Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
What the research shows us is that is that children can react in a number of ways. Some
children react to their parents arguing by being
naughty. There is a number of reasons for that. It could be, what they're doing is they're
actually demonstrating the fact that they're upset.
Very often, because kids are really bright, they're doing it to distract you. So, by them
doing something that draws your attention to them,
they're stopping you from having a go at each other. So think about that. Because often
what you're doing is, you are contributing to this
acting out behaviour which is much more common in boys. Another reaction is to go very withdrawn.
Where a child gets anxious and will often just skedaddle, get out of the way, go up to their
room, or just sort of, go off to a quiet corner. And, you think 'oh they're not even bothered'.
Well they probably are, they're probably very bothered.
And, it's easy to think that, that child is actually, you know managing it. But they're
not and it can come out a lot later and that's more
common in girls. And, the third type of reaction is where the child tries to be a bit of a
parent and say 'oh dad, don't do this' or 'bring
mum a cup of tea' and try to make up for what they see isn't right for their parents. Those
are three very common reactions what we call the troublesome
child, the sad but troubled child, and the parent child. And, we'll all know that because
we were all probably like that ourselves when
we were children. So, think about that. Think about therefore, when you argue avoid the
kinds of things that are very upsetting to children clearly
where there is physical violence, verbal abuse, where you show real distain for somebody,
you just say 'oh, I don't believe', you know, that
sort of thing, children if they see that, will then begin to think that their parents
may begin to act that way towards them.