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Every time I cast All Stars Night, I feel...
Shame on you, smoking here.
Every time I see the bodily form of SanPao, I feel some distress in my heart.
In order to become a fabulous lady-killer in the future, I do my best to maintain my physical appearance...
catering to the varied tastes and needs of young maidens.
Here at PLU, we have three Starcraft commentators: We have a grandmaster, DaShi... secondly a fool, Alone...
and number three, this thug named SanPao.
Every time we cast together, the contrast is just disturbing.
If you look at the clothing we're wearing...
This is light and darkness, god and the devil.
Okay... this show isn't about crime and the underworld. We're not here to teach you how to be boss.
Though of course, naturally, I am the boss.
Our show is called All Stars Night. Nice to see all of you again.
We're a Starcraft show, right?
Yes, right. We're not a KoF show, thought players may seem to come to blows at times.
Last time we had your "god-father" here.
Ahh... don't make jokes like that.
Your "god-grandpa" then.
But after taking advantage of our hospitality on the show, he utterly humiliated himself.
Our current guest said this:
"Last time's player, that Lx..."
"What a noob ***!"
But he didn't say "***". He used something even less refined.
Right, an organ which frequently comes into contact with dicks.
Today's guest is ... F91.
Oi... we're talking about you.
F91, give everybody a greeting.
Hi, I'm F91. I'm here today to show everyone how pros *** noobs.
F91 turns out to be quite a trash talker.
Let me tell you. After the last show, I had a problem.
I phoned every top player in China, and not a single one would come.
And why is that?
They're all scared of dying.
Then why were you able to get F91 to come today?
When I phoned F91, he told me this:
(TL: Chinese proverb) "Since time immemorial who hasn't died? What's important is to preserve your immortal spirit."
Ahh... so it turns out F91 is doing this for the greater good of Starcraft players everywhere, putting his reputation on the line.
F91, are you nervous?
Why would I be nervous? As long as I've got workers, I can just A-move people and win.
"A people", hey, this sounds oddly familiar!
F91, do mind us asking...
Do you recall a few nights ago, playing a player named jianren2v2?
(Shows clip from Lx's episode, when F91 defeated him 3-0, smurfing as MoonMyMM)
"Vs no toss"... what does that mean?
It can mean one of two things:
Either asking you to not play protoss, or... protoss players, don't bother because you all suck too hard.
Ahh... yes I remember that player. Quite skilled, I remember.
So... that was you that played him, right?
Right. That was me.
Well... our current issue is not whether MoonMyMM is F91 or not. What we want to do now is learn some Starcraft.
Okay... just let me explain. I was really bored the other day, and had nobody to practice with. So I was just smurfing and having some fun.
Then, I met somebody, call her "Mei Mei", who hung out with me, and I was showing this person some Starcraft.
Then I met someone named jianren2v2, and he seemed really bm.
But he wasn't bm at all! I think you're bm!
He was really low-key. He said he wanted to learn from you:
"Brother, please let me play a tutoring game with you." He said it respectfully like that.
Well... at my level, even if I taught him, he still wouldn't understand anything.
So did you end up teaching him?
Nah... I was just showing off a bit.
When he caught your mutas with a dark archon, what were you thinking?
Okay... I think he is still pretty strong. You can see his potential.
So after three games, why did you stop?
I thought there was no point. Even if we continued, you'd just end up with the same result.
You know, when we invited Lx, in our minds, he was the strongest player in China.
We know that some time before Lx's episode that he humbled you in a tournament, and you basically kneeled down before him.
So why is it that on-line... you're suddenly expressing these thoughts?
Okay... well this set-up you have here. It is a bit cumbersome.
Lx didn't show his true potential. If he is at full strength, I don't stand a chance.
A lot of discontent Lx fans approached us.
They said that after analyzing the replays carefully, they found that the zerg player was cheating.
So what do you say to that? They accuse you of cheating after careful analysis.
(TL: VS - Chinese ladder) To be honest, when I use that ID on VS, many people accuse me of cheating.
Actually, when they say I'm cheating, to me, it's a kind of compliment.
F91 tells us that he frequently uses this ID on VS (MoonMyMM).
Oh... well this ID. You'll have to stop using it.
When F91 came onto the show today, he and Lx gave off completely different impressions.
Lx is not showy at all, quite modest.
Yes, he was like: "Let's not do this today. How about tomorrow?"
And of course, next day, he would say "How about tomorrow?" again.
Before we started, he said "Let's not go on ICCup. Let's just play on VS."
So we ended up not going on ICCup for 30 minutes, and ended up meeting you.
It was fate, I tell you. Not early, not late. At that exact time, he stepped on dog ***.
Look, F91 is pretending he's not listening.
What? I didn't hear.
Okay... let's stop the small talk. We have limited time here today.
F91 said he wanted to demonstrate for everyone today, on VS, which race will cry NOOOOOOO beneath his strength.
I still remember that statement. F91 has prepared his mouse. Let's get on with the games, and see if F91 can realize his words.
"Vs No Terran!!"
Way too cocky. This... motherfu... looking for an early death, this ***.
(TL: JeeSin, ranked A- on ICCup) Everyone pay attention to this ID!
Actually, this ID. Yesterday...
F91, on this show, we have a rule: Say one swear word, next game lose a worker.
Okay, I'll stop cursing.
Actually, this Vs No Terran guy. I played him last night.
What's this? "can't even split your drones, and you're still playing SC."
This observer is strong?
Which map is this?
This map is Chupun Ryeong. This player is really, really skilled. I know he is actually really strong.
Hey, aren't you a zerg player?
This... use my zerg against this kind of trash? Screw that.
Heh...please continue talking about how he's really good.
His apm is around 400. A 400 apm zerg.
How about you?
Well... just look at me. This kind of apm... 150, 160?
Ahh... are you sure about that? Looks more like 120 to me.
It's the meaning behind the song that matters.
Oh... you've got meaning?
Let me tell you... last time, Lx played zerg in a zvp and lost his first game. He was just straight up attacked and killed.
He tried to micro his mutas a bit.
Yes...but he suddenly realized something.
He realized that he doesn't have Master F91's level of mutalisk control.
Ahh... Lx, that was a real tragedy.