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Here are ten ways to know you're a redneck.
One. You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
Two. The Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice.
Three. The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape.
Four. You've ever bought a used cap.
Five. You've ever financed a tattoo.
Six. You've ever stolen toilet paper.
Seven. You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
Eight. The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.
Nine. You prefer car keys to Q-tips.
Ten. You think a turtleneck is a key ingredient for soup.