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♪ There's a hundred and four days of summer vacation
♪ and school comes along just to end it
♪ So the annual problem for our generation
♪ is finding a good way to spend it
♪ Like maybe
♪ Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy
♪ or climbing up the Eiffel Tower
♪ Discovering something that doesn't exist
Hey!
♪ Or giving a monkey a shower
♪ Surfing tidal waves
♪ Creating nano-bots or locating Frankenstein's brain
It's over here!
♪ Finding a dodo bird Painting a continent
♪ Or driving our sister insane
Phineas!
♪ As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do
♪ before school starts this fall
Come on, Perry!
♪ So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all!
♪ So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all! ♪
Mom, Phineas and Ferb a Halloween special!
ALL: Trick or treat!
Well, now, would you look at this, Martha.
We've got Frankenstein, Count Dracula
and some kind of Igor or something.
(CHATTERING)
And if it isn't little Candace Flynn!
Where's your costume?
"Where's your costume?"
I haven't worn my hair like this in two years!
Get with that Halloween spirit, Candace.
Please. Trick or treating is for kids.
I'm like way more mature than that.
I'm walking with you till we get to Jeremy's
and then I am out of here.
There they are. I thought we'd never catch up.
Going old-school this year, I see.
Sweet. No costume, huh, Candace?
(GROANS)
Nice fairy princess costume. Where'd you get it?
Actually, I'm not wearing a costume.
Oh, okay.
I got it at the Googolplex Mall.
What kind of person hands out these weird, orange peanuts?
We gotta find a better neighborhood.
That's strange. I've never seen this place before.
You'd think we would have noticed it.
I'm gonna give those orange peanuts a second look.
(LEAVES RUSTLING)
What's that?
Hi, I'm Russell. I live here.
Oh, Russell. Like the leaves.
What are you trying to do? Scare us?
No. Hiding in the leaves makes me feel warm and secure,
relatively speaking.
Why do you not just go inside?
In there? It's haunted!
No! Not cool!
The horrifying screams, moving shadows,
floating objects, ghosts, zombies, vampires...
It's really freaking me out, man!
The light under his chin makes his story pretty convincing.
Actually, there is no scientific evidence for the existence of ghosts.
What do you know? You're a daffodil.
Case closed.
Maybe we can help you, Russell.
Got anything for ghosts, Ferb?
Whoa. Looks like we're in business.
Let's bust us some ghosts.
Hold it there, fella!
Nobody's doing any busting around here without me!
(WOMAN SCREAMS)
Sure, we'll all go. Coming, Russell?
If I have to.
CANDACE: Oh, please.
RUSSELL: Oh, this always happens.
PHINEAS: Don't panic, anyone.
ISABELLA: How could I panic when I'm holding your hand?
ISABELLA: Ew!
(IN SPOOKY VOICE) Hey, where is Perry?
BUFORD: Quit it, Baljeet.
(MIMICKING MONOGRAM) Hello, Agent P.
Welcome to the company Halloween party.
Try the punch. It's wicked good!
Just be sure to use a coaster.
Certain people can be downright persnickety.
(IN NORMAL VOICE) Psst, Agent P.
It's me, Carl!
Had you fooled, didn't I?
I've got the monobrow, the whisk-broom mustache,
but I couldn't get both my eyes on the same side of my nose.
He's like a Picasso or something.
Where is your coaster, Carl?
Sorry, sir.
What do you think? Nice costume, huh?
(CHUCKLES)
My lip feels so naked.
(CLEARS THROAT) Sorry to interrupt the festivities,
but we've been receiving some weird intelligence.
The Danville Golf Course chewed down to bare dirt.
Strange howling at the moon.
Graffiti at every leather shop in the tri-state area.
And we don't know what to make of this crop circle.
Get to the bottom of it, Agent P!
(MIMICKING MONOGRAM) Get to the bottom of it, Agent P.
That's not how I sound, Carl!
That's not how I sound, Carl!
Come on, most of the ghosts are this way.
Good, let's bust them and hit the road.
I'm missing Jeremy's party.
(BEEPING)
Look! My EMF readings are three milligauss,
normal background radiation.
And when we point it at the room it is also...
(BEEPING STOPS)
Seventy eight!
Did we even make these things with double-digit displays?
Um...
Aren't you a little young to be hunting ghosts?
ALL: Yes, yes we are!
(CACKLING)
It's totally like this all the time!
CHORUS: (SINGING) ♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! ♪
Oh, Perry the Platypus!
I was hoping you would come!
What, this?
Yeah, I had to place myself in restraints.
There's a perfectly good explanation, though.
It all started a couple of days ago
when I declared war on grass.
It's not important why, exactly.
Let's just say grass got on my bad side.
Grass and me, we're on the outs, big time.
So I got myself a cow,
the natural predator of grass.
It was slow going.
What I needed was a cow that was motivated not by hunger,
but by a powerful hatred of grass,
like my own burning antipathy!
So I invented the Mind Transfer-inator
to give that cow a piece of my mind.
And as it turns out, cow brain?
Not a lot of room in there for new ideas.
That would have been it, but I started having these gaps in my memory.
I had a strange craving to lick salt.
And I found myself watching the nightly farm report,
and the Pasture Channel way more than usual.
I began to get a sense that I was not quite human anymore.
Which is why I'm in the restraints,
and actually, it stinks 'cause tonight's Halloween,
you know, that's totally my thing!
You know, the only holiday to celebrate evil,
and here I am in these...
Wait, oh, no! Oh, no!
It's happening again! It's happening...
(GRUNTS)
(STRAINING)
(GROANING)
(MOOING)
Three more years till the pension kicks in,
then I am so out of here.
"There are no monsters in America." What a genius.
♪ Get ready for udder terror
♪ Because you're just the cud that he's gonna chew
♪ Cud he's gonna chew
♪ And you've never had steak any rarer
♪ So you better beware of the moo
♪ 'Cause we got a werecow
♪ Werecow on the rampage
♪ You know I think this warning should suffice
♪ Werecow, werecow on the rampage
♪ Look out, he's gonna chew you twice
♪ A werecow, werecow on the rampage ♪
(MOOS EXCITEDLY)
Open it up! Come on, open it up.
Weakling.
At least it was only a 78 on the meter, right?
How could this be worse?
Well, sometimes the floor gives out.
(ALL SCREAMING)
I gotta say, this is a really non-traditional use of interior space.
RUSSELL: Don't all houses have these?
GHOST 1: I have a tremulous voice!
GHOST 2: I'm non-corporeal.
And that's scary.
GHOST 1: I'm not a ghost.
I'm a sheet that lives!
This could be related to your problem.
I am not alive anymore.
(ALL SCREAMING)
Across the river! We'll be safe in that house!
ISABELLA: River? How big is this basement?
This is really the wrong color and viscosity for water.
(SKELETONS GROANING)
Brains.
Spleen.
Pancreases.
Did I mention the zombies?
BALJEET: Do not splash! Do not splash!
Kidneys.
(ALL SCREAMING)
I don't care for organs, but I do enjoy a cucumber sandwich.
Dash it all, they broke my saucer.
Danville Meadows, where yesterday thousands of blades of grass
were senselessly cut down in their prime.
Officials believe the responsibility for this fescue massacre
lies with a werecow
and locals are advised to stay off their lawns.
Forget that! I say we get him!
Yeah!
Wait a minute, you brought a torch on our date?
Hello! Pitchfork!
(SNORES)
Huh? Where am I? How did...
What's that awful taste in my mouth?
And when did they do all this beautiful landscaping?
(GASPS) Oh, no!
Oh, Perry the Platypus, thank goodness you're here.
Quickly, we have to get me back to my lab
before I moo again.
Or mow, 'cause you see it's grass.
And you mow...
(GRUNTS)
(MOOS)
There he is! Let's get him!
Get him!
♪ They got pitchforks and other implements of farming
♪ I don't think they're in a planting mood
He could be hiding behind any one of these poles!
Look, there are more poles over there!
♪ Yeah! We got a werecow
♪ Werecow on the run
♪ They look like they got a score to settle
♪ Werecow
♪ Werecow on the run
♪ They're gonna poke you with some rusty metal
♪ Werecow
First, take three cups of flour...
(SCREAMS)
(MOOS)
Dead end!
(ALL GASP)
Relax and stay a while.
Stay forever!
"Nobody busts but me." Smart.
(CACKLING)
Wait a minute. If you're a ghost,
and you have a pumpkin head,
what did that make you when you were alive?
The probability of a humanoid-vegetable hybrid
is exceedingly remote.
Sparks!
It was a ghost robot?
No, just a regular one.
I think there's something strange not going on here.
Ah, darn servomotors.
You guys really gave us a heck of a workout.
"Us"?
I'm Russell's dad. Waylan.
And I'm his mom. Mona.
Russell, Waylan and Mona?
They're like themed for Halloween or something.
But our equipment. How did you...
A frequency emitter!
You sly dog, Russ.
We've got them all over the place.
Hey, what's that in your ear?
How did you do that?
Sorry, that's a... trade secret.
Wow! This is one of the best Halloween tricks ever.
I am totally hopped up on adrenaline now!
What a rush!
Yeah, blah, blah, blah, love-fest.
Some of us have somewhere to be.
Yeah, but before we go, how about one more trick?
Well, um...
(RUMBLING)
(MOOS)
(ALL CLAMORING)
Wow! A mob of angry ghosts chasing a werecow!
How do you do it?
Um, smoke?
And mirrors.
(GROANS)
WAYLAN: Goodnight, Phineas. Goodnight, Ferb.
(ALL BIDDING FAREWELL)
You know, for a minute there,
I thought that there really were ghosts.
(GASPS) The old house! It's gone!
We're just, uh, packing it up for the season.
Isn't this the moment in one of these things
when someone really turns into a ghost?
Dude, that's it.
Oh, okay, see you next year.
MICHAEL: You can't fly away from us, Jared.
(HISSES)
Ha! Now you're trapped.
(STRAINING)
He's bent the gate!
MICHAEL: His vampire strength won't save him this time.
Wow, super vampire strength.
And he's super cute.
(PEOPLE SHUSHING)
CANDACE: Oh, look, he has no reflection in that mirror!
I can't see my hair!
(GROWLS)
CANDACE: Oh, look, Stacy, he's cornered.
Now he's really stuck.
Speaking of stuck, what's up with this floor?
Jared. Michael. Don't do this!
(ROARS)
It's the end of the line, Jared.
I expect this from your kind, Michael.
Football players, I mean.
But Kristen, we were both moody outcasts.
We loved each other.
Yes, yes, we did.
We did and... Wait a minute,
wasn't he just wearing a shirt?
You'll no longer drink the blood of those you love.
Wait! Those drapes were a gift from my...
(SCREAMS)
The hideous light of the day star!
(SCREAMS MEEKLY)
KRISTEN: Where did that wind come from?
MICHAEL: Oops, sorry, I opened the window.
It was getting stuffy in here.
That was the best movie ever.
Yeah, I know. Imagine if you had to choose
between a bloodthirsty, undead walking corpse
and a slobbering hairy lupine man-beast for a boyfriend.
What could possibly be cooler?
(SCREAMS) Get it off me! Get it off me!
Careful with that promotional bat! It's rented.
You really rented a bat?
Yeah, I know. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh, no. I think it's really paying off here.
Get it off me! Get it off me! Get it off me!
I know what you mean, Ferb.
It does seem like more than 104 days.
Boys, I'm off to Bobby's.
If you need anything, your father's inside watching television.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)
Well, this isn't much of a horror movie.
Where are the rock and roll musical numbers?
Oh, and Ferb, you left your pen on the kitchen table.
Have fun today. I'll be back later.
Bye, Mom. I was wondering where that went.
Okay, Ferb, let's have a look through our blueprints.
Cookie-powered jet car, haunted office building ride with temp ghosts,
a reenactment of the Battle of Danville?
Hey, Phineas. What you doing?
Trying to pick something to do today. What's that?
This is Bambina. My bamboo.
Only she's not doing so well.
She needs help.
The poor girl probably just needs some sunlight.
Ferb and I can rig up a super grow lamp in no time.
You'd do that for me?
Sure. Ferb, I know what we're...
Hey, how come you guys are making something special for her?
What about me?
And me!
It's a nerd carrier. I had a heck of a time getting him in.
Scratched me all up!
I'd like something, too.
How long have you been there?
I'm not sure. What's today?
Ferb, I know what we're doing today.
Taking requests!
Hey, where's Perry?
(VIDEO GAME MUSIC PLAYING)
Oh, Agent P, how long have you been sitting there?
(CHUCKLES)
I guess I better get started.
We've received a weird message
from Dr. Doofenshmirtz this morning
claiming that he will no longer seek to take over the tri-state area.
And he used a very unusual method for conveying his message. Carl?
He wrote a letter by hand, then put it in an envelope.
And sent it through the regular mail, with a stamp and everything!
Who does that?
And it's scented.
(SNIFFS) Mmm, Milbank Nights.
One of the better perfumes to come out of South Dakota.
When an evil scientist sends fragrant letters,
wrongdoing can't be far behind.
Dismissed, Agent P.
Carl, let me, uh, smell that letter again, would you?
You know, Candace, you're just lucky that bat didn't bite you.
I mean, what if it was a vampire bat?
Me, a vampire? (SCOFFS)
Don't be silly, Stacy.
It would be cool to have super-strength, though.
And be able to fly.
Yeah, but you'd never be able to see yourself in a mirror again.
How would you put on your makeup?
CHORUS: (SINGING) ♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! ♪
Perry the Platypus, didn't you get my letter?
Oh, of course not. Here, I'll read it to you.
"Dear Perry the Platypus,
"I know Major Monogram will ignore my letter
"and send you to stop me.
"That's why you are now trapped.
"Best wishes, your nemesis, Heinz."
Come to think of it, it wouldn't have made much sense until now.
It's probably good that you didn't get it earlier.
It would have just been confusing.
And I would have been stuck with having to explain it to you.
Speaking of stuck,
you've landed on a square of the stickiest surface known to man.
It's a tile from the floor of the Danville Multiplex.
I discovered it when I went to go see that teen vampire movie.
Loved it!
And now, behold!
The Gimmelshtoomp-inator!
See, Perry the Platypus, I've been setting my sights too high,
I think, trying to subdue a modern city.
I need to conquer a backward land where people are superstitious.
And that's why I'm going to turn the tri-state area
into a reasonable facsimile of Gimmelshtoomp.
The buildings, the clothing,
the more easily conquered backward mind-set.
Here's a sample. Look.
My beautiful, modern, state of the art bathroom
is changed into... a Gimmelshtoompian powder room.
Ah, that takes me back.
Well, I gotta get home, Stacy.
Jeremy is supposed to drop off my MP3 player this afternoon
on his way to work.
Well, don't attack him, Miss Undead.
Right, as if.
Jeremy won't be here for another couple of minutes.
That gives me just enough time to bust Phineas and Ferb.
Okay, you guys, you are so...
Hey, they're not here.
What's this?
This stuff's way below their usually bustable level.
I wonder what they're doing out here with Dad's old barbells.
Hey! I've never been able to...
(GASPS) Super-strength.
(GASPS) What if that really was a vampire bat?
Candace, get a hold of yourself!
I mean, it's not like I can fly.
Oh, my gosh!
Okay, there's only one way to know for sure!
A mirror.
Oh, no! No reflection!
(MAN READING)
Okay, Ferb, let's run through the list.
To fulfill Isabella's request,
we've rigged a super bright grow light to intermittently go on and off
as Bambina needs it.
Next, Baljeet's request to lift heavy objects,
accomplished by using gravity counteracting barbells.
I am so happy!
I have just torn my rotator cuff!
Buford's request to float in the air
using levitation air jets in the lawn...
Now I can look down on everyone.
Last up is Irving's request to be invisible,
accomplished with this mirror-shaped live video playback
and effects screen.
Sweet!
(MAN READING)
Is it possible? Am I a vampire?
(HISSES) The hideous light of the day star!
(GASPS) I am a vampire!
I must hide myself!
Now, what's gonna be the first part of the tri-state area
to get the Gimmelshtoomp makeover?
Ow! Ow!
Oh, yeah? Take that!
Ow! Ooh, not the forehead! Not the forehead!
(GRUNTING)
I don't know if you know this or not,
but I was boxing champion at my middle school
back in Gimmelshtoomp and I got a few moves that...
(EXCLAIMS)
Candace? I brought your MP3 player.
(HISSES) Don't look at me!
I have to get away from you, Jeremy.
For your own protection!
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING ON TELEVISION)
Oh, hey, Mr. Fletcher.
Oh, Candace, hey!
I have to find Phineas and Ferb.
They'll know how to change me back.
Did Candace just jump over that fence?
You had to take her to the vampire movie, didn't you?
♪ It's not romantic or that cool
♪ To live forever more
♪ When you have to buy your undead things
♪ From Danville's one Goth store
♪ I'm a grim and lonely vampire teen
♪ Living in a brightly lit suburban dream
(GASPS)
♪ I should sleep, sleep, sleep till the day is done
♪ But I'm a lost little vampire
♪ In the sun! ♪
DOOFENSHMIRTZ: Quit it! Quit it! Quit it!
Yeah, my dad said I could drive it
just as long as I didn't get a scratch on it...
Aw, my dad's gonna kill me!
Why, dude? It's not scratched.
Oh, hey, Candace.
Did you come to pick up your MP3 player?
Huh? No, no. Have you seen my brothers?
Sure, yeah, they were just here.
They went home to look for you.
Oh, no, villagers.
(SCREAMS)
(IN STRANGE ACCENT) What about your music box with the tiny cowboy?
Oh, no. More villagers!
Gotta get home! Gotta get home! Gotta get home!
You don't stand a chance with that tile still stuck to your feet.
Oh, oh, the knee again? Really?
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Time, time, time.
I need a bathroom break.
I'll be right back.
Don't do anything until I get back, okay?
Don't touch a thing. I'll be right...
Oh.
What was that?
(NEIGHING)
Well, now it's scratched.
Curse you, Perry the...
Oh. Never mind.
Phineas, open the door. Open the door! Open the door!
There's angry villagers out here.
Open the door!
Hey, Candace. What's wrong?
There's a bunch of villagers and they're after me.
You mean those guys?
Candace, I think they prefer to be called marathoners.
Why would marathoners be following anyone?
Besides, you know, three guys from Kenya.
Because I'm a vampire, Phineas.
What makes you think you're a vampire?
Well, I can lift heavy objects and I can levitate
and I can't see my reflection in the mirror.
It sounds like a vampire to me.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Come here, Ferb, come here.
I think I know what's going on here.
Candace, when you discovered that you had these powers,
were you in the backyard?
Yeah. Why?
Oh, Candace, that was just some stuff we made for our friends.
You're not a vampire. Look, I'll prove it.
See? The sun has absolutely no effect on you.
Ferb, we're gonna need a dustpan and some glue.
♪ When you have to buy your undead things
♪ From Danville's one Goth store
♪ I'm a grim and lonely vampire teen
♪ Living in a brightly lit suburban dream
♪ I should sleep till the day is done
♪ But I'm a lost little vampire
♪ In the sun! ♪