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Today, I'm going to talk to you about Asexuality and I don't mean the way that fungi and bacteria reproduce.
"I'm asexual!" No, really! It's a real thing!
Asexuality is a *** orientation, in the same way that
heterosexuality, bisexuality, and homosexuality, among others, are *** orientations.
Now, you'd think, by looking at that list, all the bases are covered: females, males, everyone
in between and outside of those categories, but you'd be wrong, because...
Asexuality is not experiencing *** attraction to anyone, regardless of gender.
So now you're thinking: well isn't that just celibacy?
Well, no... not at all, actually.
While celibacy is something that people can choose to practice, asexuality is an intrinsic
part of who we are and not something we can choose.
Alright, let me help you visualize this:
Imagine there was a table of *** orientations, where along the top there you had "Attracted
to Females" and just to the right of it "Not Attracted to Females" and then you had the
same for males along the side.
When placing yourself in the table, you can see that in the top left you would be bisexual,
as you're in the same column as attracted to females
and in the same row as attracted to males.
In the top right, you can be one of two things: either a heterosexual female or
a homosexual male. (As you can see, this pattern continues in the bottom left).
But what about that last spot there? Clearly the *** orientation table would not be
complete without the last section filled out, and that is where asexuality comes into play.
Like most things related to sexuality, asexuality is a spectrum.
This means that there are also people who still experience *** attraction although
infrequently enough that they still identify with the asexual community
This is known as gray-***, and there are others who only experience *** attraction to those
whom they have formed a close emotional bond with. This is known as demisexual.
So, with this new knowledge, you can see that the previous table should look a little more like this:
Now these tables are still incomplete as gender, intensity of attraction, and several other
factors weren't fully taken into account but for simplicity's sake, we'll leave it at this
for today.
Believe it or not, there is actually a lot of diversity within the asexual community,
and while some asexuals do not want to partake in any sort of romantic relationship, there
are definitely those who do.
So what do I mean by this exactly?
Well, along with having a *** orientation, all people, not just asexuals, also have what
is called a romantic orientation.
For every *** orientation that exists, a romantic orientation also exists, so while
a heterosexual person may desire to form a *** relationship with someone of the opposite
sex or gender, a heteroromantic person may desire to further a romantic relationship
with someone of the opposite sex or gender.
Of course, this applies to all people regardless of sexuality. You can have a combination
of orientations, such as a heteroromantic asexual - someone who isn't attracted to anyone sexually
but is romantically attracted to, or wants to form a romantic relationship with,
someone of the opposite sex or gender.
As I already stated, any combination can and does exist, so within and outside of the asexual
community, there are people who are romantically attracted to females, males, anyone in between
and outside of those categories, as well as people who aren't attracted to anyone at all.
Finally, just because somebody isn't sexually attracted to anyone, that doesn't mean that
they can't experience *** arousal. Many do experience this *** arousal (or sex
drive) which is also known as libido, and even if an asexual does experience ***
arousal, it doesn't mean they aren't asexual, as they aren't being sexually aroused by someone.
Some asexuals do *** though feel little to no desire for partnered sexuality. Some
asexuals do desire partnered sexuality and some asexuals experience no *** arousal
whatsoever.
Now that we've got a pretty good idea of what asexuality is,
let's take a look at what asexuality isn't.
Asexuality is not: - A mental disorder
- A hormonal imbalance - Something to be fixed
- A fear of sex - A repulsion to sex
although you can still be asexual and sex-repulsed - A sudden lack of interest or ability in sex
- And finally, it is not necessarily the result
of some past trauma. We, nor anyone else for that matter, will appreciate you
declaring abuse on someone just because you believe they were abused.
Alright, so what's the big deal? Why do we need to promote asexual awareness so much?
Well, current estimates put asexual prevalence in adults at about 1% of the global population,
and while this may seem insignificant, keep in mind that there are well over seven billion
people on the planet. The amount of asexuals living here on earth likely ranges well into
the millions, but the majority of these people don't have a way to describe what they're
feeling or fear being shunned by a society that greatly values sex should they come
forth about their lack of *** attraction.
A significant amount of people, including medical professionals and therapists, impose
that an asexual's lack of *** attraction or desire is due to a mental illness, a hormonal imbalance,
physical unattractiveness or past abuse, along with many other derogatory reasons.
Because of this, many asexuals face isolation, opposition, erasure, and threats of corrective
*** while persistently being pressured into acting sexually and entering into *** scenarios
that they don't feel comfortable with in order to be seen as normal and healthy human beings.
Therefore, asexual awareness is absolutely vital, not only to let asexuals know that
there is nothing wrong with them, but to also let anyone who has in any type of relationship
with an asexual know that they are doing nothing wrong either. The non-asexual person didn't
fail as a friend, parent, sibling, or romantic partner, and didn't cause the asexual person
to be 'broken' or 'repressed' simply because that person does not experience *** attraction.
The asexual always was, is, and forever will be perfectly a-okay, just the way they are.
Today, we learned about asexuality, and how asexuals experience no *** attraction to
anyone. We now know that it 's different from celibacy, which is a choice, and we took a
look at a couple of tables which displayed different degrees and types of *** attraction,
including the gray area. We learned that romantic orientations exist separately from ***
orientations, allowing for romantic asexuals, and that asexuals can experience *** arousal.
Finally, we took a look at what asexuality isn't, and why asexual awareness is so important.
Our goal with Everything's A-Okay is to spread visibility and education and to provide support
to those who would have difficulty finding it elsewhere. We plan to continue posting
new videos on asexuality every Friday so come check back here often or subscribe to our
YouTube channel to be notified of new postings.
Feel free to leave any questions you have about asexuality
in the comments below and our team will do our best to make sure to answer each question
or provide materials where you can find those answers yourself if we are unsure.
You can contact us at support@a-okay.org or visit our website at a-okay.org or the main asexuality
website at asexuality.org for more information on asexuality.
Thanks for watching and remember everything's a-okay.