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U.S.
WHAT IS THE JOB?
ANCHORMAN.
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA.
WOW, CONGRATULATIONS.
CALLED THEM UP?
THEY CALLED US. IT WAS THAT SKYJACKING STORY THEY LIKED.
I COVERED THAT.
YEAH, BUT YOU DIDN'T INTERVIEW THE SKYJACKER'S THERAPIST.
ONLY BECAUSE IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE STORY.
WELL, THAT'S WHAT THEY LIKED.
THAT WAS A SERIOUS STORY. THERE WERE LIVES AT STAKE.
YOU TURNED IT INTO A CIRCUS.
AND THAT'S WHY I'M GOING TO SACRAMENTO AND PULLING DOWN
THREE BIG ONES, AND YOU'RE STAYING HERE.
WHY, BECAUSE I STILL TRY TO REPORT THE FACTS?
OH, THAT IS SO PRETENTIOUS.
WE'RE IN THE ENTERTAINMENT BUSINESS; YOU'RE A PERFORMER.
NO, I DON'T DO THE STAR TRIP,
DULL IS NOT A STYLE, DAN.
SORRY, BUT THAT'S THE TRUTH.
THE WHOLE CHANNEL 10 PACKAGE IS DULL.
SETH MILLER, HE SHOULD BE SELLING FARM MACHINERY.
DULL.
EXCEPT FOR, UH...
,
LLAS
YOU MARK MY WORDS.
WHAT DO YOU MAKE? 60 CANADIAN, 70?
I DIDN'T GET INTO THIS FOR THE MONEY, OK?
OH, COME ON.
YOU'RE THIRTYSOMETHING. WHERE DO YOU WANT YOUR CAREER TO GO?
WHERE DO YOU WANT TO END UP?
I WOULD LIKE TO END UP WITH MY SELF-RESPECT.
UST CE.
TWO MORE, PLEASE.
PUT
WE MUST LOOK AT THIS TIARA.
COULD I HAVE IT BY TOMORROW?
IF SHE HAS TIME, AND SAY THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
OK, LET'S GET READY FOR DINNER. COME ON, BOTH OF YOU, COME ON.
ARE YOU GOING TO PLAY BASEBALL
WITH ME TOMORROW?
I DON'T HAVE A GLOVE.
I'LL BUY YOU ONE. GO WASH YOUR HANDS.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
AH, KIDS SMELL GOOD.
AH, BABIES ARE THE BEST.
DO YOU LIKE THEM?
WHAT, YOUR KIDS?
YEAH, THEY'RE FUN.
THEY'RE NOT MONSTERS.
THEY ACTUALLY LISTEN TO WHAT YOU SAY.
THEY'RE GREAT.
DID YOU EVER WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN?
I THOUGHT I COULD JUST BORROW YOURS.
NAH, I NEVER DID, BUT I DON'T KNOW.
LATELY I'VE THOUGHT MAYBE I MADE THE WRONG CHOICE.
IT'S NEVER TOO LATE.
HEY, HEY, HEY.
WANT TO HAVE A KID?
JUST LIKE THAT?
OK, LET'S GET MARRIED FIRST.
WHAT?
WILL YOU MARRY ME?
AGO THEY SAID
THE HOUSE WAS
WELL, THAT WAS FOUR YEARS AGO.
YEAH, BUT THAT'S 40,000 LESS
THAN THE ASKING PRICE.
BUT IT'S ALSO THE FIRST OFFER YOU'VE HAD.
GREAT, ISN'T THIS SOMEBODY'S JOB?
LOOK, YOU SIGN IT BACK AT A PRICE YOU CAN LIVE WITH
AND SEE WHAT THEY SAY.
BUT YOU'VE GOT TO LET ME KNOW WHAT'S MORE IMPORTANT.
I MEAN, GETTING YOUR PRICE OR GETTING A QUICK SALE.
THESE PEOPLE ARE SERIOUS BUYERS.
IT'S BETTER THAN NOTHING.
THE WHOLE REASON FOR SELLING THE HOUSE
IS TO START UP THE COMPANY.
FOR 180, I MAY AS WELL NOT SELL.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE.
I'LL GO DOWN 10 GRAND.
OH, FINE, WE'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
HI, DAN.
AH, YOU'RE LOOKING DIFFERENT THIS MORNING.
IT'S MORE RUGGED.
LOOKS GOOD ON YOU. IT'S VERY GQ.
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
I SHOULD CHANGE MY IMAGE?
DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY ABOUT YOURSELF.
RIGHT NOW I WANT TO SAY
I'M SORRY, GOD, AND IF YOU TAKE
AWAY THE HEADACHE,
I WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN.
DAMN!
I WOULD LOVE TO DO A COMPLETE MAKEOVER ON YOU.
SO THAT'S BARBARA AT QUEEN'S PARK,
HARRY FOLLOWING THE STEVENSON INQUEST,
KELLY'S COVERING THE DUCHESS OF CLARENCE, WHAT'S LEFT?
THE DON RIVER RECLAMATION CAMPAIGN.
THE TASK FORCE HAS RELEASED ITS STUDY--
I RECOGNIZE THAT LOOK.
EAT SOMETHING GREASY.
YOU'LL FEEL BETTER.
DAN, THE DON RIVER IS YOURS.
OH, PERFECT, ANOTHER
ENVIRONMENTAL STORY.
HEY, THAT STUDY IS 3 INCHES THICK.
YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT.
YEAH, AND WHO CARES.
WE CARE -- IF THEY TURN THAT SEWER
BACK INTO A RIVER, WHAT'S THE COST?
WHERE'LL THEY GET THE MONEY?
JUST THE FACTS -- WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?
I NEVER GET A CHANCE
TO DEVELOP MY STYLE.
YOUR STYLE IS FACTS AND NO HYPE.
DULL IS NOT A STYLE.
I WANT TO DO SOMETHING FUN.
FUN?
YOU WANT TO PUT AN ANGLE
ON THE DON RIVER?
KIDS GO DOWN THERE AT NIGHT
TO MAKE OUT, IT'S WILD.
I HATE THE WAY THEY PIGEONHOLE US.
ROYALS ARE FUN.
AH, NOT THE DUCHESS OF CLARENCE.
AT LEAST NOT THE WAY YOU THINK.
HAPPILY MARRIED, BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN.
A SYMBOL OF CONTINUITY AND STABILITY.
THEY'RE A BUNCH OF UNEDUCATED PARASITES
LIVING OFF THE BACKS OF ORDINARY PEOPLE.
J.C., J.C., J.C.
YOUR POLITICS ARE SHOWING.
SHE DOES A DAMN FINE JOB.
AND SHE'S WORTH EVERY PENNY.
SHE IS A ROYAL PERSONAGE IN THE TRUEST SENSE OF THE WORD.
SHE'S NOBLE, SHE'S REGAL, SHE'S MAJESTIC.
ACTUALLY, HER BROTHER IS MARRIED
TO MY WIFE'S COUSIN'S SISTER-IN-LAW.
I MET HER ONCE.
SHE'S GRACIOUS, SHE'S WARM.
SHE'S WHAT I ALWAYS IMAGINED THE QUEEN MUST BE LIKE.
WHAT?
SHH!
YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT.
NO, WE WERE TALKING ABOUT KIDS.
HE ASKED IF I WANTED KIDS, THEN HE ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM.
AND YOU SAID?
HMM-HMM-HMM-HMM.
DO YOU WANT TO MARRY HIM?
MAYBE, WHY NOT?
HE'S FUN, HE'S SEXY, HE'S SMART.
HE SAYS HE LOVES ME.
MAYBE YOU DON'T LOVE HIM.
I LOVE BEING WITH HIM.
I LOVE, UM, QUIET EVENINGS AT HOME AND PLAYING WITH THE KIDS.
THERE ARE EVENINGS THAT GO BY,
AND I DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT WORK.
WELL, THAT'S NO GOOD.
YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION.
DO YOU LOVE HIM?
IN A WAY, I THINK SO.
CAN YOU SEE SPENDING
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH HIM?
UH, MAYBE.
I FEEL REALLY...SECURE WITH HIM.
HI, MIKE, I WAS JUST LEAVING.
WE'RE SAVED.
OUR NUMBERS FROM LAST MONTH.
WE'VE STOPPED THE BLEEDING.
THEY'RE UP?
NO, BUT THEY'VE STOPPED FALLING.
NO CUTS IN OUR AD RATES, THE BUDGET'S STILL ON TRACK.
AND...THE CARLETON UNIVERSITY SCHOOL OF JOURNALISM
HAS ASKED ME TO BE THEIR KEYNOTE SPEAKER
AT THEIR GRADUATION CEREMONY.
CONGRATULATIONS.
THANK YOU. BUSY TONIGHT?
I THOUGHT I MIGHT RUN SOME IDEAS PAST YOU.
UM, I'D LOVE TO, BUT I...
YOU SEE HIM EVERY NIGHT.
AS A MATTER OF FACT, IT'S THE
WOMEN EXECUTIVE DINNER TONIGHT.
DAN, ARE GOING ANYWHERE NEAR KING STREET?
UH, YEAH, WHY?
THEY'RE RELEASING THE DUCHESS'S ITINERARY AT THE CONSULATE.
I GOT A MEETING WITH MY AGENT HERE.
COULD YOU PICK IT UP?
SURE, WHY ARE YOU MEETING
WITH YOUR AGENT?
OH, THAT HOSTAGE THING.
SOMEBODY WANTS TO OPTION MY STORY.
HI.
READY WHEN YOU ARE, C.B.
11-17, IT STARTS, UM, "IT WAS HERE".
OK.
OH, DID YOU SEE ANNE WHEN SHE CAME IN THIS MORNING?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WELL, SHE JUST FLOATED IN A CLOUD.
WOLFED DOWN TWO BAGELS AND CREAM CHEESE,
AND YOU KNOW THE WAY SHE IS ABOUT HER WEIGHT.
WHAT?
MAYBE SHE DOESN'T CARE ANY MORE.
MAYBE SHE'S GOT OTHER THINGS
ON HER... ON HER MIND.
LIKE WHAT?
WHO KNOWS?
YOU KNOW.
OK, OK, OK.
SO IT'S TO DO WITH A GUY, RIGHT?
SOMETHING TO DO WITH A GUY.
SHE MET SOMEBODY?
NO, SHE'S ALREADY GOING OUT WITH SOMEBODY.
YOU KNOW, WHAT'S-HIS-FACE?
TOM.
YEAH, AH, SO.
SHE...THEY...
SHE'S PREGNANT.
NO.
SHE'S TRYING TO GET PREGNANT.
NO.
MARRIED, THEY'RE GOING TO GET MARRIED.
AH!
HE PROPOSED.
AH, AND SHE SAID YES?
THAT'S A YES, ISN'T IT?
I KNEW IT IT WOULD WORK OUT BETWEEN THEM.
OH, GO FIGURE.
YOU KNOW, I NEVER THOUGHT
HE WAS HER TYPE.
NEITHER DID SHE, AT FIRST.
I JUST HAD TO POINT HER IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.
AND...SHE WANTS TO HAVE A BABY.
ANNE HILDEBRANDT, A MOTHER?
DON'T TELL ANYONE.
IT'S NOT EXACTLY OFFICIAL YET.
DOES MIKE KNOW?
HEY, DAN.
ROGER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I WORK HERE.
SINCE WHEN?
SINCE I GOT LAID OFF AT CHANNEL 7.
GREAT.
YEAH, I'M UPGRADING THEIR COMPUTER SYSTEM.
IT'S A LIVING.
OH, YEAH.
YOU COVERING THE DUCHESS?
THE COMPUTER SAID IT WAS KELLY.
NO, I'M JUST PICKING UP
HER ITINERARY, WHY, WHAT'S UP?
WELL, I'VE A SCOOP FOR HER.
WHAT KIND OF A SCOOP?
WELL, RUMOUR HAS IT THE DUCHESS WILL BE MAKING
AN UNSCHEDULED STOP AT 129 NEWBURY LANE.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN UNSCHEDULED?
WELL, THE SOONER PEOPLE FIND OUT WHAT LOWLIFES THESE ROYALS
ACTUALLY ARE, THE SOONER WE'LL BE RID OF THEM.
HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS?
IT'S A GOOD ONE, DAN, TRUST ME.
129 NEWBURY, AFTER THE CHARITY BALL.
MAKE SURE SHE GETS THIS.
HAVE A GOOD ONE.
ANNE IS GETTING MARRIED?
TO THAT ARCHITECT, TOM KENNEDY.
THEY WANT TO HAVE A BABY.
SHE'S PREGNANT?
NO, NOT YET, AND IT'S A SECRET, OK, NOBODY KNOWS.
I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS THAT
SERIOUS BETWEEN THEM.
DO YOU THINK SHE'LL QUIT?
THE DAY OF THE ACTUAL BIRTH, YEAH.
I THINK SHE'LL PROBABLY TAKE A HALF A DAY OFF.
SO WHAT DO THINK ABOUT BREAST-FEEDING
DURING STORY MEETINGS?
DAN BACK YET?
OH, IS THAT IT?
UH, YEAH.
THANKS.
SAY, HOW DID IT GO WITH YOUR AGENT?
OH, IT'S JUST TALK. WE'LL SEE.
I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THE WAY WE'VE BEEN PIGEONHOLED.
I'VE DONE A THOUSAND OF THESE ENVIRONMENTAL STORIES.
MAYBE IT COULD USE A FRESH APPROACH.
WHAT, YOU WANT TO SWITCH?
THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.
YOU SAVE THE DON, I'LL BABYSIT THE DUCHESS.
HEY, I'M WARNING YOU.
IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR FUN,
SHE'S NOT FUN.
FRANKLY, I'VE GOT A HELL OF A HANGOVER.
IT'S PROBABLY ALL I'M GOOD FOR.
DON'T WE HAVE TO CLEAR IT WITH ANNE?
I'LL TALK TO J.C. USE MY FILE.
TALK TO SID BURLY AT THE SAVE THE DON TASK FORCE.
HE'L
OK, UH, WELL.
HERE'S THE ROYAL BUMPH.
PERFECT.
J.C., I'M GOING TO SWITCH WITH KELLY.
NO.
BE A PAL. IT'S ALL I'M GOOD FOR.
EVERY TIME WE GIVE HER SOMETHING SERIOUS, IT TURNS INTO A CIRCUS.
IT'S ALL BLOCKED OUT, IT'S IN MY FILE.
WHERE WERE YOU LAST NIGHT?
REMEMBER SIMON KENT?
HE USED TO DO CITY HALL.
HE GOT THAT JOB IN SACRAMENTO,
DIDN'T HE -- ANCHORMAN.
THANKS.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
ABOUT WHAT?
I THINK YOU MUST BE THE LAST TO KNOW.
ANNE, SHE'S PREGNANT.
.
ITCH .
HE'S UNDER THE WEATHER. HE'LL KEEP AN EYE ON HER.
OK.
IT'S QUITE SOMETHING ABOUT ANNE, HUH?
ANYTHING ELSE?
NO.
ARE YOU SURE HE'S SICK?
WHY DON'T YOU TRY PUTTING SOME LINAMENT IN THE VAPORIZER?
HEY, I'M NOT TRYING TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO.
DO, DO WHATEVER YOU THINK IS BEST.
'CAUSE HE HOUSE.
YEAH, IT'S A SERIOUS OFFER, BUT WE ARE GOING TO END UP
WITH ABOUT 30,000 LESS THAN WHAT WE LISTED IT FOR.
TELL ME ABOUT IT.
THAT'S THE MARKET, WHAT CAN I SAY?
LISTEN, WHAT IF I GIVE YOU 5,000 EXTRA FROM MY, MY HALF?
OK, JUST THINK ABOUT THAT, AND I'LL GET BACK TO YOU
AFTER I TALK TO THE AGENT, OK?
OK, BYE. SHE'S GIVING ME A HARD TIME.
YEAH, MONEY WILL DO THAT.
COME ON, WE'RE ON.
WHERE?
THE DUCHESS, I SWITCHED WITH KELLY.
SWITCHED WITH KELLY? WHY?
WHY NOT?
WHY CAN'T WE HAVE FUN SOMETIMES?
[ APPLAUSE ]
SAY, THIS IS, THIS IS TERRIBLE.
ISN'T THERE SOMETHING WE CAN DO?
SURE.
WHAT?
WHAT, SID?
HOW ARE WE GOING TO SAVE THIS OLD RIVER?
TELL US, TELL ME.
WELL, UH, IF WE REFOREST AND BUILD WEIRS ALONG HERE
TO STEEPEN THE GRADE, WE COULD HAVE
0
YOU MEAN IT?
WITHIN 15 YEARS, IT'S POSSIBLE?
YES.
THIS RIVER ISN'T DEAD.
THEY DID IT WITH THE THAMES.
PEOPLE ARE SALMON FISHING -- IN LONDON.
IMAGINE FISHING AND SWIMMING RIGHT HERE.
WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS STUPENDOUS, SID.
RECLAIMING THIS FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS.
WELL, UH, SO FAR IT'S JUST TALK.
WELL, NOW IT'S TIME FOR ACTION.
WE JUST HAVE TO THINK OF A WAY TO GET THE MESSAGE ACROSS.
THANK YOU.
BORING.
DID YOU GET IT?
A THING OF BEAUTY. WHAT'S NEXT?
AH, HOSPITAL, NATIVE HOSTEL, MUSEUM.
WHEN DOES SHE GO TO THE CAN?
OH, AND TONIGHT'S THE CHARITY BALL.
BALL, WHAT, A COSTUME BALL?
FORMAL BALL, TUXEDOS.
US IN TUXEDOS?
JUST PRETEND YOU'RE SHOOTING A SNOOKER CHAMPIONSHIP.
WELL, THEN THAT'S IT, RIGHT?
NO, NOT EXACTLY.
WHY, WHAT, WHAT ELSE?
WELL, WHATEVER HAPPENS AFTER THE BALL.
MAYBE SHE'LL GO TO BED
AFTER THE BALL.
MAYBE SHE DOESN'T.
WELL, WHAT ELSE WOULD SHE DO?
WHO'S THIS?
MICHAEL PARNELL.
HIS FATHER'S THE FORMER COACH
OF THE OLYMPIC EQUESTRIAN TEAM.
SIERRA CLUB, HIGH ROLLER, ACCESS TO BUCKINGHAM PALACE.
SOME SAY THROUGH THE BACK DOOR.
TONIGHT AFTER THE CHARITY BALL,
THE DUCHESS OF CLARENCE WILL MAKE
AN UNSCHEDULED VISIT TO HIS HOUSE.
OH.
AND WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN THERE?
I DON'T KNOW.
SOMETHING UNSCHEDULED.
WITH PARNELL.
WHO TIPPED YOU OFF?
ROGER QUIGLEY.
ROGER QUIGLEY, COOKIE QUIGLEY?
AND KELLY DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT THIS, RIGHT?
THAT'S WHY YOU SWITCHED.
THAT'S WHY YOU RIPPED HER OFF.
I DIDN'T RIP HER OFF.
IT'S NOT HER STORY.
WHERE DOES IT SAY I ALWAYS HAVE
TO BE THE STRAIGHT GUY?
I'M SURE KELLY WILL MAKE A WHOLE FRESH APPROACH
TO COVERING THE ENVIRONMENT.
WELL, THE LEAST YOU COULD HAVE DONE WAS WARN ME, MIKE.
I AM IN A STATE OF SHOCK.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
OH, DON'T BE SO DAMN COY.
ANNE IS PREGNANT.
SHE'S GOING TO MARRY TED WHAT'S-HIS-NAME.
SHE'S GOING TO WANT AT LEAST SIX MONTHS MATERNITY LEAVE.
WHO ARE WE GOING TO FIND TO REPLACE HER?
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
IF SHE WANTS TO QUIT YET.
YOU KNOW, OF ALL PEOPLE, YOU'D THINK THAT ANNE
WOULD HAVE HAD THE DECENCY TO DISCUSS IT WITH US
BEFORE SHE'D DESTABILIZE THE ENTIRE MEWSROOM.
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
YOU KNOW, IT JUST GOES TO PROVE
YOU CANNOT DEPEND ON WOMEN IN
POSITIONS OF POWER IN THE WORKPLACE.
ANYBODY CAN BE REPLACED.
YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY, I, I THOUGHT YOU'D BE MORE UPSET.
I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU HAD SORT OF A THING FOR ANNE.
[ SIGHING ]
[ SIGHING ]
COME ON, YOU'RE JOKING.
MAN, HOW DO THEY DO IT?
A HOSPITAL, A NATIVE CENTRE, AND A MUSEUM, ALL IN ONE DAY.
THEY MUST GET PAID BY THE MILE.
THE NATIVE STUFF IS THE BEST.
AND HERE'S THAT PACKAGE YOU WANTED ON THE EQUESTRIAN TEAM.
PERFECT.
THERE YOU ARE.
I HAVE A SIGNED OFFER FROM THE COOPERSMITHS.
THE COOPERSMITHS, THE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO BUY YOUR HOUSE.
OH, YEAH.
THEY'RE WILLING TO COME UP 10.
IS THAT ALL?
OK, WELL, I'LL CALL MY EX.
SHE'S NOT GOING TO BE
TOO HAPPY ABOUT IT, BUT...
WE'VE GOT AT LEAST A COUPLE MORE ROUNDS.
WHERE WILL YOU BE TONIGHT?
I'M WORKING TONIGHT.
OH, GOD, AM I GOING TO BE ABLE TO REACH YOU?
CHRIS!
CHRIS, CHRIS, CHRIS, CHRIS.
YOU WANT SOME OVERTIME TONIGHT?
DAN'S GOT SOME SURVEILLANCE BOOKED.
I'M NEGOTIATING THIS DEAL.
WHERE?
UH, ROSEDALE.
I DON'T KNOW, WHAT TIME?
UH...LATE, IT'S AFTER 11:00.
SORRY, I'VE GOT TICKETS
TO THE BALL GAME TONIGHT.
SORRY.
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE
TO PAGE ME -- HAVE THE NUMBER?
WHAT WAS HE SAYING ABOUT SURVEILLANCE?
SOMETHING TO DO WITH DAN.
I DON'T KNOW.
HMM.
SO, HOW GOES THE DON?
OH, WELL, HARDLY AT ALL, BUT DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY CHEMICALS
THEY PUT IN THERE EVERY SINGLE DAY?
62.
THAT DUCHESS IS REALLY SOMETHING.
HOW DOES SHE KEEP THAT SMILE
PLASTERED ON HER FACE ALL DAY?
WELL, IT'S HER JOB.
WHY IS DAN WITH THE DUCHESS?
DAN SWITCHED WITH KELLY.
J.C. SAID HE O.K.ed IT WITH MIKE.
ANNE?
YEAH?
CONGRATULATIONS.
WHAT FOR?
WELL, LOOK AT YOU, YOU'RE GLOWING.
I'M NOT GLOWING, I'M FINE.
OF COURSE YOU'RE FINE, YOU'RE PREGNANT.
I AM NOT PREGNANT.
YOU'RE NOT?
IS THAT WHAT EVERYBODY THINKS?
IS THAT WHAT THEY THINK?
I'M GOING TO KILL JANE OLIVER.
BUT YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED, AREN'T YOU?
I'VE, I'VE HAD A FIRM OFFER.
TOM, AND YOU SAID?
I'M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU, ANNE.
YOU DESERVE A REAL FAMILY.
AS OPPOSED TO WHAT?
THE DYSFUNCTIONAL UNITS THAT ARE CREEPING
AND HANGING OFF YOU HERE, ME INCLUDED.
THANKS.
WHAT?
SO AM I SUPPOSED TO READ ABOUT IT?
WHAT?
YOU'RE PREGNANT, YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED--
I'M NOT PREGNANT.
EVERYBODY AROUND HERE SEEMS TO-- YOU'RE NOT GETTING MARRIED?
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT IT.
MIKE, MIKE.
WE'VE TRIED.
IT DOESN'T WORK OUT BETWEEN US.
I, I WANT A HOME.
I WANT A FAMILY.
IT WOULDN'T WORK BETWEEN US.
WE'D JUST DRIVE EACH OTHER CRAZY.
WAS THERE AN EQUESTRIAN EVENT
SCHEDULED FOR THE TOUR?
I SEE.
THANKS.
HI, THIS IS CHANNEL 10 SPORTS.
I'M DOING SOME RESEARCH ON THE EQUESTRIAN TEAM.
WHO'S ON IT, ADDRESSES, NAMES, SO I CAN GET IN TOUCH WITH THEM.
MY, DON'T YOU GUYS LOOK CUTE.
IT'S THE CHARITY BALL.
YEAH, MY MOTHER ALWAYS SAID
YOU CAN GET DISEASES WEARING RENTED TUXES.
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WANTED TO SWITCH?
WELL, I TALKED TO J.C.
HE CLEARED IT WITH MIKE.
CONGRATULATIONS, BY THE WAY.
[ SIGHING ]
I AM NOT PREGNANT!
I WOULD LIKE TO SQUELCH THIS RUMOUR IMMEDIATELY.
SCOTCH, DOUBLE.
[ DOORBELL RINGING ]
OH, NO.
OH, SHOOT.
AH, AH, AH, OH, SHOOT.
WHO IS IT?
IT'S ME.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
WE HAVE TO TALK.
ABOUT WHAT?
DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME.
I HAVE TO GET A BAND-AID.
YOU CAN'T MARRY HIM.
DON'T TELL ME WHAT I CAN'T DO.
YOU DON'T LOVE HIM. I KNOW YOU.
OH, RIGHT, LIKE YOU KNOW EVERYTHING, RIGHT?
HE DOESN'T HAVE A CLUE WHO YOU ARE.
MIKE, GET OUT.
LOOK, YOU CAN'T MARRY HIM. I WON'T LET YOU.
I LOVE HIM.
I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.
GET OUT, OK?
JUST, JUST, JUST...MIKE!
YOU SHOULD BE WITH ME, NOT HIM.
WITH ME.
YOU SHOULD BE WITH ME.
WELL, TRY. SIGN IT BACK TO THEM AND GET BACK TO ME, OK?
OH, GOD.
YOU KNOW, I STILL DON'T THINK
YOU'VE THOUGHT THIS THROUGH, YOU KNOW.
YOU CAN'T START A COMMERCIAL COMPANY
WITH A COUPLE THOUSAND BUCKS.
WELL, THINK WHATEVER YOU WANT TO THINK.
I HEAR SIMON KENT GOT THAT, UH, ANCHOR JOB IN SACRAMENTO.
ISN'T HE A FRIEND OF YOURS?
WHAT'S THAT GOT TO DO WITH YOUR COMPANY?
NOTHING -- I JUST KNOW THAT I'M NOT GOING
TO BE DOING THIS THE REST OF MY LIFE,
FREEZING OUR BUTTS OFF BECAUSE YOU'RE JEALOUS OF KELLY.
DO YOU KNOW HOW SIMON GOT THAT JOB?
YEAH, THE SKYJACK STORY
AND THAT STUPID STORY INTERVIEW WITH THE THERAPIST.
HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?
LOOK, DAN, IT'S NOT YOU.
OK, IT'S NOT YOUR STYLE.
YEAH, I KNOW ABOUT MY STYLE. IT'S DULL.
YOU'RE A DOWN-TO-EARTH GUY WITH ETHICS.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?
WHICH IS WHY I'M NOT IN SACRAMENTO MAKING
$300,000 A YEAR.
300?
U.S.
WHOA.
300.
SOMETHING'S HAPPENING.
WHAT IF THEY SEE US?
THEY WON'T SEE US. WE'RE DRESSED IN BLACK.
WHAT IF THEY THINK WE'RE I.R.A.
AND START SHOOTING?
THE I.R.A. DOES NOT WEAR TUXEDOS.
JUST SHUT UP AND SHOOT.
GO ON.
HA, HA, WE GOT HER.
WE GOT HER? WE GOT NOTHING.
WE GOT SOMEBODY GOING INTO A HOUSE.
THAT LOOK ON HERE EYES. DIDN'T YOU SEE IT?
SHE HAD SEX ON THE BRAIN.
MAYBE SHE HAD GAS.
SHE'S UP TO SOMETHING, I KNOW IT.
WE NEED MORE THAN THIS. THIS IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
WE'VE GOT TO GET THEM IN THE SACK OR SOMETHING.
THE BEDROOMS.
AROUND THE BACK, COME ON.
THE BEDROOM?
WHICH IS THE BEDROOM?
DOES IT MATTER? WE CAN'T SEE ANYTHING.
MAYBE THEY'LL COME OUT ON THE DECK.
[ RUSTLING ]
LOOK!
IT'S PARNELL!
UNBELIEVEABLE. ARE YOU GETTING IT?
YEAH, I'M GETTING IT, I'M GETTING IT.
NO WONDER THEY LOST THE EMPIRE.
[ CRASHING ]
IT'S JUST THE RACCOON.
UH-OH.
T'S GET OUT OF HERE.
OR?
I'M COMING, I'M COMING.
AH!
DON'T DROP THE CAMERA.
I DO THIS FOR A LIVING.
I DON'T HEAR ANYTHING.
YEAH, THOSE S.A.S. COMMANDOS -- YOU DON'T HEAR ANYTHING
TILL THEY RIP YOUR HEART OUT AND FEED IT TO YOU.
SHH, LISTEN.
THERE'S A PATH.
HOW WILL WE GET THE JEEP?
I DON'T KNOW -- IF I LOSE
THIS HOUSE DEAL BECAUSE OF THIS, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU.
I ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT YOU'D LOOK LIKE
FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.
THIS IS IT.
YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL.
ARE YOU AS HAPPY AS I AM?
I CAN'T GET THE SMILE OF MY FACE.
I COULD HARDLY SHAVE.
ANNE?
HMM?
I LOVE YOU.
MIKE.
I KNOW.
LET'S GO INTO WORK TOGETHER THIS MORNING.
GET THE RUMOUR MILLS CHURNING.
NO.
WHY?
THEY ALREADY ARE CHURNING.
BUT NOT ABOUT US.
HOW ABOUT DINNER TONIGHT?
I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT'S YOUR
FAVOURITE RESTAURANT?
MAKING LOVE WITH YOU WAS EVERYTHING
I ALWAYS IMAGINED IT WOULD BE.
ME TOO.
TO THINK IT ALMOST DIDN'T HAPPEN.
WE'VE GOT A LOT OF TIME TO MAKE UP FOR.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO TELL TOM?
I DON'T KNOW.
OW.
WHAT'S THE DOOR LOCKED FOR?
UH, SORRY, DIDN'T REALIZE.
WHAT'S THAT?
GEE, I FEEL SO UNDERDRESSED.
UH, LAUNDRY DAY.
WHAT IS THAT?
DAN, I THOUGHT THAT HER HUSBAND WAS BACK IN ENGLAND.
YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THIS.
NOT YET.
DID YOU THINK OF A RESTAURANT YET?
UH, NO.
BETTER IDEA. WHY DON'T WE GO TO MY PLACE?
YOUR PLACE?
YEAH, I REDECORATED.
WELL, I CHANGED THE CALENDAR IN THE KITCHEN.
UH, I, I DON'T KNOW.
WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE.
HEY, HOW DID IT GO LAST NIGHT?
AHEM.
IT WENT OK.
OH, NOTHING SPECIAL.
CHRIS SAID SOMETHING ABOUT SURVEILLANCE.
WELL, WE THOUGHT WE HAD A HOT TIP ON THE DUCHESS.
AND?
NADA.
HMM.
TOO BAD. I GUESS IT'S TRUE.
SHE'S THE BORING ONE.
THAT WAS GREAT.
A LITLE MORE PRACTICE, YOU'LL BE
AS GOOD AN ACTRESS AS SHE IS.
MORNING.
TOM CALLED.
DAN, I NEED TO SEE
THAT PIECE ON THE DUCHESS.
WE NEED A 10-SECOND PREVIEW.
UH, DON'T BOTHER. I'LL DO THAT.
WELL, I'D LIKE TO SEE IT.
THERE'S NOTHING TO SEE. I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.
ANNE, CONGRATULATIONS.
'MORNING, KELLY.
AIN'T LOVE GRAND?
GOOD MORNING, GUYS, AND HOW ARE YOU THIS MORNING, HUH?
HA, HA, HA.
'MORNING, KYLE.
YOUR FAMILY MUST BE PRETTY UPSET THIS MORING.
EXCUSE ME?
ISN'T THE DUCHESS OF CLARENCE PART OF YOUR FAMILY?
WHY, I CERTAINLY THINK OF HER THAT WAY.
AH, YOU DIDN'T HEAR ABOUT DAN'S SCOOP.
WHAT SCOOP?
THE DUCHESS AND MICHAEL PARNELL.
OH, WHAT ABOUT THEM?
YOU WANT TO USE THIS FOR THE PREVIEW?
WHY NOT?
THAT'S THE POINT OF A PREVIEW,
ISN'T IT, GET THE JUICES FLOWING?
GOD MORNING, KYLE.
THAT THE DUCHESS TAPE?
YEAH.
THANK YOU.
WHAT? WE'VE GOT A PREVIEW IN 20 MINUTES.
NOT WITH THIS YOU DON'T.
WHY DON'T WE BOOK OFF SICK, BOTH OF US,
SPEN
WE CAN'T--
LISTEN, KYLE JUST BLEW A GASKET.
HE'S ABOUT TO HAVE DAN DRAWN AND QUARTERED.
YOU BETTER COME.
TOM CALLED AGAIN.
NOT NOW. I'M BUSY, OK?
[ KYLE ]: IT'S EXPLOITATION. AREN'T YOU A JOURNALIST?
[ DAN ]: I WAS FOLLOWING A TIP.
IT'S DISGUSTING.
TRUST ME, THERE'S NOTHING TO SEE.
WHO IS THIS GUY?
MICHAEL PARNELL. HIS FATHER'S COACH OF THE EQUESTRIAN TEAM.
YOU DON'T WHAT SHE'S DOING.
ED
MY INTERPRETATIO ON THE VERGE OF
I CALLED HIS TRAVEL AGENT -- HE AND THE DUCHESS HAVE BEEN
IN THE SAME TOWN SEVEN TIMES IN THE LAST 18 MONTHS.
IT'S THE HORSEY SET. THEY HAVE JUMP-OFFS.
I CALLED PARNELL. HE WON'T RETURN MY CALLS.
NATURALLY NOTHING FROM ROYAL HQ.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW IMPORTANT THE ROYAL FAMILY IS TO THIS COUNTRY?
KYLE, YOU OR I GETTING CAUGHT HAVING AN AFFAIR IS NO BIG DEAL.
BUT THE DUCHESS OF CLARENCE NECKING
WITH SOMEBODY WHO'S NOT HER HUSBAND -- THAT'S NEWS.
[ MAC ]: 10 MINUTES, GUYS.
WHAT ABOUT THE DON RIVER PIECE?
ANOTHER WORK IN PROGRESS. NINE MINUTES.
IT IS NOT GOING ON THE AIR.
KYLE, THINK OF THE MONEY WE'LL LOSE.
ANT THIS.
WE CAN MAKE A PILE OF DOUGH.
I DON'T CARE.
THIS IS THE WORST KIND OF TABLOID ***.
IT'S NOT GOING ON THE AIR, AND THAT'S FINAL.
PROBABLY STILL HAS HIS ORIGINAL BISCUIT TIN FROM THE CORONATION.
MARGE, WE'RE RECUTTING.
OK, I WANT 10 SECONDS OF
RIBBON CUTTING AND BABY KISSING.
HOW DID YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THIS?
A TIP -- SOMEBODY AT THE CONSULATE--
FOLLOWING KELLY AROUND. THIS IS WHY YOU'VE BEEN SNEAKING AROUND.
WHAT IF IT'S TRUE?
I DON'T LIKE BEING LIED TO.
CAN'T WE GET HIS STATEMENT?
YOU SAID HE WOULDN'T TAKE YOUR CALLS.
I DIDN'T SAY WHY I WAS CALLING.
SHOULD I CALL?
DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT.
IT'S TOM AGAIN.
I'M BUSY.
SO...WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
WHY WON'T THEY RUN IT?
KYLE AND ANNE.
THAT'S WHY WE'RE NUMBER THREE.
MARGE, HOW MUCH LONGER, PLEASE?
I'M READY. ARE YOU?
NO.
COME ON, MARGE.
I STILL HAVE ONE OF THOSE
BISCUIT TINS FROM THE CORONATION.
SLANDERING AN ELECTED OFFICIAL IS ONE THING,
BUT TO IMPUGN THE REPUTATION OF NOBILITY...
WELL, ONCE UPON A TIME, THEY WOULD HAVE HAD YOUR HEAD
ON A PIKE.
ACTUALLY, THAT'S NOT SUCH A BAD IDEA, MAC.
[ MARGE ]: HERE IT COMES. 10 SECONDS OF BORING.
OK, STAND BY, SETH.
I HAVEN'T MOVED.
TAKE IT.
GOOD AFTERNOON. I'M SETH MILLER.
A WARM RECEPTION YESTERDAY FOR THE DUCHESS OF CLARENCE,
FOLLOWED BY A CHARITY BALL LAST NIGHT AT THE CONVENTION CENTRE.
HERE'S DAN WATSON.
HA, HA, I DON'T KNOW WHO TO FEEL MORE SORRY FOR -- DAN OR KYLE.
IT'S NOT FUNNY.
OH, COME ON. MAYBE IT'S TRUE.
I DON'T CARE. I DON'T LIKE BEING LIED TO.
[ PHONE RINGING ]
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
UM, I'M GOING TO CHECK KELLY'S PIECE.
YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE LET THEM SWITCH.
HEY, YOU WANT TO HAVE LUNCH?
ANNE? ANNE?
THIS IS TOO RIDICULOUS.
WHERE WERE YOU WHEN YOU MADE THIS RECORDING?
UH, WE WERE IN THE RAVINE.
WE WEREN'T TRESPASSING.
NOT ON MY PROPERTY -- ON MY PRIVACY, UNDOUBTEDLY.
PERHAPS YOU'D CARE TO COMMENT
ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THE DUCHESS FOR THE RECORD.
FOR THE RECORD, YOU'RE A HORSE'S ***.
THE DUCHESS AND I WERE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS.
YOU KNOW MY FATHER COACHED HER AND HER BROTHER IN ENGLAND?
YES, I'M AWARE OF THAT.
NT TO DING SCHOOL IN CANADA
OF HER
WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW WHAT WE WERE DISCUSSING
WHILE YOU WERE PLAYING CANDID CAMERA?
YES, I WOULD.
MY ELDEST SON HAS JUST BEEN ACCEPTED AT ETON.
WE WERE COMMISERATING OVER THE IRONY OF HAVING CHILDREN
AS YOUNG AS WE WERE WHEN WE FIRST MET.
WHY DID THE DUCHESS TAKE SUCH EXTREME MEASURES
TO KEEP HER VISIT TO YOU QUIET?
LOOK IN THE MIRROR, MR. WATSON.
SHE'S TIRED OF BEING HOUNDED DAY AND NIGHT
BY IMBECILES WHO WOULD DO ANYTHING
TO TARNISH HER REPUTATION.
UH, THANK YOU, MR. PARNELL.
UM, MAY I?
I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU WERE MORE INTERESTED IN THE TRUTH
THAN THE REST OF THE PARASITES, MR. WATSON.
IT APPEARS I WAS MISTAKEN.
ANNE, I FOUND YOU, I FOUND YOU.
I WIN THE PRIZE.
WHAT'S THE PRIZE?
CHOCOLATE TWINKLES.
PETER, YOU ARE NEVER TO RUN
AWAY FROM ME LIKE THAT.
HEY, JENNIFER, I'M HERE.
THIS TIME.
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?
IT'S QUITE A UNIQUE APPROACH.
INSTEAD OF LEASING OFFICE SPACE, THEY'RE GOING TO SELL IT
AS CORPORATE HEADQUARTERS FOR CHARITABLE ORGANIZATIONS.
I SEE. WHAT'S YOUR ROLE?
THEY WANT ME TO REDESIGN THE, UH,
COMMON AREA AND THE FACADE.
I HEAR I'M INVITED FOR YOGHURT.
UH, THEIR IDEA.
I THOUGHT IT WAS WORTH A TRY.
YOU HAVE TO.
WHY?
BECAUSE I SAID SO.
OH, THERE THEY ARE, THE HAPPY COUPLE.
KYLE COPELAND.
YOU ARE TED KENNEDY, RIGHT?
TOM.
YES, WELL, HI, THERE.
CONGRATULATIONS.
ADELE AND I ARE CERTAINLY LOOKING FORWARD
TO HAVING YOU TWO OVER ONE OF THESE NIGHTS.
WELL, THAT'S VERY KIND OF YOU.
SHALL WE GO?
HOW YOU DOING THERE, BIG GUY?
IT'S HARD FOR WOMEN
NOT TO LET FAMILY SPILL OVER INTO THE WORKPLACE.
AND IT'S SO DISRUPTIVE.
WHY?
LACK OF FOCUS, LOSS OF CONCENTRATION.
KIDS NEED LOTS OF ATTENTION.
THEY'RE ALWAYS GETTING SICK.
I HATE TO LOSE ANNE TO THAT.
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
SHE'S LEAVING?
THE DOCTOR TOLD ME
YOU WEREN'T GETTING ENOUGH CHOCOLATE TWINKLES.
WHEN DID YOU GET IN LAST NIGHT?
OH, I WAS LATE.
I CALLED. NO ONE ANSWERED.
WELL, I WAS TIRED,
AND I JUST LEFT THE MACHINE ON.
WELL, I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU WERE, UH, AVOIDING ME.
I THOUGHT MAYBE...
I SCARED YOU OFF.
NO.
COME ON. HURRY UP!
60 YEARS AGO, THE DON RIVER WAS A CRYSTAL CLEAR STREAM,
A HOME FOR FISH AND A PLAYGROUND FOR KIDS,
KIDS LIKE HAMISH BURLY, WHOSE SON SID NOW HEADS UP
THE DON VALLEY RECLAMATION TASK FORCE.
NO ONE SWIMS IN THIS RIVER NOW,
BUT THEY SOON WILL IF SID BURLY HAS HIS WAY.
IS IT REALLY POSSIBLE, SID?
WHY NOT? THIS RIVER ISN'T DEAD.
IF PEOPLE CAN FISH IN THE THAMES RIVER
RIGHT OUTSIDE OF LONDON, WHY NOT THE DON?
[ KELLY ]: WHY NOT INDEED?
IF SID HAS HIS WAY, THERE'LL BE NEW ACCESS
TO THE VALLEY FOR CYCLISTS AND JOGGERS AND HIKERS
AND BIRD-WATCHERS AND KIDS OF ALL AGES,
SPLASHING IN THE WATER ON A HOT SUMMER'S DAY.
H,
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?
GOOD. IT'S FRESH -- HACK OUT
90 SECONDS FOR THE THIRD BLOCK.
HAPPY?
YEAH.
FOR THE RECORD, YOU'RE A HORSE'S ***.
THE DUCHESS AND I WERE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS.
NOW WHAT?
WE DON'T RUN THE KISSING.
WE DON'T RUN THIS. IT'S FINISHED.
I REALLY AM A HORSE'S ***.
OH, STOP IT.
YOU'RE A SOLID JOURNALIST.
IT MAY NOT BE FASHIONABLE, BUT THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE.
AND WHERE'S IT GETTING ME?
WELL, IT'S KEEPING YOU EMPLOYED.
THAT'S SOMETHING THESE DAYS.
REMEMBER SIMON KENT?
SURE.
HE GOT AN ANCHOR JOB IN SACRAMENTO.
SO WHAT?
YOU'RE NOT SIMON KENT. YOU'RE NOT KELLY.
JUST BE YOURSELF.
THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.
OK, 198 LESS 15 FOR AGENT AND MISCELLANEOUS,
LESS 45 FOR THE MORTGAGE, LESS 35 FOR MARTHA'S DAD.
WHAT'S THAT?
N.
T LEAVE?
51,500, YEAH, SUBTRACT FIVE THAT I AGREED TO PAY MARTHA
IF SHE WENT DOWN IN PRICE.
YOU DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT THAT.
TO ARGUE WITH HER, YOU KNOW.
I JUST WANTED TO GET IT DONE.
NOW IT'S DONE.
IT'S DONE.
IT'S WEIRD THINKING ABOUT SOMEBODY ELSE
SLEEPING IN JEFF'S ROOM.
YOU KNOW, THAT IS ENOUGH MONEY TO CARRY US AND THE BUSINESS
FOR SIX MONTHS IF YOU DECIDE TO QUIT.
I GOT TO GET A PLACE TO LIVE.
SO YOU CAN MOVE INTO MY PLACE.
YOUR PLACE?
WELL, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH ALL MY STUFF?
I DON'T KNOW, BUT THINK OF THE MONEY WE'RE GOING TO SAVE.
SIX...
OK, YEAH, ALL RIGHT.
OK.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, OK.
SO WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO TELL THEM THAT YOU'RE LEAVING?
WHERE'S ANNE?
I DON'T KNOW.
ANYTHING I CAN DO?
[ PHONE RINGING ]
HEY, DAN, DID YOU SEE THIS?
"BUCKINGHAM PALACE HAS MADE IT OFFICIAL."
"THE DUKE AND DUCHESS ARE SEPARATING."
"IN A SHOCKING ANNOUNCEMENT LATE LAST NIGHT,"
"A SPOKESPERSON FOR THE POPULAR COUPLE STATED"
"THE ACTION WAS BEING TAKEN AT THIS TIME"
"FOR THE BENEFIT FOR ALL CONCERNED."
"THE INQUISITOR HAS ALSO LEARNED"
"THAT CANADIAN SPORTSMAN MICHAEL PARNELL"
"WILL BE ARRIVING IN LONDON TODAY, FUELLING RUMOURS"
"OF A TRANSATLANTIC LOVE TRYST BETWEEN THE TWO EQUESTRIANS."
OH, DAN, IF THEY'D LET YOU RUN THAT FOOTAGE,
YOU'D BE A HOUSEHOLD NAME BY NOW.
[ KELLY ]: WHAT A SCOOP.
TOO BAD.
ANNE, WHAT HAPPENED?
WHERE WERE YOU?
YOU WENT OFF WITH TOM, AND YOU NEVER CAME BACK.
I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.
I'VE MADE UP MY MIND.
AND I'M GOING TO MARRY TOM.