Funny or die presents

Solid brass. I lost mine 20 years ago. What happened? A butt-fucking contest. Preaching to the choir. He had three balls. I swear to God. Ew. Two is already a lot of balls. Look what I found. No! No!...

I think the Unicorns should pack their suitcases, 'cause they're about to take a trip in the penalty box. Capisce? It's not your fault that this establishment is insensitive to the needs of your pussy...

Welcome back to another night of award-winning television from Funny or Die. If you haven't seen our program yet, then you're in for a real treat. On the other hand, if you've been following us then...

Oh, hells, yeah! - T-shirt's partying! - Yeah, T-shirt! Yeah! To prove there's no smoke and mirrors, let's try it again with my penis. I didn't take my pants off or anything, did I? - Whipped! -...

Clean this ball juice off my floor. Fucking asshole, come on. Get the fuck out. You like that? Does that feel good? Shut up! You fucking shut up! Hi, there. I'm Ed Halligan and thank you for tuning in...

Left, left! Go right, go right! Go left! Go right! Keep my job? What kind of job's that? A hand job? No. Oh, that's real mature. God! Why do you spite me? Doughnuts. I'm gonna let you know right off...

Your alcoholism has served our community well. This is awful. How about, "cocaine!" - "Come get some, gooks. " - "Go for it!" Barham drives the lane and lays it up Put...

I think the lesson lil Eric learned today is that a role model in the hands beats two in prison. Huh? Fine. You made a hopscotch drawing on the pavement, but it's just gonna be washed away by the rain...

I am the mother of his fucking child. Yeah, twins. Mmm. Shit, yeah, you right. Twins! You might get the new girl, but you'll never get these. On the count of three, say whatever's in your heart. One,...

What? Oh, not what you wanted, huh? I didn't want them to raise the price of happy-hour drinks down at the Lamplighter but they did it. So you can suck on it! Tonight, on the Funny or Die Network:...