Spike milligan
Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.
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I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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Come in, knock-knock. Spike Milligan? - Yes. Thirty seconds to curtain. It's 30 seconds to the curtain, it's five and 1 1 to the floor. I'll take the curtain. Say, what's that you're wearing? My...
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Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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