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MOTHER, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL DAY!
I KNOW I'M EXCITED!
I HAD AN ACCIDET WITH THE CAR!
OH, NO, I'M NOT HURT, NOBODY WAS HURT,
BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL CHARLES ABOUT I.
YOU KNOW HOW MADLY IN LOVE HE IS WITH THAT SILLY CAR.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED.
I WAS DRIVING DOWN ELM STREET
AND I PASSED BY FLORA'S MILLINERY SHOP,
AND I NOTICED SHE HAD AN EMPRESS EUGENIE HAT IN THE WINDOW.
AND I THOUGHT TO MYSELF "ARE THOSE THINGS COMING BACK?"
AND I GUESS FOR A MOMENT MY MIND WENT OFF THE DRIVING
BECAUSE THE NEXT THING I KNEW
I WAS DRIVING RIGHT THROUGH THE WINDOW
OF JIM GRADY'S LIQUOR STORE.
OH, IT'S A MESS, THE BOTTLES AND EVERYTHING.
THE CAR'S PRETTY BADLY DAMAGED.
I HAD IT TOWED TO BILL'S GARAGE.
THEY'RE GONNA CALL ME LATER AND --
WAIT A MINUTE, MOTHER,
I HEAR CHARLES.
I'LL CALL YOU BACK!
HELLO, DARLING, HOW ARE YOU?
( franticly ) HOW ARE YOU, DEAR, DEAR BOY?
HOW ARE YOU, DEAR?
HOW ARE YOU, DEAR, DEAR BOY?
HOW ARE YOU? HOW ARE YOU?
HOW IS MOTHER'S DEAR BOY?!
HOW ARE YOU?
MISERABLE!
I HAD A MISERABLE DAY DOWN AT THE OFFICE.
TOOK INVENTORY.
I DON'T MIND MISTAKES,
BUT THESE MEN WERE CARELESS!
I DON'T LIKE CARELESS PEOPLE.
PEOPLE CAN MAKE MISTAKES, BUT THIS WAS PURE CARELESSNESS.
I'M VERY UPSET AND VERY EXCITED.
I THINK - I DON'T THINK I'LL HAVE DINNER, DEAR.
I THINK I'LL JUST TAKE THE CAR AND TAKE A DRIVE AND RELAX.
NO, NO, NO!
UH... SIT DOWN, DARLING AND RELAX.
YOU'LL FEEL MUCH BETTR IF YOU EAT.
YEAH, MAYBE THAT WILL BE BETTER.
CAN'T EAT, DEAR.
IT JUST STICKS IN MY STOMACH AND THROAT.
I'LL JUST TAKE THE CAR AND TAKE A NICE, RELAXING DRIVE.
NO, NO, NO, NO!
NO, DARLING, EAT,
YOU'LL FEEL BETTER.
AND I COOKED YOUR FAVORITE DISH.
KIDNEY STEW WITH LOBSTER SAUCE.
POOR JIM GRADY..
WHAT HAPPENED TO POOR JIM GRADY?
WELL HE OWNS THE LIQUOR STORE ON ELM STREET.
ON ELM STREET, YEAH.
AND TODAY SOMEBODY DROVE A CAR
RIGHT THROUGH HIS FRONT WINDO.
( laughing )
I BET --
I BET YOU IT WAS A WOMAN DRIVER.
I THINK IT WAS.
YOU KNOW,
I DON'T BLAME HER SO MUCH
AS THE CRAZY HUSBAND THAT LET HER DRIVE!
I GUESS IT WAS THE HUSBAND'S FAULT.
WHAT A PILE OF DOUGH THAT'S GONNA COST.
WHOO BOY!
BETTER TO DRIVE IT THROUGH A JEWELRY STORE WINDOW
THAN A LIQUOR STORE WINDOW.
WHAT AM I WORRIED ABOUT? HE'LL PAY FOR IT.
YOU KNOW SOMETHING, DARLING,
I'VE BEEN GIVING IT A LOT OF THOUGHT
AND I DON'T WANT THAT NEW FUR COAT.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU DON'T WANT THE NEW FUR COAT?
YOU'VE BEEN PESTERING ME FOR A YEAR.
WE TOOK IT OUT OF MY SALARY FOR 6 MONTHS.
LOOK, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE FINANCIAL AFFAIRS IN THIS HOUSE.
I'LL WORRY ABOUT THEM.
IF I COULD ONLY GET THOSE GUYS AT THE OFFICE
TO WORRY A LITTLE MORE ABOUT THEIR WORK,
I WOULDN'T BE SO AGGRAVATED.
JUST PLAIN CARELESSNESS!
I CAN'T EAT, I'M GONNA TAKE THE CAR FOR A DRIVE.
NO, NO, NO!
IT ISN'T WISE.
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?
I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU.
FIRST I WANT TO BUY YOU THE COAT, YOU DON'T WANT THE COAT.
THEN THERE'S THE CAR.
WELL, I DIDN'T TELL YOU,
BUT I TOOK THE CAR OVER TO BILL'S GARAGE FOR SOME MINOR REPAIRS.
THAT'S FUNNY, I JUST TOOK IT IN FOR A THOUSAND MILE CHECKUP.
I GUESS THEY DIDN'T CHECK IT UP VERY GOOD.
IS THE CARBURETOR A LITTLE OUT OF...
PROBABLY...
ARE THE BRAKES SLIPPING?
THEY SLIPPED.
WELL, UH, THE WINDSHIELD...
THERE'S NO WINDSHIELD.
ARE THE WHEELS SORT OF OUT OF LINE?
THEY'RE ALL KIND OF OUT OF LINE.
AS A MATTER OF FACT,
THE WHOLE CAR IS SORT OF CURVED.
THE LUGGAGE RACK DOESN'T CLOSE.
THE DOORS DON'T QUITE COME TOGETHER.
THE RADIO NEVER WAS VERY GOOD.
AND THE FRONT OF THE CAR
IS SORT OF WHERE IT SHOULDN'T BE.
THE UPHOLSTERY IS A LITTLE STAINED.
( mouthing words )
YOU!
YOU DROVE THE CAR THROUGH THE LIQUOR STORE WINDOW!
( babbling )
JIM GRADY WAS QUITE NICE ABOUT IT.
HE WASN'T NEARLY AS MAD AS DOC FLETCHER.
WHO'S DOC FLETCHER?
DOC FLETCHER IS THE MAN WHO OWN'S THE DRUG STORE
RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE LIQUOR STORE.
YOU SMASHED UP A DRUG STORE TOO?!
WELL I HAD TO BACKUP
TO GET OUT OF THE LIQUOR STORE!
( verge of tears ) AFTER ALL, IT WAS JUST AN ACCIDENT.
IT COULD HAVE HAPPENED TO ANYBODY.
NOBODY'S PERFEC!
WELL YOU WERE PERFECT IN THIS,
TWO SHOTS IN ONE.
"CRAZY HUSBAND" HA HA HA HA...
NOBODY WAS HURT, HUH?
NOBODY WAS HURT, JUST INANIMATE OBJECTS.
WELL THEN,
IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF MONEY.
MONEY!
WELL, I...
PRETTY LUCKY THOUGH,
I'M LUCKY I REMINDED YOU
TO SEND THE CHECK TO THE INSURANCE COMPANY
TO RENEW THE POLICY.
( disheartened laugh )
LUCKY BOY, ME.
WHAT A LUCKY BOY...
THAT I REMINDED YOU.
WE'D NEVER BE OUT OF DEBT.
I'M AFRAID TO ASK.
DEAR -- OH, NO...
DEAR, DID -- AHEM...
DID YOU --
( strangled words ) DID YOU REMEMBER --
DID YOU REMEMBER TO PAY --
THE PREMIUM AMOUNT ON THE INSURANCE POLICY?
OF COURSE I DID, DEAR, YOU TOLD ME TO.
YOU DID! OH, BOY!