Cgrundertow Dino Land for Sega Genesis Video Game Review

Well, this is unnecessary. This is just rubbing salt in 65-million-year-old wounds. The dinosaurs didn’t have long forelimbs...or hands. Can you imagine Tyrannosaurus rex trying to play pinball? No, you couldn’t—because he couldn’t. In fact, that’s why the pinball industry didn’t catch on until after its extinction. No need to kick a dead species. It’s Dino Land for the SEGA Genesis. This shameful example of speciesism was originally released back in 1991. The developer was known as Wolf Team, a studio that made all kinds of games before Namco purchased it and changed its name to Namco Tales Studio. Today, they’re known for a little series of RPGs called Tales. Tales of Pinball-o-sauria. So obviously, there’s an accomplished developer behind this thing...but I have to be honest. This is a pretty boring pinball game. I mean, you’d think a product that mixes dinosaurs and pinball would be foolproof, but...you know, triceratops probably thought its greatest danger was carnivorous therapods. Probably didn’t expect a godd*amn meteor and subsequent acid rain, megatsunamis and total f*cking darkness. Couldn’t even play pinball, either. What a terrible way to go. You have to rescue your dino-girlfriend from a bad guy named Dino-Mike. That’s the coolest part of this game. And you do that, obviously, by speeding along the extinction process with a pinball. You kill the bad dinosaurs, and eventually, you face off against these dino-bosses...I don’t know. The boards are really slow and uneventful. Plus, there are only three of them. Tricera-board. The Genesis had some really wacky pinball games, and this is definitely one of them. Also had some great pinball games, but...I’m not sure Dino Land falls into that category. Avid pinballers might find it okay, but everyone else...meh. Just, uh...play some other pinball game whilst watching Jurassic Park. Same thing, only better.