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Today's episode is dedicated to helping my fellow gringos
find love, in Spanish
Forget conversational Spanish
If you wanna make a Latina fall in love with you
go straight to the cat call
"Como quisiera ser ***, para hacer tronar esas nalgas!"
Oh, how I would like to be a fart so that I could blow through your butt cheeks
like a trumpet.
"Las rosas son rosas, el viento las mueve
Yo sere el 6, y tu seras el 9."
Translation: roses are red, the wind moves them
I'll be the 6, you be the 9.
A cat call can never be too offensive.
"Te chuparia el hocico,
hasta que te aplaudieran las orejas"
I would suck on your snout until your ears clap.
"Si tu me amas y yo te amo,
por que no nos besamos por donde meamos?"
If you love me and I love you,
why don't we kiss each other where we pee from?
"Quisiera ser baldosa para mirarte esa concha hermosa"
I'd like to be a tile on the floor so I could look at your beautiful shell.
Shell means ***.
Wanna add some flare to your cat call?
Throw in a little poo talk!
"Mamita, con ese culo, te invito a cagar a casa!"
Little mama, with that ***
I'd invite you to take a dump at my place.
"me gustaria ser tu bombacha
aunque me cagues a pedos."
I'd like to be your underwear even though you
poop me to farts.
you may have noticed there's a lot of catcalls that refer to a woman's behind
but this one's my personal favorite:
"Que linda maquinita para cortar ***!"
What a beautiful little poop-cutting machine you've got there!
The cat call is a work of art
it's a masterpiece
It's a poem!
It's everything love is
wrapped into offense phrases.
"Si se juntan los mares y los rios,
por que no juntar tus genitales con los mios?"
The seas and the rivers come together,
why don't we have our genitals come together?
"Te pongo una manzana en la boca
y te chupo el culo hasta que salga cidra"
I'll put an apple in your mouth and suck your butt
until cider comes out!
If these cat calls don't get you laid
then you must be the problem...