figure.
What is going on?
Did you put her up to this?
I just wanted you to be happy.
.
Well, mission accomplished!
I'm sso happy.
Cameron, she really was
interested in you.
Come on, come on.
Please go my way.
Hey.
Want to get out of here?
No now.
Student Council is
voting on "Meatless Mondays"
-Again?
-No it was tabled remembered?
What?
It was defeated? x
It passed by 3 votes.
"Your Mondays will
evermore be 'Meat free"
We did it!
Thank you so much!
I only did it so you'd
stop hounding me.
I should head back inside.
Before Tabitha has be
drawn and quartered.
Oh, yes!
Can you believe this?
Nice, we go now?
That's it? I finally change something
around here for the better,
and all you say is "That's nice"?
Well done mate!
Cheerio!
Look who's a *** now!
Oh, no.
I know, I know.
Insert "Dead Raccoon" joke here.
Dad, what were you thinking?
I uploaded that picture of me with hair
and then things just snow
balled out of control.
And the snow ball killed a
raccoon and landed on head?
At least it gave it's
life for a good cause.
I guess the lesson here is
honesty is the best policy.
Think I would have learned that by now.
Well my date
wasn't completely honest
on her profile either.
I think she went to high
school with your Grandfather.
So, it was a disaster?
You know, it was strange
while I was waiting for
her to walk in the door
I felt excited.
Your mother was the love of my life
and after she died I never thought
I never thought I'd want to
meet someone again.
But just
that little spark
of anticipation made me realize.
Life goes on!
Daddy, that's fantastic.
Now please take that thing
off your head an burn it.
I would but it's glued on.
Hey everybody!
Who wants a balloon filled
with this super cool helium?
Veggie lasagna and side salad.
Um.
.
Smells like victory.
Oh, I wouldn't know
I lost my sense of smell in 'Nam.
Oh, I'm s
Because here at Padua High
we know that we can't
enjoy our lunch today
unless we think about tomorrow
This is Tabitha Cook,
Voice of America's Future
signing off.
Ok, I need a copy of that ASAP
I'm sending it straight
to Gretta Vansestron
Cat, I so appreciate what you've done.
I've always wanted to
be socially conscious.
And you've made it
possible for me to do so.
Within my existing schedule.
Hey! Saving the planet
shouldn't be a chore.
Well, I think it's awful
what Blank has done.
Blank?
What do you mean?
Ladies and Gentlemen
I am a big fan of tradition
I believe a man should
open a door for a lady.
I believe nothing says class
like a white Oxford shirt.
And I believe that everyone has a right
to a slice a pepperoni pizza
to get them through a tough Monday.
Bad people have taken
your pepperoni away.
They are force feeding you
their Hippy agenda instead.
But I promise you this, I
will fight for your meat!
In fact, I'm making it the
corner stone of my campaign
for Padua High student
council President.
-Pizza!
-Blank!
Cat, do you want a slice of pizza?
I ordered on plain cheese.
I'm pretending this is your face.
Cat, I told you from the start that
I didn't believe in your crusade.
So you helped me get it passed,
just so you can tear it down?
You are such a ***.
Well, there's no reason for
vulgarities, you got your veggies
and I got divisive wedge
issue to put me on the map.
It's a win, win!
Yea, us!
Don't try to spin this.
You betrayed me.
It's not personal, it's just politics
Cameron, here me out.
I know you are mad, but I have
if you never want to speak to me, fine.
Did you like Stacy?
- Yes
- Were you excited about Stacy?
- Yes - So it's theoretically
possible that you
could be interested in
someone besides me?
Yes, if she wasn't just
a theoretical person.
I know, I did the wrong thing
But I did it for the right reasons.
I thought if you got excited about someone
else, then you'd be happy and we could go back
to being friends, and it worked!
Yeah, right up until my
complete and utter humiliation.
.
But, You felt something for Stacy.
What means you getting over me
You know, it could have be worse.
She can walk off with your
Brigadier General Billy Mitchell.
I can't believe you really
did all the research.
You knows even what more unbelievable?
I'm know addicted to that stupid
antique soldier site on Ebay.
You know.
people are going to nuts on
this German General Eric Ludendorf.
No way!
There is a Luddy up for sale?
- Yea.
it's expires in two hours.
- I'm better going on that
I need him to completely my depiction
of the 'Spring Offensive of 1918'.
- I'm missed you, Cameron.
- Me too.
[Music Playing]
Only if you promise no
to say, "I told you so".
You were right about Blank, He such a do
Do-haed.
- I gotta to stop to using that word
- So, Blank's a ***.
- I told you so.
- I can't believe
I let him use me like that
Well, you changed things.
.
Because of you, I'm
eating my first soy dog.
What do you think?
It's not bad.
But if guys hate meat so much
Then why it's taste like a meat?
- Ahh.
- No, I'm serious
- What's up with that?
- Well, it's not that I hate the taste
It's just that what ever I'm seeing meat,
all I see it's little face, saying
"Don't eat me".
UN huh, And how long you
been in these hallucinations?
For years.
But this is
definitely my best one.
You
eating a soy dog.
- Hmm
I'm not going to grow man *** like
the guy from Entourage right? Right?
Alright, I forgot to
tell you that part.
Don't worry, You look
great in a 'B' cup.
- Thank you
- You're welcome.