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Chicken Productions
& Avocado Studio
Present
A film
With Spencer Gravel as the detective, Louis Chevalier
Ioram Proteus Elam Rehoboam as the assistant, René Marcel, & as the organist.
& Emumarseum Hapr as the police chief, Jean-Paul Lamarck, Maurice Lecoq, & the suspects.
Also with Kalina, Dasha, and Tatiana as themselves
& Clover as the adorable cat.
With an original score by Spencer Gravel.
How Do You Say "***"?
a cautionary tale
In Police Chief, Jean-Paul Lamarck's office, 12:00 am.
"Good evening, Sir"
"Do you have the merchandise?"
"No. Some one else had more money."
"You know how this works."
"Yeah, I know, but you know how I work."
"Please! This isn't neccesary!"
***!
The next morning.
"Oh no!"
"Jean-Paul is dead!"
"I'm in charge now."
A bit later...
"A note!"
It's in the Park of the Chickens.
Later.
Dear Charlemagne, Last night, police chief Jean-Paul was killed. It's terrible.
I think I could have saved him. Now I must avenge him. Wish me good luck. ~Louis
Later, Inspector Chevalier calls his assistant, René Marcel.
"Hello René. Jean-Paul is dead."
"What!?"
"Yes, it's true."
"What happened?"
"He was killed in his office last night."
"Do you know who killed him?"
"No, but I found a mysterious note."
"It says that there's something in the Park of the Chickens."
"Meet me there."
"Okay."
After 30 minutes, the two search for clues in the Park of the Chickens.
"I don't see much."
"It's a normal park."
"Yes, except for the chickens!"
"I think this is a red herring."
"Wait a moment! There's another note on the ground!"
"What does it say?"
"I don't know. It's in English."
***!
"Stop, murderer!"
***!
"Drop your weapon!"
Chevalier interrogates the murderer.
"Who are you?"
"Let me go!"
"No! What is your name?"
"Did you kill Jean-Paul?"
"Stop! I'll talk if you let me go!"
"My name is Maurice Lecoq. I didn't kill the chief."
"Well, then who did?"
"I don't know. Probably a competitor."
"I bought something from Jean-Paul."
"But there were others who wanted to buy the same thing."
"This park is a hot spot for smugglers."
"What did you buy?"
"No. I've said too much."
"Tell me!"
"No! I can't say any more!"
"Fine, but leave the country, and never return!"
"Okay."
Later, Louis goes back to his office to translate the English note.
"My God! Jean-Paul was an organ trafficker!"
The next day, Chevalier questions more suspects at the police station.
"Did you kill Jean-Paul Lamarck?"
"No! It wasn't me!"
"Where were you at 11:30 pm on November 30?"
"I was with my sick mother. You can ask her!"
"Do you know who killed him?"
"No, Sir! I swear!"
"Next, please!"
"Where were you at 11:30, November 30?"
"I was also with the last suspect's sick mother!"
"Why were you there?"
"She's a very nice woman!"
"Next!"
"Did you kill this man?"
"No. I was too busy killing another police chief."
"What!? Which chief?"
"I don't know. Bye!"
"Next!"
"Please! It wasn't me!"
"I was dead at the time!"
"Next!"
"I didn't do anything!"
"I know nothing!"
"It wasn't me!"
"You can leave."
"I'm innocent! What? Oh, thanks."
"Next!"
"Where were you at 11:30 on November 30?"
"I was giving a sickness to the first suspect's mother."
"While her son was there?"
"Yeah! It was his idea!"
"Next!"
"I don't exist."
"Next!"
"I was at the party with the first suspect's mother."
"Next!"
"Next!"
"Next!"
"Next!"
"Hey!"
Disappointed, Louis ponders his failure.
"What happened?"
"The note in the park said that Jean-Paul had some organs..."
"...but I can't find any evidence of his operation!"
"It's very confusing!"
"Maybe Google Translate was wrong!"
Chevalier looks up the English word "organ" in a paper dictionary.
Organ- 1.(Music) Pipe organ; 2.(Anatomy) Body part.
"There are two meanings of the word 'organ'! It was the organist!"
"Yes, it was me! I killed the chief!"
"But, why?"
"He sold my pipe organs to some one else."
"So you killed him!?"
"We had a deal, but he betrayed me!"
"You have to come back to the station with me!"
"You're under arrest!"
"You'll never take me alive!"
***!
The End.
Subtitles by the Amara.org community